Married 8 months, wife cheated on me with 3 men

[Rings 10]

Remove the evidence that you had a legitimate marriage, destroy everything that links both of you together, take her name off everything you share, lease, bills, etc... share nothing and remove anything that links you two as a legitimate couple. File divorce and move on. She will have to adjust status and she cannot pass AOS without evidence on paper saying that you two were merging your lives together.. she can't prove that then she can't be approved...simple fix... give me something harder.

[Rings 10]

Note: She can however claim abuse, so get rid of her and don't talk to her and don't let her near you or else she may kick the ####### out of herself and call the cops on you in order to obtain paperwork saying you abused her...crappy but people do it so I would stay away froom her.

[Old Dominion 26]

The OP knows what to do, he's just unsure of wanting to move ahead. Waiting will only cause him more grief, and so will hoping for any revenge. Maybe it's his family that is keeping him from acting quickly.

[Rings 10]

The longer you wait the more time you give your spouse who you suspect for fraud to gather things to use to adust her status. Just my opinion, he will make up his own mind on what he should do.

[Mimino 2]

op did say she told him she was unsure if she wants to marry him... why did he follow through?

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

Let me respond to the points you made.

1) You live in the US, one of the richest countries in the World, a country where millions of people would like to immigrate to. Perhaps millions wanted to in the 1980-90s when the dollar had some value. The US is now a treat for 3rd world countries, not as prised as you think it is.

While I agree with you on the demise of the US in many aspects, it still is, as I stated in my previous post, one of the richest countries in the World, and, quite evidently, and even literally, millions of people want to immigrate here.

Hence, that was a perfectly correct statement on my part.

2) It's a country of 300,000,000 residents, many of whom would be women of the right age group that you potentially could have married. And Bob you could have done the same, yet you choose a German, what is your point? Even more so, why would you say this, of all places VJ, where EVERYONE has a foreign spouse

I have nothing, absolutely nothing about foreigners, as I am a foreigner myself! I married a USC in the US, after 4 years of dating, and 1 year of being engaged. By the time I got my GC, I knew my wife for more than half a decade, and we're still happily married today.

My point was, and still is, that there are many good potential spouses in the US, and they come from all kinds of geographical and cultural backgrounds. If one is shopping for a spouse or international food, the US is probably still the land of milk and honey!

3) You instead chose to import a woman from a country with extreme high fraud rate. Let me ask you, did you discover your now-and-still-wife on the Internet, or did you actually get to know her in person before marrying her? Poland does not have an extremely high fraud rate. They do have some people overstaying visa's, but in terms of immigrating here permanently, few are bold enough to cheat USCIS

Poland has among the highest crime rates on planet Earth and many residents are anxious to get the hell out of there. While Nigeria is the world leader in Internet and business fraud, Poland is a god-forsaken place to live, thanks to its rather unfortunate past as concentration camp central. I've been in Poland, have you?

There are certainly many, many honest Polish people in the world, but like you have to be careful when responding to the e-mail from Nigeria telling you that they are ready to send you a few million dollars, one has to be careful, just careful, when doing other kinds of business with countries that are black listed.

Since the OP didn't tell us how he met his wife, I simply assumed that this happened via the Internet. If he married her without knowing her well enough (and he did, hence his problems!), he and only he is responsible for it. Quite relevant in my book.

4) The woman comes here, you marry her, she takes off and does what she does best, just with other men. And this could apply to anyone in the world, Pole, German, USC, what does this have to do with anything?

That was a statement of facts, to make a point. It's not about the nationality of the person at all.

The chance that someone marries a stranger after only a few chats on the Internet is quite small if said partner lives in the US, compared to the situation where the spouse is imported, don't you think?

5) You are upset, of course, that's understandable, but are you really surprised? Yes, I think he's surprised, cause if he knew this was coming, he probably wouldn't have done this visa journey. Again totally irrelevant

If he's surprised (thanks for answering for the OP), Master needs help, indeed.

