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Lisa88

Evidence of bona-fide marriage with divorce

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How difficult is it to file for ROC by yourself? 

 

I got my conditional green card a few months ago based on a marriage with a US citizen. We were in a relationship for 3 years and got married. And we applied for AOS (I was a student on F1 and also working on OPT after graduating) and I got my conditional green card 1.7 years after marriage. 

So we have been together for more than 5 years. 

 

It's been only a few months since we finally got my conditional green card, but my US spouse cheated on me.  He said he really likes this new person, and wants to consider divorcing me. I am in depression and grief and I can't even concentrate on my work.  Our marriage was real, and we did love each other.

 

We are a same sex couple, where I am gay myself and he is bi. Recently, he said as we grew older, he started wanting to have a kid, not adopted one, but real one with his DNA. He never thought about having kids but growing old made him want kids. So he cheated on me with a girl. And he said he doesn't wanna go counseling with me because he cannot see the future having kids with me. 

 

I have all my life here, my job, my friends, my spouse (I am losing him though). I cannot even get married to my love in my own country because same sex marriage is banned. 

 

Is it possible to get divorced within the 2 year condition and still get the permanent residency? How hard is it? 

We have lots of proof that our marriage was entered into in good faith. 

What extra proofs do they require you if you wanna file for ROC by yourself? I read it's VERY difficult to pass all the requirements if the divorce occurs within 2 years. 

Edited by Lisa88

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There is a lot of threads based on similar circumstances.  

Mainly what you need to do is provide evidence that you entered the marriage in good faith.  That means you didn't enter with immigration benefits in mind only but rather to be in a real relationship. By the sounds of it, you did that.  

Good ideas of evidence are:

joint tax returns

joint bank accounts

wills (even previously drawn up wills for divorcing couples)

basically anything showing you lived together, commingled your lives, and especially your finances.

 

It's really not particularly difficult if you were a genuine couple. 

 

I am so sorry you are having to go through this.  I do really suggest seeking a counselor to talk to about all of your feelings.  I can only imagine the pain you feel. I am so very sorry.


You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  - Dr. Seuss

 

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5 minutes ago, NikLR said:

There is a lot of threads based on similar circumstances.  

Mainly what you need to do is provide evidence that you entered the marriage in good faith.  That means you didn't enter with immigration benefits in mind only but rather to be in a real relationship. By the sounds of it, you did that.  

Good ideas of evidence are:

joint tax returns

joint bank accounts

wills (even previously drawn up wills for divorcing couples)

basically anything showing you lived together, commingled your lives, and especially your finances.

 

It's really not particularly difficult if you were a genuine couple. 

 

I am so sorry you are having to go through this.  I do really suggest seeking a counselor to talk to about all of your feelings.  I can only imagine the pain you feel. I am so very sorry.

Thanks for your quick reply. 

 

Yes, we were truly in love. Otherwise we wouldn't have been in a relationship for so long before the marriage. 

 

And actually he has cheated on me before too. With a girl. He said the same thing about having kids. At that time I was able to convince him that we can adopt kids, or we could find a surrogate mom and he seemed convinced. 

I forgave him for cheating at that time because I really wanted to be with him. I still do. 

But this time he seems very cold and different. He is trying to justify himself. And he insists that the kids need to be real ones born to him and his loved one, which I cannot do anything about because we are both male. 

 

When they say you need lots of evidence that the marriage was entered into in good faith, isn't that basically the same stuff you submitted at the time of AOS

We did AOS from student to permannent residency and we had to submit lots of proof. 

Can we submit the same stuff also? Since it's been only a few months since the arrival of the conditional green card, we do not have many new things to submit. We have kept living together so we have more bills together with both names but that's pretty much it. The rest of the things, I already submitted with AOS like our old texts, our insurance etc. Lease too. 

 

We just don't comingle our financea because he is an over spender and I am the opposite where I save a few cents. We did not submit our joint bank account proof at the time of AOS either. He has $0-100 saving after working more than 10 years because he simply doesn't save. And I didnt want him to spend the money I saved, on alcohol or cigarettes etc. So I have been saving in my own account, and that was for our life together in the future. Which is not happening anymore... 

