If it don't apply let it fly

[Chardon Ne' 71]

Why dont VJ members ignore questions that they don't want to answer? What is to be gained from being condescending and belittling someone? This is people's real lives and we must remember that this process can cause a lot of anxiety and sometimes what may seem obvious isn't always so. Maybe people do not read so well or so well in English and have difficulty interpreting what is being written so they want clarification or a second opinion. In my life I have learned that the only stupid question is the one that wasn't asked. Especially when EVERYTHING asked on VJ can be searched except for specific questions to individual cases.

[f f 725]

I never recall seeing a notice stating this was a safe space for sensitive people to ask questions and only get the answers they want to hear.

in short immigration is a cruel beast that is by design ment to protect the American people as a whole and thier way of life. it puts the immigrant and the immigrant's family second. it denies husbands and wives from living in the us together in order to verify the immigrant has no diseases that will harm the population, is not a criminal who will prey on our society or spouse and actually is coming to the us for the purpose thier visa states. it protects our way of life by limiting who may come to work so only if there is a need the immigrant allowed to try to get a visa and even at that limits how many visas are even offered.

also the information is in the guides or in the instructions for the uscis forms. not exactly hard things to find just takes a bit of work.

spare time helps with why people including myself answer posts like these.

[Chardon Ne' 71]

So in their spare time they enjoy belittling people? Hmmm. Interesting. Even in those cases you are saying that it is ok to be rude to someone just because they asked a question that they could have researched? What if they did but did not comprehend? My thing would be to ask did you look it up first as opposed to assuming they didnt because you know what they say about ppl who Assume? For example in one post someone kept asking a question but the way it was being answered they sounded like "haters" more than helpers. I chimed in and gave the person the same response but the way I stated it they were more willing to accept it from me because I didnt answer in a way that made them feel like an idiot. It surprises me the hard stance that immigrants take on one another. Even harder than me and Im a US citizen. The truth of the matter is every case is subjective, no two cases are ever alike even if they are processed the same day so no one REALLY knows anything. Its all assumptions, opinions and educated guesses. No there isnt a notice but it should be written in your human code, to be human. It sounds to me that the ones who feel the need to respond is more sensitive than the people who are asking and heaven forbid you respond in a similar tone and voice one of their moderator "friends" will surely close the thread. As a newbie it annoys me to no end when a vet asks about processing times. Instead of being sarcastic Ill just roll my eyes and keep going. Or I start a general thread like this as opposed to confronting any person directly. Its called self control.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

why is it ok for people to feel superior because of the way that they give advice?

[Lotofdoubts 18]

Sadly I saw more people asking questions turn into rude comments towards the people answering because they don't like the rules/laws and they don't like the answers they get... I feel that sometimes is not rude but maybe crude answers... or surprised ones when someone asking have a weird case... Also I assume not everyone have my sense of humor, I can sound rude at times but is mostly a sarcastic character and a peculiar sense of humor...

[Thegirl 224]

For the same reason you bring this up on multiple occasions people do what they want.

Edited December 17, 2016 by Keas

[Unlockable 7,306]

I have seen several times an OP post a question about a difficult case. Basically something that would lead to a denial or makes them ineligible. There would be 100 replies telling the OP the likelihood of the OP getting denied. Then, out of the blue, there will be one person that replies with some false hope response like, "you can file a waiver for blah, blah, blah" or "you can send a notarized letter from Senator so-and-so" and the OP latches on to that single response because it gives them a reason to believe they have a chance. That type of false hope only leads to wasted efforts and energy. I would rather give it to me straight.

I do think there is a huge amount of ignorance regarding immigration from both foreigners and USC's. But it is noone's fault as the system is highly convoluted. But at least a little research would reduce the amount of repetitive threads that are created daily.

Like someone already mentioned there are times when poster take answers really hard even if it is the truth. Example... saw a woman claim we (as in VJ members) don't believe in family unity when she found out there are no petitions for nieces and nephews. Saw a guy blame the American government for separating his family because the process to migrate them was too long. Even though the decision for him to migrate and leave them behind was solely his.

