Life in USA turns out Hell to me and my kidS

[quartercloud 5]

Try to find a women and children's shelter in your area to protect you from your abusive husband. I don't think you can send your son in the Philippines that your husband may turn around and sue you for kidnapping. You can ask for legal aid to help you file a divorce and a child support.

You can't kidnap your own child!

[jrmejia 31]

Hello Everyone,

My husband is way to old to me for like 20 years gap,.

I am confused. Before you came to USA he looked young for you. After you came here you find him old? Is that what you are saying?

Go figure

-enufsaid

[Krikit 1,163]

This will be your one and only request to stop the judgemental comments. Thank you for your cooperation.

[payxibka 10,044]

You can't kidnap your own child!

dependent on the circumstances... there is such a thing as parental abduction when you have issues of custody in a divorce situation

[ana y ray 8]

You can't kidnap your own child!

Yes, you can be charge for kidnapping your own child. As the father he also has rights to the child. If she does not have full custody and takes him, she can be charge with kidnapping.

[Nero 17]

Find a women's charity or shelter and get out of this situation. You'll find safty and help. They'll be able to direct you to resourses and charities that will help you solve your problems. I'm sorry you're in this bad situation. Some people don't enter into marriage with the right intensions, and it sounds as if your husband is one of them. Unfortunatly some men who marry a forein national do so because they think their wife will be submissive and put up with more sh** than an american wife. I'm sorry this has happened to you. As an american man I can tell you that there are men who will give you the love and respect you need and DESERVE (and never forget that you deserve both). Take care!

[Krikit 1,163]

Post ignoring the warning has been removed and the member banned from thread.

[Lisa and Kano 2]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You are in an abusive relationship- the links that Helen provided will help you out. A women's shelter, or even the local YMCA/YWCA, are places where you could talk to someone in person and get some help.

[Harsh_77 716]

OP - so what where your thoughts when you married a USC?

How long had you 2 known each other before deciding to getting married?

I am kinda confused by your comment that he was way too old then what you were expecting - I would think you must have met him before you got married so what changed your views?

After reading your post it seems you were trying to get out of your home country to secure a better future for your children and thats something that made you marry him, without properly knowing him.

[Nero 17]

OP - so what where your thoughts when you married a USC?

How long had you 2 known each other before deciding to getting married?

I am kinda confused by your comment that he was way too old then what you were expecting - I would think you must have met him before you got married so what changed your views?

After reading your post it seems you were trying to get out of your home country to secure a better future for your children and thats something that made you marry him, without properly knowing him.

I was a bit confused about the age comment as well, however I know that sometimes people can turn into a completly different person when circumtances change. Like when she was in her home country maybe he was always sweet and loving and telling her how great her life in the US was going to be and now that she's here he's changed his tune. Maybe his age didn't bother her before because his sweetness compensated for it, but once the sweetness left she saw it as a problem. These kinds of things happen often, and maybe the OP's husband didn't even know it was going to happen when they got into this situation. Whatever the circumstances there is no reason to stay in an abusive marriage. It's not going to do anything good for the children. She's talking about sending her children back to her home country so obviously she's not trying to acheive battered woman amnesty. It's an unfortunate situation to be in regardless.

[Channah&Aaron 51]

; You should seek for legal advice about sending your children back to the Philipines, since it can be taken as kidnapping.

I know the sky is dark above your head, but it can't rain for ever. You have to stay strong and do whatever you think it's best for your children AND you.

Staying with this jerk will not do any good to you nor your children. It's all about living in happiness.

Try to find local organisations that help women in need, they have helped a lot of women like you and I think that would be a good first thing to do. With their help and your strength, you can go from there.

And yes, you should divorce him. If there's so much things you can't do or be, how can you still be yourself?

It's time to move on, and leave this horrible guy in his own horrible little world.

You and your children deserve the best, take actions asap.

Good luck

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

You can't kidnap your own child!

Would you have that same strong opinion if she had returned home to find the husband had taken the child to the other side of the country in some undisclosed location?

[TeddyHoney 42]

Sorry for your situation. If I may be so bold as to suggest that now you are near finishing school, try not to go back to Philippines just yet. If you can get some support and many here have suggested, and can find a community that has Filipino community, or at least many Filipino families (This helped my first wife so much when she first came) so you can have some Filipino friends then I believe you can get a job in the field you schooled for and stand on your own two feet and take care of your children yourself. Yes, that will be tough but you can do it and will find it so liberating and rewarding as well. Don;t take liberties with your son because his father can and probably will make trouble. But if you get a good lawyer you will get custody and then by law and what is decreed his contact will be limited. Do not take your son out of the state without getting legal advice first.

Try to make returning to the Philippines your last resort. Not that there's anything wrong with that as I know ou would be happy with your kids there, but if you can, try to make the best of this opportunity you have being here already in the USA especially since you have schooling in a trade now.

God bless you and your kids in this matter and I pray it all works out for the best.

[Harsh_77 716]

I was a bit confused about the age comment as well, however I know that sometimes people can turn into a completly different person when circumtances change. Like when she was in her home country maybe he was always sweet and loving and telling her how great her life in the US was going to be and now that she's here he's changed his tune. Maybe his age didn't bother her before because his sweetness compensated for it, but once the sweetness left she saw it as a problem. These kinds of things happen often, and maybe the OP's husband didn't even know it was going to happen when they got into this situation. Whatever the circumstances there is no reason to stay in an abusive marriage. It's not going to do anything good for the children. She's talking about sending her children back to her home country so obviously she's not trying to acheive battered woman amnesty. It's an unfortunate situation to be in regardless.

I am never asking to stay in abusive relation, and I am also aware that when ppl are dating they can be sweet and later turn into a abusive person.

Now that can go on both the sides, either her husband was really nice nice to start and was looking for like a mail order bride who would come to US and would cook, clean and look after his house.

OR

The OP was aware her husband was abusive and yet was just looking for someone who could get her and her kids out of her home country into US.

The thing that annoys me most is when ppl start blaming the other person for all the fault without knowing the complete story.

Thats the reason I was asking OP for how long she had known her husband ahd why they deiced to marry etc.

[cardigans5 43]

There are 3 sides to every story....his...hers...and the truth. If things aren't working out its a shame but how can you complain about an age difference when you had to know his age when you met?