Applying for a B2 is your only option if you want to have any chance of visiting. History of overstay and a USC significant other are major obstacles, especially the overstay as you have violated the terms and conditions of your VWP.
It is unfortunate to have lost the privilege of being able to travel visa free, however such are the consequences of overstay, even if it’s a day long.
If B2 is denied then he will have to petition you to immigrate or you can petition him to live in the Netherlands. I don’t see another option.