DARUMA07

After the interview, the visa took about 2 weeks to arrive. We sent the picture of the visa to the CFO rep because we did that before the interview and proof of payment. She sent us an email of the temp certificate and said the real sticker would arrive by mail. After seven days, it still hadn't arrived. It shipped from metro Manila to metro Manila. It shouldn't have taken that long. I don't even think they sent it.
 
I had booked both our tickets through Japan Airlines because I was in Manila with my wife. We both downloaded the Traze app and filled in our info. We arrived at Terminal 1 at 5:45 AM, but they wouldn't let people enter until 6:30 AM. The guard asked for our Covid test before entering the airport, but we said we were going to the States. No test is required for now. We never had to show anyone the Traze QR code (even though they claim it is mandatory). Also, BoI requires that all departing Filipinos fill out a Travel Declaration form that says they are aware of the risks. I didn't have to fill that out. My wife paid the travel tax, but I didn't have to do that. At the JAL luggage counter, she showed the employee her temp CFO certificate and her passport, and she got her boarding pass. Going through immigration was easy. There were hardly any other passengers in line. We left on time, and when we landed in Narita, they made the people entering Japan get off first. The flight was about 80% full. The rest of the transit passengers got off and walked down this corridor to do a final security check. They just check for scissors or knives. Once through, we stayed at the gate for an hour before we boarded. It seemed like 80% of the airports shops were closed.

We departed Narita on time and except for the crying kids in the row in front of us, the flight was great. It was only 50% full. They fed us from MNL->NRT and then twice from NRT->LAX. It was good food with some Häagen-Dazs as a bonus! You had to wear your face mask on the plane except for when eating. At least they didn't require the plastic face shield too. 

LAX airport was a ghost town. Usually, there are Automated Passport Control Kiosks that you can walk up to and enter your info. All 50 of them were shut down. They made all passengers go to 1 area. We walked to the immigration officer's booth, he looked confused about her IR-1 visa, made a phone call, and then stamped her passport. Total time was 5 min. His only question was verifying the mailing address for the green card, and then he said, "Welcome to the USA." We got our bags and left. 

It’s very important to have photos of your time spent together! Honestly, I don’t see a petition being ever being approved without any photos in your evidence of proof of an ongoing relationship...

That’s great! They need to take this off the list of K1 Visa Guide... #2
 
1. Copies of all airline boarding passes, train passes, itineraries, hotel receipts, passport stamps (make sure you can read the dates on the stamps), and other documentary evidence that you have met within the last two years. You may want to highlight or place post-it notes indicating the dates and locations on the copies (to make the adjudication easier) for the person reviewing your file. 2. Color Photo's of you and your fiance together. Make sure you write your names, date, and location on the back of every photo. Provide two to five photo's. If you only have a single copy of the photo, then make a color copy and send that. If it is a digital photo, have it printed at a local photo store such as Walgreens (if at all possible) or if not on a high quality printer. Place photo's in a plastic bag or photo sheet and label the sheet. Note that you may not receive originals of photo's back.

That’s great! They need to take this off the list of K1 Visa Guide... #2
 
1. Copies of all airline boarding passes, train passes, itineraries, hotel receipts, passport stamps (make sure you can read the dates on the stamps), and other documentary evidence that you have met within the last two years. You may want to highlight or place post-it notes indicating the dates and locations on the copies (to make the adjudication easier) for the person reviewing your file. 2. Color Photo's of you and your fiance together. Make sure you write your names, date, and location on the back of every photo. Provide two to five photo's. If you only have a single copy of the photo, then make a color copy and send that. If it is a digital photo, have it printed at a local photo store such as Walgreens (if at all possible) or if not on a high quality printer. Place photo's in a plastic bag or photo sheet and label the sheet. Note that you may not receive originals of photo's back.

It’s very important to have photos of your time spent together! Honestly, I don’t see a petition being ever being approved without any photos in your evidence of proof of an ongoing relationship...

