going to pursue CR-1, live with him abroad (not in his home country). how will this affect the visa process

[Army wife 9]

Yes, OP, almost everyone here has viewed this in a not very positive light, a CO will deny it outright.

[/quo

I for my part, am not trying to be mean - just realistic.

Times have changed and the world is a more dangerous place!

What have your parents said???

[Army wife 9]

People said I was too young and naive. And we're fine now.

She can do it if they really are determined to be together. They just have work harder than usual in the relationship.

Your story had much more potential for success as:

1) You went to college together

2) He was in your country and you spent time TOGETHER getting to know each other

3) The Immigration process allowed the time to see if the relationship would survive.

This other young lady has not had the same advantages as you...

The 2 stories cannot be placed on the same parallel.

[afoyoswa 178]

People said I was too young and naive. And we're fine now.

She can do it if they really are determined to be together. They just have work harder than usual in the relationship.

Young and naive can work out okay. But...what relationship? Someone you have never met is not worth "work[ing] harder than usual" (and what is "usual" at age 20?).

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

There is a facebook group of Nigerians/Americans where they are heavily into pulling in woman that could use a man or want one and convince them that they have just the Nigerian for them, then hand hold them through the visa process so that they can help their Nigerian friends find a stepping stone to the US. It is a new twist to romance scams.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

There is a facebook group of Nigerians/Americans where they are heavily into pulling in woman that could use a man or want one and convince them that they have just the Nigerian for them, then hand hold them through the visa process so that they can help their Nigerian friends find a stepping stone to the US. It is a new twist to romance scams.

Sickening. What do these people get out of the scamming? A sense of short-sighted pride or something more sinister, like offering up a family member for immigration?

Edited May 14, 2012 by Harpa Timsah

[Sarah Grace 1]

Is he a legal resident of South Africa?

As in, the South African equivalent of a permanent resident? I don't think so.

[Sarah Grace 1]

The Catch 22 in all this is that if you don't spend significant time together in person, that makes your evidence of bona fide relationship pretty slim. If YOUR concern is for the parents to meet your fiancee before marriage, a failed K1 process won't accomplish that. Your chances of obtaining a visa for him are far greater if you live together for some significant time. If for you, that means marriage first, then great.

Why does HE want to take the K1 route?

For your residence together to be in SA instead of Nigeria, (big difference) obviously, you will BOTH need the appropriate visas.

He wants the K-1 to honor my parents' wish to meet him before marrying. And I'm hoping my mother will be coming with me when I visit him.

[Sarah Grace 1]

Young and naive can work out okay. But...what relationship? Someone you have never met is not worth "work[ing] harder than usual" (and what is "usual" at age 20?).

Believe it or not, a long distance never-met-him-before relationship IS STILL a relationship.

[Bule&Cantik 8]

Believe it or not, a long distance never-met-him-before relationship IS STILL a relationship.

Long distance, never met face-to-face is relationship. Agree.

You're going to have difficult road ahead.

Is his country a country where visa fraud occurs regularly?

Is it the cultural norm in his country to marry from Internet dating?

The immigration case that you will submit will be scrutinized (heavily, I bet).

Meeting a few times, may help to strengthen your future visa application.

[Darnell 8,478]

And I'm hoping my mother will be coming with me when I visit him.

Well, that's a plus. Good Luck, however it turns out.

[Sarah Grace 1]

How I met Mike... I'd gotten a "hey I like your profile, can we talk and see what happens? " facebook message from some guy. Well that wasn't ever going to work out. He asked me if I'd consider one of his facebook friends--Mike. I friended Mike,, asked questions, and decided to give him a chance.

He never asked me for money. Ever.

He had to be a Christian, an independent Baptist, and called to be a missionary, else I wouldn't even consider him. He checked out.

From the beginning, he wanted my parents to be involved. A few days ago he asked to talk to my mother about our meeting and the possibility of is getting married. It was completely his idea to talk to her

He never rushed me to make decisions. I'd tried several times to plan a trip for me to meet him, him to meet me, him to work here, him to attend college here. Whenever those plans failed, he never got angry with me.

He is the same person now as he was in July. No inconsistencies in what he tells me about himself.

Why would he leave everything--family, occupation --behind for me? First, he had no occupation. He had jobs before, but had lately been unable to get an honest job. It is very difficult to get a job in Nigeria, especially if you want to hold to your morals. This is why he moved to South Africa, so he could at least have a chance of getting an honest job. He could have stayed in Nigeria and let his mom support him, and just wait for me to make things all better. But no. He had to get out of there and do something. And family is not enough to keep him there. And he's not "giving up" his family for me. I let him know that I wanted him to keep in contact with him, I wanted us to visit his side of the family as often as possible.

My parents don't want me to travel alone. They def didn't want me to fly to Nigeria alone, or even with my mother. But I'm not flying to Nigeria, I'm flying to south Africa. And my mother will be coming with me. Then Mike and I will fly up to Nigeria to meet his mom. She really wants to meet me.

I have kept my parents in the loop from the first day. I talked about everything, positive and negative. At first they just figured they'd let this relationship run its course. Then they understood how serious it is. But they like what they I've told them, mom's talked to him some. A few weeks ago they hired a private investigator.

I know visiting him multiple times during the visa process will help, and I will do so. I want to do so.

And about me not knowing exactly which visa Mike used to get to SA, I didn't figure I absolutely needed to know. And I'm not sure he'd know how to tell me which visa he used; his English skills are not excellent. All I know is, he's allowed to stay there for the time being, but he's not allowed to work yet.

I don't know what one person's experience was with a certain facebook group. The one I'm a member of is American Women Married or Dating Nigerian Men. None of them has tried to get unsuspecting American girls to marry their Nigerian friends. It's a closed group. There are no nigerians or men in it, hence the name. They have been a great help by helping me understand my fiance better. I know a little more what to expect.

I noticed someone had wondered why my parents would let me make a poor decision. I ask you, how do you know this is a poor decision? How can you judge my situation when you know next to nothing about it?

[Sarah Grace 1]

No one has suggested him coming to the US, is that an option? Since the plan is for him to come to live it seems that he should travel here?????

GOOD QUESTION!! Yes I've looked into that option. Problem is, immigration officials don't like to give tourist visas to Nigerians because of fraud. Mike doesn't have strong enough ties to Nigeria to prove that he has good reason to return home. I mean, yeah Mike and I know we wont commit immigration fraud by changing status while he was here, but they don't know that, and they can't take our word for it. I and my parents like this option best, and Mike is more than willing to do it, but it's just not feasible.

[fantonledzepp 159]

It is quite obvious that you only want to hear what you want to hear instead of the truth.

And that's fine.

Good luck and best wishes on your journey.

[Sarah Grace 1]

Ah, my ability to support him.

I'm currently taking a class that will prepare me to take a Pharmacy Technician Certification test. I should be taking the test in July, but I'm looking for a job in that capacity now. There are a lot of pharmacies nearby. Starting wage seems to always be $9-10 an hour. Full time work should put me above the 125% poverty mark for two people. I know I'll need to keep my pay stubs and include a letter from my boss.

[Nicoco 26]

I understand my case was different. Im just saying purhaps she should visit a few times before sending in k1 and trying to better the future by getting a job.