What are your 'friends' saying?

[spikedog 2]

I posted a couple of days ago about my age difference. Thanks BTW about the info.

I would like to ask members here (particularly the guys) what are some of the most outrageous comments that you have received after others found out about your foreign fiance'? I am continuing to hear uninformed options and now I am actually enjoying the crazy questions and advise. I think many people think that all you have to do is buy her a plane ticket and marry her when she arrives. Viola' she is a fully-legal US citizen. I wish it were that easy!

Here are some of my favorites:

1. She only wants a green card.

1a. She only wants to come to the US and become a citizen.

1b. She will run off and become a citizen as soon as she arrives.

2. Did you buy a child bride? (20 year age diff).

3. What don't you like American women.

4. Where is she going to live when she gets here? (with me of course)

5. Don't rush into marriage when she gets here -- give it about 6 months to see if you like her. (we are doing a K1)

I have been listening to this stuff for about 6 months now and would like to share.

Jim

[B_J 2,752]

I posted a couple of days ago about my age difference. Thanks BTW about the info.

I would like to ask members here (particularly the guys) what are some of the most outrageous comments that you have received after others found out about your foreign fiance'? I am continuing to hear uninformed options and now I am actually enjoying the crazy questions and advise. I think many people think that all you have to do is buy her a plane ticket and marry her when she arrives. Viola' she is a fully-legal US citizen. I wish it were that easy!

Here are some of my favorites:

1. She only wants a green card.

1a. She only wants to come to the US and become a citizen.

1b. She will run off and become a citizen as soon as she arrives.

2. Did you buy a child bride? (20 year age diff).

3. What don't you like American women.

4. Where is she going to live when she gets here? (with me of course)

5. Don't rush into marriage when she gets here -- give it about 6 months to see if you like her. (we are doing a K1)

I have been listening to this stuff for about 6 months now and would like to share.

Jim

Most people who know me are just really surprised I'm getting married.

I have had a few comments about being a cradle robber; but I've decided to just ignore that. We have a 20+ year age difference, so I'm also expecting stares when strangers see us together.

A lot of people were confused that she didn't just fly back with me when I went to see her last summer. People really don't understand the whole visa process. Of course, neither did I before I started this.

The most important thing, to me, is that my family has talked to her online in facebook and skype and they all really like her. She won them over just like she won me over. The people who really matter to me are just happy for me. The others, well, I don't care that much what they say.

[wissnan4ever 10]

I posted a couple of days ago about my age difference. Thanks BTW about the info.

I would like to ask members here (particularly the guys) what are some of the most outrageous comments that you have received after others found out about your foreign fiance'? I am continuing to hear uninformed options and now I am actually enjoying the crazy questions and advise. I think many people think that all you have to do is buy her a plane ticket and marry her when she arrives. Viola' she is a fully-legal US citizen. I wish it were that easy!

Here are some of my favorites:

1. She only wants a green card.

1a. She only wants to come to the US and become a citizen.

1b. She will run off and become a citizen as soon as she arrives.

2. Did you buy a child bride? (20 year age diff).

3. What don't you like American women.

4. Where is she going to live when she gets here? (with me of course)

5. Don't rush into marriage when she gets here -- give it about 6 months to see if you like her. (we are doing a K1)

I have been listening to this stuff for about 6 months now and would like to share.

Jim

I'm not a male but I have heard

1.Be careful he might just want his green card

2.He might come over here and pay you for the process and than leave

Thats about the top two

3.oh and aren't you scared?

But hey it is what it is.

I love him and I feel it in my gut he is the one I want to be with and my father and mother accepts him as well as my father has met him in person. That was enough for me my dad approved so who cares what anybody else says.

Edited June 29, 2011 by wissnan4ever

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

Of course, we all have heard those statements, either from an ex (who is jealous, most likely), a family member or friend who thinks you are making a mistake (perhaps because they don't "approve" of marrying a foreigner), or just a co-worker who likes to make comments. I get it all the time from my buddies at work, and it's mostly in jest, but perhaps somewhat from envy? IDK... and truthfully, I IDC. Their opinion isn't what made me successful in life, mine is! (we have a 19 year age difference, BTW. And at first it bothered me a little, but she and her family and my other Pinoy friends have assured me it's no big deal in the Filipino culture... it's the love that matters).

