Help with possible divorce!!!

[ali.cha 18]

OP, it's not true that you are not entitled to anything and divorcing is just signing off the paper. At a minimum, your husband is responsible for you till you can be stand on your own feet. There is no prenuptial agreement between you two, right?

You need to consult (in person or a phone call) with an attorney practicing family law or at a minimum a paralegal with experience in family law. A

Don't SIGN any divorce paper till you have talked to a lawyer / attorney / paralegal!

Thank you Jam, that's not much but enough informative

[belinda63 2,981]

You have lived in the US for more than two years. You might get some alimony for a short period of time but the judge is going to want to know why you haven't been working since the family's financial situation is so tough. I suggest you start planning for way to live by yourself, supporting yourself. Even if you are awarded alimony you can't get blood from a stone, in other words if he has no money he can't give you any.

As to gaining support via the I-864 you could sue him in federal court and in a few years might win, if you can afford the legal fees. Again it is doubtful the family court will award you much if any alimony for any extended length of time.

[Boiler 43,451]

Misleading posts about the I 864, nothing she has said suggests she can not work and has had a long time to find a job.

If there are no community assets then the rest of it becomes a bit of a pointless discussion.

Get a job, divorce and move on.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Misleading posts about the I 864, nothing she has said suggests she can not work and has had a long time to find a job.

If there are no community assets then the rest of it becomes a bit of a pointless discussion.

Get a job, divorce and move on.

Exactly. Find a job anywhere. Get a bike, ride it to work. Edited January 27, 2016 by Transborderwife

[jam2016 10]

Exactly. Find a job anywhere. Get a bike, ride it to work.

May be possible but very hard for someone living in a rural small town in CA. Public transportation is next to nothing and riding a bike to work is not always an option. She needs to contact the county she is in for a temporary shelter and to cover some basic needs and a job prospect at this point and explain what's going on. She needs to get a DL and a car if she wants to get a job in CA.

She also needs to talk to someone who can guide her through the divorce process.

[Boiler 43,451]

May be possible but very hard for someone living in a rural small town in CA. Public transportation is next to nothing and riding a bike to work is not always an option. She needs to contact the county she is in for a temporary shelter and to cover some basic needs and a job prospect at this point and explain what's going on. She needs to get a DL and a car if she wants to get a job in CA.

She also needs to talk to someone who can guide her through the divorce process.

Odd

Not like that at all in Colorado, somebody why wants to work, turns up on town and is not drugged out would have no issue.

[jam2016 10]

Odd

Not like that at all in Colorado, somebody why wants to work, turns up on town and is not drugged out would have no issue.

More than a decade ago, I used to walk 5-6 miles each way for attending a Uni because there was no bus due to MTA was on strike for a couple of months.

When it comes to commuting, CA is a country of it's own from the rest of the States.

No Car, No Job, No Nothing in the 90% of cities in California.

One need to be living in a very densely populated cities such as L.A downtown or San Francisco to rely on the public transports or be able to ride a bike to work.

[Boiler 43,451]

I have a bus come by once a day..

Not a lot of this story makes sense, failing a US Driving Test?, is that possible?, and in the following 2 years what?

Now most of the people I have heard of around here with no DL are banned for DUI etc but they still seem to get around. There are ways, I did not have transport when I got here.

If she lives in a small town then it is not like travelling from one side of LA to another, she will be looking at minimum wage jobs locally.

[jam2016 10]

I don't know the whole story and I pretty much agree what you or most people would say.

But at this time, I guess the best thing for the OP is to contact county social worker and see if she can get any help in obtaining a shelter. She needs to get a DL and a Job and the county may be able to assist with the job placement.

A minimum wage job is a start and better than no job.

Without knowing the whole story or POV between the OP and the husband, the only thing I can makes sense is that it's not true that divorcing is just signing off a paper and she is not entitled to anything as told by her husband.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

I don't know the whole story and I pretty much agree what you or most people would say.

But at this time, I guess the best thing for the OP is to contact county social worker and see if she can get any help in obtaining a shelter. She needs to get a DL and a Job and the county may be able to assist with the job placement.

A minimum wage job is a start and better than no job.

Without knowing the whole story or POV between the OP and the husband, the only thing I can makes sense is that it's not true that divorcing is just signing off a paper and she is not entitled to anything as told by her husband.

I supposed her husband is entitled to her asset / money in a divorce too. Who knows OP might be financially well-off than her USC husband.

