GC Interview (through Marriage) Concern

[MaryLoves 5]

I was a n international female student on F1, and I got married to a US citizen. We applied for AOS through marriage, and we are waiting for our interview in a few months.

 

Since we were in a relationship for 3 years before marriage, and we have been married for more than a year, we have lots of texts, photos, etc. We are both poor, so we didn't get to travel though. But we also have a joint bank account, joint health insurances, joint car insurance, a rental agreement with both of our names on it, and also all the bills we got in mail with both of our names on them. 

 

However, the problem is, I haven't told my family (except my sister) that I am married. This is because I am lesbian and my spouse is a girl too, and I know my family would hate me if they ever found out that I married a woman. One time, I couldn't keep a secret from my mother, who lives in my home country, so I told her on the phone that I am thinking about marrying someone of the same sex and that I am lesbian, and she said "Please don't. It is just a phase. You will eventually start liking men, so wait until then. Homosexuality doesn't exist. " She sounded very disappointed and I could tell she was crying on the other line of the phone. 

 

Now I can never tell my family that I am now married... My USC spouse's family all know that we are married and they are okay with it, but it is just my family who is not accepting of this kind of marriage and relationship.. 

I know myself and I know I won't change my sexuality, so I decided to marry the girl I love. 

 

Because of all this, my family doesn't know I am married, and they have not met my spouse's family either. I have some photos with my spouse's family, but my spouse does not have a photo with my family. They cannot even travel all the way here either. 

 

Does this lead to an immediate rejection of GC application at the interview? I am scared we might get separated solely because we cannot provide them with family photos with both sides of families in them..

Edited June 7, 2018 by MaryLoves

[Cyberfx1024 7,978]

12 minutes ago, MaryLoves said:

I was a n international female student on F1, and I got married to a US citizen. We applied for AOS through marriage, and we are waiting for our interview in a few months.

Since we were in a relationship for 3 years before marriage, and we have been married for more than a year, we have lots of texts, photos, etc. We are both poor, so we didn't get to travel though. But we also have a joint bank account, joint health insurances, joint car insurance, a rental agreement with both of our names on it, and also all the bills we got in mail with both of our names on them. 

However, the problem is, I haven't told my family (except my sister) that I am married. This is because I am lesbian and my spouse is a girl too, and I know my family would hate me if they ever found out that I married a woman. One time, I couldn't keep a secret from my mother, who lives in my home country, so I told her on the phone that I am thinking about marrying someone of the same sex and that I am lesbian, and she said "Please don't. It is just a phase. You will eventually start liking men, so wait until then. Homosexuality doesn't exist. " She sounded very disappointed and I could tell she was crying on the other line of the phone. 

Now I can never tell my family that I am now married... My USC spouse's family all know that we are married and they are okay with it, but it is just my family who is not accepting of this kind of marriage and relationship.. 

I know myself and I know I won't change my sexuality, so I decided to marry the girl I love. 

Because of all this, my family doesn't know I am married, and they have not met my spouse's family either. I have some photos with my spouse's family, but my spouse does not have a photo with my family. They cannot even travel all the way here either. 

Does this lead to an immediate rejection of GC application at the interview? I am scared we might get separated solely because we cannot provide them with family photos with both sides of families in them..

No, it shouldn't lead to a denial but it may raise some questions. So if they ask a question then answer truthfully and you should be fine overall.

[MyJourney 276]

Argument: Approval of family members can be grounds for more stable marriage. 
Counter Argument: You are an adult and can make your own decisions. 

[thepanda 87]

32 minutes ago, MaryLoves said:

I was a n international female student on F1, and I got married to a US citizen. We applied for AOS through marriage, and we are waiting for our interview in a few months.

 

Since we were in a relationship for 3 years before marriage, and we have been married for more than a year, we have lots of texts, photos, etc. We are both poor, so we didn't get to travel though. But we also have a joint bank account, joint health insurances, joint car insurance, a rental agreement with both of our names on it, and also all the bills we got in mail with both of our names on them. 

 

However, the problem is, I haven't told my family (except my sister) that I am married. This is because I am lesbian and my spouse is a girl too, and I know my family would hate me if they ever found out that I married a woman. One time, I couldn't keep a secret from my mother, who lives in my home country, so I told her on the phone that I am thinking about marrying someone of the same sex and that I am lesbian, and she said "Please don't. It is just a phase. You will eventually start liking men, so wait until then. Homosexuality doesn't exist. " She sounded very disappointed and I could tell she was crying on the other line of the phone. 

 

Now I can never tell my family that I am now married... My USC spouse's family all know that we are married and they are okay with it, but it is just my family who is not accepting of this kind of marriage and relationship.. 

I know myself and I know I won't change my sexuality, so I decided to marry the girl I love. 

 

Because of all this, my family doesn't know I am married, and they have not met my spouse's family either. I have some photos with my spouse's family, but my spouse does not have a photo with my family. They cannot even travel all the way here either. 

 

Does this lead to an immediate rejection of GC application at the interview? I am scared we might get separated solely because we cannot provide them with family photos with both sides of families in them..

If they ask you if your family knows you should tell them exactly this. Not every family is perfect, not every family is close. They can't just go by a book and check it off their list ("Ok, both families know. Check."). Especially in your situation, every normal should understand that (unfortuantely) today there are still a lot of people who do no accept homosexuality. You just don't go around and tell everyone. There are so many stories out there of people who were so scared to tell their parents about who their sexuality.

Don't worry too much! It is definitely possible that they might ask a few more questions but if you have enough of all other proof you should be fine. I completely understand why you didn't tell your parents. I don't know if I would have told mine if I were in your situation. I would have tested it first like you and see how they'd react.

Good luck and you will be fine!

[mushroomspore 3,043]

Firstly, I'm sorry to hear you feel so uncomfortable telling your family about your life. Family are supposed to be supportive but this is not the case for everyone. And this wouldn't be so stressful if you weren't going through the immigration process.

 

That said, just be honest with the officer IF it comes up. It might not. But what the officer is really looking for is honesty and to see that you and your spouse are on the same page. If this was something you hid from your spouse and this lie was revealed during the interview, that lie would be more the issue. I hope that makes sense. If the IO sees that you both have discussed it and agreed it's better not to tell your family, that shows you're a real couple because every couple has their unique issues (and strengths!) and what matters is that we communicate with our spouses about it. Not telling your family is not grounds for denial, so don't worry about that. Good luck. =)