Life in USA turns out Hell to me and my kidS

[Donna33 0]

Hello Everyone,

Though I can share our experience here in America with my 2 young kids against my horrible life with my husband. We move here last year September 2010. I married to a US citizen guy and we have son which is 7 years old now and I have my own daugther before I marry him which is 9 years old now. It takes like 4 years the process of our Visa due to denial and re process again. I moved here with my 2 young kids knowing that life in america with him is heaven and a nice future to my children. I am wrong!! our life comes out Hell since we got here. My husband is way to old to me for like 20 years gap,. He is so emotionally abusive person..everytime he comes home we end up fighting, he love yelling at me infront of my children we started in a little conversation and it end up big because he never listen and he thinks whatever he decide is right and am always end up wrong. He is controlling me for my decision and for all my life. He dont like me having asian friend, he dont like me being exposed, he dont like me to have my freedom. He said that whatever he wants me to do I have to do it. He is so greedy, money and food. If he leave home and give me 20bucks when he comes back he expected reciept or prove what i spent on the money, I cannot even get a job because he dont want me to get a job he said I should only take care of him and the kids and thats all.

I stand behind him on all his decisions in a few months eventhought I am not happy..my first christmas here in America is full of tears we didnt celebrate the christmas because he is not in the mood to do. We went to church but he left us bcoz his dog jump out to his car and that we have to walk in a white snow freezing christmas eve carrying my 2 kids to get back home.

After a months behind his back-- finally stand on my feet! A friend of mine sponsor me to get to school nursing aid just to be able to handle myself and get a better job and not such to depend on him..I told him about my plan he wasnt happy because he said that my salary in nursing aid a week is enough to pay the taxes and babysitters to my kids.

My children is afraid of him ( his own son,and my daughter) there is no moment that I never cried of what he did to me, he is emotionally abusive to me..he yelled and embarrashed me infront of people even we go shopping our food he yelled to me if i cannot hear what he said. God Knows I felt so much pain beside him.

2 days ago, I called his phone, let him know that I got a call from school about my daughter personal problem which I think my daughter is affected of what is happening to our life here, my daughter is begging me to go back to Philippines where they are happy and they are not happy here. Anyway, the school called me to schedule a meeting regarding my daughter and I told him and I said I felt sad because I blame to him what is going on and I ask him if he can do it or he cares for the family then i ask him to change his attitude and show a little respect to me or stop yelling at me infront for the children I said to him if he wont change then its better for us to go back To Philippines where we are happy and my childrens. He said to me and he work his #### to feed us and I have the nerve to blame all this to him. I just ask him to change his nasty attitude but he dont understand. I call a friend of mine to sleep 1 night at her house just to get away from him and want him to think what he done to us. but dispite it comes out really bad.

He turn on my friend back and sending my friend nasty messages he was mad on my friend of giving us a room for a night to sleep. then when we go back home the next day he wasnt here but he leave me a note in the wall that he is not coming back and that i have to support the children on my own. I am so confused!! I dont know what i've done wrong to him of treating us like this. We have such a terrible moment here in USA and the sad part is why my children have to be here to witness this life. My children born with so much love and care to my family, they grow up of laughters and smiles and hugs with my loving families..then when we move here what they saw is my tears, yelling, and my terrible husband. I dont know what to do..

My daugther is a green card holder for 10 years and so I am. my son is a us citizen here in America.

what my plan is...to send them back to Philippines...after my graduation and once i get my reimbursement back from my school. I dont know if my plan is right, but I like to go back to Philippines and leave my children to my family and I go back here to work and send support to them. I know from myself that I cannot handle my 2 children here with my miserable life. I dont drive here and currently a student. I dont know what to do. He left us yesterday with nothing, no food in the fridge and no money, how can I support my children in this situation and the apartment is behind the rent. I dont know what to do. please anybody give me advice on what to do If i send my children back in Philippines for their own safety and what will happen to thier citizenship and my daughter 10 years greencard?

please I need an advice I have a friend willing to loan money to buy ticket just to take my children back to Philippines.

I expected answer please...

thank you!

[Helen Louise Pile 80]

Hello,

What an awful situation to have happened to you. I am so sorry.

