PLEASE HELP , I NEED HELP

[SingleDad2usc 71]

I must explain my advice to APPLY for pro-bono divorce attorney IMMEDIATELY. It may take a month or two for you to receive your first appointment with such FREE attorney. But the time will not start counting down - before you apply!!

So if you can afford to pay attorney's fees (which is probably thousands of dollars) then don't apply. But if you can't afford that, then get (in patient line) today!

[fatimazahrae 5]

yes Sarah i understand u perfectly , sweet woman like you who don't prefer to request restraining order against him, just because of her value i understand , we are from the same country , culture, i do understand u, but like you said you should have the opportunity to speak to counselors inside of thinking too much

and one think like DARNELL he said the case might be dropped, on court day, the knowledge people here can help you concerning your status because you just came to US, if they drop the case will you be able to remove the condition on your card by yourself , based on domestic violence or no ? ask this question if they drop the case , because you are helping him now in way or another, that means when he love to divorce you, you may don't be able to get another card based on violence,

they will answer you don't worry

[Darnell 8,478]

yes Sarah i understand u perfectly , sweet woman like you who don't prefer to request restraining order against him, just because of her value i understand , we are from the same country , culture, i do understand u, but like you said you should have the opportunity to speak to counselors inside of thinking too much

and one think like DARNELL he said the case might be dropped, on court day, the knowledge people here can help you concerning your status because you just came to US, if they drop the case will you be able to remove the condition on your card by yourself , based on domestic violence or no ? ask this question if they drop the case , because you are helping him now in way or another, that means when he love to divorce you, you may don't be able to get another card based on violence,

they will answer you don't worry

Pardon - OP is the LPR, not the husband.

Husband is a USC.

regardless of dropping the case or no,

it , in no way affects her immigration status

or

her ability to file RoC alone, based on a divorce.

this concept of 'getting another card' based on violence, doesn't work, based on her visa type, green card type - it's a slog that is not even needed. What would work? divorce, then file the RoC.

[christeen 966]

Living in the same house while there is an open active case could make you look un cooperative and limit your options to get help... Go to a shelter... Get so e time on your own away from the whole situation.... Do not, I repeat DO NOT just go and stay together in the house with him... It will hurt any future help you may ask for!

[fatimazahrae 5]

Pardon - OP is the LPR, not the husband.

Husband is a USC.

regardless of dropping the case or no,

it , in no way affects her immigration status

or

her ability to file RoC alone, based on a divorce.

this concept of 'getting another card' based on violence, doesn't work, based on her visa type, green card type - it's a slog that is not even needed. What would work? divorce, then file the RoC.

yes this is what i meant her ability to file ROC lone based on a divorce because he abused her, i have seen in some post something like waiver ..

if she help him and if the case may be droped , then what ? she will be able to RC alone ?

.i was just letting her know to do not help him now ,

[Cathi 5,624]

Just to let everyone know Sara will be calling me tonight and speaking to my husband in Arabic so she can understand what people here are throwing at her. She has very limited understanding of English let alone all of the legal jargon people are telling out. My husband spoke to her two days ago and she knew exactly what she needed to do in order to stay safe and get the help she needs and she was doing a great job working towards that. She was under the assumption he couldn't post bail and he would be in jail until at least his court date on Wednesday. that gave her time to get her ducks in a row. Then all of a sudden he posted bail and showed up on the doorstep. Now she has no idea what to do or who to turn to to get out the home. She has no money, no license, no car.

My husband and I will do our best to help and as soon as he gets home from work, we will be on it....

[rhein 451]

Good to hear.

May I suggest that for her own safety (she doesn't even drive) that she file the restraining order and stay in the house while she plans her next moves? He instigated this, let him crash on someone's couch....

Just to let everyone know Sara will be calling me tonight and speaking to my husband in Arabic so she can understand what people here are throwing at her. She has very limited understanding of English let alone all of the legal jargon people are telling out. My husband spoke to her two days ago and she knew exactly what she needed to do in order to stay safe and get the help she needs and she was doing a great job working towards that. She was under the assumption he couldn't post bail and he would be in jail until at least his court date on Wednesday. that gave her time to get her ducks in a row. Then all of a sudden he posted bail and showed up on the doorstep. Now she has no idea what to do or who to turn to to get out the home. She has no money, no license, no car.

My husband and I will do our best to help and as soon as he gets home from work, we will be on it....

[SingleDad2usc 71]

[sigh]...dearest mimolicious, your heart is in such right place...but dear, look what happened: you just said "My husband spoke to her two days ago and she knew exactly what she needed to do in order to stay safe and get the help she needs and she was doing a great job working towards that."

Reality: yesterday, Sara refused the restraining order over the phone; and with that one word, she lost her place to live. Also yesterday, she wrote that she wants to give it some time before making decisions (read: she wants to give this marriage another chance). 100% of this forum participants dis-advised that. Are you advising that?

Someone replied that she didn't need a lawyer - meaning criminal lawyer, because she is not criminally accused. But she badly needs QUALIFIED help. Something a lawyer can provide. It may take a week to 10 weeks to get a free (pro-bono) lawyer - she should apply to get a family (or divorce) lawyer. Did someone find for her where to apply locally?

