Bad situation..getting worse.

[Abby62 23]

I came here to the USA happy in my marriage and excited to start a new life with my US husband. So many trial and tribulations have gone on since I arrived. My son came here too and I was excited about him going to college and living here in the USA. He was granted a 10 yr green card pretty much immediately because of my marriage.

My spouse has had lots of medical issues, but now I realize it's a lot of mental issues too. He has bad anger issues and emotional issues that he won't get addressed. I believe it's borderline personality disorder, or something like that..i'm not a Dr., but he is mean and I've been so scared and it's like living on eggshells everyday not knowing what kind of mood he's going to be in everyday. It's sickening and now last night he became irrational and physically threw my son down on the bed over a cell phone, he has now forced him out and I need to get him to a safe place.

I am a month out from submitting my ROC for my 10 year green card..it's so close. I'm afraid 1) my husband won't sign it now 2) he will sign it and then I "may" have to file for divorce as I am scared for my physical and mental well being. I just don't know how, immigration wise, any of this is now going to affect me. I don't know if through counselling we can save this, or not..there's just no answer at the moment on any of this.

It feels like i'm teetering here now everyday wondering what's going to happen with my future.

Please help, who can I talk to about this?

Thank you.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

1352123585[/url]' post='5802158']

I came here to the USA happy in my marriage and excited to start a new life with my US husband. So many trial and tribulations have gone on since I arrived. My son came here too and I was excited about him going to college and living here in the USA. He was granted a 10 yr green card pretty much immediately because of my marriage.

My spouse has had lots of medical issues, but now I realize it's a lot of mental issues too. He has bad anger issues and emotional issues that he won't get addressed. I believe it's borderline personality disorder, or something like that..i'm not a Dr., but he is mean and I've been so scared and it's like living on eggshells everyday not knowing what kind of mood he's going to be in everyday. It's sickening and now last night he became irrational and physically threw my son down on the bed over a cell phone, he has now forced him out and I need to get him to a safe place.

I am a month out from submitting my ROC for my 10 year green card..it's so close. I'm afraid 1) my husband won't sign it now 2) he will sign it and then I "may" have to file for divorce as I am scared for my physical and mental well being. I just don't know how, immigration wise, any of this is now going to affect me. I don't know if through counselling we can save this, or not..there's just no answer at the moment on any of this.

It feels like i'm teetering here now everyday wondering what's going to happen with my future.

Please help, who can I talk to about this?

Thank you.

Send the Son to the real Dad.

[Abby62 23]

Send the Son to the real Dad.

Obviously I am going to get him to a safe place today, but that really doesn't help to answer any of my questions surrounding the whole immigration issue.

[JohnR! 5,495]

I am scared for my physical and mental well being. I just don't know how, immigration wise, any of this is now going to affect me. I don't know if through counselling we can save this, or not..there's just no answer at the moment on any of this.

Please help, who can I talk to about this?

If you fear for your safety, pack your things and get out. Go to a shelter where they can help you. File for divorce and move on with your life.

As far as your immigration status goes, that should come last, after you and your son are safe.

Here is where you can get help: http://www.thehotline.org/

Edited November 5, 2012 by Gegel

[Dave&Roza 748]

If you fear for your safety, pack your things and get out. Go to a shelter where they can help you. File for divorce and move on with your life.

As far as your immigration status goes, that should come last, after you and your son are safe.

Here is where you can get help: http://www.thehotline.org/

. Make certain you and your son are safe. File for divorce. Apply for ROC once the divorce is finalized. Gather as much documentation to prove you did enter the marriage in good faith and how your husband is treating you and your son.

Good luck,

Dave

[patient2010 93]

Hope things workout for you good luck!

[TracyTN 237]

You can remove conditions on your own if you are divorced and have proof you entered the marriage in good faith. There is a 'pinned' topic in this forum which discusses that very situation.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/220094-divorce-before-removal-of-conditions-on-permanent-resident-status/

Get yourselves to a safe place first and then worry about the immigration part of it.

Edited November 5, 2012 by TracyTN

[rlogan 2,036]

I've been so scared and it's like living on eggshells everyday not knowing what kind of mood he's going to be in everyday.

This is the hallmark of a spectrum of related disorders.

You don't need to be a Dr. or even to diagnose it. The conditions you describe are living in terror, not living in a marriage. These kinds of disorders are extremely difficult even when the person acknowledges them and is willing to work on them. The counseling works both ways: not just him, but for you - how to deal with a personality disorder of this nature. It's more like dealing with a machine than a person. It never goes away. Long distance relationships are an environment where someone with a disorder can fool you for a while, and they are rational so they know to be on best behavior in courtship. The violence is a no-brainer: divorce and either go home or remove conditions on your own.

[jaigra65 1]

I came here to the USA happy in my marriage and excited to start a new life with my US husband. So many trial and tribulations have gone on since I arrived. My son came here too and I was excited about him going to college and living here in the USA. He was granted a 10 yr green card pretty much immediately because of my marriage.

if you can prove domestic violance you have a case, you do not need him to sign the papers

but the case has to be solid, you will probably need police report

look in uscis site i am sure they have info on it or call them there is a law that protects

the victims of domestic violence but you do have the burden of proof

My spouse has had lots of medical issues, but now I realize it's a lot of mental issues too. He has bad anger issues and emotional issues that he won't get addressed. I believe it's borderline personality disorder, or something like that..i'm not a Dr., but he is mean and I've been so scared and it's like living on eggshells everyday not knowing what kind of mood he's going to be in everyday. It's sickening and now last night he became irrational and physically threw my son down on the bed over a cell phone, he has now forced him out and I need to get him to a safe place.

