JERK FIANCEE

[Bobby+Umit 161]

How can you people make any judgements about him from this post????? Perhaps he realized just how truly vindictive the OP is (evidenced by her desire to take action against him). Maybe it was HER true nature that was revealed.

"Hell hath no fury like a ...."

[Krikit 1,163]

Fiance or fiancee?

Fiance is accepted spelling for either sex.

By whom?

[Usui Takumi 1,562]

Yeah...i'm pretty sure thats not right....there are two spellings.

And I wouldn't blame either the OP or would be spouse. This is a crappy process that can stress people out to the point where they say things they normally wouldn't.

[EZ3145 0]

How can you people make any judgements about him from this post????? Perhaps he realized just how truly vindictive the OP is (evidenced by her desire to take action against him). Maybe it was HER true nature that was revealed.

RIGHT ON! Never rush to judgment, folks, when you only have one side of the story. Certainly, the OP doesn't sound like an angel here.

I'm sure he was "the one" when your relationship started. Now he's the "JERK" fiance

What did your "jerk" fiance do to you??

A little about your story, please.

[john_and_marlene 162]

I'm sure he was "the one" when your relationship started.

He was most likely "the one" only minutes before he was "the jerk"

[Ban Hammer 12,867]

Fiance or fiancee?

Fiance is accepted spelling for either sex.

By whom?

by people in san fran?

[Krikit 1,163]

[katraska78 6]

Thank you for all your answers and, since I did not give you that much detail so you can judge for yourselves, here it goes: We met online, as most of us who are in this forum did. We used to chat for about 4 to 5 hours daily and he was so nice and thoughtful, he made me fall in love again after 14 years I divorced my first husband.

He came down here to my country, talked to both my parents, my son, my brothers and sisters and propossed on my birthday. He told me I should sell all my stuff in order to travel to the States, and I should quit my job, in order to focus in the selling and the papers.

He went to work to California and, since his schedule is so busy. He would tell me the hours I could call, which I did and never missed an opportunity to feed the relationship with tenderness and love, since it is so hard to keep long distance relationships.

He is a surfer so most of the weekend he spend surfing and spending time with his friends, which was cool on my side, only instead of the four to eight hours he spent doing that, I once told him that we could use one or two hours of that time to catch up on our lives and how things were. He just lost it, and said I wanted to make him quit surfing, that he was not going to have that and that the relationship was over. I was very confused, but he called and he apologized for that and, blaming it on the stress, I said everything was okay.

Then the filling of the papers came and I found out that he had lied about several things: he is a divorced man, when he told me he was single. He has a 28 year old son, whom he never saw or wanted to find out about. He also lied about being a recovery alcoholic which I found out when he sent the two DUI's he had back in the day, for the visa paperwork.

He told me all kinds of excuses for this facts. He said that he was afraid he would loose me if he found out this things, and this time I forgot him again (me the vendictive one!).

Time passed and the chats on the cam, and the time we would spend together, were down to almost nothing. He started to give all kinds of excuses saying he was the only one who did all the work in the house (living with two roommates), so he said he had to do dishes, he had to clean, he had to do whatever, so he could not talk that long.

Everytime I pointed this to him, he would say I was no good to him, I was dishonest, I was a lyar and that the relationship was over, and he made sure I'd find out that he had oppened profiles on dating sites.

Last time I was feeling kind of stressed and a little bit deppressed because my son was going to stay here in the country and franckly, I was feeling insecure due to his behaviour.

Anyways I told him how I felt and asked him to find a different way to handle pressure, to find it in his heart to treat me in a different way when we had a discussion, because those things really hurt me and that, as much as I gave him support, I would like his comfort and support due to this nerve wrecking process.

What I got is he saying that he was perceiving a deppressive pattern on me, and that the relationship was finally over.

I used the money I had from the selling of all my things to pay debt. And since the world crisis is so big, the unemployment rate is almost impossible here in my country, anyways right now I think I'm going to have a job by next week, so I can start from scratch.

