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Age difference, he's 18 years older, problem?

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Hi,

My husband and I met online in early 2013. We began a relationship in June of 2013. We met in person January of 2014. He came to visit me in the US for 2 weeks. In June of 2014 my daughter and I went to the Netherlands and lived with him for 8 month,but I needed to return here for family reasons, including finalizing the divorce from my first husband. My daughter and I came back in March of 2015. In June we went to Barbados to be married. We stayed there for 11 days together as a family. My husband is back in the netherlands now and we are about to file our CR1 application.

My question is will our age difference hurt our chances? I am 35 and he is 53. Is it an issue if the man is older? Does it matter as much if the beneficiary is from a prosperous country?

I miss him so much every day. I just want to do this right the first time and try to avoid RFE.

Thanks!


Married in Barbados: June 10 2015

***USCIS***

Jul 20 2015: Lawyer Mailed I-130 Packet to Chicago lockbox

Aug 7 2015: I-130 NOA1 (California!!!)

Nov 17 2015: I-130 approved (102 days since NOA1)

***NVC***

Nov 25 2015: NVC received our file

Dec 11 2015: NVC case # assigned

Dec 14 2015: AOS & IV billed (same time as we have lawyer)

Dec 14 2015: Received email with case number and invoice number

Dec 15 2015: Paid AOS & IV Fees

Dec 20 2015: Fees show as "paid".

Dec 20 2015: Email expedite request (financial & medical)

Dec 31 2015: Email from NVC. EXPEDITE APPROVED!

Jan 8 2016: Mailed AOS & IV packets

Jan 11 2016: Packets delivered to NVC & marked "in transit" to consulate!

Jan 12 2016: CEAC status "READY"!

Jan 14 2016: DHL tracking shows file" delivered"

Jan 16 2016: Appointment letter (pkt4) Feb 16!!!

Feb 9 2016: Medical

Feb 16 2016: Interview/Approved!!!!

Feb 17 2016: Issued!

Feb 29 2016: POE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Together! <3

************

ROC

Feb 22 2018: ROC packet sent

Feb 26 2018: USPS confirmed delivery

Mar 10 2018: NOA1 dated March 6 2018

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His country isn't a high fraud country so it likely isn't a big deal. It can still a bit of a red flag though. Submit proof of time spent together and of a genuine relationship (including regular communication.)

Edited by NLR

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  - Dr. Seuss

 

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We were thinking of submitting 50 pages or so of chat logs. A few emails from various times in our relationship, photos of us with his family, and him with my daughter. And our flight tickets together to and from Barbados.

I tried getting his name on my lease and bank account, but they said he must be here in person to sign for those.


Married in Barbados: June 10 2015

***USCIS***

Jul 20 2015: Lawyer Mailed I-130 Packet to Chicago lockbox

Aug 7 2015: I-130 NOA1 (California!!!)

Nov 17 2015: I-130 approved (102 days since NOA1)

***NVC***

Nov 25 2015: NVC received our file

Dec 11 2015: NVC case # assigned

Dec 14 2015: AOS & IV billed (same time as we have lawyer)

Dec 14 2015: Received email with case number and invoice number

Dec 15 2015: Paid AOS & IV Fees

Dec 20 2015: Fees show as "paid".

Dec 20 2015: Email expedite request (financial & medical)

Dec 31 2015: Email from NVC. EXPEDITE APPROVED!

Jan 8 2016: Mailed AOS & IV packets

Jan 11 2016: Packets delivered to NVC & marked "in transit" to consulate!

Jan 12 2016: CEAC status "READY"!

Jan 14 2016: DHL tracking shows file" delivered"

Jan 16 2016: Appointment letter (pkt4) Feb 16!!!

Feb 9 2016: Medical

Feb 16 2016: Interview/Approved!!!!

Feb 17 2016: Issued!

Feb 29 2016: POE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Together! <3

************

ROC

Feb 22 2018: ROC packet sent

Feb 26 2018: USPS confirmed delivery

Mar 10 2018: NOA1 dated March 6 2018

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If you were 18 and he was 53, that may be something, but you are of an age that you can freely decide. I think the age difference is mostly a factor in any coercion in the relationship. In my unprofessional opinion, you should not have a problem. USCIS doesn't need proof of relationship, just proof of meeting within the last two years. Including pictures from the vacation will be great. When you get to DoS, then you will need to establish relationship and your fiance will be the one interviewed. So essentially, the officer may ask if he is taking advantage of you, but I doubt that they will. Like NLR said, proof of relationship may overcome this flag. It's probably more of a yellow flag, not really red flag; c'mon - it's the Netherlands!


