Marriage without full-blow wedding

[S and R 8]

Hi everyone,

My girlfriend lives in the USA and she has hinted that we have to get married as the 'long distance relationship' is not good for her (she is questioning my commitment....). The issue is I cannot afford a fullblown wedding - reception, limos, etc as most of money is for travel to the US and for supporting the family (kids from ex-boyfriend; I dont mind looking after them). Can she file I-130 for me without wedding photos? Only marriage cert and may be a few photos with friends. I have promised her a reception when all this is out of the way. Please advise. Is other 'evidence of relationship'without wedding OK?

[Canadiandggal 49]

Hi everyone,

My girlfriend lives in the USA and she has hinted that we have to get married as the 'long distance relationship' is not good for her (she is questioning my commitment....). The issue is I cannot afford a fullblown wedding - reception, limos, etc as most of money is for travel to the US and for supporting the family (kids from ex-boyfriend; I dont mind looking after them). Can she file I-130 for me without wedding photos? Only marriage cert and may be a few photos with friends. I have promised her a reception when all this is out of the way. Please advise. Is other 'evidence of relationship'without wedding OK?

That does not sound like the best reason to rush getting married however I do know that it is hard to be away from the one you love and distance can make a persons mind and soul go crazy (people sometimes start questioning commitment etc)

My husband and I got married at a Court house, The only other person in the room was my son and the court lady. We asked her If she could take a Picture of us and she did one of us kissing after our vows, then we went outside and took a few pictures of us by some flowers (we put the camera ontop of our car and ran for the 10 second countdown. We then went out for lunch as MR&Mrs...Oh and we rented a sports car for a day (It was AWESOME)

You could do the same thing, Go to a Court house and bring a few friends to celebrate with you, ask them to take pictures and take them out for lunch to enjoy the day with you. You can have a inexpensive but yet awesome day.

We sent in some pictures with our i130 but You cant really tell they are wedding pictures as I am not wearing a wedding dress, we just look dressed up. It would be nice to have a few though.

They are going to want to see evidence of on going relationship, chat logs,emails, phone records,travel records,flight tickets etc.

Edited January 16, 2011 by Canadiandggal

[S and R 8]

Thanks for the advice. I do have a good job here and mortgage commitments so I cannot just pack up and go. I have managed trips to the US every 3-4 months and for Xmas/New year breaks. I am on VWP so travel to US is hassle-free. I guess I have to start collecting the additional evidence. One question - we hardly email each other, I call randomly several times a day and she only texts 'Please call....'. Thats how we communicate. Are phone records good enough evidence? Should we start emailing each other now? The other evidence you mentioned should be easy to collate. Thanks in advance......

[yohino 22]

We also had a small court house marriage, mainly so we could start the immigration process, we had a bigger celebration on our 1y anniversary.

So for immigration that is all well and ok.

If your spouse-to-be is questioning your commitment that's something you have to deal with before hand.

Having pics from a civil service is sufficient as "wedding pics".

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Hi everyone,

My girlfriend lives in the USA and she has hinted that we have to get married as the 'long distance relationship' is not good for her (she is questioning my commitment....). The issue is I cannot afford a fullblown wedding - reception, limos, etc as most of money is for travel to the US and for supporting the family (kids from ex-boyfriend; I dont mind looking after them). Can she file I-130 for me without wedding photos? Only marriage cert and may be a few photos with friends. I have promised her a reception when all this is out of the way. Please advise. Is other 'evidence of relationship' without wedding OK?

K3 doesn't exist now. Any reason why you wanna do a CR-1 (which you would do instead of K3) instead of the K1? CR-1 is better in that it works out cheaper in the end and that you get a GC on entry, but K1 is quicker because it can be started now (and not wait for your next visit). In Aus you're looking at 5-6 months and you'll have the K1 visa, assuming 3 months from NOA1 to NOA2. But then you can't work until you get your GC which is around 3 months from sending off the paperwork.. so if you're the bread-winner then it's definitely not the option for you.

