Marriage law

[yas1 0]

Hi everybody,

I don't know if I can ask this question here or not. I came to U.S by k-1 visa. After marriage, I found that I couldn't get pregnant normaly because of my husband problem. we have to do something like IVF.It is not important to me. The point is my husband doesn't want to me know about his infertility problem. he was aware about this problem before our marriage. I found it by chance. now he goes to doctor, takes some medicine, take test ,... without say anything to me. I am really confused. I thought maybe there is a marriage law that he is afraid of that. Maybe he thinks I can use it and get divorce and without any problem get my permanent green card!

Could it be a fruad that he didn't say any thing about his infertility problem before marriage?

By the way, if it helps we live in california.

Thank you

[Ontarkie 13,919]

~~~Not a Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion, moved to Moving Here and Your New Life In America~~~

[JohnR! 5,495]

Could it be a fruad that he didn't say any thing about his infertility problem before marriage?

Not in California is it not an issue, nor is it fraud, and I doubt it is in any other state.

Honesty is always the best solution, so if you already know of his issue, choose an appropriate moment and tell him, so that if he is really worried about disappointing you, you can put his mind at ease.

Good luck!

[Anh map 2,098]

Hi everybody,

I don't know if I can ask this question here or not. I came to U.S by k-1 visa. After marriage, I found that I couldn't get pregnant normaly because of my husband problem. we have to do something like IVF.It is not important to me. The point is my husband doesn't want to me know about his infertility problem. he was aware about this problem before our marriage. I found it by chance. now he goes to doctor, takes some medicine, take test ,... without say anything to me. I am really confused. I thought maybe there is a marriage law that he is afraid of that. Maybe he thinks I can use it and get divorce and without any problem get my permanent green card!

Could it be a fruad that he didn't say any thing about his infertility problem before marriage?

By the way, if it helps we live in california.

Thank you

No, his fertility has no impact.

[Ontarkie 13,919]

It was wrong for him to keep that from you. That has been enough for some couples to end their relationship/marriage over.

He may be trying to some kind of treatment for it, he could be ashamed and think he can fix it without you ever finding out. Since you did find out and it sounds like you wont just leave him over it, you need to have a heart to heart with him.

[Rae Anne 44]

Hi everybody,

I don't know if I can ask this question here or not. I came to U.S by k-1 visa. After marriage, I found that I couldn't get pregnant normaly because of my husband problem. we have to do something like IVF.It is not important to me. The point is my husband doesn't want to me know about his infertility problem. he was aware about this problem before our marriage. I found it by chance. now he goes to doctor, takes some medicine, take test ,... without say anything to me. I am really confused. I thought maybe there is a marriage law that he is afraid of that. Maybe he thinks I can use it and get divorce and without any problem get my permanent green card!

Could it be a fruad that he didn't say any thing about his infertility problem before marriage?

By the way, if it helps we live in california.

Thank you

Infertility is a very sensitive issue for men, as it is for women. He's probably seeing doctors and taking pills to see if he can "correct" the problem without you ever knowing about it. Hard to know whether anything he is trying on his own will help or not. It's also really difficult to speculate how long he's known about this health issue. He *may* have been dishonest or omitted things about himself but this definitely doesn't qualify as fraud. He's most likely afraid of losing you.

As Gegel said, you should definitely clear the air. Tell him he shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed about it and that together you will find a solution. That's what married folks do

[Pinkrlion 2,610]

Hi everybody,

I don't know if I can ask this question here or not. I came to U.S by k-1 visa. After marriage, I found that I couldn't get pregnant normaly because of my husband problem. we have to do something like IVF.It is not important to me. The point is my husband doesn't want to me know about his infertility problem. he was aware about this problem before our marriage. I found it by chance. now he goes to doctor, takes some medicine, take test ,... without say anything to me. I am really confused. I thought maybe there is a marriage law that he is afraid of that. Maybe he thinks I can use it and get divorce and without any problem get my permanent green card!

Could it be a fruad that he didn't say any thing about his infertility problem before marriage?

By the way, if it helps we live in california.

Thank you

It is not fraud, why would you think that him not telling you would cause you to be able to divorce him. Plenty of couples conceive in this manner. At least he knows that he has a medical condition and is tyring to correct it so that you may have children.

[Moomin 292]

