Married 8 months, wife cheated on me with 3 men

[DerekJ 0]

No. Cheating is not a crime. Period. It is fvcked up, but not a crime.

Actually, in some places it is a crime. It's just rarely prosecuted.

[Nattalia 0]

Dear Master,

(do you really call yourself Master? What do you master or what are you Master of?)

In any case, Master, you omit some really relevant information, so let's sum up what we know, and carefully fill in the blanks, shall we?

1) You live in the US, one of the richest countries in the World, a country where millions of people would like to immigrate to. (German people, for example)

[maybelle 0]

hi Nate! i'm sorry to hear about your troubles. we have the same situation right now the only thing different is i'm the immigranr and my USC husband is having an affair. if you have time read my post here's the link http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...=220524&hl=.

It was really hard especially if you love your spouse so much. A lot of people are telling us we should divorce our spouses but to be honest there is something somehow is holding me back coz i am still hoping we could work it out. But should you do if the love is one-sided only? What I am waiting right now is a miracle that my hubby would someday wake up and love me again. I am only 25 but I have already pictured myself to grow old with him, and it was like I woke up from a beautiful dream realizing that our relationship is really falling apart. Going home & give up my residency here is one of my option but I wanted to fight for my right too. Its the least thing I can do to pick up all the pieces that he broke. I hope you well, pray & have faith. God will take care of our oppressor. I know that he's cheating but I dont have any tangible proof too.

Hey

To make the long story short, my wife an I got married 8 months ago. I find out she has been cheating on me for many months now, with 3 different men.

Now she wants to get a divorce and live separately. She also wants to stay in America.

I feel like she may have used me to get here, because how can someone newly wed cheat on their husband with 3 different men and care about her husband at the same time?!!

I am torn into pieces by all this. I do not want her to be able to come into my life, immigrate fully at MY cost, sleep around with whoever she wants, tear my heart apart, then get a free ticket to America after it all.

I told her I am willing to try to forgive her and give her a second chance, and I told her that 3 weeks ago. At first she didn't know what she wanted, then after being talked to by my family she said she would like a second chance (but I never really felt she meant it, like she's even sorry about what she did).

Now, 3 weeks later, she is telling me she doesn't want to try to work it out because she's not in love with me anymore.

Is it really likely that she can get her free 10 year green card even though she is the one who destroyed this tmarriage? I don't want her to get her 10 year green card if we do not stay together. That is total abuse and is unacceptable. Right now she is a conditional permanent resident who entered on a K1 fiance visa. I heard that the only way to remove the condition is to stay married for 2 years.

Thanks for the help and support.

[Sandrila 1]

speechless....dunno what to say

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

Dear Master,

(do you really call yourself Master? What do you master or what are you Master of?)

In any case, Master, you omit some really relevant information, so let's sum up what we know, and carefully fill in the blanks, shall we?

1) You live in the US, one of the richest countries in the World, a country where millions of people would like to immigrate to.

2) It's a country of 300,000,000 residents, many of whom would be women of the right age group that you potentially could have married.

3) You instead chose to import a woman from a country with extreme high fraud rate. Let me ask you, did you discover your now-and-still-wife on the Internet, or did you actually get to know her in person before marrying her?

4) The woman comes here, you marry her, she takes off and does what she does best, just with other men.

5) You are upset, of course, that's understandable, but are you really surprised?

1) I am confident that she is quite informed about the further plan of action to pursue. She will find a divorce attorney, for whose services YOU will pay. (You said she doesn't work and doesn't want to work, correct?)

2) She will remove conditions on her own, possibly even claiming her "Master" abused her. But even if she doesn't go that far, she'll most likely will be able to get her 10-year Green Card.

3) Since you signed an affidavit of support for her, which USCIS has on file, you'll be paying through the nose for the next decade for your non-working wife. By 2019, however, you'll be free again. Broke perhaps, with more gray hair then Tailor Hicks, but free.

So is there any upside to this? Yes, there is. Believe me, you are not alone. There are quite a few people who married somebody they don't know well enough and then experience a hard landing when reality kicks in. For you it may be a hard lesson to learn, but I'm hopeful you will learn it and won't make such a paramount mistake again. For others, it's a valuable lesson, a repeat one, to be careful and take a marriage step by step, not like a parts order over the Internet.

Wish you the very best for your future, Master.

Bob

Talk about kicking a guy when he's down.

Bob, let me correct you on some assumptions.

1) You live in the US, one of the richest countries in the World, a country where millions of people would like to immigrate to. Perhaps millions wanted to in the 1980-90s when the dollar had some value. The US is now a treat for 3rd world countries, not as prised as you think it is.