Also out of interest, a small intimate wedding in the US need not be as expensive as you think. Ours was less than $5K and we had a "full-blown" wedding (though I exclude my dress from that, that was my Aussie splurge ).

Also, has she considered moving to Australia? I don't know if you've looked into income in the US but it sucks... especially at first, depending on your field. If you're the bread-winner she might be better off moving to you (or at least considering it). Has she visited Australia? Maybe the next ticket can be a trip for her to Aus to see what she thinks (kids can stay with family). Just an idea.

To answer your question directly, no problem with just a small wedding. Try and take a few, have someone take a photo of the first kiss and exchange of rings and all that.

Side note - I do understand her ultimatum for "marriage or nothing" as Tony and I had a similar discussion. It wasn't that I doubted his commitment or he mine, we just were over the long distance stuff and I had no ties at that time so it was the best time to start it all. Something about reading "ultimatum" and that she doubts your commitment doesn't sound good but then only you know if you're ready for "marriage and the whole she-bang".. but like I said, the income in the US sucks so maybe have a look at jobs online before you decide US over Australia though, or at least yet. I was surprised at the huge drop in income (I'm used to at least $20 an hour, now I've gotta set my sights at $10.. perhaps even at BEST.. ugh.. painful.. even Safeway's pay rates would make you more than middle-income in the US!)

[S and R 8]

Thanks for your comments.

After your comments, the CR1 certainly is a better option. I will be travelling again in April/May, and from our call today, she has plans for the court marriage. The long CR1 processing time will be a blessing in disguise as I will continue to work for a few more months here to boost our savings. Also, the equity in my Sydney property will suffice to purchase a home outright on arrival.

Interesting comment about the job prospects and pay in the US. We are spoilt here with the job vacancies. I am a Technology Project Manager and I am (somewhat....) optmistic about job prospects but I was advised my lack of US experience will be a big negative. We are planning for 3-6 months of unemployment. My initial plan was for the family to move to Australia but her parents are against the idea as no one in there family has ever been out of the USA. Besides, 4 people relocating is a major event even though Australia immigration is not as 'rigid'.

How important are emails for evident of ongoing relationship? We never email each other! Lots of phone calls though, daily actually, and even more text messages. Would this be a negative? Thanks in advance......

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

we got married on the front lawn by a JP. It was good enough for AOS. I submitted NO photos for AOS or Removal of Conditions. NONE. As in...NONE. No photos are required to prove a marriage relationship.

[carolynhotstuff 252]

My husband and I emailed each other often and when he went for his interview the CO did read a few of our emails. So I would say yes you should start emailing.

[Barbara J 115]

Thanks for your comments.

After your comments, the CR1 certainly is a better option. I will be travelling again in April/May, and from our call today, she has plans for the court marriage. The long CR1 processing time will be a blessing in disguise as I will continue to work for a few more months here to boost our savings. Also, the equity in my Sydney property will suffice to purchase a home outright on arrival.

Interesting comment about the job prospects and pay in the US. We are spoilt here with the job vacancies. I am a Technology Project Manager and I am (somewhat....) optmistic about job prospects but I was advised my lack of US experience will be a big negative. We are planning for 3-6 months of unemployment. My initial plan was for the family to move to Australia but her parents are against the idea as no one in there family has ever been out of the USA. Besides, 4 people relocating is a major event even though Australia immigration is not as 'rigid'.

How important are emails for evident of ongoing relationship? We never email each other! Lots of phone calls though, daily actually, and even more text messages. Would this be a negative? Thanks in advance......

No emails are not that important we never used them as we didn't email either just text and yahoo'd and you just need pics of your meetings is all.

[Darnell 8,478]

*** moving to IR-1/CR-1 visa forum ***

[keysjangle 145]

My husband and I did the courthouse wedding as well. We have pictures of us in the tacky wedding arbour, and from throughout the ceremony (putting on rings, etc). My mom came for the day, so she was taking photos, and the official also took a photo of 3 of us together. We're having our reception in the next couple of months when he's here: pictures with both sides of my family, more with friends, etc.

