TBoneTX

Country-specific thread is moved to the Philippines regional forum.

Entire Microsoft Network Goes Down After Greg Removes USB Device Without Clicking 'Eject' First REDMOND, WA — Microsoft servers across the globe crashed Friday after Microsoft employee Greg Wilson, a Principal Software Engineering Lead, removed a USB device without clicking "Eject" first. "Everything is down. Planes are grounded and people can't get on the Internet," Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella confirmed. "And it's all because of Greg!" [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/entire-microsoft-network-goes-down-after-greg-removes-usb-device-without-clicking-eject-first

Secret Service Says It Is Working Tirelessly To Investigate Anyone Criticizing Their Incompetence [...] Washington lawmakers, media pundits, and the general public alike all raised red flags over inconsistencies and apparent failures of the Secret Service in the close call Trump experienced, leading the government agency to release an official statement that it was doing everything within its power to track down anyone who would dare to question the impeccable record of the Secret Service. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/secret-service-says-it-is-working-tirelessly-to-investigate-anyone-criticizing-their-incompetence

~~~~~~~~~~~~ Desperate Democrats List Job Opening For Presidential Candidate On LinkedIn WASHINGTON, D.C. — As rumors about President Biden withdrawing from the presidential race continue to swirl around the nation, desperate Democrat leaders have recently resorted to listing a job opening for a new presidential candidate on LinkedIn. According to the posting, the Democrats are looking for four things in a new candidate: ability to breathe, ability to form coherent sentences, a strong commitment to DEI and abortion, and a lack of being named "Kamala Harris." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/desperate-democrats-list-job-opening-for-presidential-candidate-on-linkedin

There's *ANOTHER* Disturbing Update on the Trump Assassination Attempt It keeps getting worse: Thomas Matthew Crooks, 20, who attempted to assassinate former President Donald Trump on July 13 in Butler, Pennsylvania, reportedly flew a drone over the rally area shortly before he executed his attack. [...] https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2024/07/19/trumps-would-be-assassin-flew-a-drone-over-rally-site-hours-before-assassination-attempt-n2642236

A look inside, and it's glorious. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Inside the 'doom loop' of Joe Biden's campaign Washington (CNN) — Multiple leading Democrats tell CNN they feel caught in what one described as a "doom loop," with every move to keep President Joe Biden in or push him out further destroying their chances against Donald Trump. It's breaking the resolve of even staunch allies. It's feeding bad polls. It's turning off more donors. It's sustaining a media atmosphere where no matter what Biden does, he comes off looking like a failure. And for those who were hoping Biden would quit, the public and private pressure, several top Democrats worry, has been backfiring. [...] https://www.cnn.com/2024/07/19/politics/inside-president-joe-bidens-campaign/index.html

VDH nails it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Can We Let the Voters Decide -- Not the FBI, CIA, DOJ, Lawyers, Prosecutors, and Judges? When Donald Trump seemed to have a lock on the 2016 Republican primary, the Democratic Party concluded that the people could not be counted on to do the "right thing" of electing the Democratic candidate in waiting Hillary Clinton. What followed were eight long years of extralegal efforts [...] https://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2024/07/19/can_we_let_the_voters_decide_--_not_the_fbi_cia_doj_lawyers_prosecutors_and_judges_151298.html

But what does the pot call them?

Y'know, I really wonder how many people actually still own black kettles.

Hillary will jump at the chance to become number, uh, 2.

The deposed Nigerian prince and his barrister managed to overcome the outage and thank you sincerely for helping him to regain his throne.

https://babylonbee.com/news/dc-police-say-they-will-probably-never-discover-who-left-bag-of-cocaine-labeled-property-of-h-biden-at-white-house

Thrilling Friday report, see man: Breakfast (!!?) was a banana, ingest and diet we man. We should have ingested a caffeine pill instead of 2 coffees, regret we man. The Many'rd ES had stairs, and we damaged ourself, HSM tonight man. After ES-ing, serviced indignant miu and then siesta'd, service miu and zzz we man. After zzz-ing, got yelled at for half an hour by Mama T-B., incensed senior she man. Lunch/din-din (at Many [2+2+2] p.m.) was 2 ham sandwiches, indict them and ingest we man. After din-din and consumption of much aspirin, mowed entire lawn, fizzicly regret we man. Many (2+1) thick sweatbands were consumed, 2 job 1 recovery man. We have itineraried Many (2+2+2+1) ESs for Saturday, itinerary we man. No party with the rubias tonight, fizzicly unable to cavort we man. And that was/is our thrilling Friday, report we man.

Friday ES report, see man: We attended all Many (2+2) ESs, responsible we man. The 2nd ES yielded the take, see man: -- toucans Progreso soup, toucans Cream of Potato soup, onecan Cream of 'Shroom soup, onecan corn = $Many-&-a-half ($[2+2] + half a buck), deal man Total = $Many-&-a-half ($[2+2] + half a buck)

