After citizenship husband leaves me and 2 kids behind.

[BarbSami 32]

This is an emotional time for me. I have been married for 10 years June7th 2013, A month ago my husband walked out on me and two kids. I am not angry but hurt. It has been so overwhelming for me and the kids. Actually I didnt even know he had left until i called him to see why was he late and didnt receive an answer from his cell, Then later that night one of a mutal friend came by to explain to me he wanted a divorce.

This was so shocking to me that I didnt know what to say, he proceeded to tell me that my husband mom had been pressuring him to divorce me to marry a girl from home. ok, but what about the children we have together. Almost 12 years he and I had together lot of time spent with the immigration process. Out of respect he should of explain things to me, maybe I wouldnt agree but atleast we could have came to an mutual understanding, I knew we had different cultural background but I never would or could of imagine that he would ever do something like this to us, We got alone fine, didnt have any major problems and we always communicated.

Forget about me what about the children. Finally I get to talk to him , he proceeds to tell me he has consulted with an attorney and wants me to sign divorce papers. I asked him what happen he could not say anything. He said he offered me an agreement which was 1500. month, I told him that if he wants out thats fine but he will not take everything away from the children, Anyways I told him I need an attorney due to the fact what he was offering me was not fair. We have assets that I know is worth way more than he is offering me. Also he has 2 account overseas that I found out about going through paperwork. Anyways when I told him I would rather a judge settle this he proceeds to tell me that he is not standing before any judge.

I told him that if you want a divorce you have to be fair with me and the childrens. It is no concern of mines except the welfare of my children. He says to me that he has to support his family back home. Honestly, my concern is my children, This is truly sad we married in 2004 on a K-1. where did this come from I could not tell anyone because none of it makes sense to me. I really do not know what to think about any of it. My only concern is protecting myself and my children, Barbara

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I am sorry you're going through this.

I suggest you hire an attorney. You've been married long enough you should get a decent amount of support depending on how good your attorney is.

He got his citizenship in Sept 2011. Over a year ago. I doesn't appear this is an immigration issue.

[ingrid_rachel 18]

Are you kidding me??? His mom is telling your husband to divorce because she wants him to marry a girl from his country???? After 10 years of marriage???? Is he a mama´s boy or something like that??? I´m so sorry for you. How are you and the kids??? Please, take care of your kids and keep them away from your husband´s family. You never know what can happened...

[BarbSami 32]

I lived with him almost 10 years if there was a problem with the marriage I would have known. Most women know when there a problem with thier mate, There was none Im sure.

[BarbSami 32]

Are you kidding me??? His mom is telling your husband to divorce because she wants him to marry a girl from his country???? After 10 years of marriage???? Is he a mama´s boy or something like that??? I´m so sorry for you. How are you and the kids??? Please, take care of your kids and keep them away from your husband´s family. You never know what can happened...

i am not kidding. The hurtful part is I have to hear this from a friend. He can have the divorce but I wont let him take from my children, I am the one that made the money, He is back at home, but my children will be financially stable.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Know the local culture before filing. how you are raised will never leave you.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

This is an emotional time for me. I have been married for 10 years June7th 2013, A month ago my husband walked out on me and two kids. I am not angry but hurt. It has been so overwhelming for me and the kids. Actually I didnt even know he had left until i called him to see why was he late and didnt receive an answer from his cell, Then later that night one of a mutal friend came by to explain to me he wanted a divorce.

This was so shocking to me that I didnt know what to say, he proceeded to tell me that my husband mom had been pressuring him to divorce me to marry a girl from home. ok, but what about the children we have together. Almost 12 years he and I had together lot of time spent with the immigration process. Out of respect he should of explain things to me, maybe I wouldnt agree but atleast we could have came to an mutual understanding, I knew we had different cultural background but I never would or could of imagine that he would ever do something like this to us, We got alone fine, didnt have any major problems and we always communicated.

Forget about me what about the children. Finally I get to talk to him , he proceeds to tell me he has consulted with an attorney and wants me to sign divorce papers. I asked him what happen he could not say anything. He said he offered me an agreement which was 1500. month, I told him that if he wants out thats fine but he will not take everything away from the children, Anyways I told him I need an attorney due to the fact what he was offering me was not fair. We have assets that I know is worth way more than he is offering me. Also he has 2 account overseas that I found out about going through paperwork. Anyways when I told him I would rather a judge settle this he proceeds to tell me that he is not standing before any judge.

I told him that if you want a divorce you have to be fair with me and the childrens. It is no concern of mines except the welfare of my children. He says to me that he has to support his family back home. Honestly, my concern is my children, This is truly sad we married in 2004 on a K-1. where did this come from I could not tell anyone because none of it makes sense to me. I really do not know what to think about any of it. My only concern is protecting myself and my children, Barbara

Do you require opinions (of which I have much) or just venting?

$1,500 a month for child support for 2 kids is very reasonable in my opinion (I pay way less than that for four kids just as an FYI). If you prefer to drag yourself and the kids through a messy divorce trial then go for it and you may get more or less (not sure what state you leave in).

Right now you're going through an emotional state which is understandable but be practical if you can.

I will say this. The courts and family court advocates will give you an intoxicating amount of power, I ask that you balance that with the best interest of the children in mind (not their federal grant payback incentive interest but your children's real interest). Your Husband might have left you but he did nto leave the children. The very first advice that we give family combatants on here is to never be alone with the adversary. That your Husband chose not to take you on could be a blessing in disguise for your family.

