oath ceremony before POE with K1

[Kalice 0]

Before anyone jumps on me, I have searched and read over forty threads on this forum that relates to people who want to hold a religious ceremony before their fiance arrives in the US and actually marries. I don't feel my fiance and I are special in any way or better or more deserving of any one else who has had to sacrifice to get their visa. However, here is my situation and I hope someone can weigh in and tell me if it would be an acceptable solution.

My fiance is from Canada, she got approved for her K1 about four months ago but something happened and her father was diagnosed with a terminal illness. That is why she has not yet joined me in the US. He is a very sick man, cannot travel, and will not be with us for much longer. He has told us that his wish is to see his daughter marry.

We understand that it may very well be impossible to grant him his request while still retaining the K1 visa. All of the threads I've read contained people who were adamant that those who want to hold a ceremony before POE on a K1 should abandon their K1 and file for CR-1. Before we abandon our K1, my fiance suggested a very small, very private oath ceremony instead.

She will wear a nice dress (not a wedding dress), I will go to Canada with a few of my family members. We will have maybe ten family members there all dressed up and in the house my fiance and I will swear an oath to love one another for life and marry as soon as we can when we cross into the United States. There will not be clergy there, no papers signed, no officials, no wedding vows, no rings exchanged, not even a kiss. There will be pictures taken and I am worried about those as well as family members who might misconstrue this as a wedding when it is most definitely not.

Again, it is not my intention to mislead anyone, least of all any government entity. I only wish to know if this scenario is acceptable and we are running out of time to make a decision while the officials we have asked have given us conflicting answers. I have asked two different USCIS officials about this scenario. One said that ceremonies of any kind are not allowed prior to entry into the US. Another one said that having an oath ceremony is perfectly fine so long as there is no intention to pass an oath ceremony off as a marriage. We also understand that whether someone interprets something as a marriage or not depends entirely upon that person. Where one individual will see it as just two people making a promise in front of their families, another person might see that as a full wedding. Some opinions from those who have faced this situation before would be appreciated. Thank you.

[Janmerv2010 0]

I don't think it's gonna be a problem even if she wears a wedding dress or if its like a wedding ceremony. As long as you guys are not getting a marriage license or not signing any marriage certificate.

[Ontarkie 15,165]

You must be very careful with this, if it is performed by someone who is legally allowed to perform weddings it will be legally binding whether you sign or register anything at all, Canada will recognize it as a marriage. Now I put it like that because you must make sure it's just a blessing you are seeking not a wedding, then it is possible. Here is another option have your Fiance come to the US get married asap and file for AOS and then once you get your NOA1 go get a emergency AP. She should get all the documents needed from the doctors before she leaves. Just a thought others may have something better to add.

Prayers for your soon to be father-in-law

[Kalice 0]

Thank you for your understanding. We're not sure how long it will take for her to get NOA1 or an emergency AP. What we see it may not be in time for us to go then come back before it may be too late for her father or without losing her legal status and have to refile for CR-1. The oath ceremony will not have any sort of official persons there. None of my family members are in any way able to legally marry a couple either.

Edited October 14, 2011 by Kalice

[MJIrene 0]

You know I really feel for you in that situation, and will pray it works out for you. My father is also in very bad condition and I think it puts you in a tough situation. I wish the authorities would recognize these very human situations and respect the religious aspect of life, to honor your parents and to honor God and put those values above all. Be careful and just do everything honestly and I think it should work out. All best, MJ

[sib 7]

Does your fiancee already have the visa in her passport? It will expire 6 month after issuance.

I understand the problem you are having, but any ceremony that can be taken as a wedding is not an advantage to you!

Any way to get her to US, get the wedding done immediately, get the wedding on video and delivered to her dad? If he knows about what is going on, and the time frame from her leaving to him getting the video is not too long, this might work.

If you do a ceremony like that I would only do it for the dad and in front of the dad, not a lot of other family members!

Then get married ASAP, get the video to him and alredy have all the documents needed and information on how to obtain emergency AP. You should be able to get that one pretty quickly if necessary.

Wishing you luck!

Sib

[VanessaTony 3,567]

A blessing or whatever should be fine but.. you're not actually fulfilling his wish. Have you spoken with him about your plans? It would be akin to just turning to him tomorrow and saying "I love her, now we're married". That doesn't mean anything, you're not actually married.

