Losing faith

[Kristy S 13]

I am with You on this one. An only difference is that my AWFUL marriage ended ten years later than yours.

wow, props to you, 12 yrs was my breaking point, it was either divorce or i woulda killed him or myself.

[james&olya 1,121]

there is no way to make anything fair in life, especially where money or government is involved. if it was fair then maybe they'd have a way to focus on couples that are actually in love and not waste time on mail order brides for 50 something year old guys who can't find anyone in this country because they are so distateful as human beings, and yet you meet those couples all the time in real life, online, heck on the arms of government officals sometimes, lol.

if it was fair then the centers would co-ordinate their efforts to make sure that it's actually processed in order instead of having one be up to two months ahead of another.

if it was fair then the citizens of this country would be given precedence over helping out other countries (sorry, just saying)

life isn't fair, and that sucks, but they do say 5 months, and it's been over that for her, so she has a right to complain about it.

at least she's not one that is spazzing out and harassing her governor after 3 months of waiting, she has a legitimate right to be upset.

just curious as to why you think we are entitled to them within 60 days?

I find your comment about 50 something year old guys beyond distasteful, it is appallingly offensive!

[james&olya 1,121]

that is a great attitude. i watch my friends and employees month in and month out, dating, trolling bars, going out to find what i already have. i spent 12 years in an AWFUL marriage. now i have a man that is my perfect match in every way, and having to spend most of a year apart is a small price to pay in exchange for the rest of our lives together. and if we can make it through a year of long distance, what can't we make it through?

On this I am in complete agreement with you! Just when I am about to write you off you say something so totally true and up-beat! Go figure.

[Kristy S 13]

On this I am in complete agreement with you! Just when I am about to write you off you say something so totally true and up-beat! Go figure.

for some reason, in the area i live in there are a lot of rich yuppie jerks who basically buy foreign wives. i watch them go through the process practically seamlessly, and seeing as there is no real love there, they are basically without stress as well. it just makes me wish they weren't clogging up the system for the ppl that are suffering without their loved ones by their sides

[james&olya 1,121]

for some reason, in the area i live in there are a lot of rich yuppie jerks who basically buy foreign wives. i watch them go through the process practically seamlessly, and seeing as there is no real love there, they are basically without stress as well. it just makes me wish they weren't clogging up the system for the ppl that are suffering without their loved ones by their sides

I know that there are people applying for fiancee visas that are in it for reasons you and I might consider shallow. But this is undoubtedly true for both genders and all age groups. Blanket statements run the risk of crossing the line into prejudice (pre-judging, in this case based on age). Please don't consider all of us 50+ year-old males so inherently distasteful! This should be a place to bring support to others, not tear others down. Unless you really know someones situation well you run the risk of seriously missing the mark in your criticism. But I also sense that your point does have some basis in reality, though perhaps poorly aimed.

[KiwiBird 132]

Well, the glasses may be half empty, but at least we have glasses! Right? (I'm such a cheeseball, I know.)

I just wish I could share some positive attitude to everyone here.. because it really does give you the strength to get through each day. Looking forward to seeing him again (even if it does take a long time) is the only thing that gets me through the day to day routine.

[sachinky 464]

I just wanted to stop by and offer everyone here some support.

I was exactly where you were one year ago. Basically, tearing out my hair, that is. It was awful, the waiting, the not-knowing, the uncertainty. Every morning I'd wake up and be absolutely certain that it was going to be our day. At night, I'd cry into my pillow, curled up in a fetal position. Mr. Sachinky had a new job at that point and he wasn't going to get any leave at that point. The US Consulate told me there was no point trying for a tourist visa since most applicants with dual intent are denied.

It's hard to do, but wait, be patient. I got two jobs while I was waiting the process out at home. Ate copious amounts of Indian food. Drank some good wine. Read a book a day. Cooked with my mom, baked cakes for my dad. Attended any and all social functions despite wanting to slit my own wrists. Hung out with my high school chums, parents, cousins, etc. Kept Skype running 24/7. Did yoga. Re-read Harry Potter. Etc.

Soon it'll be over. The waiting for the NOA2 is the hardest part, IMO, unless you happen to get hit with an AP post-interview, of course. It'll be easier and smoother from now on.

God willing.

As I sit here, with Mr. Sachinky on his x-box, our Christmas tree shining brightly in the corner and I flip through my Cosmo, last year dims to a blur.

This too, shall pass.

Edited December 8, 2010 by sachinky

[KiwiBird 132]

Very well stated. That put a smile on my face, thank you, Sachinky!