That’s great! They need to take this off the list of K1 Visa Guide... #2
 
1. Copies of all airline boarding passes, train passes, itineraries, hotel receipts, passport stamps (make sure you can read the dates on the stamps), and other documentary evidence that you have met within the last two years. You may want to highlight or place post-it notes indicating the dates and locations on the copies (to make the adjudication easier) for the person reviewing your file. 2. Color Photo's of you and your fiance together. Make sure you write your names, date, and location on the back of every photo. Provide two to five photo's. If you only have a single copy of the photo, then make a color copy and send that. If it is a digital photo, have it printed at a local photo store such as Walgreens (if at all possible) or if not on a high quality printer. Place photo's in a plastic bag or photo sheet and label the sheet. Note that you may not receive originals of photo's back.

Me too only sent our passport photos and marriage certificate with the petition and was approved and now waiting for my interview on 16th this month

It’s very important to have photos of your time spent together! Honestly, I don’t see a petition being ever being approved without any photos in your evidence of proof of an ongoing relationship...

I am from a completely different part of the world, but when I was getting ready to move, I was an emotional mess. And I don't think having my husband there would have been helpful. I probably just would have been even more stressed, trying to make sure he was okay and not bored.
I needed my space to do what needed to be done, to go through all my belongings, to sell my things, to spend time with my friends and family, to ride around on my bike in my nice little town, to spend my last few days in my best friend's house drinking wine and talking all night. It was very hard for me to leave that life behind, and I was very emotional during those weeks. Maybe she just doesn't want you to see her like that.
Give her some space. If those 2 weeks are what she needs to get ready for your life together, it'll be worth it.

Depends on her age and if there are children.   Eventually she would qualify for benefits, currently I believe the age is 60 for those born in certain years. 
 
 https://www.ssa.gov/planners/survivors/ifyou5.html
 
https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10084.pdf
 
There are other issues relating to receiving payment outside the USA
 
https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10137.pdf

A couple of thoughts. 
1) You said there was no physical intimacy at all and you lead with the concern that you've not 'slept together' in 2 years... But my question would be why would you want to ?  If there is no emotional intimacy between you (and it sounds like there isn't) then you could get what you desire physically elsewhere.  Therefore the real concern in my opinion should be the lack of a real marriage.  You say she went home to the Philippines twice since she's been here but have you considered or taken vacations together?
 2) You seem more than willing to talk about it with her,  with a counselor with clergy etc.  but she isn't.. Perhaps it's an unfair generalization but my experience is that women from the Phlipiines (and perhaps men as well) don't generally do well talking thru such things. (culture difference coupled with insecurity)   It is extremely hard and puts them in a position of feeling very venerable and can be terrifying.  This would be even more true if she has something she is ashamed of or insecure about.  As such every attempt to 'talk about it' might be perceived by her as an attack rather than the loving gesture that you intend it to be.  
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You've said she does do things for you and that is a positive sign. She has not said no to a firmer mattress that too may be a good sign.  For sure, I think there is a good possiblity that she used you to gain status in the USA but she's got a 10 YR green card and you're still on the hook for supporting her even if she left.  She's come back (twice) from the Philippines which may or may not have been for money.  To your knowledge she's not looking to go out to bars/night clubs or browsing personals looking for someone else so while I am suspicious of her motives some of the classic signs are, apparently missing.  
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If she really did marry you for a GC then there may be some guilt associated with that which is preventing her from truly falling in love with you or hidden secrets tearing her apart that day be day by day get harder and harder to tell you.  
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My suggestion is either take a hardline and say that's it I can't do this anymore in which case your marriage is probably over and you'll never really know or double down on what you've been doing but drop the let's talk about us.  Try the let's talk about what we can do together (where would you like to see in the USA?)  Consider a couples message perhaps see if the physical intamacy issues are you or in general she doesn't want ANYONE touching her.  Set her free... Tell her you love her,  (you obviously believe you do) and that you want nothing more than for her to be happy and is there ANYTHING you can do to increase her happiness
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I know others here are saying divorce and be done with it and on the surface that certainly seems like the right answer but some of the little details like her buying you things, willing cleaning the house not generally it seems giving you a hard time.  Think if while she was in the Philippines if she had to come back for the money ?  She could have stayed out of the USA for as much as 6 months.  My thoughts are that perhaps what you said when you 'yelled' at her caused much more permanent and deeper emotional scaring then you realized and that since then she's built that narative up in her mind and amplified it.  Maybe try to just find common ground/interests even if that's playing the same games or occasionally watching Phlipiines 'SHOWTIME' together.  Consider if maybe if she won't share a bed with you if perhaps she'd share a bedroom with you in separate beds.  My point is there has to be a strong trust and emotional connection for the physical intimacy.  Either something changed when she arrived (i..e. she didn't need to be physical with you because she was in it for the greencard) or something changed emotionally (she felt vulnerable exposed and powerless and has never found the safe space she was in while in the phlippines).  Or perhaps, as scary as it sounds she was abused by someone between your being intimate with her in the Philippines and her arrival in the USA.  A counselor would be good but she's unlikely to go but perhaps you should even if by yourself.   Professional advice to you based on a greater totality of the situation is better than getting advice from strangers on the internet based on mere snippets of information.  Tell her you are going because you love her and are lost and confused about your marriage with her and since you can't discuss it with her you need help.
Good luck!  And God Bless!
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I have never seen Tampo last this long!  It took my then fiancée 6 months  to adjust coming here from the Philippines! I would straight up and ask her does she want to go home and end the marriage.  If that is what she wants, give it to her and count your losses! I hate to see when these things happen but it does occasionally. Have you tried counseling?

