After citizenship husband leaves me and 2 kids behind.

[Peter_Pan 661]

The voice of experience has spoken.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

The voice of experience has spoken.

Yes, I do have experience in observing karma fly past me and land on the appropriate target.

Won't be your bait for a mod whipping so have a nice day.

Back to our scheduled program.

OP, you should not have to defend yourself over the comments from people who just don't get it with American divorce law and who is entitled to what.

Wanna- be- arm- chair- lawyers !

In certain countries the woman is lucky to get a few crumbs thrown at her while the man skips into the sunset with wifey #2 abondoning his children and I have read enough of those archaic comments to last me a while.

You are doing the right thing and are on your way to a better life and I wish you the best.

[Darnell 8,478]

Want some poo on your face too?

Why would I deign to accept poo from you?

Over the past 6 months, every time there's a new topic in the Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits forum,

you come in and chastise the OP.

Why to do that? Seriously - WHY? People aren't looking to get judged by you , they are looking for advice on what to do ! Yet you choose to sling the poo and tell everyone 'how you feel' against the OP. #######? Who does that?

I have answers to that, as to 'who does that', but I'm keeping a modicum of control on this one reply.

I'll simply ask you - Please stop slinging yer poo. You've a largish pile now, enough that you've created a pattern of poo slinging in an attempt to castigate someone seeking help.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

So you want to punish him. Okay then.

You really have a problem with support issues, don't you?

The OP needs to seek a divorce lawyer who will calculate the allowable support based upon family income. Who knows - it may be more than $1500 a month, it may be less?

[Caryh 5,206]

Everyone has a bias in certain areas. Its usually easier to see others bias when they don't align with own, and hardest to see our own. The ops seem like a complex case, as family income is based on business that will probably be judged to be owned 50/50 between husband and wife.

You really have a problem with support issues, don't you?

The OP needs to seek a divorce lawyer who will calculate the allowable support based upon family income. Who knows - it may be more than $1500 a month, it may be less?

[james&olya 1,121]

Peter_pan luckily the court recognizes that it is not in the interest of the child to be with the most financially stable parent, but with the one that is involved the most. And if the one most involves cannot afford it, then the one with the money has to step in.

Alimony is a necessary evil, it is not fair sometimes but it often protects the weak. Its existance gives women in bad situation a chance to protect themselves and their children.

Coming from a poor country I saw a lot of abuse on women and children from men who say " I bring the money so I make th rules" so kids and women live in terror at the hands of abusers.

You are behind the times! While not coming soon enough to help me, the courts now recognize that children need BOTH parents, both the financially stable parent who can show his or her children that working and being productive is an important part of life as well as the parent who wishes to live a life of dependency and entitlement. I think the past practice of punishing the hard-working parent by taking away his children and his income is at least partly responsible for the huge increase of those within our society who expect to live their lives without working just like they saw their mothers able to do. A mother who chooses not to work and contribute financially to her children's support is just as much a 'deadbeat' parent as is the father who tries to get out of supporting them! Children need the example of hard work so that they can grow up wishing to emulate the success of that parent.

[skiptex 225]

Barbara.. i hope you have got a Divorce lawyer by now..

expect support from VJ..

but LEGAL advice from Lawyer.. good luck.. sorry to hear about your divorce

[james&olya 1,121]

If a spouse whether it he or I walks out a marriage then that spouse is considered at fault.

Not necessarily. If an abused spouse 'walks out of a marriage' most of us congratulate them and reassure them that they did the right thing. Even then we may not really understand the dynamics of who was at fault and by what percentage blame should be assigned. I take your story at face value and as such, I feel your soon-to-be-ex is a jerk and deserves probably worse than what he will get in divorce court. You are right, of course, that the over-riding principle should be what is best for your children. I hope they will get to benefit from a decent father or father figure involved in their lives. And I hope they see the example of loving parents that also believe in being hard-working and productive citizens. Fortunately we know they have a loving mother who is looking out for them!

[BarbSami 32]

BarbSami - there are two Romanian Harpies that step in on each post about divorce, and sling poo.

You've experienced both of them in yer topic here. IMO/E, ignore them - they will never have a deep understanding of how things work in America.

I really do not concern myself with comments that are meant to be negative. The business in question was started with money from my saving. I am only requesting half of what I feel is due to my children and I. Since I have live in Alabama my entire life, I would think I should know how the law are applied here.

Edited May 7, 2013 by BarbSami

[BarbSami 32]

Barbara.. i hope you have got a Divorce lawyer by now..

expect support from VJ..

but LEGAL advice from Lawyer.. good luck.. sorry to hear about your divorce

I do have a divorce attorney, but what can be done he is not even in the country. Thank for the advice and Things happen in life whether we expect them to or not. ...... Barbara

Not necessarily. If an abused spouse 'walks out of a marriage' most of us congratulate them and reassure them that they did the right thing. Even then we may not really understand the dynamics of who was at fault and by what percentage blame should be assigned. I take your story at face value and as such, I feel your soon-to-be-ex is a jerk and deserves probably worse than what he will get in divorce court. You are right, of course, that the over-riding principle should be what is best for your children. I hope they will get to benefit from a decent father or father figure involved in their lives. And I hope they see the example of loving parents that also believe in being hard-working and productive citizens. Fortunately we know they have a loving mother who is looking out for them!