You might be better of with family attourney to answer that question. If there anything to look into, it's concealing material facts at most, if that even counts. But but but he's doing something about it, the situation may better which is the whole point of hanging in there. Consider the time you spend together right now as quality time/catching up for the 2 of you. Otherwise you're just going to stress yourself about it, and him too.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I don't know if I can ask this question here or not. I came to U.S by k-1 visa. After marriage, I found that I couldn't get pregnant normaly because of my husband problem. we have to do something like IVF.It is not important to me. The point is my husband doesn't want to me know about his infertility problem. he was aware about this problem before our marriage. I found it by chance. now he goes to doctor, takes some medicine, take test ,... without say anything to me. I am really confused. I thought maybe there is a marriage law that he is afraid of that. Maybe he thinks I can use it and get divorce and without any problem get my permanent green card!

Could it be a fruad that he didn't say any thing about his infertility problem before marriage?

By the way, if it helps we live in california.

no you cannot get a divorce and without any problem get your GC and it's disturbing that you even thought that (and appeared to type it with glee). If you ddon't want to stay with him, then don't, don't use his fertility problems against him because you wouldn't like it if he used them against you.

[yas1 0]

no you cannot get a divorce and without any problem get your GC and it's disturbing that you even thought that (and appeared to type it with glee). If you ddon't want to stay with him, then don't, don't use his fertility problems against him because you wouldn't like it if he used them against you.

Please when you don't know me don't judge me!!

I don't want to get divorce. I had a wnderful job and situation in my country, but I quit. Because I wanted to be with a man that I love him. I know what he is donig is for me. He loves me and doesn't want to lose me. we are so in pain. I was so confused and wanted to share my experience with others and get some advice. I never wanted to find a way for divorce.

[Kajikit 65]

CONCEALED infertility is one of the reasons for annullment in the Catholic church... not because of the infertility directly, but because you didn't know about it before marriage and your partner did and he hid it from you (eg. if the guy is talking about the 10 kids you're going to have together, when all along he KNEW he'd had a vasectomy so it was all smoke and mirrors). You could argue that your marriage was based on deception and you want out because having children was vital to you and if you'd known you never would have married him. But since you say here that it's not a big deal to you, you've already ruled that out.

[JohnR! 5,495]

Please when you don't know me don't judge me!!

I don't want to get divorce. I had a wnderful job and situation in my country, but I quit. Because I wanted to be with a man that I love him. I know what he is donig is for me. He loves me and doesn't want to lose me. we are so in pain. I was so confused and wanted to share my experience with others and get some advice. I never wanted to find a way for divorce.

Again, IMHO it is all the more reason you should talk to him. It seems to me he is in pain and you are in pain as a consequence of his suffering. You can put an end to it.

Talk to him. Let him know you believe he is suffering and afraid he will disappoint and lose you. You are the only person who can reassure him that he will not lose you because you love him and that you want to be with him.

Forgive me if I sound insensitive - it is not my intention - but it seems to me you are dragging this issue and getting the opinions of strangers when you can take matters in your own hand and find resolution and peace. It is your marriage and it is your life. Perhaps what he most needs from you right now is the reassurance that you are not going to leave him for something like that. He may be suffering thinking you would leave and divorce him if you found out about the treatment.

If you really love him, consider that you are allowing him to suffer more and more with each passing moment. He is your husband. 'For better or worse'. Remember that.

[TracyTN 237]

Please when you don't know me don't judge me!!

I don't want to get divorce. I had a wnderful job and situation in my country, but I quit. Because I wanted to be with a man that I love him. I know what he is donig is for me. He loves me and doesn't want to lose me. we are so in pain. I was so confused and wanted to share my experience with others and get some advice. I never wanted to find a way for divorce.

It is a little confusing to say you're in pain about it, but then to be asking about his infertility as possible grounds for a divorce. If it 'doesn't matter to you' like you say - why even ask if it is grounds for a divorce? Something doesn't seem to add up whether we know you or not. All we know is what you reveal to us, and perhaps you misstated something - but what you did say doesn't exactly read like an innocent musing. There really is little need to bring out something this personal on to a public forum unless there is a reason for it - like finding a way to divorce him.