Fiancee left me after 3 weeks

[VeniyaAO 4]

My heart is broke.

My fiancee arrived the Nov. 15th. I have been the happiest guy in the world with my fiancee until I got home from work today and found out she was gone. No message, no communication, her luggage is gone.

She seemed very happy here. We did lots of shopping, eating out, got a christmas tree in the forest, hockey games, cooking together..... I thought we were very happy as far as I knew. We had a great evening together last night, she seemed more romantic then ever and I went to work this morning like normal. She was talking to me via phone messages all day as usual.

Her phone is shut off now from the moment I arrived home from work. I tried to send her an email and it was rejected.

I do not know where she is. She does not know any people around my city. I found out through my phone bill she has been talking to people in 3 other states a lot for days so I assume she is in one of those states becuase she did not know anyone here.

I can not believe this has happened to me. I treated her like a princess always. I do not understand why women use men. I have known her for 2 years and we talked every day. How can women be so heartless to just leave and not say anything? I put 100's of hours into helping her get her visa and paid for everything. And she leaves me without any conversation at all?

I am confused as to what to do? Report her missing? Call the numbers she was calling? I don't think they will tell me anything she must have beening organizing with them to leave.

[Sapphire Moon 25]

Whoa! I can't believe I just read that. You would think after all we have to go through to get our significant others over here that it wouldn't end up that way. I am sorry to hear this has happened. But know all women aren't like that, but SHE is just like that. Since she just up and left then make sure you don't file an AOS for her. Also, you haven't married yet right?

Its scary that things like this can happen.

[az110965 252]

My heart is broke.

My fiancee arrived the Nov. 15th. I have been the happiest guy in the world with my fiancee until I got home from work today and found out she was gone. No message, no communication, her luggage is gone.

She seemed very happy here. We did lots of shopping, eating out, got a christmas tree in the forest, hockey games, cooking together..... I thought we were very happy as far as I knew. We had a great evening together last night, she seemed more romantic then ever and I went to work this morning like normal. She was talking to me via phone messages all day as usual.

Her phone is shut off now from the moment I arrived home from work. I tried to send her an email and it was rejected.

I do not know where she is. She does not know any people around my city. I found out through my phone bill she has been talking to people in 3 other states a lot for days so I assume she is in one of those states becuase she did not know anyone here.

I can not believe this has happened to me. I treated her like a princess always. I do not understand why women use men. I have known her for 2 years and we talked every day. How can women be so heartless to just leave and not say anything? I put 100's of hours into helping her get her visa and paid for everything. And she leaves me without any conversation at all?

I am confused as to what to do? Report her missing? Call the numbers she was calling? I don't think they will tell me anything she must have beening organizing with them to leave.

Wow. I'm REALLY sorry that this has happened to you, but before taking time to feel sadness, you NEED to PROTECT yourelf.

1) If she has an ATM card to your account - shut it down.

2) If she has passwords to any of your bank acounts, email accounts, ANY acount - change them immediately.

3) Send a letter ASAP to USCIS and notify them of the course of events. This will protect you against her saying you were abusive. She can not apply for VAWA but she can allege abuse and you'd have a diffiult time to ever petition someone else if you decided to.

4) Change the locks on your doorss. She has abandoned the premises but if she decided to return tonight and just enter your place you'd be powerless to do anything about it.

5) Do NOT be alone with this woman if she contacts you. You could be set up for a potential abuse allegation.

I am so sorry that this has happened, but it could have been worse. You could have married this woman and thing could have become very difficult for you. Time heals - believe me when I say this but for now concentrate on protecting yourself.

Goiod luck.

[veronicaanalee 2]

bad woman.

[hikergirl 277]

I am confused as to what to do? Report her missing? Call the numbers she was calling? I don't think they will tell me anything she must have beening organizing with them to leave.

Report her as missing to immigration in writing with the circumstances and make sure to give them a copy of the phone bill with the numbers she had been calling.

I'm very sorry to hear this has happened to you.

[Olomi_811 130]

Dang! I hurt for you. She probably sees greener grass. I'd follow az's advice ASAP and provide USCIS/ ICE with those numbers as possible whereabouts. She's not missing (suitcase gone). She's just trifling.

[NoneYa 73]

It is only nice men (or women) that get taken advantage of. When a man (or a woman) wants to believe in someone and what they tell you, it is easy for the other person to lie and manipulate you (which is what has happpened to you). You never saw it coming.

Do like I did after I was taken advantage of (much worse than you by the way but not with a Visa). I read the book about Ted Bundy, the master of manipulation. I read the book about mind games (the 48 laws of power). I researched these types of people to avoid them in the future. The fact is you could have eliminated her ability to fool you had you not trusted her for a long long while but rather, looked for signs of deception. I bet she was planning this from the beginning. Give it a while to look back and I bet you would have seen signs if you would have been less trusting about her ways .

This will pass. You will recover. I see so many ill prepared relationships built on hope and one sided trust that I know will fail. Consider yourself educated now. You just graduated from Scam College University with a Masters. Not everybody pays a stupid tax like you and I but if you do your homework next time, you can eliminate almost any possibility of this happening again. It happens to a lot of people and I am sorry it happened to you.

[Rufus2012 175]

AZ gives you some really good advice, follow it. Especially the part about never being alone with her. Never. Have several witnesses if you absolutely must have contact with her; video with audio recordings would be good too, IF your state's laws are consistent with it.