The ignorant view that EVERYONE in the world wants to immigrate to the US annoys me. This is not the land of milk and honey anymore.

Nobody claimed that EVERYONE in the world wants to immigrate to the US. I sure didn't. It's just several millions out of about 6,700,000,000 (7 billion minus 300 million US residents).

Land of milk and honey? Well, depending from where you come from. If you live in Monaco or Switzerland, you'll laugh your brains out; if you come from a really poor country where you can't feed your children, I think the US still is the promised land.

Bob, I can't argue with you if you keep making up stuff. You are comparing Poland to Nigeria? Get a life! I think its easier to compare Germany to Iraq.

Concentration camps in Poland make it a bad place, its the GERMANS who put them there; and how many camps did your Nazi's have in your homeland?? Maybe you need to take those blinders off. Poland is certainly not the country you paint it out be. You must only know it from WWII movies. If you've been in Poland, I dont know what hole in the ground you were near, but I've lived in Poland and certainly prefer it over the milk & honey US you paint. Is now a time to remind you that US is in a sucky recession and Poland is not?

Poles dont view the US like they did 20yrs ago, you are stuck in the communist times, I can't help you with that.

Maybe MasterNateDawg can come and chime in on Bob's view that he sat on the net to get a girl he didn't know and its his own fault.

Cheating is not a foreigner type of thing, it happens to those who know each other 2 months, and those for 20yrs.

[Rings 10]

No need to argue about the countires and who wants to be where. This does nothing to help the OP to resolution and your arguments are becoming tiresome to read. Some people are really here to just help people and fighting over who wants to be an American and if it's "milk & honey" does nothing to help this poster to resolution. In all do respect, let's just try to help this person here please.

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

Please pass the popcorn NArocks, I missed alot in this thread.

[NutMagnet 2]

Hey

To make the long story short, my wife an I got married 8 months ago. I find out she has been cheating on me for many months now, with 3 different men.

Now she wants to get a divorce and live separately. She also wants to stay in America.

I feel like she may have used me to get here, because how can someone newly wed cheat on their husband with 3 different men and care about her husband at the same time?!!

I am torn into pieces by all this. I do not want her to be able to come into my life, immigrate fully at MY cost, sleep around with whoever she wants, tear my heart apart, then get a free ticket to America after it all.

I told her I am willing to try to forgive her and give her a second chance, and I told her that 3 weeks ago. At first she didn't know what she wanted, then after being talked to by my family she said she would like a second chance (but I never really felt she meant it, like she's even sorry about what she did).

Now, 3 weeks later, she is telling me she doesn't want to try to work it out because she's not in love with me anymore.

Is it really likely that she can get her free 10 year green card even though she is the one who destroyed this tmarriage? I don't want her to get her 10 year green card if we do not stay together. That is total abuse and is unacceptable. Right now she is a conditional permanent resident who entered on a K1 fiance visa. I heard that the only way to remove the condition is to stay married for 2 years.

Thanks for the help and support.

Good thing you found out in just 8 months time. Consult an attorney who practices in both family and immigration law. File for divorce, send USCIS a notarized letter w/delivery confirmation that you withdraw and disavow your obligation to act as sponsor on I-864 and other Affidavits of Support you have filed on her behalf. Be sure to include her A#. Cancel all joint accounts and anything of yours that she may gain access to, change all of your passwords, back up all photos & documents on your computer(s) twice to CD and then delete them, round up every single living piece of paper from your immigration process - marriage - joint cohabitation and give them to a trusted friend or your lawyer to hold on to.

Bone up on your state's laws regarding divorce, google and research all concerns, learn your options. Document EVERYTHING.

It is possible that she can remove her conditional status by herself, look up the instructions for USCIS Form I-751. However, by you withdrawing and disavowing your support, it kills the I-485 application that was filed to get her conditional green card. Your attorney can best advise your strategy in getting her out of your house. You need to be very careful that she doesn't drum up allegations of abuse. Still, the BCIS can not bind you to an affidavit of support that you withdraw and disavow during the 2 year conditional period, property division of some sort will likely be granted by the family court in lieu of alimony.

