Is being 'hard headed' a RUB chick trait ?

[visaveteran1 33]

Tragically (truly so), so many indigenous Ecuatorianas put up with this stuff (plus the infidelity, irresponsibility, failure to lift a finger to help around the house, etc.) because that's all that they KNOW to do because it's been their culture for so long. The stress comes because some of the modern marriageable-aged women are more aware and advanced than the men of their generation are -- dueling expectations, sigh man.The most beautiful thing on Earth is a woman with a smile on her face, see man.

Slight correction. Smile on face, naked. Si, au natural, man.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

There is a world of difference in being an immigrant "allowed" to live here (subject to the vagaries of immigration laws and other issues which might send them back home) and being a citizen of the USA with all the benefits afforded a citizen. But to cut to the chase, it's a USA passport that allows them access to most of the free world without a hassle. With mobility comes opportunities, like meeting men for marriage. The pool of possible mates expands greatly. And now they are "Americans." Plus, they retain their Russian passport as well. This gives them the freedom to live where they want for as long as they want. No more coming back to the US every 5 months and 29 days.

All the more reason to be the best husband.

Alla got hit on twice in the "Shoe and Apparel" shop last night while I was in the store with her. She would have no trouble finding a man that wants to get in her pants at least, most men age 14-86 want to. Pasha's HS friends think she is smokin' HOT! Whether they want to be a good husband and care for her and the children, that is another story. But she is no dummy. She traveled all over in her work before meeting me and I am sure I am not the first guy that ever tried to schmooze her in the airport, and she is all for "flirting" if it gets a man to carry her luggage. But I am the one she agreed to marry and move halfway around the world for WITH her two children. It is "mine to lose" as they say. She was not advertising on a marriage site looking for foreign husbands so there is about -0- chance she just wanted a green card, and -0- chance she ever even thought of it.

And yes, we have PLANS to live in other places while she uses her skills as an English teacher. A year in Italy sounds nice, maybe Brazil after that. Her friend is teaching English in Istanbul but Turkey was never my cup of tea. OK beaches but absolutely NO desire to live there. We will see.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Slight correction. Smile on face, naked. Si, au natural, man.

High heels and smile only.

[visaveteran1 33]

All the more reason to be the best husband.

Alla got hit on twice in the "Shoe and Apparel" shop last night while I was in the store with her. She would have no trouble finding a man that wants to get in her pants at least, most men age 14-86 want to. Pasha's HS friends think she is smokin' HOT! Whether they want to be a good husband and care for her and the children, that is another story. But she is no dummy. She traveled all over in her work before meeting me and I am sure I am not the first guy that ever tried to schmooze her in the airport, and she is all for "flirting" if it gets a man to carry her luggage. But I am the one she agreed to marry and move halfway around the world for WITH her two children. It is "mine to lose" as they say. She was not advertising on a marriage site looking for foreign husbands so there is about -0- chance she just wanted a green card, and -0- chance she ever even thought of it.

And yes, we have PLANS to live in other places while she uses her skills as an English teacher. A year in Italy sounds nice, maybe Brazil after that. Her friend is teaching English in Istanbul but Turkey was never my cup of tea. OK beaches but absolutely NO desire to live there. We will see.

No Gary, it's all those sexy guns you own.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

No Gary, it's all those sexy guns you own.

You would think, but no.

She wants her OWN. On her list now is a S&W M41. I am actively seeking one on "gunBroker" but so far have not won an auction. We have been checking the auctions, finding a good one and trying to bid but so far mo luck. Of course she wants it cheap.

She has now decided that she cannot live another year without entering CMP competition this spring and needs a service rifle to compete. I have a bunch of those. M1 Garand (too heavy, kicks too much) M1A (too heavy, kicks too much) and TWO ARs an A2 model with HB for service rifle and an A3 model with 24" HB, flattop and really good sights for match rifle class. Nope, she has to have her own, I cannot shoot it.

We were prowling guns shops yesterday and she was trying different rifles, I think we will go for her own A2 model service rifle. She is in no hurry. They are going to have one for raffle at our gun club winter fundraiser dinner, so she says she is going to buy a lot of tickets for that.

SHE would prefer an M4 model, lighter, but I have never seen one on the line. I think, technically, you could use one as they are an issued Service Rifle, but why? Better the more accurate A2 rifle.

Edited December 23, 2011 by Gary and Alla

[visaveteran1 33]

You would think, but no.

She wants her OWN. On her list now is a S&W M41. I am actively seeking one on "gunBroker" but so far have not won an auction. We have been checking the auctions, finding a good one and trying to bid but so far mo luck. Of course she wants it cheap.

