Enforcing the affidavit of support

[Mr. Grey 0]

Hello all,

my story short and sweet: I am the foreign spouse, came to the U.S. in 2008 to get married to my wife. I brought all my savings, furnished our home, and had some starting capital left so we didn't have to worry while I was still on the outlook for a job.

She left me a couple of months ago and filed for divorce. She's assuming that I have major assets and cash reserves, and alleges everything and anything to get a huge slice of the cake. The problem is: I don't have what she's assuming, I barely have the funds to pay for my lawyer. My fear is now that she is dragging this divorce out, goes into discovery, and spends months and $$$$ just to find out what I already know. I already lost my job a couple of days ago, because I wasn't able to focus any more after she left.

My question pertains to the following: we signed an apartment lease, which ends in July 2010. The monthly rent is $1,300. Since I don't have an income any more, I won't be able to pay the rent from January on. Plus, I don't know where to get money to cover basic expenses like food etc. My plan is to go back to my home country soon, but I can't as long as the divorce is pending and she's playing treasure hunt.

Since she and both of her parents filed an affidavit of support with my GC application, I was wondering if they aren't obligated to help me out financially. Of course, it would be a freaky situation to ask my in-laws for financial aid while the divorce is pending. But their daughter on the other hand could just be reasonable and draw a bottom line under this divorce, since there is nothing to get for her. And as soon as I permanently move back to my home country, my GC becomes void and so does their affidavit of support.

Does anyone here have an answer to my question ?

Thanks.

[Gaynto 0]

Hello all,

my story short and sweet: I am the foreign spouse, came to the U.S. in 2008 to get married to my wife. I brought all my savings, furnished our home, and had some starting capital left so we didn't have to worry while I was still on the outlook for a job.

She left me a couple of months ago and filed for divorce. She's assuming that I have major assets and cash reserves, and alleges everything and anything to get a huge slice of the cake. The problem is: I don't have what she's assuming, I barely have the funds to pay for my lawyer. My fear is now that she is dragging this divorce out, goes into discovery, and spends months and $$$$ just to find out what I already know. I already lost my job a couple of days ago, because I wasn't able to focus any more after she left.

My question pertains to the following: we signed an apartment lease, which ends in July 2010. The monthly rent is $1,300. Since I don't have an income any more, I won't be able to pay the rent from January on. Plus, I don't know where to get money to cover basic expenses like food etc. My plan is to go back to my home country soon, but I can't as long as the divorce is pending and she's playing treasure hunt.

Since she and both of her parents filed an affidavit of support with my GC application, I was wondering if they aren't obligated to help me out financially. Of course, it would be a freaky situation to ask my in-laws for financial aid while the divorce is pending. But their daughter on the other hand could just be reasonable and draw a bottom line under this divorce, since there is nothing to get for her. And as soon as I permanently move back to my home country, my GC becomes void and so does their affidavit of support.

Does anyone here have an answer to my question ?

Thanks.

I am so sorry to hear about this. You may want to check and see if it is required that you stay in country for the divorce. If she has filed you may only need to sign a seperation agreement (from anywhere in the world) and at least in my state you are not required to attend the divorce court date unless you are the one that filed.

Good luck to you, and again sorry about your situation.

[Penguin_ie 5,986]

The affidavit of support only pertains to means tested government benefits, not to spousal support etc, so you won;t be able to draw money from there.

However, with a good lawyer in place, I see no reason why you couldn;t go back to Germany now?

[rebeccajo 14]

I would suggest you mention to your attorney that he remind her attorney of the affidavit of support filing especially the fact that her parents are also liable. That may very well put an end to her demands.

If it is your intention to return home, you can likely do so while the divorce is in process. Your lawyer should be able to clear that up.

You should surrender your green card to the Service before you go home.

Edited December 7, 2009 by rebeccajo

[*JG* 2]

I guess the question for me is when are you planning on moving back to Germany? I'm thinking are you looking for another job? If so, this may all be moot.

Like others have said, once you sign that you received a copy of the divorce filing and (in Missouri anyhow), if you sign that you will not appear at the hearing, there is no reason why you have to stay in the US.

I wish you luck in all this.

[Mr. Grey 0]

I filed, she countered. That's why I will have to be here, in case there are hearings or the final trial.

[KitEEgirl 0]

Daniel,

Sorry to hear about your situation. I'm sorry, I don't have any advice for you. Good luck.

I filed, she countered. That's why I will have to be here, in case there are hearings or the final trial.

[Michy 0]

Even if your marriage did not work out, most people do affidavit of supports with no intention of it being used.

In my eyes its really messed up on your part to enforce it. If you are so hard up on money, call your family back home and ask them for money. Or since your marriage did not work out, just go back to your country. Why make other people suffer and pay.

[Darnell 8,478]

discovery draws out the divorce process, you betcha.

if you think to stay in usa, get another job and quickly - then I suggest

that you move out of the apartment,

get a room mate situation close to work, pay minimal monies for living, and work.

work 2 jobs, day and night... save your monies...

then when divorce is finalized, either rebuild your life in USA, or go back to home.

