what to expect when partner arrives

[Susita 175]

Me and my wife have hit it off from the day she arrived

She has been here 8 months and we are fully adjusted.

We dated for 2 years before she came to US, maybe that is why we have seen no issues or problems.

You know what? My husband is the same way. He moved here in October and I honestly thought it was going to be more difficult, but it's not!! He goes to the community college for English, works full-time (his English is getting there - but unfortunately he had to take a lower paying job because he still needs to improve A LOT).

All in all, we're really happy. We're pretty laid back people and both adjust really well to new situations so everything worked out.

He's americanized A LOT too. A little too much I think. He's got a Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee addiction already AHHHHH

What's next? an iPhone??

[sunshine2 0]

Just make sure your thumb isn't in that car door - happened to me when I was a kid...and the car was one of those tank-like Lincoln Continentals so you really had to slam the door HARD..... I still have the scar....

And I would agree give it a year - it took me that long just to adjust to being in NYC from Hawaii.

My biggest worry is... what is he going to DO while I am at work, if he doesn't have any work leads to follow up on, etc.? We don't have any kids or pets(want to get a bird or two, maybe a dog), live in a small apartment(with a roommate...for now, until we have 2 incomes) so it's not like there's yardwork, etc. for him to do... He is used to being with his mom and dad and 3 sisters at home...used to help his dad a lot with his business... at least my roommate has met my husband before in Nepal and they enjoyed hanging out together so he won't be alone all the time.

Yeah, what do we do when our spouse is at work?? This is the hardest part for me. I am used to being independent and working etc. and now I have trouble getting a car and a job and have been stuck within a 2 mile radius for the past 4 months. My husband works long hours so generally I have 10-12 hours on my own at home 4 days a week. I volunteer at the local library and wanted to do more but I could only get a few hours there and all the other places I could volunteer I need a car to get to. I think a lot of the time the people around don't realize how demoralizing it can be to not have work. I am praying for a car and a job soon before I go crazy!

[trinket 30]

Me and my wife have hit it off from the day she arrived

She has been here 8 months and we are fully adjusted.

We dated for 2 years before she came to US, maybe that is why we have seen no issues or problems.

You know what? My husband is the same way. He moved here in October and I honestly thought it was going to be more difficult, but it's not!! He goes to the community college for English, works full-time (his English is getting there - but unfortunately he had to take a lower paying job because he still needs to improve A LOT).

All in all, we're really happy. We're pretty laid back people and both adjust really well to new situations so everything worked out.

He's americanized A LOT too. A little too much I think. He's got a Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee addiction already AHHHHH

What's next? an iPhone??

Trust me iPhone isn't Americanised at all. I had an iphone back in India

It's been 6 months for me here and I have adjusted pretty well, no jobs yet but I am not all gloomy and what not. I enjoy going to library, I have made friends already on my own and I am getting better by the day in country style cooking

[Kar98 0]

Yeah, what do we do when our spouse is at work?? This is the hardest part for me. I am used to being independent and working etc. and now I have trouble getting a car and a job and have been stuck within a 2 mile radius for the past 4 months. My husband works long hours so generally I have 10-12 hours on my own at home 4 days a week. I volunteer at the local library and wanted to do more but I could only get a few hours there and all the other places I could volunteer I need a car to get to. I think a lot of the time the people around don't realize how demoralizing it can be to not have work. I am praying for a car and a job soon before I go crazy!

Really? There are sooooooo many things one can do around Denver that don't require a car. That's assuming the location in your profile is accurate and not short for "somewhere in Colorado"

I made friends here: http://www.wscc-denver.org/ , you know, just walked in to see what this place was about, then spent some time working there. I'm reasonably sure there might be something like that in your neighborhood, too. Unless you're in Highlands Ranch, then you're boned. Hung out at the Tattered Cover in LoDo. Made friends at the gun shows at the exhibition centers and got introduced to other people. Walked the dogs in the park close by and made friends there. A regular social f•cking butterfly, I am

What are your interests?

Edited June 3, 2009 by Kar98

[TBoneTX 43,482]

all the other places I could volunteer I need a car to get to.

Try this: Find some organizations that interest you, call them, and explain your situation. You may be very pleasantly surprised to find that another volunteer will be willing to pick you up and drive you to the organization's place of activity. That same person or another can later drive you home, or close enough so that you can walk the rest of the way. I doubt that you'd have to make as many as three phone calls in order to get this idea to work. Try it, and let us know your results.