Time away from loved ones and stress of the immigration process can bring out the bad emotional side of many. At the end of the day VJ is one of the best sites for immigration. No other site offer guides, timelines, links to forms, sample documents, lawyer directories, and specific embassy reviews. The tools are here.

[Thegirl 224]

P.S. and similarly you don't ignore these same people that you are referring to. (For the OP). Clearly ignoring isn't all that easy.

[Chardon Ne' 71]

why is it ok for people to feel superior because of the way that they give advice?

Not superior just like a human being.

Sadly I saw more people asking questions turn into rude comments towards the people answering because they don't like the rules/laws and they don't like the answers they get... I feel that sometimes is not rude but maybe crude answers... or surprised ones when someone asking have a weird case... Also I assume not everyone have my sense of humor, I can sound rude at times but is mostly a sarcastic character and a peculiar sense of humor...

What I see is someone looking for people who have a similar experience to theirs that answers the question.

[Chardon Ne' 71]

P.S. and similarly you don't ignore these same people that you are referring to. (For the OP). Clearly ignoring isn't all that easy.

Consider me the bullies' bully. Lol

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Not superior just like a human being.

What I see is someone looking for people who have a similar experience to theirs that answers the question.

yes, and some humans are sarcastic and blunt

[Villanelle 4,121]

Why dont VJ members ignore questions that they don't want to answer? What is to be gained from being condescending and belittling someone? This is people's real lives and we must remember that this process can cause a lot of anxiety and sometimes what may seem obvious isn't always so. Maybe people do not read so well or so well in English and have difficulty interpreting what is being written so they want clarification or a second opinion. In my life I have learned that the only stupid question is the one that wasn't asked. Especially when EVERYTHING asked on VJ can be searched except for specific questions to individual cases.

I understand what you are saying- and Im sure Ive said similar things, cause I do agree with you. But honestly Im sure Ive also been condescending- so (shrug)

The best I can tell you is that the people who take the time to reply on here have good intentions. Yeah, occasionally you get someone trolling or just seeking to start drama, but the mods handle it quickly. The community as a whole (outside of the one sub-forum where its permitted) doesnt allow for controversial behavior. You'll see many members are invested in the forum and do their part to keep it all 'in check' just as much as the mods. (someones pushing the report buttons).

What you have to understand is like you stated- most if not all of the info is already somewhere on VJ. So when someone comes on with out doing the slightest bit of research and starts asking basic questions that wouldve been answered if they took even one moment to read the guides or forms--- well, thats irritating. And then when the question is again repeated even after being told to read the guides or refer to the forms and they state- well why cant you just tell me?

They are basically saying why should I have to do anything/put in any effort? This is a DIY help site, not a do it FOR you site. People are more then willing to help those that are in need or struggling, not those that simply do not even make the effort and just want it handed to them. Its up to each responder to evaluate the post and decide how to reply.

Sure, we can avoid those that seem like they put in no effort, but then you know what happens? Others come along with good intentions and no knowledge and make 'suggestions' based on ideas and not facts. So now the forum is being filled with inaccurate info. Or the threads can be ignored but eventually the front page will be filled with topics with no responses and when someone seeking info does actually search- what are they going to find?

It would be nice if everyone behaved responsibly and people were considerate both in asking questions and responding. But you cant control something like that. If you do find a post where someone is aggressive or unnecessarily rude or belittling to another you can report it if it crosses the line. If its not severe enough to report, then go ahead and sprinkle some happiness into the thread. They say light is stronger then darkness.

[Chardon Ne' 71]

I appreciate you taking the time to engage in a MATURE dialog. I can understand what you are saying. I usually will try to do what you suggest but I just find it odd that ppl allow what they read to get them to the point that it would take them out of their character unless that is their character. My pm is full of messages feom ppl thanking me for my advisory. The most annoying thing for me is when someone asks abiut processing times and hiw long it takes for this or that but instead of responding i ignore them.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

My pm is full of messages feom ppl thanking me for my advisory.

Yes, mine too! I just had to delete a bunch because it was completely full.