Divorce and Future Applications

[Arazia 0]

It's been a long time since I've posted on these forums. I'd figured that I'd said my last 'goodbye' to the world of fighting with immigration. Well... here I am again.

Some background:

My husband is from the Netherlands. We were married in April of 2007 (will be married 3 years on the 14th). He was approved for his ten-year greencard. We've had issues throughout our marriage that have nothing to do with nationalities, but personalities. He's been a student since arriving, and in '06 started not attending classes. He did badly for one semester and managed to convince me that it was just a couple of bad teachers. However, my family started telling me that he was not leaving the house. Halfway through the next semester, I called him on it and he admitted that he hadn't been attending school for over a month, and had been telling me lies so I wouldn't find out. Things were pretty rough after that, and he kept making promises to 'do better'. He worked a part-time job for half a year, and then went back to school. While he is doing somewhat better in his classes than before, he hasn't kept a single promise he made to me about his schooling (ie. doing homework in the evenings, keeping track of his grades, etc.). I've started to feel, more and more, like I have a teenage son rather than a husband. We have been semi-separated for about nine months now. I say 'semi' as we still live together, and I am still financially responsible for him, but our relationship has pretty much stagnated to the point of 'roommates' rather than husband and wife. Since the breakdown of my marriage, I have become much closer to a mutual friend of ours who lives in the United Kingdom and he has become closer to a girl in his class. We have both been involved in infidelity since the breakdown of our marriage.

So... Questions:

• 1. Am I correct in the fact that divorce, at this point, will not effect my husband's status as a ten-year greencard holder? It only means that he has to wait until he's a resident five-years to apply for citizenship (as opposed to the three if he were still married to me)?
• 2. Does anyone have any advice when it comes to do-it-yourself/uncontested divorce for the state of Illinois? Recommendations of good books/lawyers/websites/guides would be helpful. I consider myself responsible for my husband, since I brought him to the U.S. and even though our relationship isn't working, I do not plan on 'kicking him out' as he cannot support himself.
• 3. Does anyone know if filing for divorce on grounds of 'adultery' could be harmful to either of us? It is a misdemeanor in Illinois, but as far as I can tell, it is not often prosecuted. I don't think we qualify for a divorce under 'no fault' in Illinois, as we still live together and I am still financially responsible for him.
• 4. Am I correct in thinking that since it has been over three years since the initial visa application, that I would not need a waver if I decide to go ahead with applying for a second k-1 for my boyfriend in the UK?
• 5. If, after the divorce goes through, I do apply for a k-1 for my boyfriend, can I expect any major differences between the process the first time and the second? Do you think they will be more harsh in reviewing a second petition? Is there a higher likelyhood of interviews at the AOS/ROC level?

[besaangel 17]

Um wow. well technically you ARE still MARRIED so you cannot file anything for anyone else until your divorce is final... And no mean to pry but why are you two still living together if both if you are cheating? What is the point? And if you are still "living together" and you have three weeks left to do his paperwork, why are you questioning helping him?

My thing is if you wanted nothing to do with him, he'd been moved out. He can get his own job or apt and you bein extra nice and caring wont get him to leave- but that is just my opinion.

[Arazia 0]

Um wow. well technically you ARE still MARRIED so you cannot file anything for anyone else until your divorce is final... And no mean to pry but why are you two still living together if both if you are cheating? What is the point? And if you are still "living together" and you have three weeks left to do his paperwork, why are you questioning helping him?

My thing is if you wanted nothing to do with him, he'd been moved out. He can get his own job or apt and you bein extra nice and caring wont get him to leave- but that is just my opinion.

Apparently you aren't very good at reading...

There is no 'weeks left to file paperwork'. He has an approved ten-year greencard.

However, I will address your other points:

• Yes - I realize we are still married. However, we have both discussed and agreed on getting divorced. Thus, I am looking ahead to try to gather some information on the process and how it could effect me in the future when it comes to immigration issues.
• We are still living together because he cannot support himself. He is a student. He only has a part-time job, with a company shutting down in a few weeks, and makes less than $50 a week. As he does not have a college degree, it would be very difficult for him to find a job here in Chicago that pays enough for him to live on his own. As I said, I feel financially responsible for him as I did bring him to the United States, and I have no issue with continueing to help him get his degree.
• While our relationship as a married couple isn't working out, it doesn't mean we have to hate each other or I have to kick him out. It also doesn't mean that I want nothing to do with him.