I am a month out from submitting my ROC for my 10 year green card..it's so close. I'm afraid 1) my husband won't sign it now 2) he will sign it and then I "may" have to file for divorce as I am scared for my physical and mental well being. I just don't know how, immigration wise, any of this is now going to affect me. I don't know if through counselling we can save this, or not..there's just no answer at the moment on any of this.

It feels like i'm teetering here now everyday wondering what's going to happen with my future.

Please help, who can I talk to about this?

Thank you.

[jaigra65 1]

victims of domestic violence are protected by immigration laws

you have the burden of proof, a police report will help check the uscis site or

call them if i recall the law correctly he does not need to sign, they will issue

the green card, protect your life go to a shelter

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Well, if you're planning on leaving him. Leave. It's pretty much that simple. Then you work on your immigration stuff. Don't stay with someone just for immigration reasons.

To be approved on a divorce waiver you need to be divorced, but you don't need to be divorced to file it with a divorce waiver. You said your date is in a month, SO instead you file for the divorce waiver and you won't have the decree. They will RFE you for the decree and give you 86 days (or something) to supply it. If you don't get it in time then you will be denied and sent before an immigration judge who will order that they hold off on the denial until your divorce is final to give you time to submit the decree. Then once your divorce is final you submit the decree and your case continues to process. Sounds scary, but a lot of people do it this way.

It is the best choice for you to do it this way. He could sign it but he could also write in while it's processing and withdraw his support. You would also need to stay with him while it's processing (if he signs it) and right now that's taking 6+ months (depending on where you file).

File for divorce, leave, file for ROC in the 90 days (unless you get a quickie divorce). The reason I say file for divorce first is once you leave him he might file and you want to be the petitioner, gives you the most control over the divorce (where its held etc). Leave before he's served (to avoid his temper), but at least FILE first. Speak to your attorney about your risk to your life and s/he'll be able to hold off the service till you're out (not for long though so make your plans before you file).

Most importantly, protect yourself and your child.

[Birdysboy 5]

In no particular order:

1. DO NOT follow the advice of a bunch of strangers on this type of forum. Get professional advice from a state agency or marriage counselor or pasto/priest/rabbi.

2. DO NOT air out your dirty laundry on cases like this on a public forum. This can be used against you in a court of law.

3. DO NOT delay, get help today.

+++

[rika60607 215]

I rarely post anymore, but I Roc'd after divorce, successfully. Statistically, ROC after divorce is highly successful. If I had to put a number on it, I'd say in more than 95% cases. When someone is denied, there was usually something serious going on, like obvious fraud.

Assuming that you are ready for divorce:

First - take care of your safety. Second, look at form I-751 and think of the evidence you will need to submit with your application. Collect all you can while you can. Third, file for divorce as soon as you can and file for ROC as late as possible within the 90 day window.

Be brave. Living scared of your spouse will cause permanent damage to you.

I came here to the USA happy in my marriage and excited to start a new life with my US husband. So many trial and tribulations have gone on since I arrived. My son came here too and I was excited about him going to college and living here in the USA. He was granted a 10 yr green card pretty much immediately because of my marriage.

My spouse has had lots of medical issues, but now I realize it's a lot of mental issues too. He has bad anger issues and emotional issues that he won't get addressed. I believe it's borderline personality disorder, or something like that..i'm not a Dr., but he is mean and I've been so scared and it's like living on eggshells everyday not knowing what kind of mood he's going to be in everyday. It's sickening and now last night he became irrational and physically threw my son down on the bed over a cell phone, he has now forced him out and I need to get him to a safe place.

I am a month out from submitting my ROC for my 10 year green card..it's so close. I'm afraid 1) my husband won't sign it now 2) he will sign it and then I "may" have to file for divorce as I am scared for my physical and mental well being. I just don't know how, immigration wise, any of this is now going to affect me. I don't know if through counselling we can save this, or not..there's just no answer at the moment on any of this.

It feels like i'm teetering here now everyday wondering what's going to happen with my future.

Please help, who can I talk to about this?

Thank you.

[Shiobhan 235]

You know what if you love your husband and marry him in good faith, get help today after securing your child. now..., many ppl with medicalproblems begins to lash out at care-givers & those close to them, get counselling professionally, if funds R tight look into what your community may offer from library memo boards, health center or if you have a church home. Many ppl with illnesses

R angry, and if you R not equipt to manage you then begin to feel abused and unhappy because you R trying your best, I cannot speak on the immigration part of things but do whats right for U & son.....good luck

[hamigirl710 112]

I know you said your son is here and going to college? So I am guessing he is over age 18? If he is under age 18 you will need to report this abuse to your local Child and Family Services and get a case opened against your husband. Not only will this help protect your son but you would have documentation of the abuse if needed. If he is already age 18 you cannot do this but you can make a police report and I would highly suggest this if you have not already done so. Be safe and good luck!