Good Luck,

NM

Edited October 2, 2009 by NutMagnet

[3600rs 24]

Hey

To make the long story short, my wife an I got married 8 months ago. I find out she has been cheating on me for many months now, with 3 different men.

Now she wants to get a divorce and live separately. She also wants to stay in America.

I feel like she may have used me to get here, because how can someone newly wed cheat on their husband with 3 different men and care about her husband at the same time?!!

I am torn into pieces by all this. I do not want her to be able to come into my life, immigrate fully at MY cost, sleep around with whoever she wants, tear my heart apart, then get a free ticket to America after it all.

I told her I am willing to try to forgive her and give her a second chance, and I told her that 3 weeks ago. At first she didn't know what she wanted, then after being talked to by my family she said she would like a second chance (but I never really felt she meant it, like she's even sorry about what she did).

Now, 3 weeks later, she is telling me she doesn't want to try to work it out because she's not in love with me anymore.

Is it really likely that she can get her free 10 year green card even though she is the one who destroyed this tmarriage? I don't want her to get her 10 year green card if we do not stay together. That is total abuse and is unacceptable. Right now she is a conditional permanent resident who entered on a K1 fiance visa. I heard that the only way to remove the condition is to stay married for 2 years.

Thanks for the help and support.

Good thing you found out in just 8 months time. Consult an attorney who practices in both family and immigration law. File for divorce, send USCIS a notarized letter w/delivery confirmation that you withdraw and disavow your obligation to act as sponsor on I-864 and other Affidavits of Support you have filed on her behalf. Be sure to include her A#. Cancel all joint accounts and anything of yours that she may gain access to, change all of your passwords, back up all photos & documents on your computer(s) twice to CD and then delete them, round up every single living piece of paper from your immigration process - marriage - joint cohabitation and give them to a trusted friend or your lawyer to hold on to.

Bone up on your state's laws regarding divorce, google and research all concerns, learn your options. Document EVERYTHING.

It is possible that she can remove her conditional status by herself, look up the instructions for USCIS Form I-751. However, by you withdrawing and disavowing your support, it kills the I-485 application that was filed to get her conditional green card. Your attorney can best advise your strategy in getting her out of your house. You need to be very careful that she doesn't drum up allegations of abuse. Still, the BCIS can not bind you to an affidavit of support that you withdraw and disavow during the 2 year conditional period, property division of some sort will likely be granted by the family court in lieu of alimony.

Good Luck,

NM

Nothing can kill an already approved 485, she is a conditional resident already. OP can write for a withdrawal but it cannot be revoked. Notarized letters, delivery stamps will not disavow his sponsorship. The burden of proof to deny her application and eventually remove her is on the USCIS, she needs a little proof of good faith marriage for an approval. The government understands not a lot can be collected with just 8 months of marriage. Without proof this will not stand in the courts, it will be just a matter of hearsay or an unconfirmed word of mouth mud slinging. op. u need high quality evidence to remove her out.

Edited October 2, 2009 by 3600rs

[bhajishah 4]

maybe shee didnt have sex with them. ...maybee she just needed help with changing a light bulb, and called them over for assist

[NutMagnet 2]

Nothing can kill an already approved 485, she is a conditional resident already. OP can write for a withdrawal but it cannot be revoked. Notarized letters, delivery stamps will not disavow his sponsorship. The burden of proof to deny her application and eventually remove her is on the USCIS, she needs a little proof of good faith marriage for an approval. The government understands not a lot can be collected with just 8 months of marriage. Without proof this will not stand in the courts, it will be just a matter of hearsay or an unconfirmed word of mouth mud slinging. op. u need high quality evidence to remove her out.

The I-485 is the Application to Register Permanent Residence and Adjust Status. The corresponding documents include the I-864 Affidavit of Support and G-325a bio data forms. The I-485 does not become approved until AOS.