[luckymom 0]

This is a perfect topic for all of us. I came here last 2007, my third time. I met my husband the last quarter of that year when I was in Massachusetts. That was not the typical love at first sight (we're too old for that) but we really get along great. We don't have much issues, he is a very understanding guy especially if I'm cooking our exotic foods. He likes many filipino foods but not all and I also like American foods. I have a great mother-in-law and we get along fine. I have two kids and it's amazing that my USC husband is an ideal stepfather. He has no kid at the age of 55 and I was afraid at first that my two sons and him will have a hard time. He is always there to be our guide and he taught me and my sons everything about American culture. Many times he corrected our grammar (he is very good at it). I was an English tutor in my country yet I still have a lot of things to learn because sometimes I do tend to translate some words literal. My kids and I have a hard time sometimes because my USC husband tends to talk with a lot of metaphors (I hate that actually) but I have to live with it. And also those old American sayings, I just ignore him and my mom-in-law if they talk especially if they're using strange words and phrases but I ask him after "what do you mean by this and that".

Now, after more than a year of being his better half everything is much better. He was amazed when I talked about the words "positivity, litany, concubinage, paramour" etc. He is very good in English but it's funny because he is not familiar in those words. At least I know some words that are unfamiliar to him. And my greatest achievement in the house is I always beat him in spelling and scrabble. :dance:

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Six months seems to be the calmer point, for us too. That second week was the worst but now im always hearing (i get it now) on things i been trying to tell him and hes just now believing me it seems ha our next step is the driving but it wont be me as the teacher, luckily he can drive (his) way

[TBoneTX 43,482]

I talked about the words "positivity, litany, concubinage, paramour"

"Concubinage" is one of those all-time words that belongs in EVERYONE'S daily vocabulary, si man.

[GheTToJaTTi 0]

Americans sure do slam car doors.

thats me!!! hahhaha

[miss g 1]

ive been here a couple of weeks.. I AM BORED OUTA MY MIND.. but im working on it.. im trying to stay positive focused and get things organised.. its really hard because i am all alone. My fiance's family are more interfering than supportive, only offering moral judgement, so Im pretty much on my own, which is fine..

the end of the first week was BADDDD, we had a huge row, then his mother and sister got involved but I didnt back down..

i think alot of the issues dealing with family in the beginning is the defining whos is what.. people find change difficult to swallow so i guess patience and understanding is the best way to go

[TBoneTX 43,482]

patience and understanding is the best way to go

You can also become expert in the art & science of administering "wedgies." This will relieve not only your boredom, but also that of others.

[letty 1]

I was in the US for 14 months and had a great time. Moved back home, got married, and than had to make the final decision who was gonna move. I lost and moved to the US. I had hoped I would get settled very easy since I lived in the same town before, but after being here for over a year it is still very hard.

In think what makes a great difference is what you have to give up and what you get back for it. I had a great job, and now I have a hard time finding work and the job I do right now I can't stand. I tried to get back into school but they won't transfer my bachelors degree without taking 8 classes first. I love my family and feel very lonely here although my husbands family is nice to me. I have the feeling I lost almost everything I had before and have to start all over again.

I hope things get better, I have faith that if this is my place things will work out, and know that our love is strong enough to keep us together.

Letty

[miss g 1]

i feel the same way.. i had everything.. friends that would do anything for me.. but we made our choice!!

[letty 1]

Thank you so much for your response!!! I feel sometimes guilty to have the feeling that I just lost everything and have to start all over again, and hardly talk with anybody about it, so it makes me feel a little better that there are more people feeling the same way. My family-in-law sometimes give me the impression as if I have a very good life here and should appreciate it more. Although I have nothing much here, I appreciate to be able to be with the one I love, but if I had the choice again I would no do it!

[CanTex 1]

You know even though I will be moving from AB Canada to Corpus Christi TX there will still be a change.

I have been a legal secretary for 25 years here, but the procedures there are different. The people in

the area around CC where I will be have been in their jobs for alot of their working years. They eat alot

of Mexican Food. Though I enjoy Mexican Food all that deep frying and tortillas are too much for my short

frame to consume, lol.

Little things will come about but we have alot of fun with our differences. Their restroom is where you go

do your "thing" I do that in the washroom. They say the washroom is for doing laundry. lol I take my shoes

off at the door they do not - that will change. They cannot get over our loonie and toonie. Not so much as

that our dollar and two dollar is a coin but why call it such a silly name?

My fiance and inlaws live on 4 acres, but do not garden. I have put in a veggie garden and a flower garden.

I have even convinced them to start composting. Just throw your veggie scraps and tea/coffee bags in a ziplock

and I'll compost it. They love it!! They have shown me that "yes we Americans love to stop at the local convenience

store for a taco and coffee to go". What's wrong with a to-go cup from home and maybe a sandwich. We love

teasing each other.

Always enjoy the differences and laugh instead of making it rude about our differences.