Jump to content
Sarahc886

Difficult situation

20 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Hi, i dont want to tell all my story because its simply too long.

I just have a simple question. Is it always better to wait till removing conditions or divorce and fight for stay in us?

We are a marriage that is real. He was coming to my country before I got here, we love each other, and the marriage is true. We already have some.proofs to show the marriage is Bonanfide. We now buying a house on both our names. Soon we will move in probabky. My gc expires in one year.

However.. Because of many factors and living with his parents too long our love got much weaker, I don't even know if this is the way husband should be like, but anyways.

Making long story short. We will get house in one week and now I stay in friends house for a week. I could not live with him because of parents (I know I'm not bad, it's smth about them) so I'm like this now. We are married. The marriage is hard and it's hard to say if we can get along like marriage anymore but.. We agreed to try living together. Making some rules so we can live comfortably. And here is my question. Is it better to divorce now and show immigration all the situation or try living together and see what happens even if the marriage could not be real marriage anymore. I don't say I would do it for gc it was never my intention, I married him for love. But it is true I want to stay here because here is my life now.

My instinct tells me to try. I would like to see other people opinion, pepole who don't know me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello,

I empathize with you on your difficult situation. I'm no marriage expert and I think only you can tell yourself what you should do regarding your marriage. If your issues stem primarily from you living with his parents, then why not wait till you move in together and see how the marriage works out?

If you're determined to no longer be married, then you can file for your removal of conditions by yourself with a divorce waiver after your divorce is finalized. You will need to provide proof that the marriage was entered into on good faith. All the best!

Hi, i dont want to tell all my story because its simply too long.

I just have a simple question. Is it always better to wait till removing conditions or divorce and fight for stay in us?

We are a marriage that is real. He was coming to my country before I got here, we love each other, and the marriage is true. We already have some.proofs to show the marriage is Bonanfide. We now buying a house on both our names. Soon we will move in probabky. My gc expires in one year.

However.. Because of many factors and living with his parents too long our love got much weaker, I don't even know if this is the way husband should be like, but anyways.

Making long story short. We will get house in one week and now I stay in friends house for a week. I could not live with him because of parents (I know I'm not bad, it's smth about them) so I'm like this now. We are married. The marriage is hard and it's hard to say if we can get along like marriage anymore but.. We agreed to try living together. Making some rules so we can live comfortably. And here is my question. Is it better to divorce now and show immigration all the situation or try living together and see what happens even if the marriage could not be real marriage anymore. I don't say I would do it for gc it was never my intention, I married him for love. But it is true I want to stay here because here is my life now.

My instinct tells me to try. I would like to see other people opinion, pepole who don't know me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You've yet to really learn what living together is like and you acknowledge that the problems seem to arise because you are living with his parents. Try to work it out living alone with him. See where that leads, then come back here and decide how you would like to follow up.

Just don't put your safety at risk if it's going down that road.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you guys. I appreciate.

Its all true what you saying.mim afraid though that even if we start living together we would live like a roomates and lead our own lives.. How would it that look? I guess its still possible for my stautus to be posifive. Even if were like that. He never really was social person, so we dont socialize with many poepole like after work or whatever... Sometimes it seem an issue for me but when you have economical proof I guess socializing or not doesn't really interest immigration?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you guys. I appreciate.

Its all true what you saying.mim afraid though that even if we start living together we would live like a roomates and lead our own lives.. How would it that look? I guess its still possible for my stautus to be posifive. Even if were like that. He never really was social person, so we dont socialize with many poepole like after work or whatever... Sometimes it seem an issue for me but when you have economical proof I guess socializing or not doesn't really interest immigration?

If things don'e work out you can divorce and roc as long as you can prove you entered in good faith. Yes, they care more about that you two have become depedent on each other in your daily lives through billes, deeds, insurance and they like. They are going to want to see photos of you together sure, but don't care that you went out together once a month versus four.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Remember, the ROC process is not a test of whether or not your marriage lasted/failed. All couples go through hard times and having problems does not mean that you won't be approved. If you entered the marriage in good faith, that is all that matters. I see no reason why you would have to "fight to stay in the US".

From what you have said it sounds like you are trying to work things out (even if you end up divorced) and that shows that the marriage is real and worth fighting for. I think you'll be just fine. Good luck!?

