"Friends"

[VetsWife328 7]

So I called my man tonight and we got to talking about his so called "freinds" that hid important Court Papers from him so he never knew about a Hearing that was scheduled for April regarding his divorce.....due to him not knowing about that Hearing he of course didn't show up in court....so his divorce was dismissed in WA..........that not being enough,they also took him aside and told him that all I want from him is a Green Card

Now at that point in time,my man was stressed and overwhelmed by being away from me.The divorce didn't move on and he had a huge amount of stress with the Company he worked for.............in other words-we had problems already and he no longer knew whether he wanted to stay with me since there was (and still is) no telling how much longer the divorce would take and then the 6+ months for the visa process..............

I had booked a flight for April 18th to spend a week with him after being seperated for more than 6 months,his "friends" talked him into not quitting his job (and starting at the new company he works for now) in May.......So I had to cancel my flight and lost 700$ .(Him being a Trucker,he wouldn't have been home that week I would have been there.......)

Can someone explain to me how "friends" can do that to you??????

I have never done anything to them..........I even paid them for letting me and my son stay there in September last year.........was cleaning their mess of a house and babysitted their kids for free............

Thank God my man has went back to beinghimself (after finally leaving the company he was working for and that stress being taken off his shoulders plus getting paid 1/3 more than at the other company),and now realized that his "friends" fed him a bunch of bs.

I TRULY and honestly LOVE James.I would NEVER use him for anything and have asked him several times to come back to Geramny,but since he doesn't speak the language and doesn't like it here we agreed on me and my son moving to the US instead of him coming back.I always said I will pay for all Immigration expanses for my son and me myself,never asked James for a dime,helped him out by sending hundreds of $ to him when he was unemployed last year...........and much more stuff.......

WHY are people thinking this way?????????

Yeah I like the USA and a lot of things are better there then here,but there's also a lot thats better here then it is in the US.........I will leave everything behind to be with the man I love.My family,my friends,my apartment,most of my stuff,my son will have to leave everything he grew up with for the past 6 years........

Would someone really do that for a Green Card??????????

Thank God my Fiances family doesn't share his "friends" opinion........and more than anything,THANK GOD he knows me better than that...........

Still it makes me so sad that someone can think that way of me and my motives.........

Nat

[L_n_O 3]

are his 'friends' a mature bunch? cuz it doesn't sound like they are..

My fiance grew out of his 'friends' and their drunken antics in the last few years... it just takes more time for some than others...

good luck

you're in my thoughts

[Ban Hammer 14,467]

his friends need to get a life and stay outta yours.

and your man needs to get new friends.

[reeses16 8]

Sorry you had to go through all of this. I think whenever there is a difference in citizenship some people assume its all about getting a green card. One thing I have found in talking other people, is that they often assume that marriage = us citizenship. They don't realize that a green card is different than citizenship and requires a separate process. People aren't very understanding of the process. My grandparents keep asking when my fiance is going to get a job in the US; he isn't even here yet! I have explained the EAD to them in plain simple terms no less than 3 times-but all they see is a grown man with no job-living with me, forget the fact he'd be my husband. In short, despite having more information some people never change their view of a situation.

I think its okay for family and real friends to express concerns about their loved ones being taken advantage by a non-USC, after all it happens. But it should be expressed and then everyone needs to move on, no harrassement and definitely no interfering the the relationship and immigration process. I think people also forget that our signficant others are giving up their entire lives to be with us. Some have to change careers and many literally leave behind everything that has been familar to them.

Hope things get better soon.

-DA

[MichelleandCraig 1]

They sound really, *really* immature. All in all, Nat, I know it hurts...but who really cares what they think? Especially if your guy is ignoring them...you know? Easier said than done sometimes, but just try to ignore them. In the grand scheme of things, they're really nothing in your life, so their opinions count for nil. M.

[almaty 19]

with friends like that.... a cluster of chopf##ks

[Karen_L 1]

I'm sorry this is happening to you. There are always people -- parents, siblings, friends, whomever -- who think they know your business better than you do and they will ALWAYS give their opinions ESP. if it involves a relationship of some kind. I think everyone here, at some point, has had someone tell them that their relationship is doomed and all the fiance' wants is a greencard, the relationship isn't worth all the trouble, etc, etc.