 

Sorry I didn't mean to type this long, but I am hurting so bad that I can't even think right. I really don't want to lose my life here. My job is good and they are giving me a good raise next year also. I have many friends here too. But more than anything, he was my everything. He still is to me. And we couldn't have been together in my home country due to our sexuality. 

 

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Can I submit the same things I submitted with AOS when I file for ROC by myself? How hard is it to complete ROC without your spouse?

 

I got married to my US spouse almost 21 months ago. Before the marriage, we were in a relationship for over 3 years.

I came to the US on F-1 student visa, and after graduating, I was working under OPT program. 

 

It had been more than a year since we married, when we filed for AOS from F1 to Conditional permanent residency, so we submitted lots of proof of our bona-fide relationship and marriage. 

Now, I have my conditional green card, but my spouse is wanting a divorce, and he refuses to go to counseling with me (some details in my previous question). 

Though we have been married for almost 2 years, we only a few months ago completed the AOS, so it has been only a few months since I became a conditional permanent resident. 

 

If we divorce now, and I need to file for ROC by myself, I understand that I need to provide USCIS with lots of evidence that our marriage was bone-fide. But I do not have many *new* bona-fide documents because we submitted lots of proofs for AOS only a few months ago!

In the past few months, the only new documents we can provide them are the bills sent to us that have both of our names on them, the lease (basically the same paper I submitted with AOS), and also health/car/dental/vision insurance that I have through my job that all list my spouse as the beneficiary.

 

Other than that, all I can submit is basically the same documents I submitted such as our old chats/texts, photos, wedding photos, plane tickets etc.

 

Basically my questions are:

1) Is it okay to submit the same bona-fide-proof documents I submitted for AOS, when I file for ROC alone if the divorce occurs before the 2 year conditional period is up?

2) Is it considered a red flag if a divorce occurs only a few months after the conditional GC arrived? We have been married for 21 months, but I have been a conditional permanent resident only for a few months. I am not sure if USCIS places more importance on the length of the marriage, or the length of conditional status. 

3) Is marriage counseling a must or filing for ROC by myself without it makes the entire process extremely harder? My spouse refuses to go to counseling because it cannot solve the basic issue we have. (He wants to have a baby, but we are a same sex couple. He is bi, so he simply cannot see the future with a male anymore).

 

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50 minutes ago, Lisa88 said:

Can I submit the same things I submitted with AOS when I file for ROC by myself? How hard is it to complete ROC without your spouse?

 

I got married to my US spouse almost 21 months ago. Before the marriage, we were in a relationship for over 3 years.

I came to the US on F-1 student visa, and after graduating, I was working under OPT program. 

 

It had been more than a year since we married, when we filed for AOS from F1 to Conditional permanent residency, so we submitted lots of proof of our bona-fide relationship and marriage. 

Now, I have my conditional green card, but my spouse is wanting a divorce, and he refuses to go to counseling with me (some details in my previous question). 

Though we have been married for almost 2 years, we only a few months ago completed the AOS, so it has been only a few months since I became a conditional permanent resident. 

 

If we divorce now, and I need to file for ROC by myself, I understand that I need to provide USCIS with lots of evidence that our marriage was bone-fide. But I do not have many *new* bona-fide documents because we submitted lots of proofs for AOS only a few months ago!

In the past few months, the only new documents we can provide them are the bills sent to us that have both of our names on them, the lease (basically the same paper I submitted with AOS), and also health/car/dental/vision insurance that I have through my job that all list my spouse as the beneficiary.

 

Other than that, all I can submit is basically the same documents I submitted such as our old chats/texts, photos, wedding photos, plane tickets etc.

 

Basically my questions are:

1) Is it okay to submit the same bona-fide-proof documents I submitted for AOS, when I file for ROC alone if the divorce occurs before the 2 year conditional period is up?

2) Is it considered a red flag if a divorce occurs only a few months after the conditional GC arrived? We have been married for 21 months, but I have been a conditional permanent resident only for a few months. I am not sure if USCIS places more importance on the length of the marriage, or the length of conditional status. 

3) Is marriage counseling a must or filing for ROC by myself without it makes the entire process extremely harder? My spouse refuses to go to counseling because it cannot solve the basic issue we have. (He wants to have a baby, but we are a same sex couple. He is bi, so he simply cannot see the future with a male anymore).

