A Moroccan man just gave me some advice...you may not like it tho....

[Rosesarered 11]

Double post

Edited January 5, 2014 by Rosesarered

[Rosesarered 11]

The desire to help does nothing, people in the immigration process are so blinded by lust that nothing will open their eyes. In the SubSarahan group there are people that don't like the hate when warning people they are being scammed they actually drop me a PM to speak up in case I missed the topic. We have seen the 419 classics of my fiance/spouse has been in an accident after being mugged and is in a coma in the hospital people refuse to see the light when told to run quickly you are being scammed and robbed. It is beyond amazing what someone is willing to overlook in exchange for some over the top person attention.

Do you mean that the men say they were mugged to get money from their petitioner or? But I know what you are saying about women get (and maybe men also) so defensive or protective of their spouse/liver if you bring something they can not see to their attention, it's like you are trying to steal their heart and dreams from them and they desperately want to protect it.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Yes scammers invent all sorts of excuses for a USC fiance/spouse to send money to help usually at very inflated prices via local standards. Nigerians have managed to invade the dating sites like e harmony and get tens of thousands of dollars from women they have never met under the guise of being a rich ( usually white ) business man needing help to get home. Some have managed to pull the same scam on people they have met face to face, building quite nice homes on their made up disasters. From Nigeria it is almost always a woman 15 years or more older than the man although I am personally aware of one case where it was the reverse.

[Darnell 8,478]

I am divorcing my Moroccan husband of 7 years and although it took me the last 3 years to get the courage to end it as I was just very unhappy in the marriage (my husband was nothing like the man I thought I had married from morocco once he was here) he was always nice, polite, cordial (great at customer service) we also worked together in my business for 4.5 years he never wanted to go do anything accept hang around the house or sleep. Prefered to stay home and cook meals and we rarely ate a meal out it was basically no fun at all and I felt like I was going to die!

Anyways...a Moroccan friend of mine gave me this advice which shocked me! he urged me to listen to him and believe him and said he tells American women this all the time but they rarely listen until it's too late and than they cry to him that they should have listened! his advice...Do not marry any Moroccan man especially if he is younger.

he said it is well known in morocco that the men lie to women to get a visa, than (maybe what my husband did to me) they will try to do things to make their wife unhappy so she will divorce them so they will be free. He said they will tell you anything and they practice learning what works to make women fall in love with them.

He said no Moroccan man wants an olfpder wife unless she is rich so he can get her money and if she is older iphe will wait to get her wealth. He said they all want a virgin wife from morocco. He kept apologizing for telling me this and for what I went through with my husband but he was very adamant about it. He said it makes him feel bad because he see' sit all the time and it is a disgusting tradition his people are known for. I was sickened and of course I am heart broken but it makes sense to me now. My husband whom goes to the mosque all the time and was very jealous of me....is looking for sex on craigslist lol (does not know I get the messages) and he is a completely different guy than the one he was in front of my face! It's shocking! I just hope I save someone else even one woman from wasting 7 years of her youth. I know no one whom is still with their husbands from when I was on here years ago. if it's too good to be true...guess again....

I've read of this here, over the _years_,as well.

[sandinista! 1,816]

Plenty of people respond to or at least look closer at their situations when offered good advice here. It's not all heads in the sand all the time. Plenty of long, interesting threads on this exist. There's a difference between some of the really good dialogues that have taken place, and throwing out random thoughts from some random Moroccan guy talking out of his ####### like it's gospel.

[alicia98981 128]

Plenty of people respond to or at least look closer at their situations when offered good advice here. It's not all heads in the sand all the time. Plenty of long, interesting threads on this exist. There's a difference between some of the really good dialogues that have taken place, and throwing out random thoughts from some random Moroccan guy talking out of his ####### like it's gospel.

Please point me in the right direction so that I can stop being paranoid before I marry my Moroccan man. . .

[Rosesarered 11]

Please point me in the right direction so that I can stop being paranoid before I marry my Moroccan man. . .