She has now decided that she cannot live another year without entering CMP competition this spring and needs a service rifle to compete. I have a bunch of those. M1 Garand (too heavy, kicks too much) M1A (too heavy, kicks too much) and TWO ARs an A2 model with HB for service rifle and an A3 model with 24" HB, flattop and really good sights for match rifle class. Nope, she has to have her own, I cannot shoot it.

We were prowling guns shops yesterday and she was trying different rifles, I think we will go for her own A2 model service rifle. She is in no hurry. They are going to have one for raffle at our gun club winter fundraiser dinner, so she says she is going to buy a lot of tickets for that.

SHE would prefer an M4 model, lighter, but I have never seen one on the line. I think, technically, you could use one as they are an issued Service Rifle, but why? Better the more accurate A2 rifle.

Gary, you have more money than me...that's a natural fact. Many guns. Plane tickets to Ukraine. A house. Cars. Two younger stepsons in college. Dogs and cats vet bills. Shooting sports which are not cheap hobbies. A RUB wife who sounds like her only flaw might be hyperactivity. But...good for you. You seem like a very happy man and you definitely can multi-task, and clearly earn a good wage.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Just a reminder, everyone, while you are discussing the darker sides (or the lighter sides ) of your spouses - RUB or otherwise - please avoid the use of racist epithets and stereotypes as that violates TOS. Thank you.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I'm no expert on what happens after the 10-year green card expires...but it would be interesting to know. But I think most LRs get their citizenship before the 10 years are up...or they go back to the motherland.

Once it expires they just get a new one. Even if it expires they don't lose their status but they should get a new card to prove their status.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Gary, you have more money than me...that's a natural fact. Many guns. Plane tickets to Ukraine. A house. Cars. Two younger stepsons in college. Dogs and cats vet bills. Shooting sports which are not cheap hobbies. A RUB wife who sounds like her only flaw might be hyperactivity. But...good for you. You seem like a very happy man and you definitely can multi-task, and clearly earn a good wage.

Ice skating tonight. I am sore. We only have one son in college, one more to start next year.

Most of my guns were bought years ago when I actually DID make a lot of money, and a lot of them were inherited from my father and grandfather, BOTH were gun enthusiasts and collectors who BOTH liked fine firearms. (thank God they did not teach me to golf!) Since Alla has been here I have purchased exactly TWO guns, both for her. The Winchester M52 (not cheap but worth every penny) and the Remington M1100 28 guage (not too expensive actually)

Having Alla in school resulted in a huge tax credit which pays our plane tickets every year, and this will be the last year for that as she graduated in July. But now she is working more and making more money, so I guess it works out. We also prioritize these things. We do not spend a lot of money on things people spend a lot of money on.

We have one car each, not expensive cars, one is paid for the other almost. Our son bought his own with his own money from his own job. The house is strictly run of the mill 3 br 2 ba, and only 1 car garage. Our mortgage is far less than most people's. The only thing remarkable about it is the work I did myself and the materials Alla buys on clearance.

I am a lucky man to be sure, but not at all wealthy VV.

Alla is not perfect but no one is and I am easy to please. Her flaws are nothing to be worried about and she makes up for every one of them. Most involve her need to be "always right" OK, so what? I guess we all do. If there is nothing really to get ones panties in a wad over, why bother? VV, you too have seen the elephant, you were wounded. I was shot once and had a heart attack and bypass surgery and really, I just never had a bad day since. Now you are fighting another fight and you need not to worry about nonsense. None of that matters.

Just a reminder, everyone, while you are discussing the darker sides (or the lighter sides ) of your spouses - RUB or otherwise - please avoid the use of racist epithets and stereotypes as that violates TOS. Thank you.

Are their RUB epithets? What are they?

[visaveteran1 33]

I

I am a lucky man to be sure, but not at all wealthy VV.

VV, you too have seen the elephant, you were wounded. I was shot once and had a heart attack and bypass surgery and really, I just never had a bad day since. Now you are fighting another fight and you need not to worry about nonsense. None of that matters.

Roger that!

[eekee 182]

I did say "any woman" in my comments, so I agree with you to some extent. But I think the magnitude of the effects from the "dark traits" is greater with foreign women...especially ones without great English skills to help soften problems with full discourse. And there are socio-econmic and locale differences within Russia that come into play. My wife grew up in a one-room shack with an outhouse in coolest Siberia. She did not go to a university in Moscow or other big city. She plays the accordion very professionally, but that's the extent of her "refinement." So, if I want to generalize by "type" I'd need to speak about village Russian women or Siberian Russian women...and the one's who lived when there was a USSR.