I feel your pain; but this is much better than after you would have married.

[Sapphire Moon 25]

Wow. I'm REALLY sorry that this has happened to you, but before taking time to feel sadness, you NEED to PROTECT yourelf.

1) If she has an ATM card to your account - shut it down.

2) If she has passwords to any of your bank acounts, email accounts, ANY acount - change them immediately.

3) Send a letter ASAP to USCIS and notify them of the course of events. This will protect you against her saying you were abusive. She can not apply for VAWA but she can allege abuse and you'd have a diffiult time to ever petition someone else if you decided to.

4) Change the locks on your doorss. She has abandoned the premises but if she decided to return tonight and just enter your place you'd be powerless to do anything about it.

5) Do NOT be alone with this woman if she contacts you. You could be set up for a potential abuse allegation.

I am so sorry that this has happened, but it could have been worse. You could have married this woman and thing could have become very difficult for you. Time heals - believe me when I say this but for now concentrate on protecting yourself.

Goiod luck.

Excellent Advice!!

[NoneYa 73]

DO NOT MEET WITH THIS WOMAN ALONE IS RIGHT !

Officer: What happened Miss ?

Scammer Woman: He touched me, he grabbed my arm ?

Officer: Is that right ? Well, we will take him to jail and he can't come back home. You can stay in his house if you have been staying there. He wont be coming home for a few months. He will need a good attorney and they start at $ 5,000. Don't worry about it if your story isn't true because everyone assumes the man is guilty in a case like this. Only when they go to court to dispute the charges and strongly protest does anybody attempt to believe they are innocent. Listen, since you are pretty and I feel sorry for you, I will help you and judge him guilty and write/bend the police report in your favor... okay ? It's our secret.

Warning: Recording phone conversations with only one party knowing in Florida is a felony. Check your state laws before doing that.

Edited December 10, 2011 by NoneYa

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I am so very sorry that this happened to you, not just that she left you and treated you like this, but also for the loss of your dream of a happy life together, the life for which you have worked so hard and waited so long.

Please do follow AZ and hikergirl's advice. Her visa is only good for 90 days. If she discovers she was premature in her actions of leaving you since she has no legal grounds to remain in the US legally nor get a green card except through marriage to you, she may come 'repentantly back' saying she was overwrought or 'needed time because things were happening too quickly' and try to convince you that this was all innocent, hoping to win your trust enough so you will marry her and apply for a green card. Then, when she gets the green card she would again disappear. Others have been taken in by such pleas, wanting to keep that dream intact, wanting to believe in the promises of love, wanting to trust again . . . but it almost always leads to a second desertion and this time with the US partner on the hook for an enforceable affidavit of support.

Take care of yourself. Let your friends and family know so they can be there to support you right now and do provide USCIS with an 'update'. You may also wish to provide 'ICE' with the copies of the telephone addresses and a statement of what has happened so she is on their radar as well.

Good luck to you.

[Frank and Racquel 18]

Call the USCIS ICE phone number, its on their webpage, They will take a report right over the phone and then they tell you to back it up with a letter to them. Basically what you do is withdraw your petition. You send USCIS a letter asking to withdraw your petition, explain what happened, give what ever evidence you have pertaining to where she is or might be. Then USCIS will send you a letter cutting you loose from all this and they will go after her.

[VeniyaAO 4]

Would she be able to marry another man and stay here within the 90 days? Or is the fiancee visa only allow her to marry me? I am worried maybe those numbers she was calling was another guy she online or something.

It seems she used 2000 minutes of talk time in 2 weeks and was on the internet constantly according to my extremely high cell phone bill.

[Leatherneck 693]

Think about it... this was planned and executed as planned, as evidenced by the phone bill. There must heve been red flags you missed because you loved her so much, you were sincere and you were in this for the right reasons.

I know it hurts and I feel your pain, do not try to second guess the mindset of a woman that would do that to you and give her the benefit of doubt.

Immediately take the advice given by the other posters here, also

Notify your credit card companies not to authorize any new charges to your cards until further notice.

You have no idea what personal and financial information about you she might have copied or made notes of.

She jumped the shark and acted too soon, when she realizes she is hosed without a marriage, do not accept any 'cute puppy dog'

stories to worm her way back into your house.

Put a chair under the door knobs or the front and back doors before you sleep tonight, you do not need to wake up with two big hairy guys standing in your bedroom tonight.

[cheerstoamerica 21]

Wow. I'm REALLY sorry that this has happened to you, but before taking time to feel sadness, you NEED to PROTECT yourelf.

1) If she has an ATM card to your account - shut it down.

2) If she has passwords to any of your bank acounts, email accounts, ANY acount - change them immediately.

3) Send a letter ASAP to USCIS and notify them of the course of events. This will protect you against her saying you were abusive. She can not apply for VAWA but she can allege abuse and you'd have a diffiult time to ever petition someone else if you decided to.

4) Change the locks on your doorss. She has abandoned the premises but if she decided to return tonight and just enter your place you'd be powerless to do anything about it.

5) Do NOT be alone with this woman if she contacts you. You could be set up for a potential abuse allegation.

I am so sorry that this has happened, but it could have been worse. You could have married this woman and thing could have become very difficult for you. Time heals - believe me when I say this but for now concentrate on protecting yourself.

Goiod luck.

I completely agree with this. ACT NOW please.