Life in USA turns out Hell to me and my kidS

[mike42979 57]

Hello Everyone,

My husband is way to old to me for like 20 years gap,.

thank you!

I never understand why people marry so far outside their age group, it is very rare this is successful. Especially if you already think that he is way too old for you, why did you marry in the first place, was it for that elusive shot at a better life in America which isnt always the case as you have now found out?

[Kish.2328 9]

Hello, my name is Shane. Your post brought sadness to me.I am so sorry that you are dealing with a jealous,selfish,complete idiot who seems to think of no one but him self. You need to be strong for you and your children. There are many opportunities here for you and your kids. You are married to this man and have a child with him. You should never leave the home,make him leave. He is emotionally abusive which is not good for you and the children. Legally he will have to pay for child support for his son and they base that off his income. He signed a notice of support so he is obligated to take care of you and your other child. If you file for a divorce he will end up paying you alimony and child support. I highly recommend you seek free legal advice. One thing I do no about being a U.S. Citizen is you have rights now. Legally he just cant take everything and leave you and your kids with nothing. Please keep fighting the good fight and keep smiling)) One thing I hate is men that treat there woman with no respect and abuse them. Women are meant to be cherished respected and Loved. Unfortunately it sounds like your on a one way street,giving Love and respect but not getting it in return. Don't Let this one bad person give American men a bad name. There are many American men out there that no how to treat a woman,I Promise you that. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask. Take care of your self and your kids always. Shane

[Casprd 167]

Thank you Helen

We are here in Newhampshire part of NEw England.

You need to talk to an attorney right away. Many will tell you different things but you need to address yours and your childrens needs and safety first and foremost. I am so sorry you are going through this, but I hope many who think coming to america is "Heaven" will read your words and think carefully about what it will really be like here.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

I never understand why people marry so far outside their age group, it is very rare this is successful. Especially if you already think that he is way too old for you, why did you marry in the first place, was it for that elusive shot at a better life in America which isnt always the case as you have now found out?

The OP didn't come to the forum to be nagged. I understand that she stated that the husband is old. But for God sake, the poor woman is already in a very bad situation to be piled on with your nit picking.

[Psalm139 5]

I really dont know what to feel, this is such a horrible experience for you and your kids.. But see you are filipina and smart, just stay focus and do what is right for the welfare of your kids... Do not let that man lay down any single nasty words on you again, you do not deserve it.....Women should be loved, cared and respected.

Just lay down all your burdens to the Lord, i know that there will be many people who will help you from the women's welfare, God is good. Do not worry, soon this will end up.. If you wish to bring your children back here in the Philippines you may do so, but seek for the right legal advice so that u will not be sorry, make sure that u will talk to many people who are expert to this kind of situation so that u will have many options...

We will be praying for you... Just be careful to whom you will give your information, story etc.. you just dont know, there are people that might use you because of your situation...

God bless you and may the Lord protect you and your kids...

[Daniel&Theary 30]

I never suggest this to anyone but check into public assistance. Your husband sponsor does not mean he will support you but he is obligated to pay for your son. If you go on public assistance the the state will go after him for repayment. Until you can get on your feet. I would not suggest going back until you give America a chance on your own. Sounds like it would be much better for you alone then with an abusive man. Even if its not physical abuse mental abuse can be just as bad. Good Luck to you and your kids.

Edited June 13, 2011 by Daniel&Theary

[tOm♥LeZ 0]

Hi there!

I got teary eyed upon reading your bad experience in US. I hope everything will go smoothly with you. Entrust all your worries to GOD. I am praying for you as well. GOd Speed )

[Mrs O. 29]

Please dont make any hasty decisiosn about taking the children back to the Phillipines. I know its seems like an impossible task, supporting yourself and your 2 children, but it can be done. Sounds like you do have a few friends and you should be able to find women organisations that will be of help too. I for one cant think of ever ever being separated from my children. Dont underestimate the misery that separation from your chhildren can bring to you. Stay together and work it out, God will help you and send help your way.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

I never understand why people marry so far outside their age group, it is very rare this is successful. Especially if you already think that he is way too old for you, why did you marry in the first place, was it for that elusive shot at a better life in America which isnt always the case as you have now found out?

The issues the Op has mentioned have nothing to do with their age difference. He's a total jerk now and probably was 20 years ago. Even if she was his age he'd still be a complete a55 and treat her like this.

My wife is 15 years my junior and our successes/failures have had more to do with who we are and our feelings for each other than our respective ages.

[Tanoushka 7]

I'm so sorry to hear that things are not working out for you!

I believe great advice has been given to you already!

Please be careful (particularly with taking the children away) and take care of yourself and your kids.

[A and T 82]

Sorry to hear that, But yes, take a stand tell him you won't put up with it anymore and he needs to change or you will be gone. Have you found a job in the usa yet? maybe try that and separate from him and send you kids to school. If you dont like it, then think about going back.

[Psalm139 5]

The OP didn't come to the forum to be nagged. I understand that she stated that the husband is old. But for God sake, the poor woman is already in a very bad situation to be piled on with your nit picking.

I agree with you "happy in love". MARK42979 this comment is kinda nasty, having a husband who is far way too old and american is not an issue here, the issue is that the poor woman's husband is treating her so bad. Let us be an encourager not a "discourager". I dont know if the one who wrote this post is the american guy or the Filipina fiance. But whoever wrote this please be kind..... Thank you...

[Psalm139 5]

I never understand why people marry so far outside their age group, it is very rare this is successful. Especially if you already think that he is way too old for you, why did you marry in the first place, was it for that elusive shot at a better life in America which isnt always the case as you have now found out?

79

hmmm.... remember, you are not yet married.. you also do not not know whom you are marrying until you are in one roof.....attitude and behavior can be changed just overnight.... you still have a long way to go mike42979, we can just encourage the poor lady not to discourage her.. the issue here is not the age, but the way her husband is treating her..

[writers 1]

The OP didn't come to the forum to be nagged. I understand that she stated that the husband is old. But for God sake, the poor woman is already in a very bad situation to be piled on with your nit picking.

I totally agree with you...

[jameugiekaxavilon 25]

This is so sad. Hope everything will be okay and works out well!!