2) It's a country of 300,000,000 residents, many of whom would be women of the right age group that you potentially could have married. And Bob you could have done the same, yet you choose a German, what is your point? Even more so, why would you say this, of all places VJ, where EVERYONE has a foreign spouse

3) You instead chose to import a woman from a country with extreme high fraud rate. Let me ask you, did you discover your now-and-still-wife on the Internet, or did you actually get to know her in person before marrying her? Poland does not have an extremely high fraud rate. They do have some people overstaying visa's, but in terms of immigrating here permanently, few are bold enough to cheat USCIS

4) The woman comes here, you marry her, she takes off and does what she does best, just with other men. And this could apply to anyone in the world, Pole, German, USC, what does this have to do with anything?

5) You are upset, of course, that's understandable, but are you really surprised? Yes, I think he's surprised, cause if he knew this was coming, he probably wouldn't have done this visa journey. Again totally irrelevant

The ignorant view that EVERYONE in the world wants to immigrate to the US annoys me. This is not the land of milk and honey anymore.

[confusedguy 0]

im speechless

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

Let me respond to the points you made.

1) You live in the US, one of the richest countries in the World, a country where millions of people would like to immigrate to. Perhaps millions wanted to in the 1980-90s when the dollar had some value. The US is now a treat for 3rd world countries, not as prised as you think it is.

While I agree with you on the demise of the US in many aspects, it still is, as I stated in my previous post, one of the richest countries in the World, and, quite evidently, and even literally, millions of people want to immigrate here.

Hence, that was a perfectly correct statement on my part.

2) It's a country of 300,000,000 residents, many of whom would be women of the right age group that you potentially could have married. And Bob you could have done the same, yet you choose a German, what is your point? Even more so, why would you say this, of all places VJ, where EVERYONE has a foreign spouse

I have nothing, absolutely nothing about foreigners, as I am a foreigner myself! I married a USC in the US, after 4 years of dating, and 1 year of being engaged. By the time I got my GC, I knew my wife for more than half a decade, and we're still happily married today.

My point was, and still is, that there are many good potential spouses in the US, and they come from all kinds of geographical and cultural backgrounds. If one is shopping for a spouse or international food, the US is probably still the land of milk and honey!

3) You instead chose to import a woman from a country with extreme high fraud rate. Let me ask you, did you discover your now-and-still-wife on the Internet, or did you actually get to know her in person before marrying her? Poland does not have an extremely high fraud rate. They do have some people overstaying visa's, but in terms of immigrating here permanently, few are bold enough to cheat USCIS

Poland has among the highest crime rates on planet Earth and many residents are anxious to get the hell out of there. While Nigeria is the world leader in Internet and business fraud, Poland is a god-forsaken place to live, thanks to its rather unfortunate past as concentration camp central. I've been in Poland, have you?

There are certainly many, many honest Polish people in the world, but like you have to be careful when responding to the e-mail from Nigeria telling you that they are ready to send you a few million dollars, one has to be careful, just careful, when doing other kinds of business with countries that are black listed.

Since the OP didn't tell us how he met his wife, I simply assumed that this happened via the Internet. If he married her without knowing her well enough (and he did, hence his problems!), he and only he is responsible for it. Quite relevant in my book.

4) The woman comes here, you marry her, she takes off and does what she does best, just with other men. And this could apply to anyone in the world, Pole, German, USC, what does this have to do with anything?

That was a statement of facts, to make a point. It's not about the nationality of the person at all.

The chance that someone marries a stranger after only a few chats on the Internet is quite small if said partner lives in the US, compared to the situation where the spouse is imported, don't you think?

5) You are upset, of course, that's understandable, but are you really surprised? Yes, I think he's surprised, cause if he knew this was coming, he probably wouldn't have done this visa journey. Again totally irrelevant

If he's surprised (thanks for answering for the OP), Master needs help, indeed.

The ignorant view that EVERYONE in the world wants to immigrate to the US annoys me. This is not the land of milk and honey anymore.

Nobody claimed that EVERYONE in the world wants to immigrate to the US. I sure didn't. It's just several millions out of about 6,700,000,000 (7 billion minus 300 million US residents).

Land of milk and honey? Well, depending from where you come from. If you live in Monaco or Switzerland, you'll laugh your brains out; if you come from a really poor country where you can't feed your children, I think the US still is the promised land.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

[akdiver 3]

To make the long story short, my wife an I got married 8 months ago. I find out she has been cheating on me for many months now, with 3 different men.

Wow - she's a popular gal!

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

Yes, she has it for a few months now.