Yes of course you are right, but my comments only refers to my situation.

[BarbSami 32]

Why would I deign to accept poo from you?

Over the past 6 months, every time there's a new topic in the Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits forum,

you come in and chastise the OP.

Why to do that? Seriously - WHY? People aren't looking to get judged by you , they are looking for advice on what to do ! Yet you choose to sling the poo and tell everyone 'how you feel' against the OP. #######? Who does that?

I have answers to that, as to 'who does that', but I'm keeping a modicum of control on this one reply.

I'll simply ask you - Please stop slinging yer poo. You've a largish pile now, enough that you've created a pattern of poo slinging in an attempt to castigate someone seeking help.

It's ok, I am a teller at a local bank. I deal with the best of the best and the worst of the worst.

[BarbSami 32]

Yes, I do have experience in observing karma fly past me and land on the appropriate target.

Won't be your bait for a mod whipping so have a nice day.

Back to our scheduled program.

OP, you should not have to defend yourself over the comments from people who just don't get it with American divorce law and who is entitled to what.

Wanna- be- arm- chair- lawyers !

In certain countries the woman is lucky to get a few crumbs thrown at her while the man skips into the sunset with wifey #2 abondoning his children and I have read enough of those archaic comments to last me a while.

You are doing the right thing and are on your way to a better life and I wish you the best. Thanks and I do not.

[skiptex 225]

I do have a divorce attorney, but what can be done he is not even in the country. Thank for the advice and Things happen in life whether we expect them to or not. ...... Barbara

oh my ;(

[daliroya 7]

I'm very sorry for all you are going through. Your children will miss their father and no amount of child support can replace that. Tunisian men typically love their children and are good fathers.

As I understand this thread, your husband is no longer in the states. I recommend you familiarize yourself on Tunisian law. Tunisia can NOT send money out of Tunisia. How is he going to be sending the $1,500? I realize you have not accepted his offer, but it is something to be aware of. It may be that he is planning on paying you from his portion of the business. The idea that you could get any money OUT of Tunisia as someone mentioned in one of the posts...(something about you are entitled to half of what he sent back home) is extremely difficult.

Also, he can not remarry in Tunisia until he is divorced. Tunisia does not allow multiple wives. You can get someone to get his birth certificate because marriage is registered on the birth certificate in Tunisia. Then you will know if he has re-married.

Be very aware of the law and don't go to Tunisia with your children unless you have investigated all the laws of parental rights. Typically, the father has custody and the children would not be allowed to leave.

Finally, Tunisians are not "backward" people who only obey their mothers. This is a very "Westernized" muslim country and if he has lived in the states for 10 years, he has made his own choice. Perhaps he longed for his own culture or he fell in love with someone else. But don't let him off the hook because he had to do what his mother said. He did what he wanted.

Again, I'm sorry for your suffering and don't see that you're trying to "scare" any others who are married to internationals. We all enter any relationship with our eyes open and face the risks of heartbreak. Continue to seek legal advice, go slowly, take care of yourself and your children. I would encourage you to talk to your family. They may have more insight into this than you realize. God bless you.

[BarbSami 32]

I'm very sorry for all you are going through. Your children will miss their father and no amount of child support can replace that. Tunisian men typically love their children and are good fathers.

As I understand this thread, your husband is no longer in the states. I recommend you familiarize yourself on Tunisian law. Tunisia can NOT send money out of Tunisia. How is he going to be sending the $1,500? I realize you have not accepted his offer, but it is something to be aware of. It may be that he is planning on paying you from his portion of the business. The idea that you could get any money OUT of Tunisia as someone mentioned in one of the posts...(something about you are entitled to half of what he sent back home) is extremely difficult.

Also, he can not remarry in Tunisia until he is divorced. Tunisia does not allow multiple wives. You can get someone to get his birth certificate because marriage is registered on the birth certificate in Tunisia. Then you will know if he has re-married.

Be very aware of the law and don't go to Tunisia with your children unless you have investigated all the laws of parental rights. Typically, the father has custody and the children would not be allowed to leave.

Finally, Tunisians are not "backward" people who only obey their mothers. This is a very "Westernized" muslim country and if he has lived in the states for 10 years, he has made his own choice. Perhaps he longed for his own culture or he fell in love with someone else. But don't let him off the hook because he had to do what his mother said. He did what he wanted.

Again, I'm sorry for your suffering and don't see that you're trying to "scare" any others who are married to internationals. We all enter any relationship with our eyes open and face the risks of heartbreak. Continue to seek legal advice, go slowly, take care of yourself and your children. I would encourage you to talk to your family. They may have more insight into this than you realize. God bless you.

My family will say what they said when I told them I was marrying him... Do not marry him and I am really not ready to hear " I told you so" Thanks for all of the advice and I am weighing my options, not moving too fast. He can marry whom he wish. I am hurt, but I could never look at him again. If he loved his children so much he would not have just abandon them, even if he wanted to divorce me. He made his choice and my choice is to protect my children future. My children will not travel to Tunisia if he ask to see them he can whenever he like, but he will not take them anywhere, Thanks, Barbara