U.S. citizen wife is to withdraw I-130 petition before aos interview - urgent help!

[soveryscared 0]

Hi all,

This is my first post here, and I am in need of urgent help at this moment. I apologize for the long post, and I hope you don't mind going through all of it.

This is my story:

I came to the US as a Ph.D. student in 2004 and for it I did a very good job until I graduated August 2008. In September 2006 I met Audrey, and we started our relationship on the basis of true love, friendship and honesty. Our relationship started very nicely, we loved each other very, very much. I considered Audrey to be the love of my life, as we got along so well. We moved in together in January 2007 and had a happy life together, with some ups and downs, since she was having hard financial troubles at the time, and her job did not pay her very well. She had been diagnosed with problems of depression (and she has been diagnosed with mental illnesses several times) so I supported her both emotionally and financially and she always said that she was feeling better largely because of my help and support. I went with her on a vacation to my home country (which I and my family paid completely for her) in summer 2007 where she met my family, we always loved her and treated her like a princess all the time.

We got married in May 2008 in the US, my family came for the wedding and both her and my family were extremely happy to see us together and so happy, I was truly happy myself as I felt I loved her so much, and it had been her dream for the longest time. We had a very beautiful wedding and ceremony. I finished my Ph.D. in June 2008 at which point I was on my job search to finally fulfill the dreams that Audrey and I had always planned, without any more financial burdens, to have a place of our own and to live a happy life. But my job search got increasingly difficult with the economy crisis. I applied to OPT (Optional Practical Training) so I could get a job and continue without having to change my status by applying to permanent residence, for several reasons, including the possibility of me getting a job in another country. In normal circumstances this would have been perfectly feasible, but not with this horrendous economic landscape. Since we were running out of money and I had not got a job, we had to move to our friends place first and later to her parents house in another city. We got advised that if I wanted to improve my chances of getting a job with the bad economy it would be a lot easier if I changed my status to LPR. Thus with mutual agreement (I asked her dozens of times if she wanted to go ahead with the application, to which she always replied positive) we submitted the application through a lawyer in December. The winter started with all its relentless sadness and I got depressed and extremely sad, under the circumstances, being very short on money, no income, far from home, at her parents house, in the midst of the worst economy in 60 years, no working permit which could help me in any way, in a house far from everything, and no chance to go anywhere without her.

And then the worst happened. In January she began not coming back in the nights, with the excuse that she was staying at her friends, or somewhere else, this became more and more frequent until one day she told me that I had to leave, she said "You are not going to get a job here, I don't want to be married to you, I want you to go to back to your country", and later she added "I have a friend who I care for". Then all my suspicions were confirmed, she was cheating on me and with that she completely shattered my heart. At that instant I truly felt like my soul had left my body, we had been together for 2 1/2 years and then she comes to me with this? in this horrible way? at the moment when I am more vulnerable?. I tried by all means to persuade her to stop seeing the other man, I begged her to please stop doing that, that I loved her and I did not understand why she was doing it, to what she replied that she had decided our marriage was over and that she only cared about that other guy. I also explained to her that I could not just disappear like a magician because of the immigration process, and because I have other problems like my car loan which make it much harder for me to leave. But then she became even more cruel, whenever she left to stay with her lover she made sure to let me know that I knew it was happening, sending me text messages telling me that she was not going to answer her phone because she was staying with her lover, and at some point she told me "I think I maybe pregnant with his baby, no problem, he will take care of me and the baby". To this she later told me that she was not pregnant, so I assume she did it only to hurt me. She also started pointing out that her lover was promising her heaven and earth, that he would give her everything that I could not offer at that moment. So she turned totally against me, she started threatening me that she was going to file for divorce and withdraw her I-130 petition, and she did everything to finally forced me to leave her parents house (without their consent) saying that if I stayed there she would notify immigration. All of this just because she has been blinded by what that other guy offers her, her level of cruelty has become extreme, and she does not even seem to feel any remorse about her actions.

So today I get an email from the lawyer who was representing us to USCIS saying that she had requested him to withdraw her I-130, so that my application will be denied, and that I need to get legal advise urgently because he is not going to represent either her or me any longer after sending her request to immigration.

Here I am at my friends place, helpless and very scared about what is going to happen to me. I don't care about getting a green card or not. If the solution is that i have to go back to my country, I will be more than happy to do it, to be away from all the horrible pain Audrey is causing me now, all I want is to leave any legal issues cleared in the U.S. before leaving, including the fact that I still owe a lot of money to the bank for my car loan and there is no way that I can sell it for what I owe, or in a short time with this bad economy. I have been extremely stressed for a very long time now, and I just want a little peace.

What can I do??? can anybody help me???? can somebody refer me to a good lawyer in the New York metro area?

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Without her support (I-864), and since you do not have the greencard yet, you are in a precarious situation.

If you do not care about a greencard, then you should divorce her now, before you leave, and go on with your life.