[-teRe- 9]

Oh puleeze spare me. As a taxpayer, US citizen, and fee payor, I have the right to expect equal service. It has nothing to do with backbone, conviction, blah blah blah. I don't expect to be put on the backburner for an indefinite amount of time nor do I need to "find" another spouse because they are putting emphasis elsewhere. IF everyone was processed equally then you would hear no complaints from me BUT to accept someone to be processed in 10 months and another in 2 months yet pay the same fee is unacceptable. Yes, we can only vote people out of office but the bottom line is I have the RIGHT to say what I want. Patience is nice but so is equitable processing. And for the record, I would live in another country for my fiance if it came to that. The question is would you?

DEFINITELY RIGHT! :star: :star:

[thelastpetitioner 218]

Sadly, that is my reality too. If I had the money, I would fly to Ekaterinburg tomorrow and stay with Elena continuously until the day she got her visa, and then she and I would return to New York together.

But that is a financial fantasy. And moving to another country where visas are processed in a reasonable amount of time is a fantasy. And so is donating enough money to my Congress member to get him interested in introducing new laws to clean up this deplorable mess.

So I am at the mercy of our callous and arrogant government.

Government by the people? HA! What a joke!

exactly,my fiance is a marine,he is american,therefor iran is the unsafest place for him,everytime we wanna see eachother,we have to travel hours and hours,and spend thousands of dollars.

it really pisses me off when people tell me the alternative is living in a different country.

he has obligations to the marine corps,and by no means can move to iran,what the hell is OUR alternative?

[-teRe- 9]

When? December? January? February? March? April? Later? Will some bureaucrat subject me to some of the horror stories I have read here? The uncertainty is ripping my soul apart, and I just can't take any more of this. I need answers, and I need them now. If I knew the visa would be issued in April, for example, I would be fine. No uncertainty. Just circle a date on the calendar and wait.

But the uncertainty is doing ugly things to me. Every night when I come home from work, I look eagerly in the mailbox. When there is no NOA2 in it, I scream curses, kick the mailbox, and go into a frenzy of anger. I can't help it. I just can't take any more of this. It has to end.

I feel for you. Ignore those people who doesn't care about your situation or who are against your opinion or feelings. You don't have an obligation to please them and you don't need to listen to them too. If you feel that way, then say it. If they don't agree with you, then that's their problem already. Hoping for your petition approval soon. (***hugs***)

[KiwiBird 132]

I feel for you. Ignore those people who doesn't care about your situation or who are against your opinion or feelings. You don't have an obligation to please them and you don't need to listen to them too.

A different opinion means we don't care or are against them? "Black or white thinking" there... No obligation to listen to those saying "It will get better" and "Try to keep a positive outlook - it'll help things pass easier." Of course.

Sorry, but I still don't see how we "don't care" and are "against" him. We are experiencing the EXACT same thing!

Oh well. If people want to continue to get angry every day for it, they are more than welcome to, even if it is bad for their physical health and can cause fights/trouble within the relationship. *shrugs* Just seems like a silly way to spend your day, every day!

[thelastpetitioner 218]

A different opinion means we don't care or are against them? "Black or white thinking" there... No obligation to listen to those saying "It will get better" and "Try to keep a positive outlook - it'll help things pass easier." Of course.

Sorry, but I still don't see how we "don't care" and are "against" him. We are experiencing the EXACT same thing!

Oh well. If people want to continue to get angry every day for it, they are more than welcome to, even if it is bad for their physical health and can cause fights/trouble within the relationship. *shrugs* Just seems like a silly way to spend your day, every day!

kiwi,bottom line is you are a relatively new filer,your embassy is rather quick compared to some,its amazing that you take the wait and everything that is thrown at you so well,but you have no clue how horrible the wait and effects of it can get.

[Al422 221]

I really admire those of you with endless patience. I wish I had such patience. But I don't. I have that type A personality, the one that aggressively pursues what he wants and does not let up until he gets it. I never once sat back and waited for what I am entitled to, and I don't intend to start now.

Yes, we are all in this together. But that does not mean that we all have to deal with it in the same way. For those of you with endless patience, God bless you. But for those of us like me, whose patience has long since expired and who now feel only anger, let us deal with it in our own way. Either I vent the steam now or I let it build up until it turns me into some horrible monster not at all like the man my wonderful fiance fell in love with. I think I owe it to her to make the first choice.

[Blob18 111]

Petitions/Visas filed by tax paying, United States Citizens should be the #1 priority of the USCIS. Who pays their salary? The tax paying United States Citizen. All visas/petitions/AOS's/N-400's that arrive to any USCIS facility filed by a United States Citizen should be processed asap.

I frankly do not understand how a Temp. Protective Status visa applicant takes priority over a citizen (As is the case with VSC right now), and hell TPS applicants are able to work if they apply for EAD which they are able to do, so the average citizen, during a time when jobs are far and few, will have even more problems finding a job.

I have been to many countries around the world, and so has a significant family member who worked for the Dept. of State. I can tell you this. Of all the countries both of us have been to, the United States is the ONLY one to shove the interests of it's own citizens in the closet and take preference of non-citizens and illegals.