I (29, Slovakia) would like to visit my boyfriend (44) in the US - having no strong ties in my country, is there any chance?

[Riava 1]

After the borders open (summer? fall? later?), I (29yo, Slovakia) would like to visit my boyfriend (44yo, US citizen) in the US, for 2-3 months, living at his house.

However, I am very anxious about being denied entry at the borders, since I do not have “strong ties” to my country.

Here are some further details about our situation:

• We met last year on a philosophy forum. We declared our feelings for each other in January, and we’ve been long distance since. We never met each other in person. Since our first meeting, we have exchanged hundreds of pages of emails, and spent dozens of hours on video calls. We both have serious intentions.

• I am currently a student, but by the time of my visit, I will have finished my degree. My thesis is already written, the final exams take place in May. Concurrently, I’m also finishing a pedagogical minimum course on the same university (in Bratislava) the exams taking place later - late summer or maybe next year (it depends; maybe only after I come back from the US).

• I am unemployed (or rather, I only work a few hours a week). My intent is to get a job after I finish school, and after my visit to the US.

• I don’t have any dependents.

• I don’t own any property and I live with my parents, who support me. They will provide for all the expenses I need for traveling and for my stay in the US. I have my own bank account ‒ however, it’s almost empty, because I send all the money I earn (scholarship etc.) to my parents.

• I do not really seek to do much tourism while in the US. I want to disclose my intent for visiting—that is, meeting and spending time with my boyfriend—on my visa application/during the visa interview, since I want to prevent a situation where this fact would be revealed in a more anxiety-inducing manner, like during an interview at the borders.

• If my visit goes well and we decide to stay together, a likely option is that he’ll come live with me to Slovakia after my visit (that is, this year), and that we’ll file for fiancé/spousal visa from here. We would spend the waiting period living together in Slovakia. So if the officer asks whether I have an intent to marry, or to immigrate to/live in the US, I can only truthfully say that I do - although obviously not while on my tourist visa! But it would be a lie to say "we do not currently have a plan to marry or for me to (legally) immigrate to the US". I worry they would simply read this as "she wants to overstay her visa". But that is actually my best reason for not overstaying my visa, since we want to do it properly, and don't want to risk any complications!

• I have pretty bad anxiety sometimes, and I am not very socially adept. I am terrified of getting grilled at the borders, and breaking down, and the officers reading this as a proof that I have fraudulent intent. And I also worry I could say something with the intention of being truthful (e.g. that we do have serious intentions) that would get misconstrued.

• I would have a prepaid return ticket.

Considering these facts:

• Is it worth it to give the visit a try, or do you think my chances of not getting denied entry are slim?

• If there is a good chance: Would you recommend I get a tourist visa (B1/B2), or is it safe to use the visa waiver program?

  • What is the likelihood that I get denied entry at the borders using the visa waiver program?

  • What is the likelihood that I get denied entry at the borders on a tourist visa?

• How much would it help our situation if I postponed my final exams/graduation until next year? Would this constitute “strong ties”?

• Is there anything else I can do to improve my chances of being allowed to visit the US? A written statement from my family? More money on my personal bank account? A motivation letter, explaining our plans in detail??

• Perhaps: I need some expensive dental work done later this year. I couldn’t afford this in the US. Would it be helpful to get a signed document from my dentist testifying that I’m about to undergo this treatment, a further proof of “strong ties”? (I'm pretty desperate here.)

Thank you very much for any information!!

[Skyman 327]

I think he has a lot better chance to visit you than you do of visiting him.  And since you don't plan a lot of tourism in the US, maybe that's the best option.

[SusieQQQ 11,587]

If you are eligible  to use visa waiver program, you should. 

[ineedadisplayname 505]

Why start with a 3 months visit? If this is your first time in the US  and meeting him for the first time, go for a more normally accepted 2-3 weeks and most likely you won't have a problem at the border. Had a friend come over in 2018 (first time US traveler) for 2 months and while she was not in secondary the agent asked her questions and doubted the legitimacy of her visit and at one point she was able to show them her UK insurance/work permit i guess, don't remember exactly what card it was, but it proved that she works in the UK even tho she took off 2 months time.

 

When I was visiting for 20 days at a time, had not issues, told them visiting and the agent asked about my return flight date and that was it.

Edited April 2, 2021 by ineedadisplayname

[Carlas10 4]

My advice, have him come visit you first. Get to know him face to face  before you stay in his house for 3 months. He should absolutely meet your parents and friends so they know you will be in safe hands when you are ready to visit the states. Also, he’s much older than you so why would your parents have to finance the trip. You two are the ones in love, make sure your not giving yourself away so easy. He should be able to pay for your flight if you do choose to come to the states. He needs to show his intention and ability to support you for a little while. Believe me, you start paying for everything you will feel like you were being taken advantage of if it doesn’t work out. 

[aaron2020 11,651]

If you can use the VWP, then do that.

If you apply for a B-2 visitor visa and get deny, then you would lose your VWP privileges as well.