If you wanted to go back to home country NOW - then do so, give HER attorney some address on you.

If she's trying to get all she can, then suggest you do NOT SIGN a 'waiver to appear' (or whatever it's called in yer jurisdiction ) as that usually waives all of your rights to contest on prove-up day.

Oh well, that's my 2 jiao - give it a big thought... sure, it's not complete, for your posit, but, those are my thoughts, however malformed.

[Gemmie 142]

Even if your marriage did not work out, most people do affidavit of supports with no intention of it being used.

In my eyes its really messed up on your part to enforce it. If you are so hard up on money, call your family back home and ask them for money. Or since your marriage did not work out, just go back to your country. Why make other people suffer and pay.

You're assuming he can get money from Germany. And he said he needs to be here for the divorce at least because she's countered the filing.

I don't think it's messed up to ensure that the laws are followed. If his wife and in-laws didn't feel comfortable with supporting him even if the marriage were to break-down, they never should have signed the forms. We've all talked about this, and I have a fantastic family who have said that they won't let anything bad happen to me financially, even if our marriage were to end.

Edited December 7, 2009 by Gemmie

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

Mr. Grey,

I'm sorry to hear about the failure of your marriage. Let me share my thoughts on your situation.

First and foremost, I would imagine that you must feel like ####### right now. Your wife moved out, you lost your job, your personal world is tumbling . . . in short, not a situation where it's easy to make the right decisions. Therefore . . . don't do anything dramatic right now. Try to get a clear head.

You mentioned that you want to return to Germany, but don't elaborate on it. You don't have to as it's your personal decision after all, but keep in mind that in a case like yours you could stay and live in the United States, divorced or not. What goes to my head is this: why having done all that, moved to the US, went to the burocratic nightmare, depleted your savings, and then return to the cold Fatherland empty-handed. Why not taking the one positive out of all the negative: you are a lawful permanent resident and eventually can become a US citizen?

Think about it, twice, then sleep on it, and think about it again!

I don't know what State of the Union you are a resident of, but the way I understand it, your wife assumes that you have substantial funds she could tap into. Since that's not the case and you have retained a divorce attorney already, the first thing of action I would do in his case is write a letter to your wife's attorney and lay down a notarized statement of all assets available to you. Basically, outline the rather small extend of the estate in question as a form or reality statement. Once your wife's attorney understands that you won't even be able to pay for his services, their strategy might change.

I'm not sure why your wife would assume you are somewhat wealthy. Had you come to the US and bought a nice home with a pool and gym attached, using cash, bought her a new car, and other goodies, while bragging that life will be good for the two of you, I'd understand. But you are renting an apartment, lost your job, and running out of cash . . . so something is missing in this picture.

You need to move out of your apartment ASAP and into a tiny sh*thole. Once you're out of cash entirely and about to starve to death, you can visit Uncle Sam and ask for help. Then Uncle Sam can, eventually, ask your wife and your in-laws for a reimbursement. That's the entire extend of the affidavit of support thingi.

Hence, it seems to me that the misconception of the martial estate is the main problem here. Clearing this up should be a matter of a week to 10 days by opening the books and the bank accounts.

Best of luck to you.

[justashooter 430]

Oh well, that's my 2 jiao - give it a big thought... sure, it's not complete, for your posit, but, those are my thoughts, however malformed.

that ain't even worth 2 fen, buddy.

[rika60607 215]

If you said the same to the USCIS rep, they'd think you are trying to trick them.

She left me a couple of months ago and filed for divorce.

Sadly, until you were an LPR for 5 years, you are not eligible for any help from the government. No food stamps, nothing. You may be able to get unemployment, depending on how your separation from work place have happened.

Can't your lawyer represent you for divorce hearing in the US? Even if not, you could come back from Germany for a couple of days, just for that. And to speed up the divorce, yes, do open the books to her lawyer. If you got nothing, you got nothing to lose.

PS. You can also withdraw your petition and let her re-file for divorce, if it suits you better.

Edited December 8, 2009 by rika60607

[sachinky 464]

In your OP you said your wife left you and filed for divorce. Then you said you have to remain in the U.S. because YOU filed the divorce. Which one is it?

And as far as the AOS is concerned, that is a contract between the sponsor and the U.S. government. Not between the sponsor and you. If you use public aid the U.S. government can sue the sponsor for recoupment of the same. You can't use that for spousal support since that's not what it was about. Your wife/in-laws didn't promise to you that they'd take care of you, come hail or storm. They promised the U.S. government that the incoming immigrant would not become a burden on the state. See the difference?

Open your books to the other lawyer. Once they see you have nothing, the games will stop and the divorce should be quick. You can then leave for Germany and surrender your card. In the meantime get another job and/or borrow money for food.

[Gracie79 1]

Both of you have to responsibility to pay the rent, also her family members who sign the affidavit.