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Happygirl007

Worth mistake I ever made!

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Australia
Timeline

For those who are asking, "Why are you still with him?!" Abuse can be very, very complicated. I'm not justifying and even suggesting that she stay with him, but abuse is more than, "Oh, he just hit me. Guess I'll leave. See ya!" It's usually coiled up with emotional manipulation, too, such as groveling, bargaining etc the next day or what have it.

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Filed: Timeline

No one deserves an abusive marriage. You're worth much more than that, and his immigration concerns aren't yours at this point! If you want to get divorced- he won't automatically lose his green card if you divorce before ROC. There's plenty of posters on here that divorced before ROC. I hope you look into some domestic violence resources in your city. Maybe marrying him was a mistake, but you can move on from it. Don't let staying with him be the worst mistake you make. You have an opportunity to move on!

Edited by brownbella
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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Jordan
Timeline

As others are saying, you are under no obligation to file for his ROC. That's his problem. Walk away.

07/19/12 - Married

Adjustment of Status from F-1 Student Visa: Day 00 - 07/20/12 - Sent I-130, I-485, I-765, I-131

Day 03 - 07/23/12 - Confirmation from USPS that package was received in Chicago - signed for by D Colonna

Day 11 - 08/03/12 - Acceptance confirmation texts and emails

Day 14 - 08/06/12 - Checks cleared

Day 18 - 08/10/12 - Received biometrics appointment notice (dated 08/06/12 for appointment on 08/30/12)

Day 22 - 08/14/12 - Completed biometrics via successful walk-in at Columbus, OH office (We were the only ones there!)

Day 25 - 08/17/12 - Received NOAs

Day 36 - 08/28/12 - Notice via text of interview on 10/02/12

Day 38 - 08/30/12 - Received interview notice hard copy

Day 65 - 09/24/12 - Notice via text of I-131 approval

Day 71 - 10/02/12 - Interview

Day 71 - 10/02/12 - Text messages of APPROVAL of I-130 and I-485 - Card in Production

Day 78 - 10/09/12 - Received Welcome Notice

Day 80 - 10/11/12 - Received Conditional Green Card

Removal of Conditions: Day 00 - 07/07/14 - Sent I-751

Day 03 - 07/10/14 - Confirmation from USPS that package was received in California

Day 07 - 07/14/14 - Check cleared

Day 07 - 07/14/14 - Received NOA (dated 07/10/14)

Day 14 - 07/21/14 - Received biometrics appointment notice (dated 07/17/14 for appointment on 08/01/14)

Day 18 - 07/25/14 - Completed biometrics via successful walk-in at Columbus, OH office (We were the only ones there...again!)

Day 38 - 08/14/14 - Text message of APPROVAL of 1-751 - Card in Production

Day 43 - 08/19/14 - Notice via text indicating card has been mailed

Day 44 - 08/20/14 - Notice via text with USPS tracking number

Day 46 - 08/22/14 - Received Permanent Green Card

Naturalization: Day 00 - 08/21/15 - Sent N-400

Day 03 - 08/24/15 - Confirmation from USPS that package was received in Arizona

Day 07 - 08/28/15 - Check cleared

Day 10 - 08/31/15 - Acceptance confirmation text and email

Day 14 - 09/04/15 - Received NOA (dated 08/28/15)

Day 24 - 09/14/15 - Received biometrics appointment notice (dated 09/05/15 for appointment on 09/21/15)

Day 28 - 09/18/15 - Completed biometrics via successful walk-in at Columbus, OH office

Day 32 - 09/22/15 - Notice via text and email indicating in line for testing and interview

Day 35 - 09/25/15 - Notice via text and email indicating interview is scheduled

Day 41 - 10/01/15 - Received interview appointment notice (dated 09/28/15 for appointment on 11/03/15)
Day 73 - 11/03/15 - Interview

Day 74 - 11/04/15 - Text message of APPROVAL of N-400 - Oath Ceremony Scheduled

Day 75 - 11/05/15 - Received Oath Ceremony appointment notice (dated 11/04/15 for appointment on 11/17/15)

Day 87 - 11/17/15 - Oath Ceremony - US CITIZEN

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Canada
Timeline

Physical abuse can be reported the the police, and they can help you. Or, go to a family or friend. Or, a women's shelter. Just get away from him. Then you can have the space to figure out what to do next. There is a way out, and there is help. I wish you a speedy exit. Don't let him sweet talk you into staying any more.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

Get pictures, or copies, police reports, (pictures of injuries) and write a letter to USCIS.,.,.,.with all your identification numbers identifying him and you, and tell them you will not be supporting his filing for ROC.,.,.,he can file this on his own, please correct me if I am wrong.,.,.,but if you submit your significant evidence, to the right agencies,.,.,.,YOU will get relief.