A lawyer would be your best bet. I do not know of any in that area, but perhaps someone here will give you guidance.

Good luck!

[soveryscared 0]

Without her support (I-864), and since you do not have the greencard yet, you are in a precarious situation.

If you do not care about a greencard, then you should divorce her now, before you leave, and go on with your life.

A lawyer would be your best bet. I do not know of any in that area, but perhaps someone here will give you guidance.

Good luck!

Actually the affidavit of support was provided by her father, who has assured me that he is not going to withdraw the I-864 regardless of his daughter's intentions, I know that does not help at all to my situation, but I would like to clear that up. My immediate problem at this is with the I-130 which of course is under Audrey's control. She requested the immigration attorney to withdraw her petition, he notified me with an email that he is doing that this week and after that he will stop representing any of us.

I just found from a phone call today that the process needs to be closed so that another attorney can take it.... is that true? I really do not understand how that can be. They say that if two attorneys are working on the same open process it is illegal, so how can I find help then??????

As I explained, what I want is to get everything regarding my legal status perfectly clean in the U.S. including credit history, immigration status, and divorce wise (the divorce was caused by Audrey's adultery, her sabotage to any attempt I made to save the marriage, and the insults and abuses I received from her). This is for several reasons, including the potential future need to come back for professional reasons, and to avoid having a disaster with my credit history. If there is anyway that I can get the green card it would be a blessing after all this nightmare but that is not my target, and it never was. Thus I can not simply divorce and leave, if that was the case I would be doing it in a snap, there are loose ends to fix and the time pressure makes it much harder.

Thanks for your reply.

[^KK^ 3]

sorry to hear this news...i wish you the best.

[EtherealVocalist 0]

I, unfortunately have no advice for you... I just wanted to say how sorry I am to read something this saddening.

I wish you only the best...

[milimelo 4,886]

Without her support (I-864), and since you do not have the greencard yet, you are in a precarious situation.

If you do not care about a greencard, then you should divorce her now, before you leave, and go on with your life.

A lawyer would be your best bet. I do not know of any in that area, but perhaps someone here will give you guidance.

Good luck!

I agree.

When it comes to the car loan situation - that is considered a secured debt (they take it back if you can't pay) - if you can't pay it back, the lender will either take it back or reposess it if you don't pay on time. I suggest going to where you got your car and turning it in before you leave.

Good luck.

[JERIII 8]

Sorry to hear about your situation.

Without your wife's support, whether you are divorced or not, you cannot get a green card via her I-130 petition.

You are currently on post-graduate OPT, correct? That is supported by your student visa, and you can stay until the end of that time. Since you have a Ph.D, if you find a job in your field at the level of your training, your job will probably sponsor you for a visa - postdoc, assistant professor, industry whatever. If you want to stay here, I would concentrate the efforts on looking for a professional position, and not focus too much on the divorce right now.

If you don't want to stay here, I would not worry too much about the car loan. Talk to whomever holds the loan. Arrnage what you can, and go.

Good luck.

[soveryscared 0]

Without her support (I-864), and since you do not have the greencard yet, you are in a precarious situation.

If you do not care about a greencard, then you should divorce her now, before you leave, and go on with your life.

A lawyer would be your best bet. I do not know of any in that area, but perhaps someone here will give you guidance.

Good luck!

I agree.

When it comes to the car loan situation - that is considered a secured debt (they take it back if you can't pay) - if you can't pay it back, the lender will either take it back or reposess it if you don't pay on time. I suggest going to where you got your car and turning it in before you leave.

Good luck.

Thank you,

If I allow the bank to repossess my car my credit history will be ruined. The credit is defaulted and it is called a delinquent credit, so it is a serious problem. The report of the repossession will be in my credit history for at least seven years. That is exactly what I am trying to avoid, the consequences of this report in my credit history are completely unpredictable for my future.

[soveryscared 0]

Sorry to hear about your situation.

Without your wife's support, whether you are divorced or not, you cannot get a green card via her I-130 petition.

You are currently on post-graduate OPT, correct? That is supported by your student visa, and you can stay until the end of that time. Since you have a Ph.D, if you find a job in your field at the level of your training, your job will probably sponsor you for a visa - postdoc, assistant professor, industry whatever. If you want to stay here, I would concentrate the efforts on looking for a professional position, and not focus too much on the divorce right now.

If you don't want to stay here, I would not worry too much about the car loan. Talk to whomever holds the loan. Arrnage what you can, and go.

Good luck.

Thank you JerIII,

I am in OPT, however the new rules for OPT state that you can have only a total of three months of unemployment in OPT, and that time has already been depleted for me. Furthermore, my working permit (EAD) has been approved, and it cancels automatically the working permit I got through OPT... doesn't it? And even worse, believe me, I have been concentrating as much as possible on finding a job, I lost the count of the number of applications I have sent already, as I mentioned before it is more than 7000 with no luck at all, the timing for this happening in such a bad economy could not have been any worse.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Indeed, without your wife's support; you cannot adjust status. It does not matter if your father in law still would like to co-sponsor you; he was no legal standing (the wife is ALWAYS the primary sponsor in AOS cases) to do so.