She may try to file for the marriage being entered in "good faith". What kind of things prove it was in good faith? In my eyes, this was not in good faith AT ALL. She told me that before we got married she wasn't sure if she wanted to marry me.

How could I prove that it was NOT in good faith if it came down to it?

Also, how would getting an annulment affect things vs getting a divorce?

Annulments are hard to get, IF and only IF you can prove she married you only for a green card, then a judge may grant the annulment, a divorce is easier. Im truly sorry, nobody deserves what she has done to you!!!

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

No. Cheating is not a crime. Period. It is fvcked up, but not a crime.

Crime of the heart sister!!!! You got it right, fvcked up!!!

[Angie Y Shane 2]

This is the reason why it's so difficult to petition your wife, husband or spouse her. It's called Visa fraud. You were used for a visa sorry to tell you this but it also happened to my best friend. His own wife beat her self up to get a abuse visa. She was deported because he was ex-FBI and it was very heart breaking. ICe picked her up the next day after the issue.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

No. Cheating is not a crime. Period. It is fvcked up, but not a crime.

Crime of the heart sister!!!! You got it right, fvcked up!!!

Very, very true.

[NArocks 13]

[Nattalia 0]

Let me respond to the points you made.

1) You live in the US, one of the richest countries in the World, a country where millions of people would like to immigrate to. Perhaps millions wanted to in the 1980-90s when the dollar had some value. The US is now a treat for 3rd world countries, not as prised as you think it is.

While I agree with you on the demise of the US in many aspects, it still is, as I stated in my previous post, one of the richest countries in the World, and, quite evidently, and even literally, millions of people want to immigrate here.

Hence, that was a perfectly correct statement on my part.

2) It's a country of 300,000,000 residents, many of whom would be women of the right age group that you potentially could have married. And Bob you could have done the same, yet you choose a German, what is your point? Even more so, why would you say this, of all places VJ, where EVERYONE has a foreign spouse

I have nothing, absolutely nothing about foreigners, as I am a foreigner myself! I married a USC in the US, after 4 years of dating, and 1 year of being engaged. By the time I got my GC, I knew my wife for more than half a decade, and we're still happily married today.

My point was, and still is, that there are many good potential spouses in the US, and they come from all kinds of geographical and cultural backgrounds. If one is shopping for a spouse or international food, the US is probably still the land of milk and honey!

3) You instead chose to import a woman from a country with extreme high fraud rate. Let me ask you, did you discover your now-and-still-wife on the Internet, or did you actually get to know her in person before marrying her? Poland does not have an extremely high fraud rate. They do have some people overstaying visa's, but in terms of immigrating here permanently, few are bold enough to cheat USCIS

Poland has among the highest crime rates on planet Earth and many residents are anxious to get the hell out of there. While Nigeria is the world leader in Internet and business fraud, Poland is a god-forsaken place to live, thanks to its rather unfortunate past as concentration camp central. I've been in Poland, have you?

There are certainly many, many honest Polish people in the world, but like you have to be careful when responding to the e-mail from Nigeria telling you that they are ready to send you a few million dollars, one has to be careful, just careful, when doing other kinds of business with countries that are black listed.

Since the OP didn't tell us how he met his wife, I simply assumed that this happened via the Internet. If he married her without knowing her well enough (and he did, hence his problems!), he and only he is responsible for it. Quite relevant in my book.

4) The woman comes here, you marry her, she takes off and does what she does best, just with other men. And this could apply to anyone in the world, Pole, German, USC, what does this have to do with anything?

That was a statement of facts, to make a point. It's not about the nationality of the person at all.

The chance that someone marries a stranger after only a few chats on the Internet is quite small if said partner lives in the US, compared to the situation where the spouse is imported, don't you think?

5) You are upset, of course, that's understandable, but are you really surprised? Yes, I think he's surprised, cause if he knew this was coming, he probably wouldn't have done this visa journey. Again totally irrelevant

If he's surprised (thanks for answering for the OP), Master needs help, indeed.

The ignorant view that EVERYONE in the world wants to immigrate to the US annoys me. This is not the land of milk and honey anymore.

Nobody claimed that EVERYONE in the world wants to immigrate to the US. I sure didn't. It's just several millions out of about 6,700,000,000 (7 billion minus 300 million US residents).

Land of milk and honey? Well, depending from where you come from. If you live in Monaco or Switzerland, you'll laugh your brains out; if you come from a really poor country where you can't feed your children, I think the US still is the promised land.

Bob,

How old are you?? 15 -16?

You need to know the world better.

By the way, You were out of Status in 1994, Were you an ilegal alien?