Another thing..,.,..,.get the ""HE--"" away from him.,.,.,.,.,today, before you really get hurt!

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Filed: Timeline

Thank you all for your support and concern, this is a very hard decision that any women wants to make especially knowing that it's her husband the man who she married for love. It been many years we have been together that I guess it's true you never get to know someone not even after spending so many years together.

I would like to say to you all please go with you gut if you feel something isn't right go with it! It's a beautiful love story while they are still back home but once they are here there true colors come out. I'm going through a very tough and emotional state of mind. I just ask for strength! I don't wish this feeling to no one!

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Filed: Timeline

Having been in an abusive marriage but having stayed in it, I can say this... there is no magic way to walk the middle ground. What you really want, I'm pretty sure, is for him to change. It's very hard to realize that's not going to happen. You can't say "Sweetheart, I love you, but if you don't change I will not file your ROC" and have him say "Oh Darling, I want my green card so much, suddenly I want you so much." You probably tried, as I did, to "get along by going along" but there's going to come a certain point where you may have to do things that will antagonize him beyond the point of no return.

One thing you have to figure out it, what would happen if you really truly dumped him and told him he was completely on his own. Seriously, do you have money, a job, a place to live, is he physically dangerous to that point? My wife could call me horrible names, but I was always pretty sure she would not track me down to physically abuse me, and money and a home weren't an issue for me.

As for ROC, you don't have to right to veto his ROC. You do have the right to provide information to USCIS. It will not be definitive, any more than his information will be definitive. He will not be denied ROC simply because he abused you. Suppose hypothetically he married you, lived with you, combined finances, did things with you and your friends and family, but at some point he just became abusive. I don't mean to offend you, but a police report could be just one time that he lost his temper. Verbal abuse is hard to prove. The point is, abuse is not an automatic disqualification. But you can give USCIS the reasons you think the marriage was fraudulent, which information will come into play at ROC time.

When his I-751 is due, assuming you refuse to file jointly, he will be able to file with a divorce waiver, and they are extremely lenient about accepting such filings. Pretty much all he will have to do is file with a waiver, and then initiate the divorce by the time they issue an RFE. The divorce won't even have to be final. He will not necessarily know any information you provide to USCIS if you ask it to be confidential, but he will know you refused to file a joint I-751.

I've been in your exact position, a combination of wanting the person I love to treat me like I should be treated, and resentful that they are potentially getting a green card as a reward for a marriage they gave nothing to. You can't get the marriage you want, and the green card is not yours to give or deny.

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Sorry to hear about your situation. I agree with the other person, you should seek advice from a lawyer. Hopefully USCIS can be sensitive to your situation.

I hope things work out for the best!

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Filed: Other Country: Brazil
Timeline

Tuckin 14 with a police report or even with a restraining order he would be screwed, USCIS won't renew the GC if the alien has a restraining order because of DV, because of that USCIS ask to see the court disposition for those with restraining order ,If the reasons is DV his case is over here.

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Argentina
Timeline

Having been in an abusive marriage but having stayed in it, I can say this... there is no magic way to walk the middle ground. What you really want, I'm pretty sure, is for him to change. It's very hard to realize that's not going to happen. You can't say "Sweetheart, I love you, but if you don't change I will not file your ROC" and have him say "Oh Darling, I want my green card so much, suddenly I want you so much." You probably tried, as I did, to "get along by going along" but there's going to come a certain point where you may have to do things that will antagonize him beyond the point of no return.

This person is correct he won't change.