Edited by Cheezees

 

 

AOS

03/24/11 - Got married in the Boogie-Down Bronx, NYC!
04/21/11 - Mailed I-130,I-765, I-485, I-864 and I-693 - Day 00

04/23/11 - Application delivered - Day 02
04/28/11 - NOA (most forms) - Day 07
05/03/11 - Checks cashed - Day 12
05/31/11 - Biometrics completed in the Bronx, NYC - Day 40
06/24/11 - Received someone else's employment authorization card!!! What the...? - Day 64
07/01/11 - Mailed the poor lady's card back after calling USCIS - Day 71
07/07/11 - Received poor lady's interview notice! What??? - Day 77
07/15/11 - Received my own EAD card - Day 85
08/12/11 - Interview. Approved on the spot! - Day 113
08/18/11 - Received card in the mail - Day 119

ROC
05/28/13 - Mailed I-751 - Day 00

05/30/13 - Application delivered - Day 02

05/31/13 - NOA I-797 - Day 03
06/04/13 - Check cashed - Day 07

06/06/13 - NOA delivered to my home/Biometrics letter generated - Day 09

06/10/13 - Received Biometrics letter in the mail - Day 13

06/27/13 - Biometrics completed in Milwaukee, WI - Day 30

09/10/13 - Application approved! - Day 105

09/14/13 - 10 year Green Card received! - Day 109

Citizenship

05/10/16 - Mailed N-400 - Day 00

05/12/16 - Application delivered - Day 02

05/13/16 - Credit card payment accepted - Day 03

05/17/16 - Received text & email update - Day 07

05/20/16 - Received 1st NOA (dated 05/13/16) & created ELIS acct - Day 10

05/21/16 - Received 2nd NOA (dated 05/16/16) confirming my DOB and address - Day 11

05/22/06 - Biometrics scheduled (online update) and appt letter was mailed on 05/20/16 - Day 12

05/24/06 - Biometrics letter became viewable online (appt scheduled for 06/07/16) - Day 14

05/27/16 - Received Biometrics letter in mail - Day 17

05/31/16 - Was denied walk-in fingerprints with just 1 person left in line. Milwaukee office, boo! - Day 21

06/07/16 - Biometrics completed in Milwaukee, WI - Day 28

12/21/16 - Passed Citizenship test/Interview was successful! - Day 197

01/26/17 - I am a US citizen!!! - Day 233

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you. As long as we can get along... I don't say. Maybe with time when we just by ourselves then thing will get back to normal.

Thanks, I just needed to see others people opinion and kind of say it at loud, because here everybody has this marriage experience :) maybe one day I will tell my story when everything is done, because it is hard story, but I will laugh at it one day :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you. As long as we can get along... I don't say. Maybe with time when we just by ourselves then thing will get back to normal.

Thanks, I just needed to see others people opinion and kind of say it at loud, because here everybody has this marriage experience :) maybe one day I will tell my story when everything is done, because it is hard story, but I will laugh at it one day :)

We've all got stories, mine could probably be a movie lol. Good luck to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, i dont want to tell all my story because its simply too long.

I just have a simple question. Is it always better to wait till removing conditions or divorce and fight for stay in us?

We are a marriage that is real. He was coming to my country before I got here, we love each other, and the marriage is true. We already have some.proofs to show the marriage is Bonanfide. We now buying a house on both our names. Soon we will move in probabky. My gc expires in one year.

However.. Because of many factors and living with his parents too long our love got much weaker, I don't even know if this is the way husband should be like, but anyways.

Making long story short. We will get house in one week and now I stay in friends house for a week. I could not live with him because of parents (I know I'm not bad, it's smth about them) so I'm like this now. We are married. The marriage is hard and it's hard to say if we can get along like marriage anymore but.. We agreed to try living together. Making some rules so we can live comfortably. And here is my question. Is it better to divorce now and show immigration all the situation or try living together and see what happens even if the marriage could not be real marriage anymore. I don't say I would do it for gc it was never my intention, I married him for love. But it is true I want to stay here because here is my life now.

My instinct tells me to try. I would like to see other people opinion, pepole who don't know me.

Your marriage is not beyond repair. Living with inlaws can be complex and usually results in what you are going through. Once you guys start living together as a couple in the absence of his parents, things will probably get better. I say, give your marriage a chance. It seems like he is not the problem but your inlaws are.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Moved from Removing Conditions on Residency Discussion to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits forum.


Our journey:

Spoiler

September 2007: Met online via social networking site (MySpace); began exchanging messages.
March 26, 2009: We become a couple!
September 10, 2009: Arrived for first meeting in-person!
June 17, 2010: Arrived for second in-person meeting and start of travel together to other areas of China!
June 21, 2010: Engaged!!!
September 1, 2010: Switched course from K1 to CR-1
December 8, 2010: Wedding date set; it will be on February 18, 2011!
February 9, 2011: Depart for China
February 11, 2011: Registered for marriage in Wuhan, officially married!!!
February 18, 2011: Wedding ceremony in Shiyan!!!
April 22, 2011: Mailed I-130 to Chicago
April 28, 2011: Received NOA1 via text/email, file routed to CSC (priority date April 25th)
April 29, 2011: Updated
May 3, 2011: Received NOA1 hardcopy in mail
July 26, 2011: Received NOA2 via text/email!!!
July 30, 2011: Received NOA2 hardcopy in mail
August 8, 2011: NVC received file
September 1, 2011: NVC case number assigned
September 2, 2011: AOS invoice received, OPTIN email for EP sent
September 7, 2011: Paid AOS bill (payment portal showed PAID on September 9, 2011)
September 8, 2011: OPTIN email accepted, GZO number assigned
September 10, 2011: Emailed AOS package
September 12, 2011: IV bill invoiced
September 13, 2011: Paid IV bill (payment portal showed PAID on September 14, 2011)
September 14, 2011: Emailed IV package
October 3, 2011: Emailed checklist response (checklist generated due to typo on Form DS-230)
October 6, 2011: Case complete at NVC
November 10, 2011: Interview - APPROVED!!!
December 7, 2011: POE - Sea-Tac Airport

