K1 Filipina abandoned in U.S. Any advice welcomed!

[sjr09 155]

sjr09, why are you so defensive?

(this is just getting funny)

"BTW, I have noticed some Filipinos on VJ tend to be very defensive about any post towards another Filipinos. I suspect sjr09 is one of those types"

See you make up your statements based on stupidity I'm not Filipino your just a typical stereotype person or maybe raciest. I don't think your going to do well with this post! And you ask why I'm so defensive.

Edited July 7, 2009 by sjr09

[Chica Yeyé 41]

sjr09, why are you so defensive?

(this is just getting funny)

"BTW, I have noticed some Filipinos on VJ tend to be very defensive about any post towards another Filipinos. I suspect sjr09 is one of those types"

See you make up your statements based on stupidity I'm not Filipino your just a typical stereotype person or maybe raciest. I don't think your going to do well with this post! And you ask why I'm so defensive.

What??? Try some grammar and spelling lessons.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Let's keep this post on topic. If you have no useful advice for the OP then refrain from posting. Making racial comments is inappropriate and has no place in this thread.

[luckymom 0]

The last time I read from the OP was yesterday at 8:41 P.M. I wonder where he is now.

Edited July 8, 2009 by luckymom

[ziia 9]

I would like to hear some comments on:

1. What will happen if the petitioner doesn't come back and she tries to stay here. Also what consequences could the in-laws face by allowing her to live there.

2. What are her options for returning home. Will the US government pay her way back (and who would pay for the child who holds a US passport)? Can she get some kind of aid from the PI consulate here?

Thanks in advance for any advice. She faces a very sad situation and we are trying to support her emotionally as best we can.

1. If she tryes to stay here she would be an illegal. There are no in-laws in the picture, they are not married, are they? It would be like some strangers offering a room for rent to a stranger. Even the regular police doesn't have the right to ask her about her status and neighter many other private persons who rent part of their living space know the immigration status of the people they rent rooms to. They can look at the problem this way and not as beeing RELATED to eachother because they are not mother-inlaw-daughter inlaw. The kid is related to them, but he's USC. The consequences would be on her, the Pi if she gets caught by immigration staying here illegaly and possibly deported.

2. The US Goverments money come in most part from the tax payer. It is not the big daddy's responsabilty to spend my money, your money and others to fix the irresponsabilities of all the parties involved. She can ask help from Pi's Consulate.

I don't understand why people tend to portray anyone as victim here. What victim are you guys talking about? The kid is too yung to be affected by this eighter than taking a trip to US which he/she's not even gonna remember years down the road...what vistim? Cuz he was boarded on the plane for a trip? The father's story we don't even know...what is he's dead or something happened to him? Everybody jumps to the conclusion he just ran away into thin air leaving everything behind...cellphone and all. If he was a cryminal, USCIS does a background check on the USC too before allowing his fiancee into the country. If he didn't want her anymore, he could have simply stayd and said..."I don't want you anymore". This whole episode is cartoonish...too many conclusions.We dont know what happened to that guy. He's not a victim eighter. His parents and the girl are also NOT victims. One, if she felt he didn't want her to come to US they should have had a serious TALK beforehand. Plus, who buys a one way ticket when a two way ticket is a few "cents" more. If those extra cents were killing his parent's pocket, then they should not have bought it in the first place. Coming here doesn't guarantee things will go as planned. I don't think anyone's worthy of pitty here. We don't know the full story, all the parties involved, so as far as i'm concerned they've all been irresponsible with planning their near(uncertain) future. If all way rosy and no one suspected she'd be left here alone, then i can only think that something realy bad happened to that guy. If there were flags, uncertainties floating in the air, then mother and parents should have bought a two way ticket to avoid this whole drama.

If you ask me, if the Consulate of her country doesn't help, she can ask the poster's help for money or the woman's cousin. People can borrow her since she's almost like family, right?

Sorry if i've been harsh. This victimization and lack of responsability on the part of the whole family makes me want to give some tough love and say: Sometimes you have to live with the consequences of not thinking ahead and securing your back for any "just in case" situation. It bugged me the phrase about the US Goverment's help...YES, the US Goverment should help the KID get the care and help he needs. he mother should ask the parents who bought her the ticket and directly made themselves responsable for her, to sell, refinance, borrow from other to send her back so she's not stuck here as an illegal. This woman is solely the guy's parents responsability!

