Ontarkie

I think you already know the truth, but you are not listening to your head. You are letting your emotions get the better of you. Listen to you head not your heart. If he can't tell you the truth now what makes you think he will ever change. Men don't change, you are seeing his true self now. Even when you talk to him later he will have a good excuse to why he lied, you tipped him off already when you talked last night. I really don't see this turning out well for you. If you really need to be sure hold of on sending any more paper work to get him here for another year and visit more often. It really is not hard to fake how good and how much he loves you for 16 days. I really do hope I am wrong though and wish you all the best in your decision.

Children generally live with their parents. Not much choice there. They typically enter the same restaurants their parents enter. Not much choice there. They typically get into the car with their parents. Not much choice there either. Kids don't get to make any of these choices. And too many parents make aweful choices for their children. Do children not deserve some degree of protection from parental abuse?

If it feels like a roller coaster ride, that is what it is. When is it going to end and how? I was on a roller coaster ride with my previous relationship. Now, after 14 years, my ex is just starting to realize some things that I realized way back then. You can't change a leopard's spots.

The ticket - you already know that answer to that, it is clear as day in your emails, it is a bad time for you to go, you can't afford it, you should cancel it if you still can. Bear in mind this will probably not go down well with your husband, but you have to do what is right for you.
From an outsider's perspective it is very clear what is happening here - he is manipulative and controlling. He is not putting you first.

I agree there are public hospitals in mexico. He should return there for treatment, I'm glad to see the hospital made the right decision.

I had a friend in similar situation, dispite his lies she brought him to Canada, then petitioned for his daughter. He ended up cheating on her and she is now taking care of his child and their new baby alone. sucks! Should always follow your gut.

I don't even consider the military and government employees even close... our military puts it on the line FREELY and without thanks many times, for that they deserve a perk. Just getting a paycheck from the government... nope.

Presto-chango...
Saying you are at work when the employer says you are on vacation is not a lack of communication. Nor confusion.
Telling someone you are leaving the country the day before you leave - I suppose that is a lack of communication, but much more so a complete lack of respect. The grandfather died three years ago - that's not exactly an emergency.
Oh well, I have believed the wildest lies people told me before I got wise to that. Good luck.

isn't that the same logic that created the slutwalks?

I was able to cross without using my visa. I simply explained that I would be using it at a later date and my reasons why. Does she have another WHTI Compliant Document ? She could use that to cross instead of her passport. Another option is to request a delay in the issuance of the visa following her interview. She would need to ask them about that process as she may not wish to wait the additional length of time.

If it were me, inwould file for divorce. A marriage is about honesty. Although, people do tell very little lies "I didnt grab a cookie out of the cookie jar"- while having crumbles on your face.. This is not OK. He can tell you anything he wants, yet it's up to you what to believe. And using his grandpa's death as an excuse is nothing but disrespectful and unacceptable!
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

I would say go with your instincts. Talking from experience. A been there done that kinda thing. One can clearly tell when someone's lying to you, even though you're in a long-distance relationship. These are all signs, and I'd say you need to pay close attention to them or you're the one who's gonna lose out in the end. Trust me, a relationship that does not have honesty as a base is just not worth it. That said, there definitely are honest men around who are worth keeping too! But then again, they wouldn't even dream of being dishonest in the first place.
My heart goes out to you, but on a more practical note, please do think with your head. If you see signs of dishonesty, get out of it. It's just not worth the pain and heartache you might have to go through in future!

I think you already know the truth, but you are not listening to your head. You are letting your emotions get the better of you. Listen to you head not your heart. If he can't tell you the truth now what makes you think he will ever change. Men don't change, you are seeing his true self now. Even when you talk to him later he will have a good excuse to why he lied, you tipped him off already when you talked last night. I really don't see this turning out well for you. If you really need to be sure hold of on sending any more paper work to get him here for another year and visit more often. It really is not hard to fake how good and how much he loves you for 16 days. I really do hope I am wrong though and wish you all the best in your decision.

I would not trust what that lawyer is saying. If she gets the divorce done with that in it, immigration will definitely look at it in a different light then a no fault divorce. What if she has also called and made a complaint with immigration, saying all kinds of things to them whether she has proof or not if you leave that on your papers may back up her claim of abuse. Then it could very well affect you ROC. I wouldn't put it past her lawyer to try every trick up his sleeves to try and get you out of the US and her out of the affidavit of support. She is hoping you will not be able to fight her, and she gets rid of you and any tied or responsibility she has. You really need to fight this.

I think you already know the truth, but you are not listening to your head. You are letting your emotions get the better of you. Listen to you head not your heart. If he can't tell you the truth now what makes you think he will ever change. Men don't change, you are seeing his true self now. Even when you talk to him later he will have a good excuse to why he lied, you tipped him off already when you talked last night. I really don't see this turning out well for you. If you really need to be sure hold of on sending any more paper work to get him here for another year and visit more often. It really is not hard to fake how good and how much he loves you for 16 days. I really do hope I am wrong though and wish you all the best in your decision.

