TBoneTX

The jihadists will wreak even more, and untold, chaos and murder there.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer clown.

The Repub convention went very smoothly and harmoniously. Save some popcorn for the one in Chicago.

See above.

Sadder News rhododendron status on life support

Li'l Crackpipe wants crack.

Thrilling Thursday-on-Friday report, see man: Took Uncle T-B. to eye doc, cataract follow-up and all is proceeding well man. Got Many (2+2+1) -- si man, Many (2+2+1) -- mosquito-bites while getting him out of his door, ouch man. Lunch was onebag of nuked mixed vegetables, ingest and diet we man. A nice siesta was then taken, zzz we man. Din-din was Tuna Glop, ingest and diet we man. We got the wrong (higher-calorie) nukeable rice from Aldi, must swap it out man. Watched Repub convention, Hulk Hogan hilarious man. We have itineraried Many (2+2) ESs for Friday, road trip man. No party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man. And that was/is our thrilling Thursday, report we man.

Many -- si man, Many -- P-Math errors in recent posts above, see and si and man! Careless DA man! Careless, CARELESS DA man! Recalcitrant Ontarklar! Recalcitrant, RECALCITRANT Ontarklar!

Thread is moved from the K-3 Process forum to General Immigration Discussion -- too many variables and unanswered questions.

We are late in presenting Wednesday's Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A buddy of mine is a veterinarian and a taxidermist. His slogan is, "Either way, you get your dog back."

Democrat Leaders Make Tough Decision To Place Biden On Hospice Following COVID Diagnosis WASHINGTON, D.C. — Five minutes after news broke that President Biden has been diagnosed with COVID, Democrat party leaders were forced to make the difficult decision to place Biden on hospice care. "We just want Joe to be comfortable with the short time he has left," explained Senator Chuck Schumer. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-leaders-make-tough-decision-to-place-biden-on-hospice-following-covid-diagnosis

Goliath Claims He Only Lost Because He Fought David On Slightly Sloped Surface VALLEY OF ELAH — Archaeological findings from the Judean Foothills have just shed new light on the story of David and Goliath, revealing that Goliath claimed to have lost merely because he happened to be fighting David on a slightly sloping hill. A newly unearthed and partly translated scroll purports to give a ring-side account of the end of the battle between the two and includes Goliath's last words [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/goliath-claims-he-only-lost-because-he-was-fighting-david-on-slightly-sloped-surface

Want To Be A Secret Service Agent? Here Are The 12 Job Requirements [...] We at the Babylon Bee have compiled a list of the 12 requirements that Secret Service recruiters are looking for. Do you measure up? [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/want-to-be-a-secret-service-agent-here-are-the-12-job-requirements

Senator Menendez Asks Judge How Many Gold Bars It Would Take To Make This Bribery Conviction Disappear [...] Convicted on all counts related to charges of bribery, conspiracy, extortion, and other crimes, Menendez faced the possibility of receiving a heavy prison sentence, leading him to try to make the judge an offer Menendez hoped would be impossible to refuse. "I'm sure we can make a deal that helps us both," Menendez reportedly told the judge. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/senator-menendez-asks-judge-how-many-gold-bars-it-would-take-to-make-this-bribery-conviction-disappear

Trump Disappointed Nurse Didn't Give Him The Dinosaur Bandage [...] According to multiple sources, Trump specifically requested a dinosaur bandage for his wounded ear while being treated at the emergency room of Butler Memorial Hospital following the attempt on his life at a campaign rally Saturday evening but complained later on after being given a regular white dressing. "Sad. Very sad. I asked for the T-rex," Trump reportedly murmured to members of his inner circle. "The dinosaur bandage would have been cool. Very cool. All the best people get dinosaur bandages. That's what they say. I wanted one. The nurse looked and said [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-disappointed-nurse-didnt-give-him-the-dinosaur-bandage

This is really touching -- a lovely young lady giving her first speech of any kind -- at the RNC! It's obvious that she wrote it herself, too. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WATCH: Kai Trump Describes What Donald Trump Is Like As a Grandfather, Don Jr. Ignites the Crowd On day three of the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump, Jr. brought out his oldest daughter, Kai, to the stage because she wanted to tell the audience and those watching on television who former President Donald Trump is as a grandfather, something you will never hear from the mainstream media. The young Trump started off her speech by saying: [...] https://redstate.com/levon/2024/07/17/watch-kai-trump-describes-what-donald-trump-is-like-as-a-grandfather-don-jr-ignites-the-crowd-n2177036