[rheanick 42]

My wife's cousin from the Philippines finally made it to the U.S. 4 weeks ago on her K1 visa with her son (biological son of the petitioner) and is in quite a dilemma. Long story short, the U.S. petitioner has run away. He left his cell phone and belongings and drove off in the night, no one knows where he is or how to contact him. He has been gone over 3 weeks now. The Filipina and child are living with his parents but what will happen next is anyone's guess. We have a strong feeling that he will not return before the 90 days is up and have been wondering what's the best advice we can give to her if that occurs. The in laws have said that they don't have the money to send her back home if he doesn't marry her. I assume at some point the government will come looking for her if she were to try and stay past the deadline.

My advice to her already has been to not go TNT and try to dodge the government, but instead contact the embassy here and let them know the situation (once it's close to the 90 day mark) so that she won't have any bad marks against her should she ever find another U.S. petitioner in the future.

I would like to hear some comments on:

1. What will happen if the petitioner doesn't come back and she tries to stay here. Also what consequences could the in-laws face by allowing her to live there. - the filipina would be is out of status beyond 90 days from date of arrival. She will be deported if caught.

2. What are her options for returning home. Will the US government pay her way back (and who would pay for the child who holds a US passport)? Can she get some kind of aid from the PI consulate here? - Dont expect that the US government or PI consulate would pay her and her child's plane ticket. She should find money to buy ticket. Ask from friends or relatives.

Her kid could petition her later. BTW, If she still has the notes from her CFO seminar, it contains data for cases like her. It has the information where to ask help

Thanks in advance for any advice. She faces a very sad situation and we are trying to support her emotionally as best we can.

Edited July 8, 2009 by rheanick

[sjr09 155]

My wife's cousin from the Philippines finally made it to the U.S. 4 weeks ago on her K1 visa with her son (biological son of the petitioner) and is in quite a dilemma. Long story short, the U.S. petitioner has run away. He left his cell phone and belongings and drove off in the night, no one knows where he is or how to contact him. He has been gone over 3 weeks now. The Filipina and child are living with his parents but what will happen next is anyone's guess. We have a strong feeling that he will not return before the 90 days is up and have been wondering what's the best advice we can give to her if that occurs. The in laws have said that they don't have the money to send her back home if he doesn't marry her. I assume at some point the government will come looking for her if she were to try and stay past the deadline.

My advice to her already has been to not go TNT and try to dodge the government, but instead contact the embassy here and let them know the situation (once it's close to the 90 day mark) so that she won't have any bad marks against her should she ever find another U.S. petitioner in the future.

I would like to hear some comments on:

1. What will happen if the petitioner doesn't come back and she tries to stay here. Also what consequences could the in-laws face by allowing her to live there. - the filipina would be is out of status beyond 90 days from date of arrival. She will be deported if caught.

2. What are her options for returning home. Will the US government pay her way back (and who would pay for the child who holds a US passport)? Can she get some kind of aid from the PI consulate here? - Dont expect that the US government or PI consulate would pay her and her child's plane ticket. She should find money to buy ticket. Ask from friends or relatives.

Her kid could petition her later. BTW, If she still has the notes from her CFO seminar, it contains data for cases like her. It has the information where to ask help

Thanks in advance for any advice. She faces a very sad situation and we are trying to support her emotionally as best we can.

The kid having USC will need to live in the US for five consecutive years to prove his/her citizenship and I do believe he/she needs to be over 18 years of age to petition her.

[MikeMc 38]

sjr09, why are you so defensive?

(this is just getting funny)

What part of this story is funny to you?

I am not amused at all by this, in fact I feel very sorry for the mother and the child and the grandparents as well.

This USC needs to grow up and at least come back and tell her that he doesn't want to marry her or not.

The grandparents are stuck, they wanted to help their son, but now are stuck with their grandchild and and it's mother and would probably in all sense, want the baby to stay, but that baby also needs a mother. So they are wanting to do what ever they can LEGALLY to keep both of them here until their son comes back.