 

1. Yes, it is ok to submit the same documents for ROC as you used for AOS. We did that without a problem.

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14 minutes ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

1. Yes, it is ok to submit the same documents for ROC as you used for AOS. We did that without a problem.

Did you get the conditional green card and divorced during the 2 year conditional period? 

Can I ask for some more details? such as how long you were married before the divorce, and why the divorce occurred? Because for example, battered spouses can more easily obtain permanent resident than spouses divorced due to adultery or something else.

After applying for ROC by yourself, did you go through a strict scrutiny? I read somewhere that proving a bona-fide marriage is very difficult if a divorce occurs within 2 years of getting a conditional green card. Like you need a lot many more strong evidence. What did you submit as evidence, if you don't mind me asking.. 

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Are you posting for a friend? Previously you said you were a female couple and referred to your spouse as your wife. 

 

 

This shows the impirtance of discussing children before a marriage is entered into. 

 

In any event, you cannot send what you don’t have. Send the same documents again and any more that you have accumulated since then. 


 

 

 

 

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No judgment here, just curiosity... how did you settle on your user name "Lisa88" when you registered on VisaJourney?


Marriage: 2014-02-23               ROC interview/completed: 2018-08-16 - Albuquerque
CR1 started : 2014-06-06           N400 started: 2018-04-24
CR1 completed/POE : 2015-07-13     N400 interview: 2018-08-16 - Albuquerque
ROC started : 2017-04-14 CSC     Oath ceremony: 2018-09-24 – Santa Fe

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4 minutes ago, JFH said:

Are you posting for a friend? Previously you said you were a female couple and referred to your spouse as your wife. 

 

 

This shows the impirtance of discussing children before a marriage is entered into. 

 

In any event, you cannot send what you don’t have. Send the same documents again and any more that you have accumulated since then. 

 

Let me apologize about this. Since I am not perfectly out to everyone around me including my family, I was afraid of risks that somehow someone I know finds my post, I said female to female in the old post, but we are actually both males. I said female-female to make it look like it is not my post. 

But now that I am going through a divorce, which is more important to me than hiding my identity, I went honest on this post. 

 

Again, I am so sorry about the lie. 

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1 minute ago, Russ&Caro said:

No judgment here, just curiosity... how did you settle on your user name "Lisa88" when you registered on VisaJourney?

 

I was afraid of anyone around me like my family or some of my friends finding out about my sexuality, so I lied about my gender. 

But now that I am going through a hard time and the possibility of a divorce, which is way more devastating to me and my life, than my friends or family finding out about my sexuality, I just decided to be very honest about this in this post.

 

Again, I apologize for the lie. :( I am actually male, and just used a random name that came up to my head, when I created my user account.

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3 minutes ago, Lisa88 said:

 

I was afraid of anyone around me like my family or some of my friends finding out about my sexuality, so I lied about my gender. 

But now that I am going through a hard time and the possibility of a divorce, which is way more devastating to me and my life, than my friends or family finding out about my sexuality, I just decided to be very honest about this in this post.

 

Again, I apologize for the lie. :( I am actually male, and just used a random name that came up to my head, when I created my user account.

Ahh makes sense. Thanks for the explanation. No need to apologize.


Marriage: 2014-02-23               ROC interview/completed: 2018-08-16 - Albuquerque
CR1 started : 2014-06-06           N400 started: 2018-04-24
CR1 completed/POE : 2015-07-13     N400 interview: 2018-08-16 - Albuquerque
ROC started : 2017-04-14 CSC     Oath ceremony: 2018-09-24 – Santa Fe

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Do you all think a divorce only a few months after receiving the conditional green card is a red flag? Unlike many married couples who apply for AOS immediately after marriage, we took time before applying for AOS, so we have been married for a while. I am not sure if this even matters, and USCIS might only see how long it has been since the arrival of conditional green card.

 

Is it harder to show and convince USCIS about our bona-fide relationship/marriage if a divorce happens, than show bona-fide relationship for AOS

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I have no direct experience with ROC on a divorce waiver, however, I have seen a lot of stories in these situations through my participation in this forum for 4 years. From what I can tell, filing with a divorce waiver is a pretty straight forward process. Many or most do it without a lawyer. As for the timing, it is what it is. You might have a bit more scrutiny since it will occur so soon after you receive your green card. On the other hand, the length of your marriage (two years) will probably play in your favor. As for a delay in btwn marriage and filing for AOS, that's pretty common from what I've seen so I wouldn't sweat that too much. Good luck.


