Make a baby?

[elle13 15]

So I'm the new immigrant, arrived in summer this year and started a job. It's a career I really love and I've been working for 3 months. I see myself working here in the long term.

My husband and I really want to start trying to conceive but I feel like it's too soon from a career standpoint. How long should I wait before it's appropriate to start trying? I'm 28 and think many would advise that I still have time.

[TBoneTX 45,447]

Nothing is guaranteed; you could find that you're an incredibly fertile couple or that you'll never be able to conceive. In addition, jobs have a way of being impermanent. With that in mind, the decision is up to you.

I'm reminded about our Stokes interview at the consulate. The interviewer asked me three times how many children we wanted, and three times I said, "Whatever God gives us." To me, it would have been the height of arrogance to name a specific number. He finally moved on to other intrusive questions.

Edited December 16, 2013 by TBoneTX

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

Some people might say that, but I think if you are ready as a couple you should think about it. We found out at 26/27 that we were going to need IVF. It was totally unexpected but I am glad that we knew sooner rather than later because what is a 40-50% chance of success at IVF at our age, drops to 15% at 35 and like 2% after 40.

[elle13 15]

Thanks. I guess I'm trying to find out what the norm is in corporate America. I was with my previous firm for 4 years (in England) and don't remember anyone having babies so soon after they started a job.

[TBoneTX 45,447]

There are anti-discrimination policies in Federal law. You can find those rather easily through an Internet search, and read your company's Employee Handbook.

[luckytxn 2,264]

Pop them out now. That way you have a better chance to enjoy life again at the earliest possible age.

So I'm the new immigrant, arrived in summer this year and started a job. It's a career I really love and I've been working for 3 months. I see myself working here in the long term.

My husband and I really want to start trying to conceive but I feel like it's too soon from a career standpoint. How long should I wait before it's appropriate to start trying? I'm 28 and think many would advise that I still have time.

[Kajikit 65]

A career is never more important than a family (if it is, do you really want to be a parent at all? Plenty of people just don't, and that's okay...) While well-meaning people will tell you 'you've got plenty of time', there's absolutely no way to know how long it's going to take you until you start trying... it might be a year, or two - or you might 'catch' on the very first attempt. Or you might be like us and never be able to make a child at all. In that case, the sooner you find out the better because the more time you'll have to save money for very expensive alternatives. (not trying to be pessimistic here, but fertility is never something to take for granted until you know how your body works...)

[elle13 15]

Thank you for your input. Yes we do want to be parents.

I feel emotionally ready, but am worried about financial and career repercussions. We have a little bit saved up, but are right now still renting (the savings are being set aside for a down payment for a home purchase). I don't want to bring my baby up in hardship and want the very best for any potential child. I've looked through the legal protections and am pretty clear on that. However, thought of losing my job or being overlooked for a promotion because I got pregnant so soon after joining the company concerns me. Yes, there are minimum federal and state protections but they are simply that - minimal. Right now, I am the sole breadwinner as my husband is still in college (he switched careers) and doesn't graduate for another 1.5 years. I am also pretty serious about my career although if we do end up pregnant right now, I wouldn't prioritise my job above my child. My husband thinks I am overthinking this and that we should take a leap of faith.

It's encouraging to hear your feedback. Yes jobs are impermanent, and I could lose it tomorrow.

[luckytxn 2,264]

If the husband thinks you are over thinking then you are. Stop it as it drives normal people crazy.

Thank you for your input. Yes we do want to be parents.

I feel emotionally ready, but am worried about financial and career repercussions. We have a little bit saved up, but are right now still renting (the savings are being set aside for a down payment for a home purchase). I don't want to bring my baby up in hardship and want the very best for any potential child. I've looked through the legal protections and am pretty clear on that. However, thought of losing my job or being overlooked for a promotion because I got pregnant so soon after joining the company concerns me. Yes, there are minimum federal and state protections but they are simply that - minimal. Right now, I am the sole breadwinner as my husband is still in college (he switched careers) and doesn't graduate for another 1.5 years. I am also pretty serious about my career although if we do end up pregnant right now, I wouldn't prioritise my job above my child. My husband thinks I am overthinking this and that we should take a leap of faith.

It's encouraging to hear your feedback. Yes jobs are impermanent, and I could lose it tomorrow.

[Darnell 8,478]

Pop them out now. That way you have a better chance to enjoy life again at the earliest possible age.

I concur !

Avail yerself of the Family Leave Medical Act.

Tis the Holiday Season, best time to be making a baby (IMO).

Thank you for your input. Yes we do want to be parents.

I feel emotionally ready, but am worried about financial and career repercussions. We have a little bit saved up, but are right now still renting (the savings are being set aside for a down payment for a home purchase). I don't want to bring my baby up in hardship and want the very best for any potential child. I've looked through the legal protections and am pretty clear on that. However, thought of losing my job or being overlooked for a promotion because I got pregnant so soon after joining the company concerns me. Yes, there are minimum federal and state protections but they are simply that - minimal. Right now, I am the sole breadwinner as my husband is still in college (he switched careers) and doesn't graduate for another 1.5 years. I am also pretty serious about my career although if we do end up pregnant right now, I wouldn't prioritise my job above my child. My husband thinks I am overthinking this and that we should take a leap of faith.

It's encouraging to hear your feedback. Yes jobs are impermanent, and I could lose it tomorrow.

Aha ! Other info, so I change my input.

You stay on birth control until a point in time, 6 months past his hire date on the new job, after he graduates college.

[Kev-N-Ann 45]

Avail yerself of the Family Leave Medical Act.

+1 on the FMLA, but she's only been working 3 months, she don't qualify yet.

[Niels Bohr 72]

In my opinion, once you have a baby, your life will evolve around the baby. Keep that in mind.