Other suggestions would be having a steaming web cam for the wedding here in the US, then he sees the ACTUAL wedding and not something you just threw together.

Find out from him what EXACTLY he wants. Explain the process to him. Ask him what he needs. Whether it's the ACTUAL wedding, a video of the wedding, a blessing, a streaming webcam... You don't want to do this, risk her being able to come and it's not enough. I know if it was my wish and it wasn't the ACTUAL wedding it wouldn't really mean anything to see some sham ceremony.

[NigeriaorBust 4,096]

Seeing that this is not a legal thing maybe it would be a nice gesture to ask her father if he would like to be the one to officate at the ceramony. ( As long as he doesn't have the power to marry people normally )

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

Before anyone jumps on me, I have searched and read over forty threads on this forum that relates to people who want to hold a religious ceremony before their fiance arrives in the US and actually marries. I don't feel my fiance and I are special in any way or better or more deserving of any one else who has had to sacrifice to get their visa. However, here is my situation and I hope someone can weigh in and tell me if it would be an acceptable solution.

My fiance is from Canada, she got approved for her K1 about four months ago but something happened and her father was diagnosed with a terminal illness. That is why she has not yet joined me in the US. He is a very sick man, cannot travel, and will not be with us for much longer. He has told us that his wish is to see his daughter marry.

We understand that it may very well be impossible to grant him his request while still retaining the K1 visa. All of the threads I've read contained people who were adamant that those who want to hold a ceremony before POE on a K1 should abandon their K1 and file for CR-1. Before we abandon our K1, my fiance suggested a very small, very private oath ceremony instead.

She will wear a nice dress (not a wedding dress), I will go to Canada with a few of my family members. We will have maybe ten family members there all dressed up and in the house my fiance and I will swear an oath to love one another for life and marry as soon as we can when we cross into the United States. There will not be clergy there, no papers signed, no officials, no wedding vows, no rings exchanged, not even a kiss. There will be pictures taken and I am worried about those as well as family members who might misconstrue this as a wedding when it is most definitely not.

Again, it is not my intention to mislead anyone, least of all any government entity. I only wish to know if this scenario is acceptable and we are running out of time to make a decision while the officials we have asked have given us conflicting answers. I have asked two different USCIS officials about this scenario. One said that ceremonies of any kind are not allowed prior to entry into the US. Another one said that having an oath ceremony is perfectly fine so long as there is no intention to pass an oath ceremony off as a marriage. We also understand that whether someone interprets something as a marriage or not depends entirely upon that person. Where one individual will see it as just two people making a promise in front of their families, another person might see that as a full wedding. Some opinions from those who have faced this situation before would be appreciated. Thank you.

Basically your having what amounts to an engagement ceremony.. As long as no offcials are there and nothing is recorded on apper, I can't imagine how it could mess you up. I will say this. If push comes to shove, with her father terminally ill you could always marry and re-file. it would delay things but for a dying father what's 6-7 months.

[skiptex 225]

i am really sorry about your future father in law.. it must be a painful situation..

but i would be very careful about what VJ is advising you.. you should be worried about USCIS, they are the ones the matter.. at present day.. you are 1 - 1 with the officials.. One said its Cool.. another Said its not..

it is a huge risk..

jus try to get married asap.. here.. maybe get him a laptop and Live Stream it thru Skype..

jus becareful.. it is a very tough situation before you are in.. best of luck in this hard times..

also.. as scruffy said.. get married over there for him.. and refile.. its a win win then just delays you a little bit longer.. but it would give father in law some peace..

Edited October 15, 2011 by skiptex

[Kalice 0]

Thank you all for your sympathy and understanding in this situation. My fiance has spoken to her father and he was accepting of the oath ceremony given that he would not be able to join us in the US for our wedding.

We are only wrestling with whether or not USCIS will find this oath ceremony acceptable. It is true what someone said about it essentially being an engagement ceremony. If we find that even the oath/engagement ceremony is too risky, we'll cancel the K1 and get married and file for CR-1 instead. I am still holding onto some hope that we do not need to cancel the K1 as my future father-in-law was adamant that his condition not interfere with our visa plans. It's quite the problem.

Edited October 15, 2011 by Kalice