Marriage failing - wife won't attend AOS interview

[Jaseball 0]

There seems to be a tendency for people on this board to side with an OP who posts a short sob story and makes claims with very little details.

We have no idea if what someone posts is true or not. In this case this poster could be a cheater who really did use someone for a visa, got caught, and now they want advice on how to adjust.

The facts are simple. The relationship failed. The USC refuses to go to AOS and probably should call USCIS and state the current nature of the relationship and remove her support.

The OP, if they are making $90K+ is a professional in a skilled job and should be able to get a work visa.

Or they can make the claim the relationship was real, but abusive and they would like to adjust status on their own.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

There seems to be a tendency for people on this board to side with an OP who posts a short sob story and makes claims with very little details.

We have no idea if what someone posts is true or not. In this case this poster could be a cheater who really did use someone for a visa, got caught, and now they want advice on how to adjust.

The facts are simple. The relationship failed. The USC refuses to go to AOS and probably should call USCIS and state the current nature of the relationship and remove her support.

The OP, if they are making $90K+ is a professional in a skilled job and should be able to get a work visa.

Or they can make the claim the relationship was real, but abusive and they would like to adjust status on their own.

Hmmm. Not sure I agree with that. I know contractors and carpenters that make 90K, but they certainly would not qualify for a work visa.

[miles 0]

I feel sad for you .All I can say is try to reach the home page of U.S Immigration services and you will find the information for your situation now. or try to gather advice from lawyers or close freinds. Seek for a help- before doing some actions. I just wish you will find the right answer for your questions.

[jandalg 0]

If your wife makes $12,000.00, you have no kids (I assume), then clear out our account and valuables when she least expects it and apply for a divorce... she may come around and realize what she had.

[Lovetoteach 53]

I'm sorry you are in this situation. A similar thing happened to me.

I really do hope you can both work it out.

Shona

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Best of luck to you and keep strong

[CountryBoy 0]

OP,

Thanks for sharing your experience with us.

I am of the opinion that if you make a marriage last because there is a true/solid loved shared between you, then you are doing the honorable thing.

But ..

If you believe someone that truly loves you would do what your wife is doing to you, then your love is a blind / one sided love.

That being said ..

According to your account of the situation, you did enter into the marriage in good faith. Although your wife systematically alienated all of your friends in the U.K. you believed that your marriage would last thus you believe that you entered the U.S. with good faith on your K-Visa.

I won't tell you what is the right thing, or the smart thing to do, but you need to be happy with your life. If you are truly honest to yourself in this situation you need to consider what you are asking in the original post.

Is staying in the marriage because you want to adjust status fair to either you or your wife? If you stay just long enough to adjust status, is it legal as far as Immigration laws go?

You obviosly aren't happy with your life now. Would you be happy back with your friends in the U.K.?

And finally, why is it so important that you stay in a go-nowhere relationship with a person that keeps you beat to the ground just to receive a conditional 2 year card when you have so many more legs of your journey to complete and you could go home and be happy tomorrow?

CB

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

our AOS interview on the 7th Nov.

Well its Nov 9th, so did you go with your wife or alone to the interview? Give us an update of what the outcome was. Hope it was positive.

[Nell 0]

I am sorry that you are having such difficulty. The bottom line is that you need something. You have to make the decision that you somewhat as my fahter would say "Suck salt on a wooden spoon", do must what you must to get what you want (Morally that is). Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off your goal. Do everything that you have to do, go to an immigration lawyer, speak to her, try to find a medium, there is one. Think positive your tables would turn soon. Your interview date is not far away, and the sacrifices you make now are only temporary. The things you deal with now are small, compare to what this card opens up to you. Dont get me wrong I am not telling to sell your soul, but only you knows what it is worth to you. I wish you all the best.

[Ban Hammer 12,863]

If your wife makes $12,000.00, you have no kids (I assume), then clear out our account and valuables when she least expects it and apply for a divorce... she may come around and realize what she had.

that would be pretty low, don't you think? if she makes only 1k a month just how would she pay any bills?

[ninjarocket 1]

sounds like going back to the UK would actually be the best idea: afterall you have friends there and none in the US according to what you say: certainly doesn't sound like your wife is going to help you out with the AOS interview, so you would be forced to become an illegal immigrant

the only way around this would be for you to get your employer to file for a H1-B visa: if they're not familiar with the paperwork you would have to do everything yourself or hire a lawyer: if you plan to do that, it would be best to forget the AOS interview: depends on your line of employment whether you would be eligible for a H1-B visa

[paptee 0]

Best of luck to you and keep strong

keep post what u deceide to do ur in my prayers

[pushbrk 12,160]

I should add that I didn't mean to imply you can adjust status this way. You can't go to the interview alone and claim that your wife is happy to support you. Your K3 visa is still valid and you'd be able to stay until it expired and try to work out something with your employer in the next year.

He can stay until his I-94 expires, not until his visa expires. The dates may be close together but could be as far apart as nearly two years. The legal status is derived from the I-94, not the visa.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

I should add that I didn't mean to imply you can adjust status this way. You can't go to the interview alone and claim that your wife is happy to support you. Your K3 visa is still valid and you'd be able to stay until it expired and try to work out something with your employer in the next year.

He can stay until his I-94 expires, not until his visa expires. The dates may be close together but could be as far apart as nearly two years. The legal status is derived from the I-94, not the visa.

Right, the visa is the entry document. The I-94 indicates the period of "authorised stay".

[Rico21 0]

our AOS interview on the 7th Nov.

Well its Nov 9th, so did you go with your wife or alone to the interview? Give us an update of what the outcome was. Hope it was positive.

Hi Folks,

She did finally come with me and we were approved for the visa. It actually went really smoothly. Our relationship has also actually improved somewhat since my original post and we've made a couple of major changes that appear to be working. I do love my wife very much and I trust that she does love me. We've had more than our fair share of problems and it's been hard to balance the bad with the good sometimes however now that we have the AOS out of the way I think this may perhaps take some pressure off our relationship... we'll see, I do feel like I've done all the changing and accepting so far so now it's down to her, and I've told her as much. I actually have managed to have a frank and open converstation with her for the first time in months since the AOS and that has really helped.

To those that suggested jacking it all in and going back to the UK, well this is not my style - I firmly believe that you work for what you get and sometimes it's hard, when you fight for something you often get more than you were looking for but it often takes a little longer. It's amazing what you don't get if you don't try.... right now I feel this is the right thing to do, my career and life is now over here and now that the threat of loss of visa has been removed I think I can concentrate on what the right course of action is for me with regard to my relationship. Thanks to all those that wrote kind words !

R