You just have to be creative, "What shows that we have a real relationship?" like others have said, e-mails, phone records, etc are just the start of what you can use.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Thanks for your comments.

After your comments, the CR1 certainly is a better option. I will be travelling again in April/May, and from our call today, she has plans for the court marriage. The long CR1 processing time will be a blessing in disguise as I will continue to work for a few more months here to boost our savings. Also, the equity in my Sydney property will suffice to purchase a home outright on arrival.

Interesting comment about the job prospects and pay in the US. We are spoilt here with the job vacancies. I am a Technology Project Manager and I am (somewhat....) optmistic about job prospects but I was advised my lack of US experience will be a big negative. We are planning for 3-6 months of unemployment. My initial plan was for the family to move to Australia but her parents are against the idea as no one in there family has ever been out of the USA. Besides, 4 people relocating is a major event even though Australia immigration is not as 'rigid'.

How important are emails for evident of ongoing relationship? We never email each other! Lots of phone calls though, daily actually, and even more text messages. Would this be a negative? Thanks in advance......

When it comes to Visa processing, different countries have different "standards" and some countries are high fraud and others low. Australia is a very easy consulate so some of the standards that others go by don't apply to Australia. For that reason most of the visa stuff is country specific. There's Australian threads listed in my signature. Come on over and say hi

In regards to your question, when I had my K1 interview I took emails, and chat logs and more photos... NONE of that was even looked at. They had basically already decided based on our file and just asked a couple of questions. I'm not sure if it helped that I was having flight issues and offered my (then) fiances phone number as a contact number to find out what was going on while I was in transit.. but most people report that they ask a few questions but rarely look at the evidence we take (but don't take it and they're gunna wanna see it, you just know it ).

In regards to ongoing relationship evidence, some people don't type well (my husband is one of them), text msgs were too expensive for us so I got an iPhone (I had a blackberry but it's data plan sucked) so we could email each other instead of texting. Some couples only skype, some use other forms of Voip.. what I'm getting at is in today's electronic age no evidence is the same so just get together proof as YOU do it So based on your post that would be some phone bills of hers showing the texts to you. Depending on how you call (I used a Say G'day phone card for a while) try and get phone records to prove that. You said you support the family so evidence of sending money overseas will help in your case (there are some situations where sending money isn't good, yours is one where it IS good). Anything else you can think of showing proof of your ongoing relationship. Like your continual visits overseas (ticket stubs, itineraries etc), proof of sending parcels (if you have it).. anything else you can think of.

Seeing you've decided CR-1 (which given your situation is definitely the best option), I recommend seeing getting the stuff together for the CR1 now and taking whatever you need with you to your next visit in the US and filing it while you are there. When doing the K1 I had to send documents at least 3 times to Tony so he could send off the petition. It will be a lot simpler if you have it all ready to go while you're there. It will also mean spending less time apart while waiting. Also while you're in the US you might want to start looking at job prospects (where, how much for pay etc), that way you have an idea of what you're looking at and it's less of a shock.

Good luck and I hope to see you over at the Aussie chat page

[Brusik 11]

Most US consulates require a marriage certificate through Ministry justice. they don't acknowledge marriages outside US. They want more proof I assume...........

you can always redo vows in America

[yohino 22]

Most US consulates require a marriage certificate through Ministry justice. they don't acknowledge marriages outside US. They want more proof I assume...........

you can always redo vows in America

Where did you ever get that crazy idea?

Totally not true.

[Brusik 11]

Where did you ever get that crazy idea?

Totally not true.

American Consulate in Republic of Georgia said I had to do Ministry Justice.They said a church wedding would not do it alone.

I got the idea from no one............ It's what was told to me

Edited January 17, 2011 by darkdancer333