Was there ever any question which of you would relocate?

[Qilin 2]

As I've posted elsewhere, my husband and I are still deciding who will move -- me to the UK, or him to the States.

Did any of you go through a similar "decision" phase, or did you always intend that the UK fiance/spouse would move to the U.S.?

For those of who considered both options, why did you choose the one you did?

Just curious about other couples' experiences and reasoning. It seems that there are good reasons to go with either choice.

Cheers,

Lauren

[kates43 13]

Hey,

It honestly will be different for everybody. It's a very unique reason behind most decisions about this.

For myself and my now husband, we looked at him coming to Australia or me to the U.S.

We couldn't afford a wedding and the visa cost and housing cost for Australia, whereas he already had an apartment, a full time job, the visa is cheaper and is still working on his career, whereas I don't have a career. Just a job.

So for us it made sense for me to move right now, and we hope someday we can return to Australia to live and raise a family.

Good luck in your decision making, it isn't an easy one to make sometimes.

[yuna628 9,530]

We did debate it, but in the end the decision became made for us, although a difficult one. Due to the new UK immigration rules there was never any realistic way that we would be together in his country any time soon. So he made the choice that he would leave his family and country behind and come to America, where there is at least a somewhat reasonable system and a country that welcomes him. We saved and got prepared for the process, filed, and now he's here.

[Boiler 43,438]

I was staying put and then the 2nd Grandchild and I moved.

Edited November 12, 2015 by Boiler

[Alaska2012 462]

For us it was a financial decision that me and my son moved over to the US. My husband makes really good money here and what he does for a living isn't in high demand in sweden at all. My teacher salary over there didn't even come close to what he makes.

[Kat&Jon 84]

Jon and I discussed this but because the income requirements are so high there is no way he would be able to sponsor me. The bank I work for has a headquarters in England but I already checked and they would not sponsor me to move over and work at the UK headquarters. This made it so that the US was our only option.

We both were originally disappointed to find out that we couldn't really have a full on discussion and weigh pros and cons of both, but Jon is happy to come to the US. There are many things he loves when he comes over and he looks at it as a fresh start and as long as he is happy, then I am happy as well! We have plans to visit as often as we can so that he doesn't have to miss his Niece and Nephew too much and all of his family is excited at the opportunity to have a free place to stay when visiting Florida! So we have that as well which helped make us happy about being left with the decision to be in the US.

[6yearslater 4]

Jon and I discussed this but because the income requirements are so high there is no way he would be able to sponsor me. The bank I work for has a headquarters in England but I already checked and they would not sponsor me to move over and work at the UK headquarters. This made it so that the US was our only option.

We both were originally disappointed to find out that we couldn't really have a full on discussion and weigh pros and cons of both, but Jon is happy to come to the US. There are many things he loves when he comes over and he looks at it as a fresh start and as long as he is happy, then I am happy as well! We have plans to visit as often as we can so that he doesn't have to miss his Niece and Nephew too much and all of his family is excited at the opportunity to have a free place to stay when visiting Florida! So we have that as well which helped make us happy about being left with the decision to be in the US.

I'm relocating to Tampa too How is your process going so far? When do you think you'll move?

For Myke & I it was a no brainer really - I never really grew up in the UK. I was originally born in Durham, but my family and I relocated when I turned 1 and I never came back to live in the UK until I turned 18 and started uni in Leeds. I never built a connection with the UK - my family were based in China and I didn't seem to share common ground with the UK.. but I grew up in American schools so I always felt very at home with Myke in the US. We also have three cats together in Florida.. So we never had any debate as to where we would live together.. the UK was never and will never be an option but we will always be happy to explore other countries! (It's a little different when its meant to be your "home country" but you don't ever feel at home at all, if that makes sense)

It'll be different to everyone really, but it is interesting to hear everyones stories.

[Kat&Jon 84]

I'm relocating to Tampa too How is your process going so far? When do you think you'll move?

Hurrah for more people in Tampa! We will have to put together a VJ meet and greet sometime!

Our process hasn't started yet. I continue to collect documents that we need so when we are ready to begin I can just send in the docs and be good to go. We are waiting for a couple of things regarding the City Council where Jon is from in order to make sure his Mum will be okay when he leaves the country. We hope that we can start the process in Spring of 2016 but its really a waiting game with the Council at this point.

I currently live in Tampa and I am the USC sponsor, Jon will be the UK beneficiary. As with others I just hope that they reduce the requirements to move back in case later on Jon wants to be back with family over there since I hope we can keep it equal on missing family!!! I always hate it when I think about the time he will be away from his family but I understand its a sacrifice!