[Merrytooth 5,748]

[sigh]...dearest mimolicious, your heart is in such right place...but dear, look what happened: you just said "My husband spoke to her two days ago and she knew exactly what she needed to do in order to stay safe and get the help she needs and she was doing a great job working towards that."

Reality: yesterday, Sara refused the restraining order over the phone; and with that one word, she lost her place to live. Also yesterday, she wrote that she wants to give it some time before making decisions (read: she wants to give this marriage another chance). 100% of this forum participants dis-advised that. Are you advising that?

Someone replied that she didn't need a lawyer - meaning criminal lawyer, because she is not criminally accused. But she badly needs QUALIFIED help. Something a lawyer can provide. It may take a week to 10 weeks to get a free (pro-bono) lawyer - she should apply to get a family (or divorce) lawyer. Did someone find for her where to apply locally?

Do you speak Arabic yourself? Otherwise you should keep to yourself and let mimolicious help her.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

that's why I'm addressing mimolicious, who has direct communication with Sara

[Cathi 5,624]

[sigh]...dearest mimolicious, your heart is in such right place...but dear, look what happened: you just said "My husband spoke to her two days ago and she knew exactly what she needed to do in order to stay safe and get the help she needs and she was doing a great job working towards that."

Reality: yesterday, Sara refused the restraining order over the phone; and with that one word, she lost her place to live. Also yesterday, she wrote that she wants to give it some time before making decisions (read: she wants to give this marriage another chance). 100% of this forum participants dis-advised that. Are you advising that?

Someone replied that she didn't need a lawyer - meaning criminal lawyer, because she is not criminally accused. But she badly needs QUALIFIED help. Something a lawyer can provide. It may take a week to 10 weeks to get a free (pro-bono) lawyer - she should apply to get a family (or divorce) lawyer. Did someone find for her where to apply locally?

Where did I EVER state that that I want her to give it time? Read my prior posts. My husband made it perfectly clear to her that she needs to get a restraining order and get as far away from him as she possibly can. You are losing a lot in translation, she has very limited understanding of the English language, and she said specifically a few responses ago she wants to get away from him, that she is NOt willing to give him another chance, she wants a divorce, I'm not sure where you are getting she said she refused to get a restraining order, she never said that..that IS what she wants. I know what her reality is, my husband knows what her reality is and we would NEVER advise Sara to stay in a dangerous situation...EVER go back and re-read what I have written. In fact my husband said to her in exact words(in arabic) "I'm talking to you as though you are my own sister and your safety is THE most important thing, get away from him, get a restraining order and speak to the domestic violence people who can get you a translator and spell everything out for you step by step. Even if you are afraid to tell your family you must". Sara did tell her sister and is working up the courage to tell her Dad. She is brand new in this country and doesn't have a single friend or relative here. She is scared and confused, and she was trying to work towards getting help when her husband showed up on her doorstep when she was under the impression he would be in jail until at least his hearing on Wednesday. Bottom line she has the qualified help in her area. people who are helping her. We gave her the info, so did the police. And tonight my husband will talk to her and convey all the of information respected members of this forum have advised.

Edited April 28, 2014 by mimolicious

[Cathi 5,624]

Good to hear.

May I suggest that for her own safety (she doesn't even drive) that she file the restraining order and stay in the house while she plans her next moves? He instigated this, let him crash on someone's couch....

she doesn't have a license

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Great job mimolicious, and lets hope Sara executes according to your advice. If you read everything she posted yesterday, she went opposite...So you're the savior to explain to her tonight what she needs to do, and in what order.

If someone has a similar situation in NYC: go to 350 Jay St. This is Family Justice Center set-up on directive of Mayor Bloomberg. They give you an appointment with pro-bono lawyers in corresponding specialty - but you have to way in-line after your initial application

[belinda63 2,984]

She needs time to think and to understand what is happening. The culture she is from is very different from the US. In some Muslim countries a man can kill his wife and suffer no consequences. (please don't jump on me, it is usually limited to small villages but it does still happen).

She has zero knowledge of how the US justice system or the police work. She does not understand anything that is going on. She thought she would have until Wednesday to figure things out and talk to the right people He returned home unexpectedly. And she has no transportation.

The courts will appoint an advocate to assist her through the process. Between the advocate and the domestic violence center in her area she should receive good advice specific to the area she is in. Each county handles domestic violence arrests differently. The mosque can provide her with people who can emotionally support her.

Right now she needs time.......away from him.....to figure out what is going on and to get herself together.

And there is no need for her to obtain an attorney. That is just stealing resources from people who need them. As I said the court advocate and the domestic violence workers will give her the guidance and advice she needs.

Edited April 28, 2014 by belinda63

[SingleDad2usc 71]

well here we have a disagreement: if she is steadfast that this marriage is over, then she'll need a family (divorce)attorney soon enough. Then why not apply tomorrow? The application intake includes an opportunity to briefly see a lawyer; not the lawyer who will eventually be assigned to take her case pro-bono, but still an experienced lawyer. If this lawyer sees fit that she needs to do something in preparation for May 5th court, this lawyer will advise her accordingly