K-1 fiance visa journey

 

July 22, 2014 - First connection through website ** March 4, 2015 - First meeting in person in a third country (first visa stress!) ** March 18, 2015 - Sent Form I-129F ** March 19, 2015 - Received by Dallas Lockbox at 8:09 AM CST ** March 24, 2015 - Received USCIS receipt confirmation text and e-mail at 9:04 PM CST - NOA1 ** April 7, 2015 - Received USCIS approval confirmation text and e-mail at 9:30 PM CST - NOA2 ** April 24, 2015 - Called NVC and confirmed receipt ** April 25, 2015 - CEAC.GOV reflecting embassy number as 'In NVC' ** April 29, 2015 - CEAC.GOV reflecting embassy number as 'In Transit' ** May 5, 2015 - Petition arrived at embassy - 'Ready' status ** June 14, 2015 - Received Packet 3 and 4 (Interview and document list combined) ** June 29, 2015 - Medical exam ** July 7, 2015 - Embassy interview!!...then...CEAC.GOV reflecting embassy number as 'Administrative Processing' ** August 4, 2015 - Received call from US Embassy to drop off his passport!! ** September 3, 2015 - CEAC.GOV reflecting embassy number as 'Ready' and Nonimmigrant!!!!!!! TOMORROW!.....no...still waiting... ** October 13, 2015 - CEAC.GOV reflecting 'Administrative Processing' ** October 15, 2015 - CEAC.GOV now says 'Issued' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 10, 2015 - Dallas POE! He's here

November 16, 2015 - Our marriage :)

Adjustment of Status journey ~ ROC Date December 21, 2017 ~

 

December 9, 2015 - Mailed AOS package (Day 0) ** December 10, 2015 - Received by Chicago Lockbox at 1:06 PM CST (Day 1) ** December 14, 2015 - Initiated county name change petition ** December 22, 2015 - Received USCIS receipt confirmation text and e-mail at 11:34 PM CST - NOA (Day 13) ** January 4, 2016 - Additional information delivered to NBC at 10:10 AM CST (Day 26) ** January 11, 2016 - Fingerprint fee accepted for Form I-485 (Day 33) ** January 19, 2016 - Received Selective Service registration card ** January 20, 2016 - Service request initiated and completed for biometric appointment (Day 42) ** January 23, 2016 - Received biometric letter dated January 16, 2016 (Day 45) ** February 5, 2016 - Biometric appointment (Day 58) ** February 19, 2016 - Request for Initial Evidence for EAD/AP (Day 72) ** February 25, 2016 - Received RFIE (Day 78) ** February 26, 2016 - Mailed response to RFIE (Day 79) ** February 29, 2016 - Response to RFE delivered to NBC at 11:06 AM CST (Day 82) ** March 3, 2016 - EAD status update to RFE response received March 1, 2016 (Day 85) ** March 4, 2016 - EAD/AP approved/card being produced (Day 86) ** March 9, 2016 - EAD/AP card mailed (Day 91) ** March 12, 2016 - EAD/AP received (Day 94) ** March 21, 2016 - GC approved/card being produced (Day 103) ** March 24, 2016 - GC mailed and name change completed (should have been February 4, 2016...) (Day 106) ** March 26, 2016 - Conditional GC received (Day 108)

Removal of Conditions journey ~ USC Date December 21, 2018 ~

Spoiler

December 21, 2017 - Mailed ROC package (Day 0) ** December 26, 2017 - Received by Laguna Niguel Lockbox  at 12:40 PM CST (Day 1) ** January 2, 2018 Check cashed (Day 7) ** January 6, 2018 Received NOA1 dated December 26, 2017 (Day 11) ** February 13, 2018 - Service request initiated for biometric appointment (Day 49) ** February 23, 2018 - Received service request letter response dated January 19, 2018 instructing us to wait (Day 59) ** March 5, 2018 - Case Received at Local Office (Day 69) ** June 15, 2018 - Case Transferred to Another Office (Day 171) ** June 18, 2018 - Case Transferred and New Office Has Jurisdiction (Day 174) ** August 24, 2018 - Rec'd extended NOA1 dated August 18, 2018 (Day 241) **

 

 

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Hi,

My husband and I met online in early 2013. We began a relationship in June of 2013. We met in person January of 2014. He came to visit me in the US for 2 weeks. In June of 2014 my daughter and I went to the Netherlands and lived with him for 8 month,but I needed to return here for family reasons, including finalizing the divorce from my first husband. My daughter and I came back in March of 2015. In June we went to Barbados to be married. We stayed there for 11 days together as a family. My husband is back in the netherlands now and we are about to file our CR1 application.