[Jonathan and Tina 4]

We definitely back-and-forthed for a while, and at one point actually decided on the UK. There are pros and cons either way, but in the end it was the easier system to get into the US and there's the size issue.... in the US, once you're inside you can go anywhere in a giant country. The UK, by contrast, is less than half the size of Colorado.

Also there were climate and family considerations... it was a difficult decision and we still sometimes wonder about it. Definitely pros and cons either way.

[Heather&Kevin 25]

We did debate it, but in the end the decision became made for us, although a difficult one. Due to the new UK immigration rules there was never any realistic way that we would be together in his country any time soon. So he made the choice that he would leave his family and country behind and come to America, where there is at least a somewhat reasonable system and a country that welcomes him. We saved and got prepared for the process, filed, and now he's here.

Ooooh! What are the new rules about coming to the UK? I haven't looked into that at all. I thought it used to be really quite simple.

We didn't have any debate - well, she did mention not liking the cold... But for me, moving to the USA is all part of this amazing journey - I feel lucky to be presented with this new enormous country to live in and discover - and she is very happy to stay at home. (She also has two dogs who wouldn't like to emigrate)

[trudi 1,317]

No it was never a debate, once we decided our future was together it could only be me moving.

Joe loves his hunting and shooting, lives up a mountain, no way would I ever consider asking him to leave all that to live life in small town England

[yuna628 9,530]

Ooooh! What are the new rules about coming to the UK? I haven't looked into that at all. I thought it used to be really quite simple.

We didn't have any debate - well, she did mention not liking the cold... But for me, moving to the USA is all part of this amazing journey - I feel lucky to be presented with this new enormous country to live in and discover - and she is very happy to stay at home. (She also has two dogs who wouldn't like to emigrate)

It used to be yes, and then the new government took over.

US citizens are classed as non-EEA citizens, this means strict rules apply relating to financial test of means and there is no 'free movement' that would apply to EU specific citizens. Only the finances of the UK citizen are taken into account. There are no co-sponsors, offers from friends or family, or even specific living arrangements taken into account. The UK citizen must make £18,600 per year in a job that they have held for at least six months. For each child this increases a further £2,4000. The UK citizen can use savings, but this must be in the amount of £62,500 and held for six months. For each child this increases a further £6,000. You can do the conversion math on this and you suddenly realize the amount compared to the US is quite large. The statistics on this is staggering.in that a large number of Britons live on different means compared to those who may live in more wealthier economic areas. A large percent of the population would never be able to bring their spouse over to live. These rules have separated families and has been challenged multiple times, the latest will be heard in the Supreme Court. It has also made it more difficult for non-EEA spouses to even simply visit their UK citizen loved one. Many UK citizens immigrate to the US with the hope of bringing their spouse back with them one day, without realizing the difficulty. It's a subject of heavy debate.

[crazyworld 54]

My fiancee graciously said she will come here to the USA. I come from a small family, brother and dad passed away so it leaves only me to take care of mum. We figured it would be easier for her to come here first to help with my mum because mum don't have all that many years left anyway. We figure that when mum passes, i should be able to retire if not retired already and then we will start the move over to England to be with her mum since her dad passed already too. We also have 2 wiggle butts (Dogs) now who do not like to travel. Guessing this is a 5 to 10 year window at most.

From what I am reading on the rules to move to England, we should be able to make it if it doesn't get any harder then it is now. Selling the house and banking the money would give us the money needed for the UK requirements. We will be able to live off the retirement accounts we have and social security if it is around.

Once her mum passes then it is off to any county that is warm all year round and has a large body of water next to or around it. Not saying the southern or western parts of the US are off the table! I would love to live in Hawaii but very very expensive.

This is the plan anyway at this point in time.

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

For those couples where both come from 1st world countries (US/Canada/UK/Germany/Australia/etc), it's a tough choice.

For those of us whose SO come from the 2nd or 3rd world, the choice is usually pretty simple, I think. There's no way that I would leave my Wall street job to move to Costa Rica. It's probably the nicest country in Central America, that's not saying much, with high crime (in the city) targeted towards visitors, ridiculously low wages and high unemployment, high cost of living, and 3rd world infrastructure. I'd have to work illegally because their Immigration timelines are worse than USCIS, and then it would take me about 8 years to make what I make here in a year. My wife wanted and hoped that I would move there, but our choice was clear, and she realized and accepted the fact.

The only thing I would suggest is communicate. Make lists to compare finances, employment, immigration, family, crime, raising family, infrastructure, etc... all the things that are important.

Edited November 13, 2015 by Eric-Pris

[Boiler 43,438]

See Costa Rica mentioned a lot as a retirement destination, have thought about it.