Edited March 23, 2010 by Arazia

[TheBears 9]

1. Yes, you're correct.

2. No. My DIY divorce was in Texas.

3. When my ex an I filed, our situation was a little similar to yours. He had a girlfriend and I had begun talking to my current husband but we were only friends. The ex and I still filed a no fault divorce citing irreconcilable differences and, since we were still living together, the lack of marital relations for the 9 or so months prior to filing. We had no problems getting the divorce and to this day are still friends.

4. and 5. Having filed for a CR-1, I'm not entirely certain on the time limits between filing K-1 petitions. I can say to expect it to come up during the initial filing and again at the interview. Expect to be asked questions at the very least. If you're on good terms with your husband, then perhaps you can each write a letter explaining the breakdown of your marriage (no fault, remember). He can use yours when petitioning for citizenship and you can has his available if needed during your new K-1 adventure.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

1. Am I correct in the fact that divorce, at this point, will not effect my husband's status as a ten-year greencard holder? It only means that he has to wait until he's a resident five-years to apply for citizenship (as opposed to the three if he were still married to me)?

Divorce will not affect his status, other than when he will be eligible for citizenship, as you mentioned.

2. Does anyone have any advice when it comes to do-it-yourself/uncontested divorce for the state of Illinois? Recommendations of good books/lawyers/websites/guides would be helpful. I consider myself responsible for my husband, since I brought him to the U.S. and even though our relationship isn't working, I do not plan on 'kicking him out' as he cannot support himself.

There a many MANY websites that contain forms and advice on filing without an attorney. Do a Google search for "Illinois divorce forms" or "Illinois divorce law".

3. Does anyone know if filing for divorce on grounds of 'adultery' could be harmful to either of us? It is a misdemeanor in Illinois, but as far as I can tell, it is not often prosecuted. I don't think we qualify for a divorce under 'no fault' in Illinois, as we still live together and I am still financially responsible for him.

A "no fault" divorce in Illinois usually requires a 2 year period of separation. You can ask the judge to reduce the period to 6 months, but I think that's the best you're going to be able to do. If you need to file sooner than that, then you'll need to file based on fault. Adultery, while still technically a misdemeanor in Illinois, is very rarely prosecuted. Prosecutors consider it time consuming, costly, and largely pointless. Fornication is also, technically, a crime in Illinois. If they sought to prosecute for it then Oprah Winfrey would be facing a year in jail. There hasn't been a conviction for adultery in Illinois (that I was able to find) since 1943. A case was brought in Harvey, Illinois, in 1997, but the prosecutor refused to prosecute.

On the other hand, people divorce on the basis of adultery quite often in Illinois. There is no recent case (again, that I could find) where the divorce resulted in criminal prosecution of the accused adulterer.

4. Am I correct in thinking that since it has been over three years since the initial visa application, that I would not need a waver if I decide to go ahead with applying for a second k-1 for my boyfriend in the UK?

Yes. No waiver needed if this will be your second K1, and it's been more than 2 years since your first K1 was approved.

5. If, after the divorce goes through, I do apply for a k-1 for my boyfriend, can I expect any major differences between the process the first time and the second? Do you think they will be more harsh in reviewing a second petition? Is there a higher likelyhood of interviews at the AOS/ROC level?

Not likely to make any difference with the petition approval. Possible it might come up at the interview, but much less likely at the Embassy in London than with a high fraud consulate. Also possible it could come up at AOS or ROC, but not likely to be a problem.

[Mrs.J06 4]

It's been a long time since I've posted on these forums. I'd figured that I'd said my last 'goodbye' to the world of fighting with immigration. Well... here I am again.