And there is the advantage that most women are looking for maturity, and it's rare to find a guy close to their age (under 30, especially) who is very mature.

The advice on not rushing into marriage is sound advice, at ANY age. Unfortunately, we are limited to 90 days on a K1, nothing we can do about that. And when I am asked about "not liking American women", my response is... while I have nothing against them, I believe they are raised in a culture that does not foster showing love and care for their man like other cultures do. OTOH, I am not used to the extreme jealousy that (it seems) most Pinays exhibit, but so do a lot of women of Hispanic descent. My ex was not jealous at all, but at the same time, she did not enjoy cooking for me, or reminding me to "take your lunch", or any number of the sweet things my loving Pinay does now. And yes, I am loving the extra attention! I am a giving person, and now I am able to get back much of what I gave over the years without reciprocity.

As to the green card issue, that has never came up in our conversations, cuz she wants to go wherever I go, and we probably won't be in the US long enough for her to get a GC. Just being together is all we ask for. And for those that think it is easy to marry a foreigner, especially a Filipina... wow. Ignorance is bliss, eh?

[Psoas10 17]

My friends were all happy for me. In fact that is how I met my wife. Her cousin is married to my friends cousin. The biggest question was when she was coming so we can throw a big party. I guess when most of my friends are Filipino it is different. We don't have a big age difference and I am Asian, so here in Hawaii mixed Asian couples is pretty common. I would imagine in the mainland, mixed couples with big age gaps could be a problem. I would just tell them F-off, well maybe not so rudely.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

My mom was the only one who made a comment about how I was not having much trouble, "...raising a wife."

[one...two...tree 2,762]

1. She only wants a green card.

1a. She only wants to come to the US and become a citizen.

1b. She will run off and become a citizen as soon as she arrives.

2. Did you buy a child bride? (20 year age diff).

3. What don't you like American women.

4. Where is she going to live when she gets here? (with me of course)

5. Don't rush into marriage when she gets here -- give it about 6 months to see if you like her. (we are doing a K1)

It comes with the territory when marrying a much younger woman from a Third World country that you initially met online and quickly got engaged to compared to most couples in the states who typically take a lot longer to get engaged. Granted, there's really no other way for the two of you to live together short of the K1 or marrying her outright. The reality is, it looks suspicious from the outside and all you can do is take it on the chin and hope that your future marriage will prove them all wrong. Statistically, they do have many examples that support those claims.

Edited June 30, 2011 by 8TBVBN

[sjr09 155]

My friends were all happy for me. In fact that is how I met my wife. Her cousin is married to my friends cousin. The biggest question was when she was coming so we can throw a big party. I guess when most of my friends are Filipino it is different. We don't have a big age difference and I am Asian, so here in Hawaii mixed Asian couples is pretty common. I would imagine in the mainland, mixed couples with big age gaps could be a problem. I would just tell them F-off, well maybe not so rudely.

Perhaps it is mainland, I have not experience any of the comments members have posted.

[southcalhog 43]

I posted a couple of days ago about my age difference. Thanks BTW about the info.

I would like to ask members here (particularly the guys) what are some of the most outrageous comments that you have received after others found out about your foreign fiance'? I am continuing to hear uninformed options and now I am actually enjoying the crazy questions and advise. I think many people think that all you have to do is buy her a plane ticket and marry her when she arrives. Viola' she is a fully-legal US citizen. I wish it were that easy!

Here are some of my favorites:

1. She only wants a green card.

1a. She only wants to come to the US and become a citizen.

1b. She will run off and become a citizen as soon as she arrives.

2. Did you buy a child bride? (20 year age diff).

3. What don't you like American women.

4. Where is she going to live when she gets here? (with me of course)

5. Don't rush into marriage when she gets here -- give it about 6 months to see if you like her. (we are doing a K1)

I have been listening to this stuff for about 6 months now and would like to share.