Bidementia's own "suckers and losers" moment. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One Vet Should Have a Crow to Pluck With POTATUS's Beaumentia [...] Most of Biden's exaggerated or outright mistaken remembrances of his late son are treated with bemusement or irritation and written off as the heartsick and lonely ramblings of an already mentally failing geriatric dementia case. No, Saint Beau didn't do that, but who cares what his father brags about? The ramblings of a bitter, angry, doddering old man. Far worse are Biden's blatant disrespect and disregard for the sacrifices of the military he commands and to the loved ones of those who were truly lost in action, unlike whatever Beau scenario is playing in Biden's vapor-filled head that day. [...] https://hotair.com/tree-hugging-sister/2024/07/17/one-vet-should-have-a-crow-to-pluck-with-potatuss-beaumentia-n3791924

Entertaining reading. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hit the road, Jack If you squint, I reckon you could see two bloody corpses that the Secret Service turned over on that roof in Butler, Pennsylvania. It was not only twenty-year-old loser Thomas Matthew Crooks; hovering right next door is the mangled corpse of the bureaucratic monstrosity that the Biden administration has been wielding against Donald Trump. There it lies, broken and inert. [...] https://thespectator.com/topic/hit-road-jack-smith-special-counsel/

Matt Taibbi nails it yet again. Seeing these occurrences happen all at once is truly remarkable. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Surrender In the wake of a fatal shooting and attempted assassination of Donald Trump, a series of reversals may mark the beginning of a new political era https://www.racket.news/p/the-surrender

The above merits enshrinement in the pantheon of All-Time Greatest VJ Posts. Bravo!

It's also the optimal excuse for all of his current and previous gaffes and failures!

Thrilling Wednesday report, see man: Lunch was onebag of nuked mixed vegetables, ingest we man. Took Mama T-B. to doctor, we chauffeur senior she man man. All but one elevator is out at Mama T-B.'s complex, man. Mama T-B. had to Rollator all the way to the back of the complex and then to the front, exhausted senior she man. We got her a wheelchair at the medical building, big help and only prayer man. At the complex, we used the front-office wheelchair for the circuitous route, good God man. We were highly perspirational after all this, of course didn't wear a sweatband we man. Mama T-B. made up for Tuesday with a donation*, si man. *a confirmed lead for the sale of $Many,000 in Pre-Owned Toilet Seats**, $i man **buy yours today, si man! After off-cooling at the casa, we siesta'd for a wonderful hour-plus, zzz we man. Din-din was Tuna Glop, ingest we man. Miu has not yet been quite as needy as recently, subject to change man. Thursday, we take Uncle T-B. for his post-cataract follow-up, we chauffeur senior he man man. After that, we have more administrative junk to do, Successful Business Typhoon we man. And that was/is our thrilling Wednesday, report we man.

'Welp, Nothing We Can Do Now,' Sighs Secret Service After Assassin Climbs On Modestly Sloped Roof [...] "What? Oh no. Not again…" groaned Agent Kelly Crimsone, rolling her eyes as the would-be assassin scaled a mildly-sloped roof, eluding the clutches of three Secret Service members. "What do we do now, over? Where are we going, over? How are we going to get this guy, headquarters? He's on a sloped roof!" "Just get him!" came the order from the powers that be. "Wait, hold up…he's on a roof? Abort, abort, over! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT get on that roof, especially if it is in any way inclined or sloped, over!" [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/welp-nothing-we-can-do-now-sighs-secret-service-after-assassin-climbs-on-modestly-sloped-roof

Secret Service Director Assures Nation She Wasn't Trying To Get Trump Killed, She's Just Extremely Incompetent WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a heartfelt address to the American people today, Director of the Secret Service Kimberly Cheatle assured the nation that she wasn't trying to get Trump assassinated, stating instead that she's just very highly incompetent. Cheatle's statement follows a host of speculations about potential foul play or intentional negligence on the part of the Secret Service, which prompted her to clarify that her failings stem from being bad at her job, not from any ill-will towards Donald Trump. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/secret-service-director-assures-nation-she-wasnt-trying-to-get-trump-killed-shes-just-bad-at-her-job

Oh No! Piece Of Ear Shot Off Trump Begins To Grow Into Second Trump BUTLER, PA — Terrifying new reports indicate that a piece of Trump's ear that had been shot off during Saturday's assassination attempt has begun growing into a second Trump. "We did not recover the missing part of Trump's ear," said Butler County Sheriff Michael Slupe. "A mistake that may have doomed us all. Now, our scientists tell us it has begun growing into a second version of Trump that will soon threaten the town." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/oh-no-piece-of-ear-shot-off-trump-begins-to-grow-into-second-trump