Some background:

My husband is from the Netherlands. We were married in April of 2007 (will be married 3 years on the 14th). He was approved for his ten-year greencard. We've had issues throughout our marriage that have nothing to do with nationalities, but personalities. He's been a student since arriving, and in '06 started not attending classes. He did badly for one semester and managed to convince me that it was just a couple of bad teachers. However, my family started telling me that he was not leaving the house. Halfway through the next semester, I called him on it and he admitted that he hadn't been attending school for over a month, and had been telling me lies so I wouldn't find out. Things were pretty rough after that, and he kept making promises to 'do better'. He worked a part-time job for half a year, and then went back to school. While he is doing somewhat better in his classes than before, he hasn't kept a single promise he made to me about his schooling (ie. doing homework in the evenings, keeping track of his grades, etc.). I've started to feel, more and more, like I have a teenage son rather than a husband. We have been semi-separated for about nine months now. I say 'semi' as we still live together, and I am still financially responsible for him, but our relationship has pretty much stagnated to the point of 'roommates' rather than husband and wife. Since the breakdown of my marriage, I have become much closer to a mutual friend of ours who lives in the United Kingdom and he has become closer to a girl in his class. We have both been involved in infidelity since the breakdown of our marriage.

So... Questions:

• 1. Am I correct in the fact that divorce, at this point, will not effect my husband's status as a ten-year greencard holder? It only means that he has to wait until he's a resident five-years to apply for citizenship (as opposed to the three if he were still married to me)?
• 2. Does anyone have any advice when it comes to do-it-yourself/uncontested divorce for the state of Illinois? Recommendations of good books/lawyers/websites/guides would be helpful. I consider myself responsible for my husband, since I brought him to the U.S. and even though our relationship isn't working, I do not plan on 'kicking him out' as he cannot support himself.
• 3. Does anyone know if filing for divorce on grounds of 'adultery' could be harmful to either of us? It is a misdemeanor in Illinois, but as far as I can tell, it is not often prosecuted. I don't think we qualify for a divorce under 'no fault' in Illinois, as we still live together and I am still financially responsible for him.
• 4. Am I correct in thinking that since it has been over three years since the initial visa application, that I would not need a waver if I decide to go ahead with applying for a second k-1 for my boyfriend in the UK?
• 5. If, after the divorce goes through, I do apply for a k-1 for my boyfriend, can I expect any major differences between the process the first time and the second? Do you think they will be more harsh in reviewing a second petition? Is there a higher likelyhood of interviews at the AOS/ROC level?

I'm sorry to hear things did not work out for you.

I have no real advice, but I'd like to say that the possibility of a misdemeanor on my record (as a GreenCard holder) would make me a little nervous, in my opinion it's worth finding out the details on how that could harm you husband later on before going down that route. Just my two cents.

good luck!

[ziia 9]

Hi. I'm sorry to hear things didn't work out. I don't know the answer to all questions but I am from Illinois too, so here is what I know:

• 1. Am I correct in the fact that divorce, at this point, will not effect my husband's status as a ten-year greencard holder? It only means that he has to wait until he's a resident five-years to apply for citizenship (as opposed to the three if he were still married to me)?

That is correct.

2. Does anyone have any advice when it comes to do-it-yourself/uncontested divorce for the state of Illinois? Recommendations of good books/lawyers/websites/guides would be helpful. I consider myself responsible for my husband, since I brought him to the U.S. and even though our relationship isn't working, I do not plan on 'kicking him out' as he cannot support himself.

As Jim suggested, a quick google search might prove to be helpful. There are many guides online on where to go and get the papers you need and how to go step by step through the whole process. A good idea would also be for you to get a mediator. He/she will guide you through so you can do things faster and fill out the paperwork correctly.
It is very nice of you to help him and not kick him out. Illinois is absolutely a disaster of a state, in my opinion, when it comes to finding jobs. And they say Midwest should be the place for the "working class" lol. Now the job market is "moving" a little bit but on a scale compared to other states, 11.something unemployment rate(countrywide that rate went down a bit) as of last month places Chicago almost to bottom of the list with just 4 other US States. Anyhow, that's not something that important but I salute your sense of responsibility. I'm sure your ex is not happy with the situation either. Good luck to you.
In Illinois, even though you live in the same place, if you have separate rooms and have not had physical relations in 6 or more months, then you can wave the 2 years separation and get divorced. You might want to state irreconcilable differences if you want the divorce to be pronounced within a month or two.

3. Does anyone know if filing for divorce on grounds of 'adultery' could be harmful to either of us? It is a misdemeanor in Illinois, but as far as I can tell, it is not often prosecuted. I don't think we qualify for a divorce under 'no fault' in Illinois, as we still live together and I am still financially responsible for him.