My question is will our age difference hurt our chances? I am 35 and he is 53. Is it an issue if the man is older? Does it matter as much if the beneficiary is from a prosperous country?

I miss him so much every day. I just want to do this right the first time and try to avoid RFE.

Thanks!

Relax because if age made the real difference in these decisions many of us wouldn't have accomplished what you are now doing. You will because whats most important here is your relationship with him which is indicated by marriage & then your ability to support him in the USA.

Coming from his country helps in many ways except in timing I think. I mean his wont be given any special status.

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We were thinking of submitting 50 pages or so of chat logs. A few emails from various times in our relationship, photos of us with his family, and him with my daughter. And our flight tickets together to and from Barbados.

I tried getting his name on my lease and bank account, but they said he must be here in person to sign for those.

Married should be enough as it was in my case . Emails from others are not worth much nor required but if you want to submit its ok. The chat stuff is way too much. They really don't have time to read all of that but again if you want to do it its fine.

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I really do not see an issue.

No flags for me.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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For what it's worth, you and your husband are approximately the same ages of my wife and me, respectively. We didn't incur any problems. Based on your visits, which are the primary evidence of a bonafide relationship, you'll probably do fine.


Marriage: 2014-02-23
CR1 started : 2014-06-06
CR1 completed : 2015-07-13 (POE)
ROC started : 2017-04-14 - CSC

N400 started: 2018-04-24

N400 interview: 2018-08-16 - Albuquerque - Approved N400 & ROC

Oath ceremony: 2018-09-24 - Albuquerque

 

April 2017 I-751 Filers Spreadsheet

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1t335PrkwxPk7sRryv02NH3vrWHy0vlkBxjmPy5VYJO8/edit#gid=0

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Thanks everyone, it definitely helps calm my nerves about this.


Married in Barbados: June 10 2015

***USCIS***

Jul 20 2015: Lawyer Mailed I-130 Packet to Chicago lockbox

Aug 7 2015: I-130 NOA1 (California!!!)

Nov 17 2015: I-130 approved (102 days since NOA1)

***NVC***

Nov 25 2015: NVC received our file

Dec 11 2015: NVC case # assigned

Dec 14 2015: AOS & IV billed (same time as we have lawyer)

Dec 14 2015: Received email with case number and invoice number

Dec 15 2015: Paid AOS & IV Fees

Dec 20 2015: Fees show as "paid".

Dec 20 2015: Email expedite request (financial & medical)

Dec 31 2015: Email from NVC. EXPEDITE APPROVED!

Jan 8 2016: Mailed AOS & IV packets

Jan 11 2016: Packets delivered to NVC & marked "in transit" to consulate!

Jan 12 2016: CEAC status "READY"!

Jan 14 2016: DHL tracking shows file" delivered"

Jan 16 2016: Appointment letter (pkt4) Feb 16!!!

Feb 9 2016: Medical

Feb 16 2016: Interview/Approved!!!!

Feb 17 2016: Issued!

Feb 29 2016: POE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Together! <3

************

ROC

Feb 22 2018: ROC packet sent

Feb 26 2018: USPS confirmed delivery

Mar 10 2018: NOA1 dated March 6 2018

Share this post


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If you were 18 and he was 53, that may be something, but you are of an age that you can freely decide. I think the age difference is mostly a factor in any coercion in the relationship. In my unprofessional opinion, you should not have a problem. USCIS doesn't need proof of relationship, just proof of meeting within the last two years. Including pictures from the vacation will be great. When you get to DoS, then you will need to establish relationship and your fiance will be the one interviewed. So essentially, the officer may ask if he is taking advantage of you, but I doubt that they will. Like NLR said, proof of relationship may overcome this flag. It's probably more of a yellow flag, not really red flag; c'mon - it's the Netherlands!

Please note the forum and visa type.

Proof of meeting once in the last 2 years applies to K1 visas not IR1/CR1 visas which need evidence of a bona fide (aka genuine) marriage.


You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  - Dr. Seuss

 

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We were thinking of submitting 50 pages or so of chat logs. A few emails from various times in our relationship, photos of us with his family, and him with my daughter. And our flight tickets together to and from Barbados.

I tried getting his name on my lease and bank account, but they said he must be here in person to sign for those.

It depends on the bank. I was able to be put onto my husband's account but they're a military bank and used to dealing with foreign spouses. My bank in Canada required his presence so we didn't bother. You may be able to add him to your car insurance (may get a better deal as well) or as the beneficiary of life insurance etc...

But time spent together and communication will serve you best as the USCIS understands newly weds won't have a lot of co-mingling.

50 pages of chat logs seems excessive. You could probably prune it down.


You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  - Dr. Seuss

 

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Please note the forum and visa type.