Alicia98981 I will console you as much as you like. I promise I am not 100% jaded I am just a lot smarter and now streetwise lol. Just when you read thing on the internet as well as here keep in mind that sometimes when people are hurt badly they are also angry and become bias. you might know this already. but I will tell you that because it takes a great deal of time to REALLY know the true intention of your future mate/partner especially given the miles/distance and the undisputed fact that absence makes the heart grow fonder it's a task most kick to the curb. You have to be your own master and commander and be prepared to go thru a lot even if you marry him and he is finally here. K1 is by far the smartest although he can still be on best behavior before the wedding and for a time after. We are so blind in love (Darn that) but at least you will have more time to reverse things is they have proven your choice in him to be a bad one. Never forget that after all of this visa hullabaloo....you WILL go thru the worst challenges once he is actually here...he will need you to take him everywhere as he won't be able to drive right away (if he knows how to drive yet) he will need to get over being away from his family and being in this culture (that in itself is stressful for any new immigrant and there are things you never imagine that will play into that alone like half dresses girls in the supermarket may surprise him and how much people blab about every intimate detail of their life to strangers not to mention girls out right flirting and seeing men checking out his wife blatantly ) I remember my husband getting really upset at me because I said " hey! You know what we should do?" He thought to refer to him as "hey" was extremely rude! And it goes on and on depending upon your specific guy/girl. Actually being together will be a lot harder sometimes than the visa process! I remember thinking back to the love I felt for my husband in waiting for him to get is visa and when visiting him in his country and bonding with his wonderful loving family, and wondering where that guy went LOL and believe me it kept me ignoring his behavior here for years until I couldn't take it anymore. I remember so many language misunderstandings ...if you know France you will be so much better off. The language is reversed in so many things. My husband would say "she" when in fact he meant "he" and would lead me to think he was going someplace with a woman not a man. Or he would tell me the water was so warm and I would jump into a freezing pool instead! Or I would ask him if he could do something or take care of something and late find it not done and be annoyed about it only to find he had meant he meant he "could not" do it. It goes on and on and you will need the patience god only gave the saints lol

[sandinista! 1,816]

Please point me in the right direction so that I can stop being paranoid before I marry my Moroccan man. . .

the guy who wants to get here asap so he can join the air force, you're having doubts about? Smdh.

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

Alicia98981 I will console you as much as you like. I promise I am not 100% jaded I am just a lot smarter and now streetwise lol. Just when you read thing on the internet as well as here keep in mind that sometimes when people are hurt badly they are also angry and become bias. you might know this already. but I will tell you that because it takes a great deal of time to REALLY know the true intention of your future mate/partner especially given the miles/distance and the undisputed fact that absence makes the heart grow fonder it's a task most kick to the curb. You have to be your own master and commander and be prepared to go thru a lot even if you marry him and he is finally here. K1 is by far the smartest although he can still be on best behavior before the wedding and for a time after. We are so blind in love (Darn that) but at least you will have more time to reverse things is they have proven your choice in him to be a bad one. Never forget that after all of this visa hullabaloo....you WILL go thru the worst challenges once he is actually here...he will need you to take him everywhere as he won't be able to drive right away (if he knows how to drive yet) he will need to get over being away from his family and being in this culture (that in itself is stressful for any new immigrant and there are things you never imagine that will play into that alone like half dresses girls in the supermarket may surprise him and how much people blab about every intimate detail of their life to strangers not to mention girls out right flirting and seeing men checking out his wife blatantly ) I remember my husband getting really upset at me because I said " hey! You know what we should do?" He thought to refer to him as "hey" was extremely rude! And it goes on and on depending upon your specific guy/girl. Actually being together will be a lot harder sometimes than the visa process! I remember thinking back to the love I felt for my husband in waiting for him to get is visa and when visiting him in his country and bonding with his wonderful loving family, and wondering where that guy went LOL and believe me it kept me ignoring his behavior here for years until I couldn't take it anymore. I remember so many language misunderstandings ...if you know France you will be so much better off. The language is reversed in so many things. My husband would say "she" when in fact he meant "he" and would lead me to think he was going someplace with a woman not a man. Or he would tell me the water was so warm and I would jump into a freezing pool instead! Or I would ask him if he could do something or take care of something and late find it not done and be annoyed about it only to find he had meant he meant he "could not" do it. It goes on and on and you will need the patience god only gave the saints lol

I agree with your point that living together can be more challenging than the initial waiting for visa period, but if your husband is the scammer/cheater you think him to be, a lot of these gripes you mention seem rather asinine in the grand scheme of things, don't you think?

I saw that thread about the Moroccan fiance who wants to join the Air Force. His fiancee should do something about those doubts before making a decision that's hard to undo. My half cent, for what it's worth.

[alicia98981 128]

I agree with your point that living together can be more challenging than the initial waiting for visa period, but if your husband is the scammer/cheater you think him to be, a lot of these gripes you mention seem rather asinine in the grand scheme of things, don't you think?