What State are you in? I would like to direct you to a local womens charity. They may be able to help you with rent and childcare.

Kind regards,

Helen

[Donna33 0]

Hello,

What an awful situation to have happened to you. I am so sorry.

What State are you in? I would like to direct you to a local womens charity. They may be able to help you with rent and childcare.

Kind regards,

Helen

Thank you Helen

We are here in Newhampshire part of NEw England.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Sorry for your problems, your son will not lose his citizenship, but if your daughter is out of the US more than 1 year she will lose her 10 year green card.

When and if your daughter wish to re-enter the US later in life, you will be able to re-petition for her. This will involve a long process, but you must think of her happiness now.

[Donna33 0]

Sorry for your problems, your son will not lose his citizenship, but if your daughter is out of the US more than 1 year she will lose her 10 year green card.

When and if your daughter wish to re-enter the US later in life, you will be able to re-petition for her. This will involve a long process, but you must think of her happiness now.

Thank you so much---thats all I want to hear! my children happiness is the most important to me. what is the source of their life here if they're not happy. I knew I cannot handle 2 kids without support here and I need to get a job in able to survived. but having them while they not happy then it make my life so much complicated.

[Helen Louise Pile 80]

Here are some links to organisations in NH which may be helpful.

http://www.newbeginningsnh.org/homepage.html

http://asafeplacenh.org/newsite/wordpress/

This link has a list of shelters:

http://www.divorcesource.com/shelters/newhampshire.shtml

This is a great list of resources: http://www.newbeginningsnh.org/sisteragencies.html

If I were you, I would also seek legal advice (Womens organisations can often provide you with legal advice) before taking your son out of the US without the agreement of the father.

My sister was in an abusive relationship and womens organisations helped a lot. I worked at one in Alaska and learned that they really can be a link to great support and information.

Very best wishes,

Helen

Edited June 12, 2011 by Helen Louise Pile

[walls1010 3]

Try to find a women and children's shelter in your area to protect you from your abusive husband. I don't think you can send your son in the Philippines that your husband may turn around and sue you for kidnapping. You can ask for legal aid to help you file a divorce and a child support.

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

Are you in Southern or Northern NH? My family and I are in Southern NH, and I can help you look for organizations to help.

[MikeandJaq 0]

Hi please pm your number let me call u now I hope I can help you..I'm filipina po..

Hello Everyone,

Though I can share our experience here in America with my 2 young kids against my horrible life with my husband. We move here last year September 2010. I married to a US citizen guy and we have son which is 7 years old now and I have my own daugther before I marry him which is 9 years old now. It takes like 4 years the process of our Visa due to denial and re process again. I moved here with my 2 young kids knowing that life in america with him is heaven and a nice future to my children. I am wrong!! our life comes out Hell since we got here. My husband is way to old to me for like 20 years gap,. He is so emotionally abusive person..everytime he comes home we end up fighting, he love yelling at me infront of my children we started in a little conversation and it end up big because he never listen and he thinks whatever he decide is right and am always end up wrong. He is controlling me for my decision and for all my life. He dont like me having asian friend, he dont like me being exposed, he dont like me to have my freedom. He said that whatever he wants me to do I have to do it. He is so greedy, money and food. If he leave home and give me 20bucks when he comes back he expected reciept or prove what i spent on the money, I cannot even get a job because he dont want me to get a job he said I should only take care of him and the kids and thats all.

I stand behind him on all his decisions in a few months eventhought I am not happy..my first christmas here in America is full of tears we didnt celebrate the christmas because he is not in the mood to do. We went to church but he left us bcoz his dog jump out to his car and that we have to walk in a white snow freezing christmas eve carrying my 2 kids to get back home.

After a months behind his back-- finally stand on my feet! A friend of mine sponsor me to get to school nursing aid just to be able to handle myself and get a better job and not such to depend on him..I told him about my plan he wasnt happy because he said that my salary in nursing aid a week is enough to pay the taxes and babysitters to my kids.

My children is afraid of him ( his own son,and my daughter) there is no moment that I never cried of what he did to me, he is emotionally abusive to me..he yelled and embarrashed me infront of people even we go shopping our food he yelled to me if i cannot hear what he said. God Knows I felt so much pain beside him.

