Heart broken woman in tears!!

[Sandra G. 5,016]

Look to the past to predict your future, he TOOK 7 YEARS to visit his children, his action tells a lot about him.Sending a few dollars per month does not mean he was a present father.

I doubt your case will be approved, bUT in my opinion you have a bigger problem than Immigration. Good luck.

Edited October 28, 2015 by sandranj

[vanity08 66]

The safest bet would be to wait until you oldest is 21 and then can peition you as a parent.

The other aspect that intrigues me is when assessing the Child's petition this past history would have any impact.

The storyline is sadly not uncommon, hence all the comments. I have no idea what actually has happened but it certainly looks suspicious.

Now of to google Knocking ceremony, presumably has something to do with knocked up.

lol , In Ghana a person can just do the knocking and that is it,( traditional wedding). depending on the person, they can use that has the wedding or have another/white wedding

[Boiler 43,546]

lol , In Ghana a person can just do the knocking and that is it,( traditional wedding). depending on the person, they can use that has the wedding or have another/white wedding

Knocking on the door seems the use. But you can see the confusion.

From what I saw there is the knocking on the door that later leeds to a traditional service once all the aspects have been agreed where she says 3 times that she will marry.

When someone says knocking, do they mean just the first part or all of it?

[marleym 9]

OP, I mean no disrespect and I don't think anyone is judging you but this doesn't sound quite right. Others have asked for SPECIFIC dates to get a better grasp of the situation but your posts only add more ambiguity to the story and you have yet to answer those questions - so now the question is WHY are you avoiding giving an exact timeline. Just reading it, I'm sitting here like, wait, so was the husband married to you both at the same time? I personally do not understand the timeline of events so I can imagine a CO felt the same. Answering Dwheels76 VERY specific questions may help others give you better advice. Good luck.

[vanity08 66]

Knocking on the door seems the use. But you can see the confusion.

From what I saw there is the knocking on the door that later leeds to a traditional service once all the aspects have been agreed where she says 3 times that she will marry.

When someone says knocking, do they mean just the first part or all of it?

it all depends on the family, first visit is the boy/man making his intention know. but, but, some people can say we don't have time we all busy people, (especially if the man/woman is away not present at the time, meaning in UK, USA ,Netherlands etc, they do everything on the spot, no need to come back again) to answer the question, it can be done on the spot, depending on the family, or if they are not sure, they will advice you on a date to come back.

[dwheels76 5,463]

I know this may not be what you want to hear but it just seems off. Your children are approved which means you gave permission probably signed a document giving permission for them to immigrate. Not saying he did this but could this all been his plan to woo you so he could have his children with him and leave you behind.

You never stated what proof you submitted with the I-130 Petition for your bonafide relationship. Children aren't proof as we all can see.

1. What did he submit in the petition package?
2. Did he make a copy also for you so you know every single piece of evidence submitted?
3. Phone logs, IM's, emails, text, Skype, Facebook?
4. Does his Facebook vividly display you or just the kids or only his American family.?
5. Pics of wedding ongoing relationship?
6. Since he came back in 2010 how many visits?
7. For how long?

For you to go forward with this and fight it you will need his help. Like I stated before he needs to contact his congressman/Senator soonist. Did you tell him to do so? It takes only 24 hours to contact get consent letter giving them permission to act on your behalf.

Has he contacted the embassy and asked for a 2nd interview? That he will fly in?

Instead of attacking us take the advice laid out by many of us. Time is of the essence. You want your case to stay at embassy not leave. So wipe your tears buck up and fight. Or not. It's your choice.

Edited October 28, 2015 by dwheels76

[lutz 41]

It is painful, and being in pain right now, some of the comments and questions may seem harsh. I know. When I was in shock at my husband's denial, most people here on VJ really opened my eyes to why he was denied.

If your relationship is truly genuine, you have to fight it, that's all. You can't wallow too long, just a day or two.

However, something does not seem right about your husband's actions. You will have to convince the USCIS, through a lawyer would be best, that he didn't just go over there to the US, marry a USC, have a child to get firmly planted in the USA and has used the USC and is now inviting you.

You can see how this all looks to the CO.

[strongmyk 51]

Your story only sounds more fishy after you get defensive when people ask legitimate questions about your case in order to give you the full scope of advice. If your story is real, you better get a lawyer and fast.