Proof of meeting once in the last 2 years applies to K1 visas not IR1/CR1 visas which need evidence of a bona fide (aka genuine) marriage.

Yeah, my bad. Sorry for the misinformation; my brain registered K-1 when I looked at your bio on the side. Doink!


K-1 fiance visa journey

 

July 22, 2014 - First connection through website ** March 4, 2015 - First meeting in person in a third country (first visa stress!) ** March 18, 2015 - Sent Form I-129F ** March 19, 2015 - Received by Dallas Lockbox at 8:09 AM CST ** March 24, 2015 - Received USCIS receipt confirmation text and e-mail at 9:04 PM CST - NOA1 ** April 7, 2015 - Received USCIS approval confirmation text and e-mail at 9:30 PM CST - NOA2 ** April 24, 2015 - Called NVC and confirmed receipt ** April 25, 2015 - CEAC.GOV reflecting embassy number as 'In NVC' ** April 29, 2015 - CEAC.GOV reflecting embassy number as 'In Transit' ** May 5, 2015 - Petition arrived at embassy - 'Ready' status ** June 14, 2015 - Received Packet 3 and 4 (Interview and document list combined) ** June 29, 2015 - Medical exam ** July 7, 2015 - Embassy interview!!...then...CEAC.GOV reflecting embassy number as 'Administrative Processing' ** August 4, 2015 - Received call from US Embassy to drop off his passport!! ** September 3, 2015 - CEAC.GOV reflecting embassy number as 'Ready' and Nonimmigrant!!!!!!! TOMORROW!.....no...still waiting... ** October 13, 2015 - CEAC.GOV reflecting 'Administrative Processing' ** October 15, 2015 - CEAC.GOV now says 'Issued' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 10, 2015 - Dallas POE! He's here

November 16, 2015 - Our marriage :)

Adjustment of Status journey ~ ROC Date December 21, 2017 ~

 

December 9, 2015 - Mailed AOS package (Day 0) ** December 10, 2015 - Received by Chicago Lockbox at 1:06 PM CST (Day 1) ** December 14, 2015 - Initiated county name change petition ** December 22, 2015 - Received USCIS receipt confirmation text and e-mail at 11:34 PM CST - NOA (Day 13) ** January 4, 2016 - Additional information delivered to NBC at 10:10 AM CST (Day 26) ** January 11, 2016 - Fingerprint fee accepted for Form I-485 (Day 33) ** January 19, 2016 - Received Selective Service registration card ** January 20, 2016 - Service request initiated and completed for biometric appointment (Day 42) ** January 23, 2016 - Received biometric letter dated January 16, 2016 (Day 45) ** February 5, 2016 - Biometric appointment (Day 58) ** February 19, 2016 - Request for Initial Evidence for EAD/AP (Day 72) ** February 25, 2016 - Received RFIE (Day 78) ** February 26, 2016 - Mailed response to RFIE (Day 79) ** February 29, 2016 - Response to RFE delivered to NBC at 11:06 AM CST (Day 82) ** March 3, 2016 - EAD status update to RFE response received March 1, 2016 (Day 85) ** March 4, 2016 - EAD/AP approved/card being produced (Day 86) ** March 9, 2016 - EAD/AP card mailed (Day 91) ** March 12, 2016 - EAD/AP received (Day 94) ** March 21, 2016 - GC approved/card being produced (Day 103) ** March 24, 2016 - GC mailed and name change completed (should have been February 4, 2016...) (Day 106) ** March 26, 2016 - Conditional GC received (Day 108)

Removal of Conditions journey ~ USC Date December 21, 2018 ~

Spoiler

December 21, 2017 - Mailed ROC package (Day 0) ** December 26, 2017 - Received by Laguna Niguel Lockbox  at 12:40 PM CST (Day 1) ** January 2, 2018 Check cashed (Day 7) ** January 6, 2018 Received NOA1 dated December 26, 2017 (Day 11) ** February 13, 2018 - Service request initiated for biometric appointment (Day 49) ** February 23, 2018 - Received service request letter response dated January 19, 2018 instructing us to wait (Day 59) ** March 5, 2018 - Case Received at Local Office (Day 69) ** June 15, 2018 - Case Transferred to Another Office (Day 171) ** June 18, 2018 - Case Transferred and New Office Has Jurisdiction (Day 174) ** August 24, 2018 - Rec'd extended NOA1 dated August 18, 2018 (Day 241) **

 

 

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My wife was 32 and I was 53 when we got married. We got married while she still lived in Canada so we went the I-130 rather than the K1 route. We had no problems. Our main evidence was a list of the biweekly trips she took to the USA, a lot of them supported by boarding passes.

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