2 days ago, I called his phone, let him know that I got a call from school about my daughter personal problem which I think my daughter is affected of what is happening to our life here, my daughter is begging me to go back to Philippines where they are happy and they are not happy here. Anyway, the school called me to schedule a meeting regarding my daughter and I told him and I said I felt sad because I blame to him what is going on and I ask him if he can do it or he cares for the family then i ask him to change his attitude and show a little respect to me or stop yelling at me infront for the children I said to him if he wont change then its better for us to go back To Philippines where we are happy and my childrens. He said to me and he work his #### to feed us and I have the nerve to blame all this to him. I just ask him to change his nasty attitude but he dont understand. I call a friend of mine to sleep 1 night at her house just to get away from him and want him to think what he done to us. but dispite it comes out really bad.

He turn on my friend back and sending my friend nasty messages he was mad on my friend of giving us a room for a night to sleep. then when we go back home the next day he wasnt here but he leave me a note in the wall that he is not coming back and that i have to support the children on my own. I am so confused!! I dont know what i've done wrong to him of treating us like this. We have such a terrible moment here in USA and the sad part is why my children have to be here to witness this life. My children born with so much love and care to my family, they grow up of laughters and smiles and hugs with my loving families..then when we move here what they saw is my tears, yelling, and my terrible husband. I dont know what to do..

My daugther is a green card holder for 10 years and so I am. my son is a us citizen here in America.

what my plan is...to send them back to Philippines...after my graduation and once i get my reimbursement back from my school. I dont know if my plan is right, but I like to go back to Philippines and leave my children to my family and I go back here to work and send support to them. I know from myself that I cannot handle my 2 children here with my miserable life. I dont drive here and currently a student. I dont know what to do. He left us yesterday with nothing, no food in the fridge and no money, how can I support my children in this situation and the apartment is behind the rent. I dont know what to do. please anybody give me advice on what to do If i send my children back in Philippines for their own safety and what will happen to thier citizenship and my daughter 10 years greencard?

please I need an advice I have a friend willing to loan money to buy ticket just to take my children back to Philippines.

I expected answer please...

thank you!

[gigi_a 0]

Hello Everyone,

Though I can share our experience here in America with my 2 young kids against my horrible life with my husband. We move here last year September 2010. I married to a US citizen guy and we have son which is 7 years old now and I have my own daugther before I marry him which is 9 years old now. It takes like 4 years the process of our Visa due to denial and re process again. I moved here with my 2 young kids knowing that life in america with him is heaven and a nice future to my children. I am wrong!! our life comes out Hell since we got here. My husband is way to old to me for like 20 years gap,. He is so emotionally abusive person..everytime he comes home we end up fighting, he love yelling at me infront of my children we started in a little conversation and it end up big because he never listen and he thinks whatever he decide is right and am always end up wrong. He is controlling me for my decision and for all my life. He dont like me having asian friend, he dont like me being exposed, he dont like me to have my freedom. He said that whatever he wants me to do I have to do it. He is so greedy, money and food. If he leave home and give me 20bucks when he comes back he expected reciept or prove what i spent on the money, I cannot even get a job because he dont want me to get a job he said I should only take care of him and the kids and thats all.

I stand behind him on all his decisions in a few months eventhought I am not happy..my first christmas here in America is full of tears we didnt celebrate the christmas because he is not in the mood to do. We went to church but he left us bcoz his dog jump out to his car and that we have to walk in a white snow freezing christmas eve carrying my 2 kids to get back home.

After a months behind his back-- finally stand on my feet! A friend of mine sponsor me to get to school nursing aid just to be able to handle myself and get a better job and not such to depend on him..I told him about my plan he wasnt happy because he said that my salary in nursing aid a week is enough to pay the taxes and babysitters to my kids.

My children is afraid of him ( his own son,and my daughter) there is no moment that I never cried of what he did to me, he is emotionally abusive to me..he yelled and embarrashed me infront of people even we go shopping our food he yelled to me if i cannot hear what he said. God Knows I felt so much pain beside him.