Note yet again to T-B.'s self: It must be really tough to be a girl. Mine: Eau de Flung Poo

Yee-HAAAAA! [Note to T-B.'s self: Jokes worked again... jokes worked again... ]

K-3 visas are not issued any longer. The CR-1 visa is superior, anyway.

LL ma'am is back and on fire!

Babylon Bee Editorial: Joe Biden Is Of Sound Mind And Body And The Cruel Attacks On Him Must Stop When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for The Babylon Bee editorial board to opine on the mental capacities of sitting presidents, the nation is probably in some sort of trouble. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/babylon-bee-editorial-joe-biden-is-of-sound-mind-and-body-and-the-cruel-attacks-on-him-must-stop

Most Popular President In History Inundated With Calls To Step Down [...] President Joe Biden, recipient in 2020 of more votes than any other human being in the chronicles of humankind, was surprised to learn that despite his status as the unequivocally most beloved and favored presidential candidate in history, he was on the receiving end of a seemingly endless string of public calls for him to leave office. "What a bunch of malarkey," Biden said to reporters when asked about the mounting pressure for him to drop out of the race. "The idea… [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/most-popular-president-in-history-inundated-with-calls-to-step-down

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ New White House Doctor Sadly Informs Biden Only Cure For COVID Is Euthanasia WASHINGTON, D.C. — Washington sources report that the White House received "a real downer of a prognosis" yesterday after Dr. Pillary Schminton informed President Biden that the only known cure for COVID is euthanasia. Dr. Schminton, who received formal training in Canada, said that — despite the seeming cruelty of it all — euthanasia is the only responsible choice for treating the President's terrible case of COVID-19. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/doctor-sadly-informs-biden-only-cure-for-covid-is-euthanasia

They're honestly cannibalizing themselves, as happened with Bidementia's uncle who crash-landed in Papua New Guinea. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Team Biden Nukes Obama, Schumer, Pelosi: They Gave Us Trump in 2016! [...] Joe Biden and his team have tried fending off calls to withdraw from the race without making it personal -- until today. After Barack Obama began pushing for Biden to get out through the pages of the Washington Post, the gloves came off. Scranton Joe has turned into Snarling Joe and is blaming the entire Democrat establishment for getting Donald Trump elected in the first place [...] https://hotair.com/ed-morrissey/2024/07/18/team-biden-roars-obama-schumer-pelosi-gave-us-trump-in-2016-n3791985

Honestly, aren't the Dems attempting a genuine coup? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If Democrats Want A New Nominee, They Need To Use The 25th Amendment Pressure to step aside as nominee continues to mount against President Joe Biden from members of his own party following a disastrous debate performance that put Biden's cognitive decline on full display. But if Democrats want to get rid of Biden as nominee, they need to use the 25th Amendment. Anything else is an attempted coup. [...] https://thefederalist.com/2024/07/18/if-democrats-want-a-new-nominee-they-need-to-use-the-25th-amendment/

The clearest description and the biggest reaming. Worth reading. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Secret Service Is Clear and Present Threat to Democracy [...] The reason I didn't say anything about this jaw-dropping security failure is because after something like this happens, we become a news cycle full of nonsense. Well, now that we know what we know, it is obvious that the U.S. Secret Service is a clear and present danger to our democracy. [...] https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2024/07/18/nolte-secret-service-clear-present-threat-democracy/

Interesting, by an excellent analyst. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Getting the 2022–23 Elections Right, Part I [...] There is a lot to discuss, so the analysis is split between two reports. This report deals with perhaps the most common misconception about the 2022 elections: that an anti-MAGA majority cost Republicans control of the Senate and limited their gains in the House. It proceeds by examining 2022 congressional election results. It reminds us that Republicans won the popular vote and that these wins extended to important states. Then it shows that these Republican victories extended to state legislatures. Overall, if Donald Trump performs as well in these states in 2024 as Republicans did in 2022, he will likely win the presidency handily. Simply put, the anti-MAGA majority is a myth. A subsequent installment of this report will deal with other issues, such as exploring the 2023 elections and the notion that junk polls skewed the averages. It will attempt to explain what happened to Republicans in 2022 and 2023 and conclude with potentially bad news for Republicans in the lead-up to the 2024 election. [...] https://www.aei.org/research-products/report/getting-the-2022-23-elections-right-part-i/