Because if every person could bring all of then relatives there would be millions and millions more immigrants every year to this country. Where would it end? Someone brings all 10 siblings right away and they bring their spouses and kids, etc. It just isn't feasible.
In American culture, adults typically do not live with their parents or siblings or adult children. Married adults typically DO live with their spouses and minor children and you'll note there isn't a wait for visas for them to come.
Coming to America is a priviledge. It's not a right. The fact that sibling petitions are allowed at all says to me the system is quite generous, not broken as you say. I can only imagine. Ring separated from your family for a long time is awful, but your family member made the choice to immigrate here. They did not have to.

I think you already know the truth, but you are not listening to your head. You are letting your emotions get the better of you. Listen to you head not your heart. If he can't tell you the truth now what makes you think he will ever change. Men don't change, you are seeing his true self now. Even when you talk to him later he will have a good excuse to why he lied, you tipped him off already when you talked last night. I really don't see this turning out well for you. If you really need to be sure hold of on sending any more paper work to get him here for another year and visit more often. It really is not hard to fake how good and how much he loves you for 16 days. I really do hope I am wrong though and wish you all the best in your decision.

I think you already know the truth, but you are not listening to your head. You are letting your emotions get the better of you. Listen to you head not your heart. If he can't tell you the truth now what makes you think he will ever change. Men don't change, you are seeing his true self now. Even when you talk to him later he will have a good excuse to why he lied, you tipped him off already when you talked last night. I really don't see this turning out well for you. If you really need to be sure hold of on sending any more paper work to get him here for another year and visit more often. It really is not hard to fake how good and how much he loves you for 16 days. I really do hope I am wrong though and wish you all the best in your decision.

I think you already know the truth, but you are not listening to your head. You are letting your emotions get the better of you. Listen to you head not your heart. If he can't tell you the truth now what makes you think he will ever change. Men don't change, you are seeing his true self now. Even when you talk to him later he will have a good excuse to why he lied, you tipped him off already when you talked last night. I really don't see this turning out well for you. If you really need to be sure hold of on sending any more paper work to get him here for another year and visit more often. It really is not hard to fake how good and how much he loves you for 16 days. I really do hope I am wrong though and wish you all the best in your decision.

I think you already know the truth, but you are not listening to your head. You are letting your emotions get the better of you. Listen to you head not your heart. If he can't tell you the truth now what makes you think he will ever change. Men don't change, you are seeing his true self now. Even when you talk to him later he will have a good excuse to why he lied, you tipped him off already when you talked last night. I really don't see this turning out well for you. If you really need to be sure hold of on sending any more paper work to get him here for another year and visit more often. It really is not hard to fake how good and how much he loves you for 16 days. I really do hope I am wrong though and wish you all the best in your decision.

Your sister is stupid, so don't listen to her. Listen to yourself! If you don't believe him and don't think you can live with his lies, then cut him off before it's too late.
After you receive your package. Call him and tell him you don't believe him. Get to the truth! Tell him this marriage is not going to work if he is not honest with you.
I personally would drop him because of the web of lies. I don't even care what the real reason was or what he did on his vacation. Without trust there is no relationship.

Visa in hand really is the best way to go, you never know if the visa will get lost int eh mail or she gets puts into AP. Some thing I did was get every little detail that I wanted done first, then all we had to do was get a JP and order our cake and catering. Was pretty easy really. If you are sure 6-8 weeks is enough time to plan a wedding just start planning when she gets the visa, then by the time the flight is booked and she arrives the wait will be that much less. I got my dream wedding in less then a few weeks. It is possible. Good Luck with yours.

A lot of you seem to think that he should just do it and not even think about it.
Ironically, the forums are also full of people discovering they're still legally bound to their ex-spouse after divorce and come here to say "what was I thinking!"
I don't think taking a moment to assess the situation can hurt.
I am the foreign spouse, so I didn't have to do that, but I would've totally understood if my husband took a little while to think about it. And of course I would also understand if his mom had declined being a joint sponsor. It's not "just a signature".
Of course thinking about it before starting the whole immigration process would be a lot better. But some of us were not really aware of what was coming in the next steps.

I think it's kind of healthy to give it a thought before you sign. It is a big commitment, I agree.
On the other hand, it doesn't say you'll have to support your wife till she becomes a citizen, it says the government would come to you for any benefits she would get from them. That's a little different. If she is financially independant, the probability that she gets on welfare is low, don't you think?
Anyway, if you don't want to sign it, she won't have an immigrant visa, period.

Where in the vows do you agree to provide for your spouse forever ? regardless of divorce... until they decide to become citizens. Heck... I don't have to legally provide for my children after they are 18!
For us over 50... with good jobs, adult children, homes in two countries and a mutual prenuptial, this document is still flawed!