Jim

Spikedog I second that!:thumbs:I couldnt have said it better.Some friends are unsure or unknowing about the Whole process and it looks to them that she is taking advantage of me like You posted here.I ignore them,the ones who dont give me positive Feedback isnt Friends anyway! I an doing what I want to do. Like my Dad use to always say......the 3 Fs......!!! if U dont do either of those, then forget YOU!

[vertman 4]

Most people who know me are just really surprised I'm getting married.

I have had a few comments about being a cradle robber; but I've decided to just ignore that. We have a 20+ year age difference, so I'm also expecting stares when strangers see us together.

A lot of people were confused that she didn't just fly back with me when I went to see her last summer. People really don't understand the whole visa process. Of course, neither did I before I started this.

The most important thing, to me, is that my family has talked to her online in facebook and skype and they all really like her. She won them over just like she won me over. The people who really matter to me are just happy for me. The others, well, I don't care that much what they say.

Yep, yep ... heard it all.

[Messybrownhair 251]

Just that we are very lucky to have found each other

No real stereotypes for us.. we are both the same age, we met in school, we both have the same education level, we've met each other's friends and families and everyone is just really happy for us! Even if we had not done the k1, I would have been here by this time anyway on a student visa. (I am going to grad school this fall and I applied as an intl student last year. When I got accepted I just told the school not to issue me an 1-20 because I don't need to pursue a student visa anymore since I was already here on a k1). Our original plan was that I would come on a student visa and we'd get married while I was studying which is perfectly legal, but with his upcoming deployment, I felt like it would take too long and we really wanted to be together right away!

However, some of his military buddies do tease him, and his sergeant once commented that my hubby needs to beware of asians, because they make look 20, but are really 50! I thought that was really funny! It's true though, asians age really well Alot of his sergeants are married to Filipinas too so I guess him marrying me wasn't really seen as weird

[JoBri 545]

When people heard we met on the internet, they would go "ohh..." as if I was so gullible and it would never be real.

I overheard someone telling someone else behind my back "It will never work out...".

Those are the two big things...

Here we are now, married 3 years and 6 months. She has been here a little over 2 years. Our baby is 1 year old in July. I guess I can just smile and know that those people didnt have the heart or faith in our relationship I had, and that they werent the one walking hand in hand with God and talking over the relationship.

I wish I could find all those people again and show them the wonderful family I have here.

Brian, Josephine and Shen in Tennessee

[JoBri 545]

The people who really matter to me are just happy for me. The others, well, I don't care that much what they say.

This was my same attitude that I chose to have.

[TeddyHoney 42]

When people heard we met on the internet, they would go "ohh..." as if I was so gullible and it would never be real.

I overheard someone telling someone else behind my back "It will never work out...".

Those are the two big things...

Here we are now, married 3 years and 6 months. She has been here a little over 2 years. Our baby is 1 year old in July. I guess I can just smile and know that those people didnt have the heart or faith in our relationship I had, and that they werent the one walking hand in hand with God and talking over the relationship.

I wish I could find all those people again and show them the wonderful family I have here.

Brian, Josephine and Shen in Tennessee

An early HAPPY BIRTHDAY!, to the baby!

[TeddyHoney 42]

Its funny cuz all my current friends are Filipino and Filipino/American mixed couples and families I met after my first Filipina wife got here. I never knew there were so many Filipinos in the community I live in, and I had lived here at that time for 15 years. But i also wasn't paying any attention before my wife came. And when she did it was like a Filipino community just sprang up around me over night! It was great for my ex's adjustment. I was 35 then and she was 23 and I had already been away from all my old school friends for some time even though we still made contact, even now. My ex has moved out of state since our divorce so all our old friends are kinda like my friends now and they are happy that I am marrying again and to another Filipina. Since my ex and I were both so much younger back when we married and only 12 years difference I don't remember any comments made about that. I don't ever remember even feeling like she was that much younger than me. My current fiancee is also just 12 years younger and again its doesn't seem like it.