Very serious situation

[Nyc2011 1]

Hi, I m a 10 year green card  holder, been with my usc wife from about 10 yrs now, we have a kid about 7 yrs old.

Came to usa with a k1 Visa, struggled till i got my work permit,  but after that i thought the hard part was part of the past but i was wrong.

Long story short,  she has an alcohol problem,  she has never worked since I got to the states,  I been doin it all in my own, workin 6 days a week 7 to 7, n barely making it,  no welfare Cuz I didn t want it.

So basically,  i worked while she was drinking all day,  I use to come bk from work I d not even find a plate of food ready, just her puking all over the place, n fighting with me n complaining about everything. 

Until 1 day they arrested her at our kid s school for going there intoxicated. 

So dcf got involved,  they almost took my boy away, they put her on a program for alcohol.

They stayed around for about a year until they thought she s good, the very next day I caught her drunk, dcf doesn t care, they r there just to get paid .

Anyways, during this time that dcf was stil around I caught her drunk n during arguments she assaults me with nails,  I just called cops n got her arrested,  didn t hit her or anything. 

Now, she still doin her thing,  doesn t work.  Doesn t help with anything in the house n drinks whenever she can.

People on the neighborhood always telling me including my landlord,  hey dude she hangs out with dudes when u r at work.

Brings them here down the building n hugging n , I told her n she was like nah that s a lie. 

Now 1 day her mom was here, n my son was playing with her phone n he gave it to me,  to open him a different video on YouTube, and I see that her messenger window with my wife was open.

Gave my boy my phone to watch his video, while I was checkin wat they had talked about in the past 3 yrs.

They both were not in the house during this.

And I read all the talking about me. 

But the more shocking was on January 2018, my wife was askin her money to abort Cuz she thought she was pregnant and she was tellin her if I find out I ll take her to court n take our son away from her.

N her mom asks her so it s not his kid?

N she answers no.

I called her, n told her I kno everything now, n she needs to come bk home immediately, she got worried .

N then they both came bk home, her mom lives in a diff state but she visits us a lot. 

Took my wife to the room n started talkin to her, told her about wat I read, she was like yes it happened with 2 guys.

One in the neighborhood,  and 1 other guy in the aa meeting .

Later she said no it was just 1.

N then she says she was never pregnant but she thought she was.

Now my parents are here for a visit n my mom tells me she gets so mad when u call her, but she s on the phone all day with other people. 

She hangs out still with ppl from the street, my mom says she seen her hug a guy down the building a few times  

I ask her n she  was like that guy s wife passed away n I just ask him if he s doin ok.

She s just a cheater n a big liar.

I went thru everything with her. But this cheating situation I m not beein able to forget,  i can t stop thinkin about it,  it got me sick .

Now , I don t even kno wat question to ask first.

I got dcf reports about her problems. 

Plus screen shots of her conversations with her mom about the abort n watever.

Plus pics of guys on her phone.

Now , if I take her to court n divorce, 

Can i take my citizenship with the proof of cheating. N not working. N drinkin problems.

Plus , if I divorce her, wat help can I get to raise my boy on my own.

And if I try to keep my parents here, can I keep them here if I don t have the passport yet.

So they can watch my son. 

Idk wat to say more.

Please help, n make questions , cuz I did not kno where to start cuz it has been a lot of things Happening. 

 

 

[aleful 1,905]

hi

 

you can divorce your wife and take her to court. if you have been a green card holder for 5 or more years, you can apply for citizenship

 

no, your parents can't stay here to take care of the child, it's illegal, it's considered work and they can't work on a visitor's visa.

 

you can hire a nanny or a babysitter.

 

 

[Just Paul 4,591]

You do whatever you have to do to take care of and protect your child.  You can file for citizenship if you have been married for 5 years or more.   It sounds like your LPR status is not an issue.   Divorce and move on.

[Boiler 43,430]

Take say a year to get Citizenship and another year or so to sponsor Parents.

[Nyc2011 1]

Thanks a lot to everyone of u guys who took their time to answer.

Wat I forgot to mention is that I caught her rollin weed plus there has been a few times where I did doubt a lot that she was on drugs.

She couldn't see.

N I have a few recordings on my phone conversations with me n her where she talks about the weed is not bad , n this n that , I don t agree with that.

Plus another time that she talks about the cheating.

Is it legal that I got those recordings to use those for court purposes?

Thanks n god bless

[Boiler 43,430]

What Court? I would imagine it varies by State.

[Daphne . 1,670]

13 minutes ago, Nyc2011 said:

Thanks a lot to everyone of u guys who took their time to answer.

Wat I forgot to mention is that I caught her rollin weed plus there has been a few times where I did doubt a lot that she was on drugs.

She couldn't see.

N I have a few recordings on my phone conversations with me n her where she talks about the weed is not bad , n this n that , I don t agree with that.

Plus another time that she talks about the cheating.

Is it legal that I got those recordings to use those for court purposes?

Thanks n god bless

Why would you want to use all that and all the previous information you described? Is that for the custody case? As proof that she is an unfit mother so you can get sole custody?

Just trying to understand why you feel the need to share all this non immigrant related information about your wife here..

[Nyc2011 1]

Court for divorce, so I can take full custody plus proof for when I apply for citizenship 

[Daphne . 1,670]

2 minutes ago, Nyc2011 said:

Court for divorce, so I can take full custody plus proof for when I apply for citizenship 

Well, I suggest you discuss the custody issue with your divorce lawyer then.. 

 

How will the recordings of your wife and all the information you wrote down here about her alcohol and weed use count as proof for your citizenship? This is a serious question btw.. 

[Nyc2011 1]

I m sorry, I understand most of this stuff is not immigration related.

But I need to understand what are my chances,  I ve been thru so much n idk wat to do. 

I went to immigration attorneys a few times talkin to them.

But they charge so much,  200$ for an hour n I can t afford that.

Thank u

[Nyc2011 1]

With wat I ment for the citizenship is if I get asked why did u n ur wife divorce.

N I got proof to show them.

[Boiler 43,430]

I am also lost how it would be relevant for Naturalisation.

 

Agree Divorce/Child Custody is a Lawyer issue.

[Boiler 43,430]

2 minutes ago, Nyc2011 said:

With wat I ment for the citizenship is if I get asked why did u n ur wife divorce.

N I got proof to show them.

Never heard of that being a question. Why is it relevant?

[Daphne . 1,670]

5 minutes ago, Nyc2011 said:

I m sorry, I understand most of this stuff is not immigration related.

But I need to understand what are my chances,  I ve been thru so much n idk wat to do. 

I went to immigration attorneys a few times talkin to them.

But they charge so much,  200$ for an hour n I can t afford that.

Thank u

It is up to you which approach you want to take on that. If you feel the need to bring all this stuff as proof that this is the reason why you want to divorce, that’s up to you. Personally I would apply some integrity but that is just my opinion..

 

Remember that it is also very expensive to be a single parent so try to be financially prepared for that too. Your parents will not be allowed to work as a baby sitter/child carer.

 

[Nyc2011 1]

Idk sir. I m just asking questions cuz I don t kno , n I m stuck on wat to do.

But I kno one thing that I need to divorce n move on with my son.

I m working now on this heat, n my wife is doin god knows wat?

Cheating ?drinking? Getting high?

I don t need that in my kid s life n my life.