September 17, 2013: Mailed I-751 to CSC

September 23, 2013: Received NOA1 in mail (receipt date September 19th)

October 16, 2013: Biometrics Appointment

January 28, 2014: Production of new Green Card ordered

February 3, 2014: New Green Card received; done with USCIS until fall of 2023*

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you. As long as we can get along... I don't say. Maybe with time when we just by ourselves then thing will get back to normal.

Thanks, I just needed to see others people opinion and kind of say it at loud, because here everybody has this marriage experience :) maybe one day I will tell my story when everything is done, because it is hard story, but I will laugh at it one day :)

Sarah, some marriages are all lovey-dovey all the time. Some marriages are lovey-dovey at the first, then settle into two people who live together, but don't actually share each minute with each other. Some marriages are between two people who yell at each other all the time. And some marriages work because people DON'T live together (like long-distance marriages). You and your spouse will have to figure out what kind of marriage you will have. And it might change as you both (or alone) go through life's challenges.

My own opinion is that couples who LIKE each other, and who can be good friends with each other can weather the hard times more easily. Some days you do wake up and say "who is that person on the other side of the bed, and why did I fall in love with them!?!?!?!" Sometimes you need to take some breaks from each other. If you really like your spouse for who s/he is, then it is worth it to work on the marriage.

Good luck to you. I'm sure your story is full of twists and turns!

Sukie in NY


Spoiler

 

Spoiler

Our Prior Journey

N-400 Naturalization

18-Feb-2018 - submitted N-400 online, credit card charged

18-Feb-2018 - NOA1

12-Mar-2018 - Biometrics 

18-June-2018 - Notice of interview received

26-July-2018 - Interview  - APPROVED!!!

26-July-2018 - Oath Ceremony Scheduled

17-Aug-2018 - Oath Ceremony

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, i dont want to tell all my story because its simply too long.

I just have a simple question. Is it always better to wait till removing conditions or divorce and fight for stay in us?

We are a marriage that is real. He was coming to my country before I got here, we love each other, and the marriage is true. We already have some.proofs to show the marriage is Bonanfide. We now buying a house on both our names. Soon we will move in probabky. My gc expires in one year.

However.. Because of many factors and living with his parents too long our love got much weaker, I don't even know if this is the way husband should be like, but anyways.

Making long story short. We will get house in one week and now I stay in friends house for a week. I could not live with him because of parents (I know I'm not bad, it's smth about them) so I'm like this now. We are married. The marriage is hard and it's hard to say if we can get along like marriage anymore but.. We agreed to try living together. Making some rules so we can live comfortably. And here is my question. Is it better to divorce now and show immigration all the situation or try living together and see what happens even if the marriage could not be real marriage anymore. I don't say I would do it for gc it was never my intention, I married him for love. But it is true I want to stay here because here is my life now.

My instinct tells me to try. I would like to see other people opinion, pepole who don't know me.

If you married for love, why not truly try and move in together and go from there. At the end of the day it's not about his parents or anyone else it's between you and him if you don't try you will never know

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think your instincts and your heart are in the right place, and for this I think like the others here - you need and deserve 'together time'. This is a time to endure, and bite your lip and not say things that can't be taken back.

Once together, living and depending on each other and growing together without the stresses of parents sometimes pushing your loyalties, when we know your loyalty should always be to your spouse first, it's hard when parents make us choose sides sometimes when we are dependent on them - they don't realise it's so corrosive.

I'd say wait, see how it goes, and re-kindle that spark :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
 
Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Ask our VJ Immigration Lawyers.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
- Back to Top -


Important Disclaimer: Please read carefully the Visajourney.com Terms of Service. If you do not agree to the Terms of Service you should not access or view any page (including this page) on VisaJourney.com. Answers and comments provided on Visajourney.com Forums are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Visajourney.com does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. VisaJourney.com does not condone immigration fraud in any way, shape or manner. VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. All reported threads/posts containing reference to immigration fraud or illegal activities will be removed from this board. If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by contacting us here with a url link to that content. Thank you.
×