Married 8 months, wife cheated on me with 3 men

[MasterNateDawg 1]

Hey

To make the long story short, my wife an I got married 8 months ago. I find out she has been cheating on me for many months now, with 3 different men.

Now she wants to get a divorce and live separately. She also wants to stay in America.

I feel like she may have used me to get here, because how can someone newly wed cheat on their husband with 3 different men and care about her husband at the same time?!!

I am torn into pieces by all this. I do not want her to be able to come into my life, immigrate fully at MY cost, sleep around with whoever she wants, tear my heart apart, then get a free ticket to America after it all.

I told her I am willing to try to forgive her and give her a second chance, and I told her that 3 weeks ago. At first she didn't know what she wanted, then after being talked to by my family she said she would like a second chance (but I never really felt she meant it, like she's even sorry about what she did).

Now, 3 weeks later, she is telling me she doesn't want to try to work it out because she's not in love with me anymore.

Is it really likely that she can get her free 10 year green card even though she is the one who destroyed this tmarriage? I don't want her to get her 10 year green card if we do not stay together. That is total abuse and is unacceptable. Right now she is a conditional permanent resident who entered on a K1 fiance visa. I heard that the only way to remove the condition is to stay married for 2 years.

Thanks for the help and support.

Edited September 30, 2009 by MasterNateDawg

[Dakine 26]

Did she get the 2 year GC already?

[MasterNateDawg 1]

Yes, she has it for a few months now.

She may try to file for the marriage being entered in "good faith". What kind of things prove it was in good faith? In my eyes, this was not in good faith AT ALL. She told me that before we got married she wasn't sure if she wanted to marry me.

How could I prove that it was NOT in good faith if it came down to it?

Also, how would getting an annulment affect things vs getting a divorce?

Edited September 30, 2009 by MasterNateDawg

[BinhJerome 14]

Yes, she has it for a few months now.

She may try to file for the marriage being entered in "good faith". What kind of things prove it was in good faith? In my eyes, this was not in good faith AT ALL. She told me that before we got married she wasn't sure if she wanted to marry me.

How could I prove that it was NOT in good faith if it came down to it?

First thing I would do would be contact USCIS and let them know what is going on. Get proof of the adultery and then send that to them as well.

Jerome

[Chica Yeyé 41]

If you get a divorce and she files to remove conditions on her own, there is nothing you can really do about it - except maybe not provide her with evidence. But, do you really want to get into that mess?

Don't know about the annulment.

[MasterNateDawg 1]

Yes, she has it for a few months now.

She may try to file for the marriage being entered in "good faith". What kind of things prove it was in good faith? In my eyes, this was not in good faith AT ALL. She told me that before we got married she wasn't sure if she wanted to marry me.

How could I prove that it was NOT in good faith if it came down to it?

First thing I would do would be contact USCIS and let them know what is going on. Get proof of the adultery and then send that to them as well.

Jerome

How can I prove the adultery? She already deleted all email records of the conversations she had - and she has stopped communication with them all at this point. What can I gather to prove it in the eyes of the USCIS? Audio or video recording of her admitting it? What about getting her to sign a notarized letter admitting everything?

Also, what happens if I contact the USCIS and tell them about it all with proof, and then somehow we do manage to work things out and stay together - does she have no chance of staying then?

Edited September 30, 2009 by MasterNateDawg

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Be very careful with recording. States have pretty strict laws about recording someone without their permission.

In all honesty, first figure out whether you will get divorced or not, before jumping the gun and jeopardizing everything.

[Tygrys 143]

Hey

To make the long story short, my wife an I got married 8 months ago. I find out she has been cheating on me for many months now, with 3 different men.

Now she wants to get a divorce and live separately. She also wants to stay in America.

I feel like she may have used me to get here, because how can someone newly wed cheat on their husband with 3 different men and care about her husband at the same time?!!

I am torn into pieces by all this. I do not want her to be able to come into my life, immigrate fully at MY cost, sleep around with whoever she wants, tear my heart apart, then get a free ticket to America after it all.