Do not file on those grounds unless you want to get a lawyer and wait and wait and wait until you'll actually be divorced. Yes, you do qualify for "no fault" if you live in the same place, separate rooms. It is called separation period since the day he moved out to another room and have not had sexual contact with him.

5. If, after the divorce goes through, I do apply for a k-1 for my boyfriend, can I expect any major differences between the process the first time and the second? Do you think they will be more harsh in reviewing a second petition? Is there a higher likelyhood of interviews at the AOS/ROC level?

I don't think that you will encounter problems of any kind when you decide to get married with your UK now boyfriend, later fiance.

Good luck

Edited March 24, 2010 by ziia

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Don't forget about the original 864, unless he met any of the requirements to it being no longer in force, you will need to count him on your future 864 for the new guy.

Looking at your timelines you posted, I'm thinking it's still in force.

[Arazia 0]

Thanks so much to those who posted helpful replies.

Right now, my husband and I are just starting to look through the divorce process, and will probably file in May or June. I think we will try to file using 'no fault' if it works as everyone seems to be saying. We've gotten the phone number of a divorce lawyer from a friend, so we should be able to get good advice about that when we get to that point. Luckily, we have no debts and very few assets and nothing that either of us want to 'fight' over. So, I'm hopeful that process won't be too bad.

As for the future beyond that, I have seen a few people post about having gone through the process twice. So at least I know I'm not alone in that. There's no rush, and obviously getting the divorce handled comes first. Still, if going through this before has taught me anything, it's that I need to start collecting my 'proof' as early as possible. So I'm already keeping photos, itinteraries, etc. Just trying to look ahead to make sure everything is in place if I do decide to apply for another K-1 (which won't be until next year at the earliest). I did notice that I would have to list my ex-husband on the 'support' forms, which shouldn't be a problem.

Thanks for the input. For now, I'm going to get things arranged for my divorce and get that taken care of. I may be back later in the year when I start looking more seriously into the K-1 process again.

[rika60607 215]

You don't have to have a lawyer for uncontested divorce in IL.

(I did it myself)

You can file for divorce at any time, the do-it-yourself kit can be obtained online for about $200. It only matters that your court date is after the 6 month separation date, but the proceedings can be started awhile in advance. You will provide an affidavit signed by both parties, stating that you were separated for 6 months (it's OK if he still lives in your house, but you two cannot, uhm, have a relationship).

Expect court fees etc in Chicago to amount to about $500. That is without a lawyer.

You may have to provide financial support for him as part of divorce, since he has no income.

Right now, my husband and I are just starting to look through the divorce process, and will probably file in May or June. I think we will try to file using 'no fault' if it works as everyone seems to be saying. We've gotten the phone number of a divorce lawyer from a friend, so we should be able to get good advice about that when we get to that point. Luckily, we have no debts and very few assets and nothing that either of us want to 'fight' over. So, I'm hopeful that process won't be too bad.

[Arazia 0]

You don't have to have a lawyer for uncontested divorce in IL.

(I did it myself)

You can file for divorce at any time, the do-it-yourself kit can be obtained online for about $200. It only matters that your court date is after the 6 month separation date, but the proceedings can be started awhile in advance. You will provide an affidavit signed by both parties, stating that you were separated for 6 months (it's OK if he still lives in your house, but you two cannot, uhm, have a relationship).

Expect court fees etc in Chicago to amount to about $500. That is without a lawyer.

You may have to provide financial support for him as part of divorce, since he has no income.

Thank you, Rika.

You say you did it yourself?

Where did you find the information/kit/etc that you used?

Thank you for the helpful information.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Inappropriate comments that seem to be unrelated to the issue have been removed.

[rika60607 215]

Just google divorce in IL and pick a website that offers to prepare online divorce documents.

Some have options where you can at a later date involve a lawyer if your case gets complicated or if you decide that you would rather have a lawyer to represent you in court (otherwise you have to speak to the judge yourself).

[Lovechild 0]

Hello,

I have gone/going through the same scenario that you are going through. I live in Chicago and filed for my divorce on April 8th, it was final on April 15th. I did all the paperwork myself (with the help of an online divorce document service $249) I still have the forms if you want to use them. The filing fee is $527. It was a very simple process. My story is exactly like yours, except, my ex works two jobs. You can PM me if you have more questions.