Visiting Fiancé in homophobic country

[PK & S 2]

hello all,

 

i was just seeking some advice or experience from others who have been in this situation. my fiancé and i are gay and they currently live in a country that is homophobic. i have a trip in march scheduled to visit for two weeks. i can just say i’m visiting a friend when going through customs and staying at their place. however, we are planning for me to stay there for 3 months end of this year, trying to wait out some of this long waiting approval process since their country is apart of the esta program, but i’m nervous about them denying such a long visit since it’s not usual to visit “a friend” for so long. 

 

im hoping that there is someone out there who can share some experience or advice about traveling to visit your fiancé while they live in a homophobic country. 

[TBoneTX 43,433]

3 minutes ago, PK & S said:

i can just say i’m visiting a friend when going through customs and staying at their place.

This.

4 minutes ago, PK & S said:

however, we are planning for me to stay there for 3 months end of this year

"I'm visiting a friend and plan to spend time exploring the country as a tourist."

5 minutes ago, PK & S said:

advice about traveling to visit your fiancé while they live in a homophobic country

1.  Put up with the conditions in favor of learning more about how the fiancée lives

2.  Meet in a different country, rather than in the one that upsets you

3.  Let your fears or concerns keep you from visiting

4.  Other common-sense ways that come to mind regarding how to handle things

[MonkeyDan 27]

Whenever I visit my fiancé (same sex also) in Turkey (also homophobic), I never had any issues.  I usually go for 3-4 weeks at a time.  They simply ask me the purpose of my visit and I say "visit".  They never have asked me who I am visiting or where I am staying.  The US passport is very strong, so they usually don't question Americans that in depth.  Just my 2 cents.

[TBoneTX 43,433]

Your questions would seem to be more relevant to an attempted visit by your fiancée to you in the U.S., even on ESTA.  As the poster above suggests, you may be worrying about straw dogs.

[PK & S 2]

55 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

This.

"I'm visiting a friend and plan to spend time exploring the country as a tourist."

1.  Put up with the conditions in favor of learning more about how the fiancée lives

2.  Meet in a different country, rather than in the one that upsets you

3.  Let your fears or concerns keep you from visiting

4.  Other common-sense ways that come to mind regarding how to handle things

thank you very much! i very much want to spend more time with them and learn more about their culture and spend time with their family as well. your advice has helped calmed some anxiety in be about being denied entry. thank you again 

[PK & S 2]

34 minutes ago, MonkeyDan said:

Whenever I visit my fiancé (same sex also) in Turkey (also homophobic), I never had any issues.  I usually go for 3-4 weeks at a time.  They simply ask me the purpose of my visit and I say "visit".  They never have asked me who I am visiting or where I am staying.  The US passport is very strong, so they usually don't question Americans that in depth.  Just my 2 cents.

thank you so much. i had some anxiety at being denied entry so this helps a lot. thank you!

[TBoneTX 43,433]

Check to see (or someone here can answer) whether you need a Schengen visa to enter Poland or if your U.S. passport alone will suffice.

[PK & S 2]

1 hour ago, TBoneTX said:

Check to see (or someone here can answer) whether you need a Schengen visa to enter Poland or if your U.S. passport alone will suffice.

from the research my fiancé and i have done i only need my passport to enter and stay up to 90 days

[SalishSea 16,918]

6 hours ago, PK & S said:

from the research my fiancé and i have done i only need my passport to enter and stay up to 90 days

I really do not think you will have problems in Poland.   It is a developed country and part of the EU.   Homophobic attitudes do not necessarily translate into policy.   Enjoy your trip!

[myohmyohmy 15]

On 1/25/2023 at 6:33 PM, PK & S said:

from the research my fiancé and i have done i only need my passport to enter and stay up to 90 days

If that's true you have nothing to worry about, they don't care.  I go visit my same sex fiance in El Salvador and they never ask, just ask where you're staying.  They really don't care who it is and if you say friend that's fine, people all the time go to visit friends and stay with them. I think they have bigger issues than same sex relationships.

[Lynxyonok 316]

On 1/25/2023 at 3:55 PM, PK & S said:

hello all,

 

i was just seeking some advice or experience from others who have been in this situation. my fiancé and i are gay and they currently live in a country that is homophobic. i have a trip in march scheduled to visit for two weeks. i can just say i’m visiting a friend when going through customs and staying at their place. however, we are planning for me to stay there for 3 months end of this year, trying to wait out some of this long waiting approval process since their country is apart of the esta program, but i’m nervous about them denying such a long visit since it’s not usual to visit “a friend” for so long. 

 

im hoping that there is someone out there who can share some experience or advice about traveling to visit your fiancé while they live in a homophobic country. 

First of all, it's not what one does in the bedroom, it's what one does on the street. As long as your mutual behavior in public is no different than that of two girlfriends simply pairing up for safety, you should be fine in any Eastern European country.

 

I was given a brilliant advice on a different forum for a different reason, but I will share it with you.

 

Believe in your trip.

 

As of this moment, you're no longer in a same-gender relationship. You're an avid student of history and culture. You want to see Krakow, the ancient capital of Poland. You want to see Auschwitz, because you heard so much about that WW2 prison camp in school. You want to see the historic castles - both Polish and Teuton ones.

 

Create a believable itinerary, mention that you happened to find a like-minded student of history, and you have nothing to fear.

 

:D

[PK & S 2]

11 hours ago, Lynxyonok said:

First of all, it's not what one does in the bedroom, it's what one does on the street. As long as your mutual behavior in public is no different than that of two girlfriends simply pairing up for safety, you should be fine in any Eastern European country.

 

I was given a brilliant advice on a different forum for a different reason, but I will share it with you.

 

Believe in your trip.

 

As of this moment, you're no longer in a same-gender relationship. You're an avid student of history and culture. You want to see Krakow, the ancient capital of Poland. You want to see Auschwitz, because you heard so much about that WW2 prison camp in school. You want to see the historic castles - both Polish and Teuton ones.

 

Create a believable itinerary, mention that you happened to find a like-minded student of history, and you have nothing to fear.

 

thank you for this advice! we definitely won’t be doing tons of pda in public so i’m sure nobody would suspect anything especially when we’re in a group of my fiancés friend. 

it will not be hard to pretend to be interested in history and culture since i definitely am interested in those things. 

[TreeGreen 5]

You have an American passport, not a criminal, just put visiting friends.  Outside of say Yemen and a few other countries you will be fine. American LGB peeps travel all over the world.