I told her I am willing to try to forgive her and give her a second chance, and I told her that 3 weeks ago. At first she didn't know what she wanted, then after being talked to by my family she said she would like a second chance (but I never really felt she meant it, like she's even sorry about what she did).

Now, 3 weeks later, she is telling me she doesn't want to try to work it out because she's not in love with me anymore.

Is it really likely that she can get her free 10 year green card even though she is the one who destroyed this tmarriage? I don't want her to get her 10 year green card if we do not stay together. That is total abuse and is unacceptable. Right now she is a conditional permanent resident who entered on a K1 fiance visa. I heard that the only way to remove the condition is to stay married for 2 years.

Thanks for the help and support.

I would report her to USCIS/ICE that apparently she's used you just to gain her entrance into the US. What they do/don't do about it yuo never know. By my book, you should just divorce the b**ch (don't think you will get an annulment, but this depends on your state of residence - contact a family law attorney) and go on with your life. She will be able to file for a permanent GC after your divorce, but the burden of proving that the marriage was entered into in good faith will be on her.

[TexPol 1]

I'm just speechless.. sorry to hear about what you are going through.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

She can remove conditions and get an unconditional green card without your cooperation if you get divorced. USCIS won't grant the waiver until the divorce is final, but she can still file and request the waiver while the divorce is pending. She'll just get an RFE for the divorce decree once USCIS gets around to adjudicating the petition. You will not be involved in the process, nor have any opportunity to present any evidence to USCIS.

Annulment would be no different from divorce. The basis for what is commonly called the "good faith" waiver are either divorce or annulment. Annulment is also difficult to get in some states.

USCIS honestly doesn't care why your marriage is breaking up. Even if you had loads of evidence that she was sleeping with every guy in town, it wouldn't affect her ability to remove conditions based on a divorce. Depending on what state you live in, the family courts may not care either. What USCIS WOULD care about is if you have any evidence of immigration fraud, or if she's committed a crime that she could be deported for. Your suspicions that she played you for a green card wouldn't be enough, though. You'd need hard proof, like her admitting that she only agreed to marry you in order to immigrate to the US. Adultery is not hard proof of immigration fraud.

[3600rs 24]

She can remove conditions and get an unconditional green card without your cooperation if you get divorced. USCIS won't grant the waiver until the divorce is final, but she can still file and request the waiver while the divorce is pending. She'll just get an RFE for the divorce decree once USCIS gets around to adjudicating the petition. You will not be involved in the process, nor have any opportunity to present any evidence to USCIS.

Annulment would be no different from divorce. The basis for what is commonly called the "good faith" waiver are either divorce or annulment. Annulment is also difficult to get in some states.

USCIS honestly doesn't care why your marriage is breaking up. Even if you had loads of evidence that she was sleeping with every guy in town, it wouldn't affect her ability to remove conditions based on a divorce. Depending on what state you live in, the family courts may not care either. What USCIS WOULD care about is if you have any evidence of immigration fraud, or if she's committed a crime that she could be deported for. Your suspicions that she played you for a green card wouldn't be enough, though. You'd need hard proof, like her admitting that she only agreed to marry you in order to immigrate to the US. Adultery is not hard proof of immigration fraud.

Yes I agree. Cheating with countless men does not imply she got married for the green card. Your marriage turned sour for reasons best known to you. Eventually she feel out of love and she has full liberty to satisfy her personal needs. Now this does not constitute Green Card fraud.

[TBoneTX 43,195]

I can't add answers to your questions, but I want to offer sincere sympathy for your torment, si man. Follow your head, your heart, your gut, and advice from trusted others (including lawyers) as you face the road ahead.

[George&Hazel 1]

Hey

To make the long story short, my wife an I got married 8 months ago. I find out she has been cheating on me for many months now, with 3 different men.

Now she wants to get a divorce and live separately. She also wants to stay in America.

I feel like she may have used me to get here, because how can someone newly wed cheat on their husband with 3 different men and care about her husband at the same time?!!

I am torn into pieces by all this. I do not want her to be able to come into my life, immigrate fully at MY cost, sleep around with whoever she wants, tear my heart apart, then get a free ticket to America after it all.