The I-864 becomes valid when signed, however it is not enforceable until the point in which the 10 year permanent green card is issued for Permanent Residence. The I-134 Affidavit of Support is designed to cover the alien until that point, however the I-134 is utterly unenforceable.

With the I-864 being withdrawn and disavowed by the sponsor as detailed under the CFR (8CFR213a.2), there is problem at AOS time. The AOS package is no longer complete for adjudication due to the lack of sponsorship. The I-864 is a companion document to the I-485. Permanent Residence can not be granted without sponsorship guaranteeing that the alien will not become a public charge. AOS application denied - application killed due to withdrawal of sponsorship. K1's can only adjust status through their Petitioner.

If the parties were married abroad and the alien spouse arrives in the USA with Conditional Residence status, a written cancellation of the I-130 petition prior to AOS will cancel the entire process, as there is no longer an active petition.

Sec. 213a.2 Use of affidavit of support.

Withdrawal of Form I-864 or Form I-864A. (1) In an immigrant

visa case, once the sponsor, substitute sponsor, joint sponsor,

household member, or intending immigrant has presented a signed Form I-

864 or Form I-864A to a Department of State officer, the sponsor,

substitute sponsor, joint sponsor, or household member may disavow his

or her agreement to act as sponsor, substitute sponsor, joint sponsor,

or household member if he or she does so in writing and submits the

document to the Department of State officer before the actual issuance

of an immigrant visa to the intending immigrant. Once the intending

immigrant has obtained an immigrant visa, a sponsor, substitute sponsor,

joint sponsor, or household member cannot disavow his or her agreement

to act as a sponsor, joint sponsor, or household member unless the

person or entity who filed the visa petition withdraws the visa petition

in writing, as specified in 8 CFR 205.1(a)(3)(i)(A) or 8 CFR

205.1(a)(3)(iii)©, and also notifies the Department of State officer

who issued the visa of the withdrawal of the petition.

(2) In an adjustment of status case, once the sponsor, substitute

sponsor, joint sponsor, household member, or intending immigrant has

presented a signed Form I-864 or Form I-864A to an immigration officer

or immigration judge, the sponsor, substitute sponsor, joint sponsor, or

household member may disavow his or her agreement to act as sponsor,

substitute sponsor, joint sponsor, or household member only if he or she

does so in writing and submits the document to the immigration officer

or immigration judge before the decision on the adjustment application.

In other words, send it to the local USCIS field office and service center where you mailed your application documents, it will be placed in her A# file. Notarized withdrawal letter and affidavit of mailing with delivery confirmation will serve as your receipts of submission.

NM

[Jamaican JNR 2]

Hey

To make the long story short, my wife an I got married 8 months ago. I find out she has been cheating on me for many months now, with 3 different men.

Now she wants to get a divorce and live separately. She also wants to stay in America.

I feel like she may have used me to get here, because how can someone newly wed cheat on their husband with 3 different men and care about her husband at the same time?!!

I am torn into pieces by all this. I do not want her to be able to come into my life, immigrate fully at MY cost, sleep around with whoever she wants, tear my heart apart, then get a free ticket to America after it all.

I told her I am willing to try to forgive her and give her a second chance, and I told her that 3 weeks ago. At first she didn't know what she wanted, then after being talked to by my family she said she would like a second chance (but I never really felt she meant it, like she's even sorry about what she did).

Now, 3 weeks later, she is telling me she doesn't want to try to work it out because she's not in love with me anymore.

Is it really likely that she can get her free 10 year green card even though she is the one who destroyed this tmarriage? I don't want her to get her 10 year green card if we do not stay together. That is total abuse and is unacceptable. Right now she is a conditional permanent resident who entered on a K1 fiance visa. I heard that the only way to remove the condition is to stay married for 2 years.

Thanks for the help and support.

Sorry to hear about your situation with your wife. She is a conditional resident and she will say that the marriage was entered into with good faith. Once divorced, she can file to remove conditions on her own. I know you felt she used you to get into the US, but the reality is that sometimes you can not tell wolf in sheep clothing. Just forget her, move on with your life and maybe Mrs. Right will come your way in the near future.