AGREE WITH YOU 100%

ALSO I WOULD IMPLORE ON PEOPLE TO STATE FULL FACTS OF THEIR CASE WHEN THEY POST HERE RATHER THAN WITHHOLDING SOME VITAL INFO IN A BID TO COURT PUBLIC SYMPATHY

[Boiler 43,546]

AGREE WITH YOU 100%

ALSO I WOULD IMPLORE ON PEOPLE TO STATE FULL FACTS OF THEIR CASE WHEN THEY POST HERE RATHER THAN WITHHOLDING SOME VITAL INFO IN A BID TO COURT PUBLIC SYMPATHY

Sadly a common occurrence.

[strongmyk 51]

Let me summarize:

1) you have a person that you have kids with from your home country;

2) This person married USC and gained citizenship.

3) this individual, once obtained USC divorces his wife, marries you, and is trying to get you and your kids to US.

So far so good??

Now, you are asking why CO turned you down??

I can only praise CO.

COULDN'T AGREE WITH YOU MORE!

[Pennycat 880]

The lack of clear timeline and details is super confusing--- did you give more information to the CO or not? Because if not, that would be a huge reason for not believing you. It makes it look like you're hiding something. If you're not hiding anything, don't worry. Just give them all the details and proof and you should be fine.

Now the question is though-- how and when did your husband get to the US? That's the detail I assume they're hung up on. If the timeline has him marrying a USC while you were pregnant (or worse-- before you were pregnant, or you became pregnant while he was waiting for a marriage/relationship based visa), they could assume that he married her for immigration purposes alone, and once you break their trust you're going to have to fight hard to get it back. Other details they'll focus on is did the USC know about you and the children? Did HE acknowledge having children while he was in that application process? If not... again with the breaking of their trust. They always ask that question (if you have children) so depending on if he answered them truthfully or not, that could factor into the decision here.

Other details--- when did his marriage fall apart, how long after that did he marry you? Because now if they've got red flags on these other issues...too short a timeframe between the end of his marriage and petitioning for you could bring it "full circle" in their minds and it just will look like a big.... grand master scam plan. This is what you'll need to overcome. Without these details, of course, I'm just guessing. I'm not accusing you of *anything* but saying "if, if, if" as a guess as to what could be happening. No one here can help without knowing the details (and again, if you resisted providing these kinds of details to the CO that would explain it right off the bat).

[Boiler 43,546]

Possible that he got his GC through a bigamous relationship.

[PhilLuv 43]

Sorry that you are hurt. I understand that. But here is the deal .. you were married to your husband before he left for the States. It was a traditional marriage that is customary to Africans. Bride price was paid according to you, as the necessary rites were performed (correct me if I am wrong). It is legitimate. In the eyes of both families you were his wife before he travelled out of Ghana, and more so you were blessed with three children from the same man. But this is not the issue as the CO would not be able to prove either way, especially if you have not told them. However, you have three children with him, not one. I doubt that the CO in her mind did not think you are his wife, but in short that you have been his wife all along. This is a different debate that the CO would never win as it woud be a mountain to prove, however, may have weighed in on her decision to refuse the issuance of the visa.

It is not uncommon for previous spouses to rekindle their relationships, hence in your case the timeline matters. When did he get his greencard and citizenship? When did he file for divorce? How soon did he filed for his children and for you to join him? Were all the applications filed together?

In my opinion I would think the easier route for you is for your now 17 year old child to file for you when s/he settles when s/he qualifies to do so.

[Mstameka 5]

I'm truly sorry that this happen to you, and I don't think everyone is trying to be mean or upset you. Everyone in this group have the same thing in common and that is to try to bring our love ones/relative home. Since I have joined this group I have spent hours and hours reading everyone experience dealing with ghanaian embassy. Just continue to listen and get advice on what steps you need to follow. Things will get better. ☺

[arken 4,197]

We are all here trying to be with our loved ones, so nobody would just praise CO and blame you just because you are denied to be with your loved one. There is a difference in whether you are heartbroken and in tears because you are denied to be with your husband or because you are denied be in the US. That's what people over here are trying to find out so that they can give you a good suggestion.

You have not yet provided the detailed information even though so many people have asked for it. Nobody can provide the required suggestion without getting the whole picture. Based on the incomplete information you'v laid out, even average people like us have suspicion on your relationship, imagine, what was going on in that experienced CO's mind when he was presented with the same information. That's why we are asking you to provide the complete information from the start to the end detailing each and every timeline and the information provided to USCIS and the CO.

You came here and asked for suggestions and when somebody commented on your incomplete info, you got angry when in fact you should have been providing more info about why your marriage and bonafide and was not meant for immigration purpose only. You saying "I'm out" will only prove that you want to hide some information which will definitely make your whole thing suspicious.