I told her I am willing to try to forgive her and give her a second chance, and I told her that 3 weeks ago. At first she didn't know what she wanted, then after being talked to by my family she said she would like a second chance (but I never really felt she meant it, like she's even sorry about what she did).

Now, 3 weeks later, she is telling me she doesn't want to try to work it out because she's not in love with me anymore.

Is it really likely that she can get her free 10 year green card even though she is the one who destroyed this tmarriage? I don't want her to get her 10 year green card if we do not stay together. That is total abuse and is unacceptable. Right now she is a conditional permanent resident who entered on a K1 fiance visa. I heard that the only way to remove the condition is to stay married for 2 years.

Thanks for the help and support.

Wow speechless. I would contact a lawyer and see what the options are. A web forum is no replacement for sound legal advice.

[D&R 0]

Hey

To make the long story short, my wife an I got married 8 months ago. I find out she has been cheating on me for many months now, with 3 different men.

Now she wants to get a divorce and live separately. She also wants to stay in America.

I feel like she may have used me to get here, because how can someone newly wed cheat on their husband with 3 different men and care about her husband at the same time?!!

I am torn into pieces by all this. I do not want her to be able to come into my life, immigrate fully at MY cost, sleep around with whoever she wants, tear my heart apart, then get a free ticket to America after it all.

I told her I am willing to try to forgive her and give her a second chance, and I told her that 3 weeks ago. At first she didn't know what she wanted, then after being talked to by my family she said she would like a second chance (but I never really felt she meant it, like she's even sorry about what she did).

Now, 3 weeks later, she is telling me she doesn't want to try to work it out because she's not in love with me anymore.

Is it really likely that she can get her free 10 year green card even though she is the one who destroyed this tmarriage? I don't want her to get her 10 year green card if we do not stay together. That is total abuse and is unacceptable. Right now she is a conditional permanent resident who entered on a K1 fiance visa. I heard that the only way to remove the condition is to stay married for 2 years.

Thanks for the help and support.

A 'second' change? Surely she's on her third already. A one-off, drunk, stupid, crazy moment can be forgiven... but 3 in 8 months... Wow! You're just asking for trouble. Get rid and move on. As for her staying in the US... try not to think of it, put yourself first and just get her out of your life. Move onwards and upwards!

[kaus&Sanu 0]

Hey

To make the long story short, my wife an I got married 8 months ago. I find out she has been cheating on me for many months now, with 3 different men.

Now she wants to get a divorce and live separately. She also wants to stay in America.

I feel like she may have used me to get here, because how can someone newly wed cheat on their husband with 3 different men and care about her husband at the same time?!!

I am torn into pieces by all this. I do not want her to be able to come into my life, immigrate fully at MY cost, sleep around with whoever she wants, tear my heart apart, then get a free ticket to America after it all.

I told her I am willing to try to forgive her and give her a second chance, and I told her that 3 weeks ago. At first she didn't know what she wanted, then after being talked to by my family she said she would like a second chance (but I never really felt she meant it, like she's even sorry about what she did).

Now, 3 weeks later, she is telling me she doesn't want to try to work it out because she's not in love with me anymore.

Is it really likely that she can get her free 10 year green card even though she is the one who destroyed this tmarriage? I don't want her to get her 10 year green card if we do not stay together. That is total abuse and is unacceptable. Right now she is a conditional permanent resident who entered on a K1 fiance visa. I heard that the only way to remove the condition is to stay married for 2 years.

Thanks for the help and support.

A 'second' change? Surely she's on her third already. A one-off, drunk, stupid, crazy moment can be forgiven... but 3 in 8 months... Wow! You're just asking for trouble. Get rid and move on. As for her staying in the US... try not to think of it, put yourself first and just get her out of your life. Move onwards and upwards!

First time.. shame on her... second time... shame on you. As someone already stated i dont know if she did it for the GC. Personally, having been through a similar ####### relationship in the past (only difference was there was no GC involved).. I would recommend dropping the relationship and moving on. Get yourself a good lawyer, and let her go on her own. That really sucks and I'm sorry to hear that and feel for you. However, I would concentrate on covering your butt getting a lawyer collecting evidence etc. I've been through the exact same thing minus the immigration portion of it.