She needs to get to a free DNA clinic and have a test done, they will petition the dad. I am pretty sure if he doesn't show then he will be considered the father. And at the very least they will have a copy of the baby's DNA for later if the father challenges the Child Support.

Then after that she needs to file for CS while in the States to protect herself in the event the father doesn't come back in time and she should also assume he won't and prepare for the worst by contacting the USCIS and getting their advice.

The hardest part about all of this is that someone needs to be there that she can count on to help her get this stuff done. We don't know how willing the grandparents are to help her since she will be filing against their son. So she will need to find an organization that will assist her in the event that the grandparents decide to not hep her further.

I wish her the best of luck and hopefully the father will come back and own up by at least working something out.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

The kid having USC will need to live in the US for five consecutive years to prove his/her citizenship and I do believe he/she needs to be over 18 years of age to petition her.

I think this is correct, except I think the kid will have to be 21 before it can sponsor his mother.

I do remember that a US citizen had to live 5 years in the US, 2 of which had to be after he/she was 14, before that citizen would be eligible to convey citizenship to a foreign born child, but I don't remember if the same rules apply to being able to sponsor a parent. Unfortunately, the state department website is getting cyber attacked right now, so I can't confirm it. I guess I could check the USCIS site, which is running ok now, but finding coherent information on that site is like looking for a needle in a haystack of needles.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

sjr09, why are you so defensive?

(this is just getting funny)

What part of this story is funny to you?

I am not amused at all by this, in fact I feel very sorry for the mother and the child and the grandparents as well.

This USC needs to grow up and at least come back and tell her that he doesn't want to marry her or not.

The grandparents are stuck, they wanted to help their son, but now are stuck with their grandchild and and it's mother and would probably in all sense, want the baby to stay, but that baby also needs a mother. So they are wanting to do what ever they can LEGALLY to keep both of them here until their son comes back.

She needs to get to a free DNA clinic and have a test done, they will petition the dad. I am pretty sure if he doesn't show then he will be considered the father. And at the very least they will have a copy of the baby's DNA for later if the father challenges the Child Support.

Then after that she needs to file for CS while in the States to protect herself in the event the father doesn't come back in time and she should also assume he won't and prepare for the worst by contacting the USCIS and getting their advice.

The hardest part about all of this is that someone needs to be there that she can count on to help her get this stuff done. We don't know how willing the grandparents are to help her since she will be filing against their son. So she will need to find an organization that will assist her in the event that the grandparents decide to not hep her further.

I wish her the best of luck and hopefully the father will come back and own up by at least working something out.

The DNA tests might not even be necessary, but it's impossible to say from the limited information given. The OP said that the child is the biological son of the USC father. However, he didn't say if the child's birth was registered at the consulate in the Philippines, and if the child had a US passport. If this is the case, then the father would have had to cooperate with registering the birth and obtaining citizenship for the child, and probably had to submit an affidavit of paternity. No DNA test should be necessary if the father admitted paternity.

On the other hand, if they got a K2 for the child, and just figured they'd deal with the citizenship issue later, then DNA testing might very well be needed before she's going to get a child support order issued against him.

In any case, I doubt the legal aspects can be accomplished before she'll be required to leave the US.

Note: Looks like the state department website is up again, for now...

Edit: Nevermind. I don't think the child could have had a US passport. Unless I'm missing something in reading the documents, the parents would have had to be married to confer citizenship on the child. Citizenship can be conferred later if the birth is 'legitimated' by marriage of the parents. The fiancee arrived on a K1, and they never got married, so the child is not a US citizen yet. If I'm missing something, please point it out to me.

Edited July 8, 2009 by JimVaPhuong

[tomrein 0]

I'm very sorry for the situation and would like to offer some helpful ideas. She should file a child support case immediately!. Then she should ask the USCIS for a stay of deportation until paternity and child support is arranged. In the mean time she should phone the Philippines Consulate in her area and ask for assistance home. Pleading the Consulate go after the father of the child for any charges incurred.

Fact is the man had gone to PI and promised marriage to the woman. He impregnated her. Both are obvious promises to the woman that he intended to marry her. I see absolutely no fault in her wishing to have a family with the man who fathered her child.