There is a difference between sharing a legitimate concern -- i.e. be careful you don't get hurt, a lot of people are desperate to get into the US -- and someone directly trying to hurt you/the relationship/sabotaging your life, either with vicious commens or by actually interfering in things.

Is your fiance' furious at these so-called friends for hiding those documents? He really should be because that is seriously, seriously unacceptable and they had no right to do that, even if they think he's making the biggest mistake of his life.

[msu17 0]

That SUCKS!!! Its one thing to express concern, especially if they hadn't met you yet, but to actually prevent him from recieving important papers is just ridiculous! My policy is if after meeting my fiance (who is from the UK, not a high fraud country) and they still bring up the "just marrying me for a greencard" BS they are cut outta my life. I know its harsh, but if you cant support my fiance and me (or express legitimate concerns at least), then you dont need to be my friend.

[VetsWife328 7]

The sad thing is they DO know me (well obviously not KNOW me but you know what I mean).

I spent a months at their house with my man last year.

And yeah he now finally see's behind their friendly mask,especially since the Court Papers were kept from him,she didn't tell him about the Hearing though she KNEW about it (because I had talked to her about it,saw it online on the case docket,but at that point he already refused to speak to me....so I couldn't tell him).

James and I have talked about them very openly last night and he finally realized that they went way too far and that they not only talk about me behind my back but also talk him down ..........There's many pieces that just don't fit into the "friend" picture and the conversation last night has ended with our decision not to move to WA (where they are) but to Minnesota where his family lives.

His family is great,they never liked his freinds in the first place and have warned me quite some time ago.........I just couldn't imagine ppl doing stuff like that on purpose to destroy a relationship.......

Not only did they hurt me and my little boy,they hurt my Fiance........I can't begin to imagine how he must have felt when they told him their opinion about me and my reasons for being with him.He really did trust them ppl and saw them as part of his family..........

But at least he was listening to his HEART instead of listening to them.

James has been through a lot of pain in his life and it makes me very sad that ppl he trusted with his life do that to him.

But like I said,things between him and me are fine and we wont have to worry about them anymore since as I said we will be moving to Minnesota,far far away from them.

Thanks to everybody for your sympathy! I wish everyone would first thin and then speak.

There are ppl that will marry to get their ticket to living in the USA but I think the majority of ppl going through this nerve wrecking process are doing it for LOVE.

I couldn't care less where I live as long as my James is with me.

Nat

[L_n_O 3]

This female friend that kept the court papers from him... ever consider the fact that maybe she has a thing for him (even if she HAS a boyfriend)? Trust me, crazier things have happened... (to me at least)

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

go to the PITTY party thread!

[jundp 191]

Nat,

I am so sorry to hear this. It really sucks that some people can be so cruel, especially when they really don't know what they are talking about. I had a "friend" from work ask me if P was marrying me "for the right reasons." I was like "uh, what are the wrong reasons?" Does she think he just wants a green card? He had one when he was younger and the ONLY reason he's moving to America instead of me moving to Germany is because I have younger children and cannot legally take them out of the country now.

At least you and your fiance have talked and worked out the issues. You don't need to justify yourself or your relationship to anyone but each other (and your families, but even then....).

Good luck and blessings to both of you. I promise not all Washingtonians are that bad!!!!

[simple_male 1]

I am sorry to hear your story. If your man love you, then he won't listen to his "friends." Your husband should take care of his divorce as soon as possible.

[Jackie&Yosdani 0]

I'm really sorry that all this is happening to you...

It's very hard when you are apart from each other so long,.. why dont you try flying down to the States for a few days..

[VetsWife328 7]

Thanks to all of you!

No that female friend is married to Jim's (former) best friend and has no intensions of doing anything (sexually) with my man.To her he's a low life...........But that would be a whole other story.

Yeah Jim and I have worked things out and as I said with everything that happened in the passed 3 months he now finally see's the truth.It took him a while,which I think is normal considering that those ppl were his BEST FRIENDS and what they did to s is just unbelievable.I couldn't belive it myself at first but unfortunatley things are the way they are and they have seriously tried to break us up for good....

Jim's divorce is being done in VA now.His soon to be ex lives there and she took a lawyer,so it should be done soon.nd I will fly to the US and go on the road with him as soon as the divorce is done.We will also FINALLY put our i 129 in then.

Again thanks to all of you

Nat