Marriage: 2014-02-23               ROC interview/completed: 2018-08-16 - Albuquerque
CR1 started : 2014-06-06           N400 started: 2018-04-24
CR1 completed/POE : 2015-07-13     N400 interview: 2018-08-16 - Albuquerque
ROC started : 2017-04-14 CSC     Oath ceremony: 2018-09-24 – Santa Fe

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I agree. Marriages fail all the time. 50% of us will go through divorce. I’ve been through a divorce with my first husband (although migration was not involved as this was back in the UK). USCIS is human enough to recognize that marriages fail, even in the early stages. There’s every chance the person reviewing and adjudicating your case is also a divorcee. The key is to show your intentions were pure on the day you got married. And that you intended to stay married. I’m surprised your spouse is so reluctant to go through counseling. My first husband and I divorced due to my inability to have children. We went through in-vitro procedures 7 times with no success and then I wanted to pursue adoption and it was then that he told me he didn’t really want children enough to go through all that. We went to counseling to try and work through it a day he did agree to start adoption procedures with me but it became more and more clear to me we both wanted completely different things in life. If the marriage has any meaning to him, he will at least try counseling. This is something that you can overcome. It was different for me and my first husband as we both entered the marriage fully expecting children to arrive as we had no knowledge of my infertility at the time. If you enter a marriage knowing that biological children are unlikely or impossible, I’m surprised that this issue has caused a divorce so early in without any efforts from your spouse to salvage the relationship, 


 

 

 

 

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8 hours ago, JFH said:

I agree. Marriages fail all the time. 50% of us will go through divorce. I’ve been through a divorce with my first husband (although migration was not involved as this was back in the UK). USCIS is human enough to recognize that marriages fail, even in the early stages. There’s every chance the person reviewing and adjudicating your case is also a divorcee. The key is to show your intentions were pure on the day you got married. And that you intended to stay married. I’m surprised your spouse is so reluctant to go through counseling. My first husband and I divorced due to my inability to have children. We went through in-vitro procedures 7 times with no success and then I wanted to pursue adoption and it was then that he told me he didn’t really want children enough to go through all that. We went to counseling to try and work through it a day he did agree to start adoption procedures with me but it became more and more clear to me we both wanted completely different things in life. If the marriage has any meaning to him, he will at least try counseling. This is something that you can overcome. It was different for me and my first husband as we both entered the marriage fully expecting children to arrive as we had no knowledge of my infertility at the time. If you enter a marriage knowing that biological children are unlikely or impossible, I’m surprised that this issue has caused a divorce so early in without any efforts from your spouse to salvage the relationship, 

I am getting very scared. because I just read on other forums that cases like mine can run into a big scrutiny just like you mentioned about having babies.  On that website, an attorney said the bona-fide-ness might be suspected in cases like mine because your spouse has always known he is bi, yet he married you, and now he is wanting a divorce because he wants a baby now.

 

I talked to him about this because I was not convinced either. He said, he thought just having me is enough to be happy, and maybe if we want to have a baby, adoption or surrogate mom is enough as we are a same-sex couple. However, as we spend more time, and we have seen more couples walking around, and also when he works with other females, he started feeling that he wants his own baby born to him and his female partner, who can be the biological parents. 

 

And he insists that counseling is meaningless because it will not make me or him be able to carry a baby.  

I know it is quite selfish, but he decided not to spend the christmas with me, and he went out with this girl.  I am so mad at her also because she knows he is married, and still keeps trying to get him.

 

According to him, she is also trying to threaten me about this immigration case. Like if I won't give up on him, she will do anything she can to talk to the USCIS that this marriage is fake and he cares about her, not me.

I doubt she can do anything because she is not involved in this marriage, but she really is a ##### (excuse my language), who touched my love, who is stealing my love from me, and I am so mad at him too for going out with her, and he keeps stepping on my feelings. 

 

I am just in depression and losing hope for life because this is obviously not what I married him for.

Edited by Ryan H
Reason for edit: to remove alternate spelling of profanity.

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