2 days ago, I called his phone, let him know that I got a call from school about my daughter personal problem which I think my daughter is affected of what is happening to our life here, my daughter is begging me to go back to Philippines where they are happy and they are not happy here. Anyway, the school called me to schedule a meeting regarding my daughter and I told him and I said I felt sad because I blame to him what is going on and I ask him if he can do it or he cares for the family then i ask him to change his attitude and show a little respect to me or stop yelling at me infront for the children I said to him if he wont change then its better for us to go back To Philippines where we are happy and my childrens. He said to me and he work his #### to feed us and I have the nerve to blame all this to him. I just ask him to change his nasty attitude but he dont understand. I call a friend of mine to sleep 1 night at her house just to get away from him and want him to think what he done to us. but dispite it comes out really bad.

He turn on my friend back and sending my friend nasty messages he was mad on my friend of giving us a room for a night to sleep. then when we go back home the next day he wasnt here but he leave me a note in the wall that he is not coming back and that i have to support the children on my own. I am so confused!! I dont know what i've done wrong to him of treating us like this. We have such a terrible moment here in USA and the sad part is why my children have to be here to witness this life. My children born with so much love and care to my family, they grow up of laughters and smiles and hugs with my loving families..then when we move here what they saw is my tears, yelling, and my terrible husband. I dont know what to do..

My daugther is a green card holder for 10 years and so I am. my son is a us citizen here in America.

what my plan is...to send them back to Philippines...after my graduation and once i get my reimbursement back from my school. I dont know if my plan is right, but I like to go back to Philippines and leave my children to my family and I go back here to work and send support to them. I know from myself that I cannot handle my 2 children here with my miserable life. I dont drive here and currently a student. I dont know what to do. He left us yesterday with nothing, no food in the fridge and no money, how can I support my children in this situation and the apartment is behind the rent. I dont know what to do. please anybody give me advice on what to do If i send my children back in Philippines for their own safety and what will happen to thier citizenship and my daughter 10 years greencard?

please I need an advice I have a friend willing to loan money to buy ticket just to take my children back to Philippines.

I expected answer please...

thank you!

This is a very bad situation :{

First of all do not get discouraged. He is probably mad because you finally stood up to him and defended yourself. If he comes back (which he probably will) you can try and work it out. There are many ways to try and do so if you are interested in fixing your marriage - marriage counceling for one. If not, he is the father of your child and he has to pay child support. You can always look for help. There are many state programs which you would be able to qualify for that could provide childcare and put food on the table while you are in school. The thing is though if you send your daughter back to your country and she stays there for longer than 1 year she looses the GC and the waiting period on those if you refile later on to get it back are soooo long. Plus the children is are at an age when they would be able to learn good english here and adapt. It would be harder to send them back and then have them come later on. Things don't seem so great now but remember why you wanted to live here in the first place - to be with your husband for one but also to give your children a better chance in life!

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

I am sorry for your demise. Some good advices are given above. Stay strong and hope everything works out well.

Best wishes...

Edited June 13, 2011 by ~happyndinlove~

[Aztec&Taino 144]

I am sorry to read your story. It is always sad when things do not turn out the way you wanted them to be. You can divorce your husband and live, on your own, in the US. Many women have faced the challenge of being single or divorced mothers. It really is a difficult challenge, but think of the opportunities you will be giving your children if you stay in the US rather than going back to your country. Best wishes and take care!

[charlize56 4]

OMG,AFTER WAITING FOR 4 YEARS TO GET THERE???THATS WHAT HAPPENING TO YOU???IM SORRY ABOUT THAT,BUT SO CONFUSED AS TO WHY HE TREATED YOU THAT WAY BUT HE WAITED YOU FOR SUCH A LONG TIME...THATS CRAZY!

[Alberto&Asni 0]

Hello Everyone,

Though I can share our experience here in America with my 2 young kids against my horrible life with my husband. We move here last year September 2010. I married to a US citizen guy and we have son which is 7 years old now and I have my own daugther before I marry him which is 9 years old now. It takes like 4 years the process of our Visa due to denial and re process again. I moved here with my 2 young kids knowing that life in america with him is heaven and a nice future to my children. I am wrong!! our life comes out Hell since we got here. My husband is way to old to me for like 20 years gap,. He is so emotionally abusive person..everytime he comes home we end up fighting, he love yelling at me infront of my children we started in a little conversation and it end up big because he never listen and he thinks whatever he decide is right and am always end up wrong. He is controlling me for my decision and for all my life. He dont like me having asian friend, he dont like me being exposed, he dont like me to have my freedom. He said that whatever he wants me to do I have to do it. He is so greedy, money and food. If he leave home and give me 20bucks when he comes back he expected reciept or prove what i spent on the money, I cannot even get a job because he dont want me to get a job he said I should only take care of him and the kids and thats all.