His abuse is not your fault. My ex-husband was extremely abusive as well, so I know the story. You two get in a fight, he gets physical (I got physical back, thanks to a decade of MMA training). The next day you're shaken, bruised and terrified it will happen again, trying to figure out how to get out, but he's price charming; doing everything for you, and treating you how he did when you fell in love with him. You continue to be nervous, but eventually he wears you down with his good behavior and your walls lower again, and that escape plan slowly becomes less important. You make excuses for him, it was only that once, and he swears it'll never happen again... so you decide to stay (for me, it was for our children). Then it happens again... sometimes it's not for years, other times months. Sometimes they threaten you and your loved ones if you leave, or don't do what they want.

Manipulating you gives them a sense of power, as they feel they have no control over themselves or their lives. Leaving you always jumping, and wondering when the ax will fall, is easier than putting forth real effort in a relationship. They never have to take responsibility because they shoulder it all on you. If you start to think for yourself again? They just jar you with another outburst, so you're too terrified to fight, and just walking on eggshells to keep the peace.

Now that I'm married again to a very loving, affectionate, man in a healthy relationship... I can tell you this. You can find love again, you deserve it, and what he's doing is NOT okay, and will NEVER be okay. He's not a man, he's an overgrown child throwing a temper tantrum and blaming you for it.

Contact a woman's shelter, they will be your biggest asset when defending yourself in court for a divorce and for immigration. The police reports and the pictures is very helpful. Start seeing a therapist, that can also be used in court/immigration to prove abuse, and that you're seeking treatment. I also personally recommend it as it can help a TON.

Move out right away, go stay with someone where he cannot get to you, friends, family, women's shelter, a hotel, anything; things will only get worse from here - not better. If you own a home together (i.e. your name is also on the mortgage), continue to the pay the mortgage, if you lease/rent have the landlord remove your name from the lease. Shut off any utilities in your name, remove your name from any and all joint accounts, any joint loans you'll need to continue to pay for your credit's sake. File for divorce immediately. He legally cannot sell/give away a THING once you file for divorce... marital assets are to be split evenly if sold, and cannot be done without your permission. Get a divorce lawyer who is familiar with immigration. If you have children, remove them from the home with you. File for temporary emergency custody if he's the biological or custodial father. The police report and abuse case should be enough to grant that. Get a restraining order.... trust me.

Gather as much physical evidence that committed immigration fraud, any emails, voice-mails, IMs or texts he sent where he stated that he entered the marriage for a green card. Record with video ANY INTERACTIONS between himself and yourself. Encourage your family do so as well. Video is admissible in court as evidence. Voice recordings can be altered, video is much more difficult. If you catch him on video claiming this it is fantastic evidence.

You don't have to worry about the RoC, he can file it himself, but you need to protect yourself and your loved ones.

This is how I managed to do so with my mentally unstable ex. Any evidence you can gather of him admitting to visa and GC fraud, pass along to immigration. They will investigate the matter and will likely deny him an RoC if not remove him from the country as soon as they get their hands on him.

Good luck, and I hope you nail the wanker to the tree for doing this to you. Your love is not expendable, and you deserve the happiness he so hollowly promised.

Edited by d3adc0d3

~ Don't forget to 'Vote Up' useful advice from others ~

K1 Visa Journey [April 11, 2013 - August 31, 2014]
[2014-09-20] !!! WEDDING !!!
[2014-09-22] Applied for SSN
[2014-09-26] Marriage License in Snail Mail
[2014-10-22] Notification of SSC in mail, will arrive "within 2 weeks"
[2014-10-27] SSC Arrived!

2015-04-30] Mailed AOS Package!
[2015-06-16] EAD Approved!
[2015-06-16] AP Approved!
[2015-06-23] EAD/AP Card Received!

[2015-10-02] AOS Approved (No Interview)!

[2015-10-07] Greencard Mailed

[2015-10-09] Approval Notice Recieved

[2015-10-09] Greencard Recieved!

I used RapidVisa for my petition; a paperwork service. A K1 is $375.00 to use their hassle-free online application system.

Useful Links:
Igor's List | Advanced Search Tool | Q&A With a Former USCIS Adjudicator
Visa Status Checker (Once you get a Case # from NVC) | Offical USCIS Reasons for a K1 Denial

The advice offered by this user is not legal advice. You should contact an attorney to obtain legal advice.

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