[jam2016 10]

I supposed her husband is entitled to her asset / money in a divorce too. Who knows OP might be financially well-off than her USC husband.

Absolutely true but only to the community property and fundings after the marriage!

If she works or have income, the husband could demand alimony too. It shows the law of entitlement goes both ways.

If the OP is well off, the state of CA shouldn't be spending a dime of taxpayer $ too.

[Yoveeta 36]

if marriage was not for only get in USA, and you still love him, and think that he still love you, get the counselling.. Giving up without trying to fix things is so usual in these days.. Plus immigration marriages usually are harder, because a lot of people didn't spent much time together before getting married, then you have time when you just sit at home and can't work. It affects marriage.,

Second thing, I'm not going to be nice, go and get work, nobody is going to do it for you.. and try to pass driving license again..

If you will divorce, just find work, find place to live and carry on living.. Sorry but no one else can sort out your life for you, but you..

[kkk1 42]

Hi everyone,

I am desperate and i need specific answers to my questions. I feel my marriage is getting over and I don't know where to start. My husband works on east and west coast, most time he spends in NYC now. Staying away from me long time he stops talking to me and seems gives him time to figure out how to get rid of me. We've got through a lot, including lots of fight and it might have affected our relationship. Soon he will be back and i want him to send application to divorce. A little about me: I live in a very small town, failed driving test lately and i am unemployed, obviously that's the reason he think i am sort of nuisance for him. I'm tired living like that, I am very stressed and I don't know what expect next from him. So tell me, if he applies to court to divorce us what right do i have? I came to the US by CR1 visa and if we're divorced I won't be able to support myself first, because finding job will take time. Or maybe you could advise me where I could call/write to get a help like free lawyer who defends immigrant's rights or safe shelter to start my new life. Please give me advice. Thank you

Divorce is not the solution and lots of people suggesting you to sue him for I-864 for what? I assume; even though you guys fight, he is still responsible for you. In bringing you here and for all process he spent. You guys might be fighting because of lack of communication. If you try to communicate with him; it would be easy for you guys. Yes he might be fustrated for no reason. You need to think of trying hard to get job and getting driving licence. I have also failed test; but passed second time. You need some self confidence. Don't look at divorce as option now. Talk to him; get your things straight. Ask him to communicated instead of giving you silent treatment.

[aaa2zzz 27]

In California, it is possible to get spousal support, but not easy. Look at this for the factors. Generally, for short marriages (less than 10 years) the rule of thumb is half the length of the marriage.

http://www.liaisesolutions.com/3-spousal-support-myths-exposed-the-truth-about-alimony-from-a-san-francisco-divorce-mediator/

There are no free lawyers. Lawyers have to eat too. You can get information from the court website about the divorce process.

http://www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp-divorce.htm

That being said... you have to evaluate why you married him. If he is a good man and he loved you, you should be able to work it out if both are willing.

It takes 2 people to fight. I am really lucky to have found my wife. We have not had one fight since the day of our marriage. I don't think she is capable of fighting. She always puts me first, which makes me want to do the same. You cannot change your husband; you can only change yourself. If you try to change and be the perfect wife, maybe it is too late but at least you will know you did all you could.

[ali.cha 18]

kkk1 and aaa2zzz,

For me divorce is not solution, I love my husband and the last thing i wanna divorce. Many things happened in past and still does that require a lot of details like he betrayed me a few times - he bought me a ticket to my home country and right before coming back to the US he canceled saying that he didn't want me to suffer of our relationship. Now he's gone to business trip and before departure he again canceled his ticket staying longer there. When I failed my driving test he was extremely mad that whatever I touch I fail. He told me that I had more than 20 job interviews and none of the succeed. He said I might not belong to US lifestyle and have to come back to my home country where I could be happier. Do you think person who cherish his spouse says this? I thought it was emotional frustration then he repeated that again before he went on business trip

kkk1 and aaa2zzz,

For me divorce is not solution, I love my husband and the last thing i wanna divorce. Many things happened in past and still does that require a lot of details like he betrayed me a few times - he bought me a ticket to my home country and right before coming back to the US he canceled saying that he didn't want me to suffer of our relationship. Now he's gone to business trip and before departure he again canceled his ticket staying longer there. When I failed my driving test he was extremely mad that whatever I touch I fail. He told me that I had more than 20 job interviews and none of the succeed. He said I might not belong to US lifestyle and have to come back to my home country where I could be happier. Do you think person who cherish his spouse says this? I thought it was emotional frustration then he repeated that again before he went on business trip