I think this is a valid point... Most of my Russian friends are around my age and weren't even in school yet when the Soviet Union fell, grew up with the same movies and TV shows I did, etc. I don't see much difference in talking with them versus talking with my American friends, except that my Russian friends are less PC. And even if you're dealing with someone older who did grow up under the Soviet regime, if you have someone like Gary's Alla, who is well-educated, sophisticated, well-traveled, etc., I think that makes a huge difference.

[ONA 133]

I think this is a valid point... Most of my Russian friends are around my age and weren't even in school yet when the Soviet Union fell, grew up with the same movies and TV shows I did, etc. I don't see much difference in talking with them versus talking with my American friends, except that my Russian friends are less PC. And even if you're dealing with someone older who did grow up under the Soviet regime, if you have someone like Gary's Alla, who is well-educated, sophisticated, well-traveled, etc., I think that makes a huge difference.

travelling definitely makes anybody more open-minded. It's true about Americans too.

And yeah... I was 2 years old when USSR collapsed.

I think people, who grew up in 1980-s are different too. My parents finished school in 80-s, they differ a lot from my friends' parents, who went to school in 70-s.

[james&olya 1,121]

I don't understand the thing they have with family. I like my family and all but it's not like they are god or something. With the wife it's like her family walks on water. I'm sure there's a simple explanation for it, but I never looked into it. Iv'e laid it out to her a few times though that this family in this house comes first, and then whatever comes second. She has her pecking order, and Iv'e got mine and mine seems to trump hers when it comes down to money and brass tacks.

It would seem logical that family connections increase in importance when you grow up in a country where you cannot trust the government, police, courts, etc. Everybody needs to belong and have a place to feel secure. Many people in our society get that from places other than family but my sense is that RUB people have found they have to stick together more with family and their close friends as they cannot always count on other societal structures to take care of them.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

It would seem logical that family connections increase in importance when you grow up in a country where you cannot trust the government, police, courts, etc. Everybody needs to belong and have a place to feel secure. Many people in our society get that from places other than family but my sense is that RUB people have found they have to stick together more with family and their close friends as they cannot always count on other societal structures to take care of them.

Your observation is correct but I think Why_me was referring to another member's comments about Philippinas

However, there is a very strong network of family and friends in FSU countries. In the USSR they HAD to depend on the government for everything, and as we know that didn't work so well (when does it?) so they devised ways to survive and became very resourceful people. "Everyone has to have bread" as Alla says. The system works pretty good so why ditch it along with the Soviet Union?

This is why the classification of "friend" is very strong in FSU countries. Alla is a bit taken back at what Americans refer to as "friends" It is also why I laugh when stupid American men send a ,ot of money to the poor (but HOT!) Russian peasant girl they met on the internet that is in love with them after 3 emails. Poor thing does not have internet in her mud hut and no cell phone. Poor little peasant girl DOES have a cell phone and she can call three friends and have the cash she needs in two hours.

Alla has no family to speak of, her mother, that is it. She would lay down her life for her mother, as long as her mother does not try to be "right" about something, then it is like the Russian civil war all over again! And for her children, yes, she is very devoted and they to her.

But I do not see the situation where a RUB woman gets her and tries to bring their sisters, brothers, cousins, etc. right along behind them and that is often what makes a country "high fraud"

I have seen a few where they bring their mothers (we probably will) but this seems to be more related to health issues and wishing to be able to care for an elderly mother.

[visaveteran1 33]

The strong family view of Russians is a myth. That is to say, if you factor men into "family," you see an absence of healthy male involvement chronically...so where is this great "family?" Who among us has not heard about the drunken and abusive husband/father/boyfriend milieu in the FSU? And there may be a "family unit," but often without official marriage, as couples shack-up for awhile, then split.

What is true, I think, is that women band together to survive and lean on mother and, if he's not too drunk, father for help. So, the women take care of mom and their children...often spoiling the ####### out of their kids...especially the sons. I saw this with my wife and her son. And I learned that between me and her son, I was always second fiddle.

The interesting thing about Russian women is, though they seem to love their kids (or struggle with guilt and overcompensate), they will have an abortion without hesitation. No problems with that procedure at all in Russia.

Rather than seeing a strong family, I see a dysfunctional society that hasn't gotten away from drunken and abusive men/husbands and confused and misguided women/wives...both genders too often showing poor judgment and weak character.