I saw that thread about the Moroccan fiance who wants to join the Air Force. His fiancee should do something about those doubts before making a decision that's hard to undo. My half cent, for what it's worth.

I have doubts because I read the stories on here about lying spouses while searching for other topics. none of you can lie and say It hasn't crossed your mind or find its way at the back of your head at least once, especially when everyone around you is telling you you're a fool for marrying some one from a foreign country. If it's one place i thought i could go without criticism or judgement, it's here. Marriage is a big life change and I don't want to just jump into it with our being absolutely certain I'm making a good decision, particularly since im marrying someone from a country of high fraud. Furthermore my fiance expressed interest in joining the air force so that he could start working right away, its easy work and why not serve the country he's going to make his new home? The judgement and negativity of the people who are supposed to be supporting others of the same experience, meeting and marrying someone from a foreign country, is really sad and makes question whether its worth anyone's time participating in these forums. . . .

[alicia98981 128]

the guy who wants to get here asap so he can join the air force, you're having doubts about? Smdh.

you're passing a lot of judgement for someone who is married to a foreigner. Please fall off your high horse . . .

[Cathi 5,610]

I have doubts because I read the stories on here about lying spouses while searching for other topics. none of you can lie and say It hasn't crossed your mind or find its way at the back of your head at least once, especially when everyone around you is telling you you're a fool for marrying some one from a foreign country. If it's one place i thought i could go without criticism or judgement, it's here. Marriage is a big life change and I don't want to just jump into it with our being absolutely certain I'm making a good decision, particularly since im marrying someone from a country of high fraud. Furthermore my fiance expressed interest in joining the air force so that he could start working right away, its easy work and why not serve the country he's going to make his new home? The judgement and negativity of the people who are supposed to be supporting others of the same experience, meeting and marrying someone from a foreign country, is really sad and makes question whether its worth anyone's time participating in these forums. . . .

Since WHEN is the Air Force easy work????? Did I just read that????????????

[sandinista! 1,816]

This website serves a bigger purpose for a lot of people in international relationships than just visa stuff, and that's great. But time after time there's just so much cart before the horse. K-1 visas are not trial offers. A) because, they aren't. And B) because, especially in high fraud countries like Morocco, they are extremely difficult to acquire when people are approaching them like they're trial offers. As it should be. It's actually probably not hard enough though, considering. People with paranoia or doubts or questions about the intentions of their MENA fiancé are not even remotely close to be even starting to think about anything to do with visas and immigration. That has got to be addressed before anything else, IMHO. People often get so wrapped up in all the visa stuff, which is so stressful anyways, that they're in no position to be scrutinizing relationship stuff adequately, clearly, and fairly. And while that's an ongoing process, in any relationship, the time and place for addressing the bulk of it is so very, very far before thinking about immigration. Much less having those concerns about a guy who is chomping at the bit to get over here already, abandon his lifelong citizenship and loyalties to the country of his birth and pledge military allegiance to a whole new place he's never even visited before, let alone lived in. I'm sorry, that just sounds flipping crazy. But what the heII do I know, high horsed wife of foreigner that I am...

Edited January 9, 2014 by sandinista!

[alicia98981 128]

Since WHEN is the Air Force easy work????? Did I just read that????????????

when you get in the military and you make that life style commitment then you come and talk to me about what is easy and hard. It is easy. Sign up, do your job, follow the rules, too easy.

[alicia98981 128]

That's a much better response than that ####### you posted above. Good to know you feel like a know it all since you've been through the process. Good for you. I'd rather have doubts and wait before entering a marriage than go blindly into without without stopping and thinking more on it, especially when everyone you know is against the marriage in the first place which they have no problem expressing. So what do you know? Nothing. Nothing about me or us enough to sit behind a keyboard and hand out judgement based on a comment on a public forum. A single sentence comment. Really ma'am? Realy? In that one comment you have determined my whole relationship with my fiancee? I asked for advice on using the best judgement on ensuring that you're not marry someone using you for a green card not ridiculing me for having thoughts of paranoia occasionally after reading the post above. Especially one coming from the same country I'm marrying a man from! You have a good night ma'am, and I hope in future when people seek advice from someone who has been through the process, particularly those coming from Morocco, you will have the decency at least find something positive to say than being a negative Nancy. Unless you have something nice to say that's contributing to the better of the overall movement of any particular post I suggest you keep your rude and mean comments to yourself!