Hank 
 
Her family is lower middle class and her Dad worked at a large cement factory for 25 years , but, his pension will not kick in for 5 years . He does odd jobs like fare collection on Jeepney and she sends large boxes home for them to sell items. She does wash my clothes, she vacuums the house twice a week.  She does not cook much for me because I am vegetarian / vegan. She does buy me items like, bananas , muffins , surprise shirts every other week.  She has a good heart , otherwise I would have left long ago . It is mainly intimacy and conversation she avoids. She says she just feels more comfortable speaking in Tagalog. My plan is posibly personal counseling, then the purchase of a new firm organic mattress which she tried out with me ( organic because of her sensitive lungs, past hour of pneumonitis) . My first wife died from breast cancer, happily married 8 years grew apart divorced , but, she lived with me almost 5 years after divorce. Married a Columbiana who was ultra jealous , always accused me of cheating, and , did not want me to discipline my stepson ,then cheated with a guy from Colombia, then called crying one month later,that he,was abusive, marriage trust for,me was broken ,  so after 5 years I filed for divorce. I am an obstinate- determined Capricorn who wants this marriage  to work out , yet, a person has to be a fully participating spouse for a marriage to succeed. I have talked to several other ministers and they say if she is not keeping the vows then part, but, they also say be ultra loving , kind and considerate to her and she will start to blossom into loving me. I am both an optimist and realist. Your thoughtful words and analysis serve as a support aid as I decide what I need to do in coming months. That you even care in a world where people can be self absorbed and self concerned , speaks volumes to the wonderful people here. Only the best to all who read this post 

Families often see it as an investment.

I hope she is a troll too! This kind of stuff makes the whole immigration process look bad!

I hope she is a troll too! This kind of stuff makes the whole immigration process look bad!

I hope she is a troll too! This kind of stuff makes the whole immigration process look bad!

I hope she is a troll too! This kind of stuff makes the whole immigration process look bad!

I can understand why you are upset, but why the violence toward your husband?? That is not good in any relationship, no matter who the aggressor is..........

Please don't try to take the wind out of other peoples sails!!!! The questions were very legit and were only trying to get info from other March Filers! Have a stiff drink or just go back to bed!!

hsn,
This is a collaborative style website, where members are encouraged to share their experiences and vent, if necessary. Your comment was inappropriate. If you don't wish to share your experience, do not degrade others that do. This is your only warning.

Please don't try to take the wind out of other peoples sails!!!! The questions were very legit and were only trying to get info from other March Filers! Have a stiff drink or just go back to bed!!

Please don't try to take the wind out of other peoples sails!!!! The questions were very legit and were only trying to get info from other March Filers! Have a stiff drink or just go back to bed!!

It doesn't matter to me what others think. I have been married to my beautiful Filipina 4 years today........ Life is great!!!!!!!

It doesn't matter to me what others think. I have been married to my beautiful Filipina 4 years today........ Life is great!!!!!!!