Personally I was a little shocked at the lack of empathy in previous posts. I was helped tremendously here on the Visa Journey site and would like to thank again all who gave me advice along my path.

P.S. I fathered two children out of wedlock, I now after 10 years of custody battles have 90% custody of my oldest child and I am working on increasing the custody of my younger child. The situation is none that I would wish upon anyone's child let alone my own. I hope the greater judge(be it God or my children) will look back upon me in the future and say I did as good as I could with my trials.

I hope the mother and child can find a happy life sometime in the future, but now I'm sure she is devastated and the child will be quite confused in the future.

Good Luck and I hope the dead beat loses half of his income for the next 18 years, plus the 750 for the plane ticket.

[DanielParul 50]

sjr09, why are you so defensive?

(this is just getting funny)

What part of this story is funny to you?

Read the posts again. Ed+Cindy was not refering to the story as funny. It was a comment about the conversation they had with another member and was definately not meant to amuse you

[Ban Hammer 12,901]

jeesh where's the

[sjr09 155]

The kid having USC will need to live in the US for five consecutive years to prove his/her citizenship and I do believe he/she needs to be over 18 years of age to petition her.

I think this is correct, except I think the kid will have to be 21 before it can sponsor his mother.

I do remember that a US citizen had to live 5 years in the US, 2 of which had to be after he/she was 14, before that citizen would be eligible to convey citizenship to a foreign born child, but I don't remember if the same rules apply to being able to sponsor a parent. Unfortunately, the state department website is getting cyber attacked right now, so I can't confirm it. I guess I could check the USCIS site, which is running ok now, but finding coherent information on that site is like looking for a needle in a haystack of needles.

Yeah I think your right about the age. I know when I did the CRBA At Manila Embassy for my daughter, as the USC I had to prove my citizenship (living in the US for five years.)

[sjr09 155]

sjr09, why are you so defensive?

(this is just getting funny)

What part of this story is funny to you?

I am not amused at all by this, in fact I feel very sorry for the mother and the child and the grandparents as well.

This USC needs to grow up and at least come back and tell her that he doesn't want to marry her or not.

The grandparents are stuck, they wanted to help their son, but now are stuck with their grandchild and and it's mother and would probably in all sense, want the baby to stay, but that baby also needs a mother. So they are wanting to do what ever they can LEGALLY to keep both of them here until their son comes back.

She needs to get to a free DNA clinic and have a test done, they will petition the dad. I am pretty sure if he doesn't show then he will be considered the father. And at the very least they will have a copy of the baby's DNA for later if the father challenges the Child Support.

Then after that she needs to file for CS while in the States to protect herself in the event the father doesn't come back in time and she should also assume he won't and prepare for the worst by contacting the USCIS and getting their advice.

The hardest part about all of this is that someone needs to be there that she can count on to help her get this stuff done. We don't know how willing the grandparents are to help her since she will be filing against their son. So she will need to find an organization that will assist her in the event that the grandparents decide to not hep her further.

I wish her the best of luck and hopefully the father will come back and own up by at least working something out.

The DNA tests might not even be necessary, but it's impossible to say from the limited information given. The OP said that the child is the biological son of the USC father. However, he didn't say if the child's birth was registered at the consulate in the Philippines, and if the child had a US passport. If this is the case, then the father would have had to cooperate with registering the birth and obtaining citizenship for the child, and probably had to submit an affidavit of paternity. No DNA test should be necessary if the father admitted paternity.

On the other hand, if they got a K2 for the child, and just figured they'd deal with the citizenship issue later, then DNA testing might very well be needed before she's going to get a child support order issued against him.

In any case, I doubt the legal aspects can be accomplished before she'll be required to leave the US.

Note: Looks like the state department website is up again, for now...

Edit: Nevermind. I don't think the child could have had a US passport. Unless I'm missing something in reading the documents, the parents would have had to be married to confer citizenship on the child. Citizenship can be conferred later if the birth is 'legitimated' by marriage of the parents. The fiancee arrived on a K1, and they never got married, so the child is not a US citizen yet. If I'm missing something, please point it out to me.

Married or not! the child born to a USC can get USC/passport, as the father who is the USC can file for CRBA or give the mother formal permission.