[Ban Hammer 12,857]

maybe shee didnt have sex with them. ...maybee she just needed help with changing a light bulb, and called them over for assist

women don't change light bulbs, they just sit in the dark and complain.

[3600rs 24]

Nothing can kill an already approved 485, she is a conditional resident already. OP can write for a withdrawal but it cannot be revoked. Notarized letters, delivery stamps will not disavow his sponsorship. The burden of proof to deny her application and eventually remove her is on the USCIS, she needs a little proof of good faith marriage for an approval. The government understands not a lot can be collected with just 8 months of marriage. Without proof this will not stand in the courts, it will be just a matter of hearsay or an unconfirmed word of mouth mud slinging. op. u need high quality evidence to remove her out.

The I-485 is the Application to Register Permanent Residence and Adjust Status. The corresponding documents include the I-864 Affidavit of Support and G-325a bio data forms. The I-485 does not become approved until AOS.

The I-864 becomes valid when signed, however it is not enforceable until the point in which the 10 year permanent green card is issued for Permanent Residence. The I-134 Affidavit of Support is designed to cover the alien until that point, however the I-134 is utterly unenforceable.

With the I-864 being withdrawn and disavowed by the sponsor as detailed under the CFR (8CFR213a.2), there is problem at AOS time. The AOS package is no longer complete for adjudication due to the lack of sponsorship. The I-864 is a companion document to the I-485. Permanent Residence can not be granted without sponsorship guaranteeing that the alien will not become a public charge. AOS application denied - application killed due to withdrawal of sponsorship. K1's can only adjust status through their Petitioner.

If the parties were married abroad and the alien spouse arrives in the USA with Conditional Residence status, a written cancellation of the I-130 petition prior to AOS will cancel the entire process, as there is no longer an active petition.

Sec. 213a.2 Use of affidavit of support.

Withdrawal of Form I-864 or Form I-864A. (1) In an immigrant

visa case, once the sponsor, substitute sponsor, joint sponsor,

household member, or intending immigrant has presented a signed Form I-

864 or Form I-864A to a Department of State officer, the sponsor,

substitute sponsor, joint sponsor, or household member may disavow his

or her agreement to act as sponsor, substitute sponsor, joint sponsor,

or household member if he or she does so in writing and submits the

document to the Department of State officer before the actual issuance

of an immigrant visa to the intending immigrant. Once the intending

immigrant has obtained an immigrant visa, a sponsor, substitute sponsor,

joint sponsor, or household member cannot disavow his or her agreement

to act as a sponsor, joint sponsor, or household member unless the

person or entity who filed the visa petition withdraws the visa petition

in writing, as specified in 8 CFR 205.1(a)(3)(i)(A) or 8 CFR

205.1(a)(3)(iii)©, and also notifies the Department of State officer

who issued the visa of the withdrawal of the petition.

(2) In an adjustment of status case, once the sponsor, substitute

sponsor, joint sponsor, household member, or intending immigrant has

presented a signed Form I-864 or Form I-864A to an immigration officer

or immigration judge, the sponsor, substitute sponsor, joint sponsor, or

household member may disavow his or her agreement to act as sponsor,

substitute sponsor, joint sponsor, or household member only if he or she

does so in writing and submits the document to the immigration officer

or immigration judge before the decision on the adjustment application.

In other words, send it to the local USCIS field office and service center where you mailed your application documents, it will be placed in her A# file. Notarized withdrawal letter and affidavit of mailing with delivery confirmation will serve as your receipts of submission.

NM

Im I missing something here? please explain, or maybe I don't understand it correctly. The OP stated that the AOS is approved and conditional green card approved. So, that said, the above support cannot be withdrawn at this stage right? She has the conditional green card already, there is nothing to withdraw. All she needs is good faith evidence and a divorce decree to get the 10 year card.

Correct me if I am wrong?