Best of luck.

[payxibka 10,048]

Indeed, without your wife's support; you cannot adjust status. It does not matter if your father in law still would like to co-sponsor you; he was no legal standing (the wife is ALWAYS the primary sponsor in AOS cases) to do so.

Best of luck.

but also the petitioner.... if she withdraws the petition, then any sponsor issues are moot.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Indeed, without your wife's support; you cannot adjust status. It does not matter if your father in law still would like to co-sponsor you; he was no legal standing (the wife is ALWAYS the primary sponsor in AOS cases) to do so.

Best of luck.

but also the petitioner.... if she withdraws the petition, then any sponsor issues are moot.

You are very right my brother

[Eric-Pris 1,609]

I am in OPT, however the new rules for OPT state that you can have only a total of three months of unemployment in OPT, and that time has already been depleted for me.

So, does that mean that you are now out of status? If so, that's not good. Depending on how long, an overstay can get you a ban. I wouldn't worry about the credit so much, you can repair that. Get the divorce ASAP and go home.

It seems that this woman was looking for financial security and when she realized that you wouldn't be able to provide that for her, she turned to another man. It sounds like you did nothing wrong, the economy is not your fault.

Good luck

[reeses16 8]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I think it was very professional of your attorney to notify both you an your wife that he will not represent either of you after the petition is withdrawn. Perhaps you can ask him to recommend another lawyer, someone at his office or a colleague at another firm?

Your legal status in the US is more important than your credit score. Your score could recover from damage over time, but if you overstay that will follow you for a much longer time and possible prevent you from returning to the US (and lowering your earning potential). Would your father-in-law be willing to help you with the car? Perhaps you could sell it and he could loan you the money remaining payments owed? IF this is possible, discuss the terms, payment plan, method, due date etc. and both you keep a signed copy of the terms. Or you could try to work with the dealer (it might not help, but it wouldn't hurt to ask)) or return it to the dealer (a slightly better option than repossession).

Edited May 4, 2009 by reeses16

[Mohan bahadur 3]

I do not understand what others are talking about. may be we can offer what we know. But bunch of " i am sorry to hear this" is not going to help.

You need to act and act fast. Your I-130 means nothing if it is withdrawn. And since she is pulling the plug off, you better forget about the green card at this stage. She can do that if you have not been to the interview, and this I-130 From Audrey is not going to do any good to you. So try to forget about it as a bad dream. Just dont over react. You have your PHD and the OPT. until then you may also try to find from your professor if you can do Post Doc. I think its the same as OPT but different than a regular OPT. I have seen many POST DOC students where they get paid certain amount for the program. That way your academia wont be screwed, atleast. In the mean time dont give your job search and who knows you may land something.

Now start living like an American, meaning fu** emotions and past. Now on, your priority is you , and you and you and you. if that means you have to leave this country , so be it. now the question is if you have to leave the country why are you worried about the car loan and credit. Screw credit. that isnot important. Credit repairs itself in 7 years or less depending on the case. What is important is your life and your mental sanity.

On the other hand, Make sure you mention on the Divorce complaint that the reason for thi divorce is "Adultery". that means the marriage will be annulled, which means as if you never got married at all, Period. That is a very important base on your divorce complaint, and depending on your state law , if the reason is adultery, you may not have to abide by the for the statutory Seperation period. Also make sure you claim everything you can so that your rights are preserverd in the case of a divorce. Dont let her take a penny away from you, but make her pay for her cheating. and again you will need a lawyer to do this.

Now comes the money part. You need two lawyers , or may be one that knows both divorce and immigration. if you still want to see if you have any chances to continue with the same I-130, Go to AILA.com , find the number and they can refer you to a long list of member immigration attorneys in your area. Many, if you go through Aila, do not charge anything or minimal for initial cosulationa. You should be able to find out if you have any case with our I-130 during the first meeting with a competent lawyer. If a lawyer beats bush too much, screw him. Go to another one. i know a lawyer here in DC area, he will tell you upfront , after looking into any case, whether the case is good enough or not. If it is not , he would nto take it. But if he says it will work then that will work. He is known as Mancini.

Every Monday at 2:00 there are two prominent immigration lawyers come on line and chat. Where they take questions from people like us who dont have alot of money but do have lots of immigration questions. The site is http://www.lawyers.com/discuss-your-legal-issue.html. The next chat is scheduled for May 11, at 2:00 pm. you can submit your questions before hand. And if needed and you are happy with those replying attorneys, you can hire them or they will tell how to, or least they will refer you to some lawyeers in New york.

So bottom line, Screw your depression. Get your act together, dot the eyes and cross the teeth and start working on your life man. This is your priority and you and you and you , only you can untangle this dreaded mess.

Good luck!!