Shades of 50: how the midlife woman went from invisible to the main event

[Boiler 45,670]

https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2020/mar/21/shades-of-50-how-the-midlife-woman-went-from-invisible-to-the-main-event

 

With all the recent negativity I thought it would be good to have a more positive post.

 

Cultural underdogs since for ever, midlife women are suddenly scene-stealers. At Paris fashion week last month, Helena Christensen (51) starred in the Balmain show, while Yolanda Hadid (56) joined her daughters Bella and Gigi on the catwalk at Off-White. When Jennifer Aniston appeared on the cover of Interview magazine for her 51st birthday, it was her bottom-half pairing of over-the-knee Celine leather boots and Alaïa knickers that made headlines, rather than anything she said. Last month, Lopez joined forces with Shakira – a mere baby at 43 – for a Super Bowl performance that ripped up the rulebook about what an on-stage duet looks like at their age. Instead of matronly gowns, sturdy chignons and stately ballad-singing, think peephole leathers and choreography involving poles and hair-whips.

[laylalex 7,293]

I think this is the really relevant part (and thank you for the positive post!):

Quote

But optics are always about more than appearance. In my more churlish moods, the rebranding of midlife grates as a cheap trick to convince women to spend even more of our lives obsessing over our thighs. And that ageing is an embarrassing problem, one we can solve by throwing money at it. And still, there is a deep and true joy to be felt in a Lopez or Aniston showing what 50 can look like – because in our visually oriented culture, what 50 looks like is a statement about what 50 can be: relevant, fabulous, top-of-your-game.

I'm almost 35, and I look "good" for my age. (Sunblock , hydration, genes and lack of children help.) But I do ask myself how much of what I do is maintenance of a "look" and how much is for my own health. Preventing sun damage and drinking lots of water are good things, definitely. But I always wonder if I'm doing the stuff beyond those baseline things for me, or for someone else -- my fiance, society in general, the male gaze. There's no reason for me to wear lipstick, but I often do. I like how it looks on me, how I can change my entire appearance with a slick of color. Messing around with eyeshadow and eyeliner can also make me look innocent and doe-eyed, or what I think looks glamorous or even a little dangerous. Am I doing the appearance-changing to please myself or someone else? Both?

 

And I think it should be fine to "look" your age, without resorting to fillers (haven't done that) or lipo or having the tautest thighs. I don't think that I would ever get plastic surgery purely for cosmetic reasons, but I'm not going to say I'll never get a filler if I think it would make me feel better about myself. But why do I think aging is embarrassing in the first place, at least for myself, so that I would think I need to "fix" something that isn't even a problem? I think it's great to see JLo and Shakira and Jennifer Aniston and all of these women making middle age whatever it means for them. Age is whatever you make it. 

[Burnt Reynolds 5,058]

As Katt Williams would say, "I lie to me every morning in the mirror, just ridiculous lies to make me feel better".

 

What I took from the article is, this writer is basically trying to craft a narrative, if not for an audience, then for herself. 

[Boiler 45,670]

I have a friend who will be c70 when his youngest is of age. Quite common it seems for women not to consider children until well in to their thirties, in years gone by an old maid would start in mid late 20's.

 

So makes sense to me that if we are looking at middle age corresponding to roughly when children are of age what would have been 40 or something is now 50 ish. The complicating factor is society norms that said you still had 20 years of work left in you after children were of age, my Mother for example started her professional career when I was 16, so we transpose the number and it means retirement well into your 70's.

 

For confoimation jsut look at the ages of the recent Presidential contenders, Warren is 70, would that have been considered possible in decades gone?

[laylalex 7,293]

I think what Warren also has going for her is that she's a "young" 70 -- she takes care of her health, obviously has an active career as a Senator, and has strong connections to family and community. I worry about Trump's health -- he's only a few years older but he often looks unwell. His diet isn't fantastic, and that is common knowledge. He's overweight and doesn't take exercise. This is beyond whatever people say about his mental condition, which I will not speak to. Bernie had a heart attack, of course, which also worries me. I've not heard anything about his health regime though. Biden "looks" his age, though I understand that physically he is in good shape for his age. Again, no comment on mental state.

 

I have been thinking recently about if we had a child now, that I'd be in my mid-50s by the time he or she went to college. At one point that sounded like ancient, but the older I get the less scary it seems. I have an aunt who is 55 and she doesn't seem old or behind the times at all. Al's mum is similarly-aged and she's still very active and managed to snag a new boyfriend last year who's a few years younger. I'm still not convinced motherhood will be in the cards for me but I think I could deal with it. And as I mentioned, fillers are not out of the question.  

[Boiler 45,670]

On 3/21/2020 at 8:45 PM, laylalex said:

I think what Warren also has going for her is that she's a "young" 70 -- she takes care of her health, obviously has an active career as a Senator, and has strong connections to family and community. I worry about Trump's health -- he's only a few years older but he often looks unwell. His diet isn't fantastic, and that is common knowledge. He's overweight and doesn't take exercise. This is beyond whatever people say about his mental condition, which I will not speak to. Bernie had a heart attack, of course, which also worries me. I've not heard anything about his health regime though. Biden "looks" his age, though I understand that physically he is in good shape for his age. Again, no comment on mental state.

 

I have been thinking recently about if we had a child now, that I'd be in my mid-50s by the time he or she went to college. At one point that sounded like ancient, but the older I get the less scary it seems. I have an aunt who is 55 and she doesn't seem old or behind the times at all. Al's mum is similarly-aged and she's still very active and managed to snag a new boyfriend last year who's a few years younger. I'm still not convinced motherhood will be in the cards for me but I think I could deal with it. And as I mentioned, fillers are not out of the question.  

When I first started working in a proper job there was a guy in the sane department who I recollect being old, he was married, may have had a child etc. 20 or so years later I changed job and who did I find working at the new company, same guy, he was a few years older than me but not much. Not enough to then matter. Time passes, our perceptions change, I had a friend who became a father twice c 50. Not exactly planned.

[TBoneTX 45,536]

1 hour ago, Boiler said:

the sane department

A relief to hear that you were there and not in the insane department, si man!

[laylalex 7,293]

3 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

A relief to hear that you were there and not in the insane department, si man!

Okay, you get a like from me because that one was actually funny. 

[Dashinka 24,597]

You are as young as you feel, or as young as the plastic surgeon can make you.

[Boiler 45,670]

8 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Okay, you get a like from me because that one was actually funny. 

He needs more than one btw.

[laylalex 7,293]

1 minute ago, Boiler said:

He needs more than one btw.

How about two? Can he get a like if he gets two in a row? What's the current exchange rate?

3 minutes ago, Dashinka said:

You are as young as you feel, or as young as the plastic surgeon can make you.

Alex says you're only as young as the woman you feel, so I'm getting traded in fairly soon.  But not until he's married me, adjusted status and secured a favorable prenup.

[Ban Hammer 13,403]

39 minutes ago, laylalex said:

How about two? Can he get a like if he gets two in a row? What's the current exchange rate?

Alex says you're only as young as the woman you feel, so I'm getting traded in fairly soon.  But not until he's married me, adjusted status and secured a favorable prenup.

+1 for alex!

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

3 hours ago, laylalex said:

 

Alex says you're only as young as the woman you feel, so I'm getting traded in fairly soon.  But not until he's married me, adjusted status and secured a favorable prenup.

Tell Alex to get his butt back on VJ.  He may well be my new favorite super hero!

[TBoneTX 45,536]

10 hours ago, Boiler said:

He needs more than one btw.

Yeah, because SOMEBODY is pulling away rapidly in number of rep points.