I stand behind him on all his decisions in a few months eventhought I am not happy..my first christmas here in America is full of tears we didnt celebrate the christmas because he is not in the mood to do. We went to church but he left us bcoz his dog jump out to his car and that we have to walk in a white snow freezing christmas eve carrying my 2 kids to get back home.

After a months behind his back-- finally stand on my feet! A friend of mine sponsor me to get to school nursing aid just to be able to handle myself and get a better job and not such to depend on him..I told him about my plan he wasnt happy because he said that my salary in nursing aid a week is enough to pay the taxes and babysitters to my kids.

My children is afraid of him ( his own son,and my daughter) there is no moment that I never cried of what he did to me, he is emotionally abusive to me..he yelled and embarrashed me infront of people even we go shopping our food he yelled to me if i cannot hear what he said. God Knows I felt so much pain beside him.

2 days ago, I called his phone, let him know that I got a call from school about my daughter personal problem which I think my daughter is affected of what is happening to our life here, my daughter is begging me to go back to Philippines where they are happy and they are not happy here. Anyway, the school called me to schedule a meeting regarding my daughter and I told him and I said I felt sad because I blame to him what is going on and I ask him if he can do it or he cares for the family then i ask him to change his attitude and show a little respect to me or stop yelling at me infront for the children I said to him if he wont change then its better for us to go back To Philippines where we are happy and my childrens. He said to me and he work his #### to feed us and I have the nerve to blame all this to him. I just ask him to change his nasty attitude but he dont understand. I call a friend of mine to sleep 1 night at her house just to get away from him and want him to think what he done to us. but dispite it comes out really bad.

He turn on my friend back and sending my friend nasty messages he was mad on my friend of giving us a room for a night to sleep. then when we go back home the next day he wasnt here but he leave me a note in the wall that he is not coming back and that i have to support the children on my own. I am so confused!! I dont know what i've done wrong to him of treating us like this. We have such a terrible moment here in USA and the sad part is why my children have to be here to witness this life. My children born with so much love and care to my family, they grow up of laughters and smiles and hugs with my loving families..then when we move here what they saw is my tears, yelling, and my terrible husband. I dont know what to do..

My daugther is a green card holder for 10 years and so I am. my son is a us citizen here in America.

what my plan is...to send them back to Philippines...after my graduation and once i get my reimbursement back from my school. I dont know if my plan is right, but I like to go back to Philippines and leave my children to my family and I go back here to work and send support to them. I know from myself that I cannot handle my 2 children here with my miserable life. I dont drive here and currently a student. I dont know what to do. He left us yesterday with nothing, no food in the fridge and no money, how can I support my children in this situation and the apartment is behind the rent. I dont know what to do. please anybody give me advice on what to do If i send my children back in Philippines for their own safety and what will happen to thier citizenship and my daughter 10 years greencard?

please I need an advice I have a friend willing to loan money to buy ticket just to take my children back to Philippines.

I expected answer please...

thank you!

I'm sorry to hear what you've been thru! It's heartbreaking that after all you've went thru with your kids - things doesn't go the way you want them to be but I am sure there are some organizations out there that can help you. No matter what your decision is, I praying that things will work out the best for you and your kids *hugs* Don't be discourage and be strong!

[zeth77 0]

ask a legal advice and filed a divorce and if u file divorce u can demand a child support for your son and u can't send back your son in the philippines without the consent of the father because your husband can sue u for a kidnapping if you do that. but u need money to file divorce ask an assistance to an organization in your place regarding women's and children protection, and the best thing is to pray and have faith to God he will never leave God will give u strength and guidance. just be strong and there is a lot of pipol who wants to help you here you are not alone sis. i will keep u in my prayer's that hope everything will turn out right.