Imported Filipino brides share the ups and downs of settling in America

[Janelle2002 3,865]

Lets move away from making this thread about other posters.

The poster has made it about himself. Please reread his posts. He has clearer stated his relations or relationships with thousands of women in the U.S. and abroad, particularly in the Philippines. The poster has also been married to multiple Filipino women, so his insight is important to the discussion at hand.

Edited May 12, 2015 by Janelle2002

[decocker 7,198]

Lets move away from making this thread about other posters.

hard to do when the conversation moves to posters talking about themselves.

[GandD 5,966]

Its fine, but if it turns into a bash fest, I'll have to do stuff. And I don't wanna do stuff. That's why i said "move away from" yanno? Debate is fine, lets just avoid the axe grinding. Just trying to help keep the thread open.

[decocker 7,198]

Its fine, but if it turns into a bash fest, I'll have to do stuff. And I don't wanna do stuff. That's why i said "move away from" yanno? Debate is fine, lets just avoid the axe grinding. Just trying to help keep the thread open.

i don't want to bash him. i just wanted to correct him. there isn't a man alive that has had 1200 relationships. relations, yes.

[GandD 5,966]

i don't want to bash him. i just wanted to correct him. there isn't a man alive that has had 1200 relationships. relations, yes.

You're fine.

[decocker 7,198]

You're fine.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

Don't confuse me wanting to be a good wife with being a submissive. I'm not one of those too-good-to-cook and be bothered to clean the house. I don't nag him to death when he comes home from a long day at work or make him feel like nothing he ever does is good enough. But don't think for one second that he will be able to make me do anything against my will. I don't feel I owe him anything. Its about us partners trying to contribute what we can to the relationship. He works, I manage the house. I am very comfortable with my role and contributions. My mother taught me how to be a good wife. But my mom didn't raise a slave, nor a fool.

NatureBoy, pretending until we beat men senseless is a little extreme . Sure, we are cute little firecrackers. I think you just have a little bit "more personality" that's why the wife runs after you with the walis. Have you been keeping your hands to yourself?

You nailed it.

I was joking about beating me, most of the time anyway

[TBoneTX 43,058]

Folks, a dozen off-topic posts have been removed. Topic, please.

[TBoneTX 43,058]

Three more off-topic posts removed. Return to topic, please.

[decocker 7,198]

ridiculous. seriously. please keep in mind all of the posts you must similarly remove every.single.time. somebody around here makes a bs comment about me and drugs. and then go ahead an remove this one si man.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

C'mon, val. I mean, even a druggie must have her interest piqued by 1200 notches in the bedpost.

Back to topic -- you, I and everyone we know understand that the reality is that women cannot be categorized as being "submissive" or "too independent" by country of origin. It's simply not true, and it's insulting to women to be looked upon as breeds of dogs. We are individuals first, the amalgams of nature and nurture that we are, just like men. Just like men! Fancy that. There are differences in general between the genders, yes. It's asinine to pretend that women and men are identical. But as human beings we are alike in being individuals and having agency.

The problem comes (and this is something I touched on in another thread) when men or women fetisihize another person simply for being from a particular nationality or race, without regard to that person's individuality taken as a whole, in the belief that "all Filipinas are like this" or "all Swedish men are like that." It erases the individual and makes their otherness the focus of desire. It's almost as if the person objectifying refuses to see the individual beyond the fetishized characteristic. To me, this is distasteful and dehumanizing. This is different from being attracted to someone initially because of what they look like. Perhaps you're attracted to the looks of Nigerian women or Peruvian men. So what! It's the step that goes beyond the initial attraction -- getting to know a person for the individual -- that (at least to me) makes the beginnings of a good relationship. Getting stuck on "well, I only date Latinas because they're fiery and have wicked curves" is going to land you with a string of, dunno, 1200 relationships because you don't bother -- or care to bother -- to learn about the person you're with.

[spookyturtle 9,465]

C'mon, val. I mean, even a druggie must have her interest piqued by 1200 notches in the bedpost.

Back to topic -- you, I and everyone we know understand that the reality is that women cannot be categorized as being "submissive" or "too independent" by country of origin. It's simply not true, and it's insulting to women to be looked upon as breeds of dogs. We are individuals first, the amalgams of nature and nurture that we are, just like men. Just like men! Fancy that. There are differences in general between the genders, yes. It's asinine to pretend that women and men are identical. But as human beings we are alike in being individuals and having agency.

The problem comes (and this is something I touched on in another thread) when men or women fetisihize another person simply for being from a particular nationality or race, without regard to that person's individuality taken as a whole, in the belief that "all Filipinas are like this" or "all Swedish men are like that." It erases the individual and makes their otherness the focus of desire. It's almost as if the person objectifying refuses to see the individual beyond the fetishized characteristic. To me, this is distasteful and dehumanizing. This is different from being attracted to someone initially because of what they look like. Perhaps you're attracted to the looks of Nigerian women or Peruvian men. So what! It's the step that goes beyond the initial attraction -- getting to know a person for the individual -- that (at least to me) makes the beginnings of a good relationship. Getting stuck on "well, I only date Latinas because they're fiery and have wicked curves" is going to land you with a string of, dunno, 1200 relationships because you don't bother -- or care to bother -- to learn about the person you're with.

So you're sayin' that there are CABA chicks who don't eat Cheetos or wear sweatpants, are fit, sexy, hot and aren't grueling nags?

[Ban Hammer 12,836]

I know a lot about woman, I am what you would call a Mans Man

wasnt't that line the advertisement for the above movie?

[B_J 2,752]

you, I and everyone we know understand that the reality is that women cannot be categorized as being "submissive" or "too independent" by country of origin. It's simply not true, and it's insulting to women to be looked upon as breeds of dogs. We are individuals first, the amalgams of nature and nurture that we are, just like men. Just like men! Fancy that. There are differences in general between the genders, yes. It's asinine to pretend that women and men are identical. But as human beings we are alike in being individuals and having agency.

The problem comes (and this is something I touched on in another thread) when men or women fetisihize another person simply for being from a particular nationality or race, without regard to that person's individuality taken as a whole, in the belief that "all Filipinas are like this" or "all Swedish men are like that." It erases the individual and makes their otherness the focus of desire. It's almost as if the person objectifying refuses to see the individual beyond the fetishized characteristic. To me, this is distasteful and dehumanizing. This is different from being attracted to someone initially because of what they look like. Perhaps you're attracted to the looks of Nigerian women or Peruvian men. So what! It's the step that goes beyond the initial attraction -- getting to know a person for the individual -- that (at least to me) makes the beginnings of a good relationship. Getting stuck on "well, I only date Latinas because they're fiery and have wicked curves" is going to land you with a string of, dunno, 1200 relationships because you don't bother -- or care to bother -- to learn about the person you're with.

Every time we have a thread about "People from region/country X are better than Americans",or the always popular, "what's wrong with women/men from the US", we should just make this the first response and then close the thread.

[Umka36 781]

When I make a generalization comment/comparison of women from her country, she tells me to lay off reading Wikipedia. I'm slowly learning not to cast people into groups, but it's a hard process to unlearn.