Now you have all the facts, you can judge from a different perspective and hope all this information was usefull.

Thank you all for your help.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hey,

Bad luck I had to find the jerk of all jerks. All the visa processing was going ok and all of the sudden he flipped out, turned out to be a real piece of work!!! How can I do to withdraw his pettition and maybe take legal actions on emotional and physcological abuse.

Anyways, if you could please help me, and if I meet someone else, am I banned to go because of what this sensless man did to me?

Im desperate, please help me!!! Does he go unpunished and can do this to some other woman? I do not think all this is fair!!!

K

Do what? You do not say what he did.

If you are the foreign fiance(e) you need not do anything, only the USC can withdraw the peition and if he does not it will die of old age soon. Sure, get out there trolling again and you can be petitioned by some other better man.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hey,

Bad luck I had to find the jerk of all jerks. All the visa processing was going ok and all of the sudden he flipped out, turned out to be a real piece of work!!! How can I do to withdraw his pettition and maybe take legal actions on emotional and physcological abuse.

Anyways, if you could please help me, and if I meet someone else, am I banned to go because of what this sensless man did to me?

Im desperate, please help me!!! Does he go unpunished and can do this to some other woman? I do not think all this is fair!!!

K

Do what? You do not say what he did.

If you are the foreign fiance(e) you need not do anything, only the USC can withdraw the peition and if he does not it will die of old age soon. Sure, get out there trolling again and you can be petitioned by some other better man.

For my opinion, sounds like it was one way from the start. Be glad you found out now and not after you were married. If you quit your job and sold things before you had the visa in hand it is your own fault. NEVER do that. There are too many other things that can go wrong. My wife never mentioned this to her job until she had visa in her hand, then gave them 1 month notice. Sure it delayed our being together by a month, So what? It is was mature and intelligent decision when family is involved.

Your entered into this relationship and continued even after lots of flags telling you other wise. Sure the guy is a jerk. I agree. No there is no civil or criminal action you can take without losing and yes, he can do it to any other woman that puts up with his #######.

[clueless_in_usa 8]

Dear OP,

Reading what you wrote, I know that it is difficult and it hurts a lot, but I believe that you should consider yourself lucky. A person like that has no place in your life and you should take this as a growth opportunity, despite the heartache and the consequences you will have to suffer.

Although some people in VJ strongly believe that once you propose or get proposed to and start the K-1 visa process, you are 100% committed to getting married, I would say that you should be glad you can actually avoid the train wreck before it is too late. When one of the partners shows the true colors of his/her personality, it ain't worth it, at any stage of the K-1 process.

And regarding selling everything, it is probably too late already, but "don't count the chicken until they hatch!"

By the way, I am not being insensitive. Just my honest opinion.

[katraska78 6]

Thank you for your oppinion, I respect it because it is helpull, truthfull and in a non judging space. I know this is a growing opportunity for me and even though it is very hurtful, I wouldnt want other women to go through this.

[Nik+Heather 121]

Thank you for your oppinion, I respect it because it is helpull, truthfull and in a non judging space. I know this is a growing opportunity for me and even though it is very hurtful, I wouldnt want other women to go through this.

Fortunately, the women of the world haven't created a global black list where we can swap stories about all the mistakes our exboyfriends made. Would you want all of your exes to try to ruin every one of your future relationships?

[mahboula 11]

Fortunately, the women of the world haven't created a global black list where we can swap stories about all the mistakes our exboyfriends made. Would you want all of your exes to try to ruin every one of your future relationships?

We do have that list...sad I know. dontdatehimgirl.com

[clueless_in_usa 8]

Fortunately, the women of the world haven't created a global black list where we can swap stories about all the mistakes our exboyfriends made. Would you want all of your exes to try to ruin every one of your future relationships?

We do have that list...sad I know. dontdatehimgirl.com

Here is another one

thedatingblacklist.com