I wish the children the best, the adults will be okay in very short order.

PS: Two accounts in Africa could be worth very little.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Read this post on what happened to an upstanding Husband that tried to work things out with his Wife.

Frankly I salute your Husband for not facing you directly and I am sure that he will take care of the kids as evidenced by his very generous offer of $1,500 a month. Two kids don't need that much expense in a month.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/428589-marriage-fraud-and-false-domestic-abuse-charges-after-i-751-filed/?p=6207863

[BarbSami 32]

Read this post on what happened to an upstanding Husband that tried to work things out with his Wife.

Frankly I salute your Husband for not facing you directly and I am sure that he will take care of the kids as evidenced by his very generous offer of $1,500 a month. Two kids don't need that much expense in a month.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/428589-marriage-fraud-and-false-domestic-abuse-charges-after-i-751-filed/?p=620

1500. is not fair when the assets gross over 200,000. a year. I have mortage,medical dental vision insurance for the kids , they have to eat have clothing and I should be able to make thier lives as normal as possible. It would require me to spend more time with them than working so the absent of thier father will not be so difficult of an adjustment for them. Taking care of your own children I did not know this was generosity. Never was this about him wanting a divorce but how he went by it. If this was about his up bringing why even marry and have children outside of it. Even if that is the case, no one forced him to marry and have children. Im in the State of Alabama which is an equitable state. I want fair that is all, plus my savings is why we have the assets. Im requesting only whats fair for me and the children. Anyway thanks for your comment. Barbara

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Never was this about him wanting a divorce but how he went by it.

So you want to punish him. Okay then.

[BarbSami 32]

So you want to punish him. Okay the

I am not or never have I been that kind of person nor will I ever be. I want fair for me and my children. These assets were from this marriage even though my savings was used, it is considered marital property. If you feel Im punishing him for standing up for me and my children, well I guess he getting punish. Even he walked out that's his choice and right but my rights are to protect myself amd my children.

[BarbSami 32]

Read this post on what happened to an upstanding Husband that tried to work things out with his Wife.

Frankly I salute your Husband for not facing you directly and I am sure that he will take care of the kids as evidenced by his very generous offer of $1,500 a month. Two kids don't need that much expense in a month.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/428589-marriage-fraud-and-false-domestic-abuse-charges-after-i-751-filed/?p=6207863

Thanks for the article. I am sorry for the OP situation. It is so sad that the world consist of these kind of persons, but some will go to the extreme for thier own personal gain. My heart goes out to him. I have never in my life been a violent person nor do I even raise my voice. I am a peaceful person that always try to resolve matters peacefully. Two kids expenses can easily exceed that amount. If your means are not to the point where you can provide the proper life for your children maybe they have to settle for less but we are financially stable. A real man would make sure before himself that his children best interest comes first.

Barbara

[BarbSami 32]

So you want to punish him.okay then

When I said he did not go by it the right way....I meant sit down come up with an agreement that's fair. Make sure we as the adults make this as painless as possible for the children. I am hurt yes, because I love him but I can not lose focus of what's important here and it is the welfare of my childern. I will heal over time but this is not about he or I but our children. They are the ones that are dependent. So this is not about attacking him, it's about making sure my children best interest is protected. Everyone has the right to chose what is in thier best interest, but when children are involved the best interest of the children should be first priority of all parties involved. Also I am not God what rights do I have to punish anyone. Barbara

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Thanks for the article. I am sorry for the OP situation. It is so sad that the world consist of these kind of persons, but some will go to the extreme for thier own personal gain. My heart goes out to him. I have never in my life been a violent person nor do I even raise my voice. I am a peaceful person that always try to resolve matters peacefully. Two kids expenses can easily exceed that amount. If your means are not to the point where you can provide the proper life for your children maybe they have to settle for less but we are financially stable. A real man would make sure before himself that his children best interest comes first.

Barbara

In my opinion he is absolutely a real Man as he offered to pay $1,500 a month to take care of the children.

Also in most states, the Parent without the children pays for the insurance, so the $1,500 excludes insurance.

I just don't see how $1,500 is not enough for two children especially in Alabama of all places.

Also if he truly makes $200,000 then you should let the Judge decides the proper amount but I doubt that any Man that makes $200,000 will be stupid enough to offer $1,500 a month.

In my own example, I have the means and what I pay is what I calculated that the children needs. Ending a marriage should not be a gravy train for any Spouse. I pay what I think is reasonable (a Judge agreed by the way) and I put extra money in a trust for the children when they get older which is outside of the reach of my Ex.

The more you write the more I see that you are thinking primarily for yourself and not in the best interest of the children. There's nothing wrong with that perse but don't veil your true intent under the guise of the children.

I'm going to duck out of this discusion but I wish the kids the best of luck in dealing with this, the adults will be fine.

[BarbSami 32]

You are entilted to your opinion. There is over 200,000. year assets and rightfully I am due half. Alabama is not a state where one can live free. When did housing be come inexpensive when money is owed to the bank. Say whatever You wish, You are on the outside looking in. If i am not stable how can I provide stability for my children and being a real man does not require a judge to do it. Real men do it on thier own . Know one has to tell them..How Much......Thanks..... Barbara