What are the legalities of desertion after green card is recieved

[Dennis Miller 0]

Dennis, I hope that even though you quoted my post that was just because you hit 'reply'; certainly don't take that as evidence that people are tired of hearing about your problems... I was having a dig at Boiler for pronouncing on your situation in such definite terms; that sort of thing irks me no end

fair enough, as many people have done, to give you some possibilities, stated as such, but to tell you what IS the case, when they don't even know you? supreme arrogance, in my opinion

if you want to let the thread retire now, I think people will understand, but equally I think people would like to know what you decide to do, and how you get on, if you'd like to share it... in either case, I sincerely wish you the very best

Yes, ultimately the decisions are yours. Feel free to share and ask as you please. We never get the full story of relationships even when husband and wife are both posting, so it's easy to draw the wrong conclusions. GIGO is alive.

Thank you pushbrk!

[Dennis Miller 0]

wow, you know so much! can you tell me my future? I'm a Leo

Some people can turn off their feelings like that, very quickly, others cannot! It seems to me that everyone is getting tired of hearing about my problems so I will stop now. Many thanks to everyone who posted back. I do appreciate it. I now have a much better understanding of what I believe is happening, although I don't like it or deserve it. I will never know how a Chinese woman can loose face by telling her husband the truth if she has done nothing bad. Dennis

I wish you the best!!! At this point I would take care of yourself first! Don't be afraid to ask questions here or vent if you need it. Someone here is reading!

I wish you the best also and good luck with your AOS! I don't know how long they let these topics go but I will try to post back here when I know something. Thank you, you are very kind!

[DARUMA07 25]

Dennis,

I have been following this thread since the beginning. I have nothing to offer but to tell you that to "keep your head up and to follow your Heart". We wish you the best!!

[sereia 0]

wow, you know so much! can you tell me my future? I'm a Leo

Some people can turn off their feelings like that, very quickly, others cannot! It seems to me that everyone is getting tired of hearing about my problems so I will stop now. Many thanks to everyone who posted back. I do appreciate it. I now have a much better understanding of what I believe is happening, although I don't like it or deserve it. I will never know how a Chinese woman can loose face by telling her husband the truth if she has done nothing bad. Dennis

I wish you the best!!! At this point I would take care of yourself first! Don't be afraid to ask questions here or vent if you need it. Someone here is reading!

I wish you the best also and good luck with your AOS! I don't know how long they let these topics go but I will try to post back here when I know something. Thank you, you are very kind!

your post will still be here! so post and let us know when you make a decision if you feel comfortable.

Edited March 29, 2008 by sereia

[Boiler 43,684]

wow, you know so much! can you tell me my future? I'm a Leo

Some people can turn off their feelings like that, very quickly, others cannot! It seems to me that everyone is getting tired of hearing about my problems so I will stop now. Many thanks to everyone who posted back. I do appreciate it. I now have a much better understanding of what I believe is happening, although I don't like it or deserve it. I will never know how a Chinese woman can loose face by telling her husband the truth if she has done nothing bad. Dennis

Don't let ignorance stopping you from posting here and asking questions. Some people just always have to be supersmart.

Ignorant and Supersmart? Surely one or the other, not both.

But if I missed anything in my summation, I would welcome correction.

I am going to guess there may also be a significant age difference, an educated guess.

[pushbrk 12,221]

wow, you know so much! can you tell me my future? I'm a Leo

Some people can turn off their feelings like that, very quickly, others cannot! It seems to me that everyone is getting tired of hearing about my problems so I will stop now. Many thanks to everyone who posted back. I do appreciate it. I now have a much better understanding of what I believe is happening, although I don't like it or deserve it. I will never know how a Chinese woman can loose face by telling her husband the truth if she has done nothing bad. Dennis

Don't let ignorance stopping you from posting here and asking questions. Some people just always have to be supersmart.

Ignorant and Supersmart? Surely one or the other, not both.

But if I missed anything in my summation, I would welcome correction.

I am going to guess there may also be a significant age difference, an educated guess.

I believe you left out the "I still love you and don't want a divorce." However, my leanings are also that the marriage is probably not retrievable at this point, the keyword being probably. I would still want to communicate with the wife before taking any legal action. I would not conclude the marriage was never a valid one but do expect the age difference exceeds 15 years. (not that there's anything wrong with the age difference, just that it's probably one factor in the picture) There are two parties to the relationship and we have no information about how this woman was treated by her husband. (just the facts, not an accusation)

[Chocolot 0]

Dennis, I am sorry you are so confused and worried about the situation you are in.

As said in a previous post, your wife will have a conditional card if her card was applied for before the 2 year anniversary of your marriage. This would been in Oct 2007, so if she arrived in Feb that year I imagine you would have applied before 7 months had elapsed and you yourself would have had forms to sign, do you have copies of them so that you can check?

Your wife may not be aware that the card is conditional on your marriage being confirmed after 2 years. There is another application needed that you would need to file jointly, for her to remain here legally if her card gives her "conditional" residence. I know the legalities may have been overlooked as the rules can be very difficult even for those with English as their 1st language to get their heads around.

I hope for the best for your future

There's nothing that says one must stay in the marriage just because one has a green card. So the mere fact that she's left doesn't tell us much of anything.

What we'd need to know is two things: whether her permanent residency is conditional (it's not clear when you married, or if she'll need to remove conditions), and whether you suspect that the marriage was entered into primarily for immigration benefit.

We married in China Oct. 17th 2005. She came to the US in FEb. 2007. We lived happily together for eight months, until she got the green card. At that time she went back to China for three months. Returned to US Feb. 14th this year and one week after returning said she was leaving to go to work in California. Left on the 28th. I paid airfare. She said before leaving that she loved me and did not want a divorce. She has never been affectionate to me. I just feel I was used to get here and get legal and then bye, bye! She has permanent residency for ten years. I don't know if she has to remove conditions as I never got to see the card or letter with it. I did see the notice they sent before mailing it and it said nothing about removing conditions. Thank you for your input!

as said in a previous post, your wife will have a conditional card if her card was applied for before the 2 year anniversary of your marriage. This would be Oct 2007, you would have had forms to fill, do you have the copies that you can check? She

[pushbrk 12,221]

as said in a previous post, your wife will have a conditional card if her card was applied for before the 2 year anniversary of your marriage. This would be Oct 2007, you would have had forms to fill, do you have the copies that you can check? She

This is not correct. See bolded above.

The card is unconditional if ISSUED after the two-year anniversary, which it was.

[Dennis Miller 0]

wow, you know so much! can you tell me my future? I'm a Leo

Some people can turn off their feelings like that, very quickly, others cannot! It seems to me that everyone is getting tired of hearing about my problems so I will stop now. Many thanks to everyone who posted back. I do appreciate it. I now have a much better understanding of what I believe is happening, although I don't like it or deserve it. I will never know how a Chinese woman can loose face by telling her husband the truth if she has done nothing bad. Dennis

Don't let ignorance stopping you from posting here and asking questions. Some people just always have to be supersmart.

Ignorant and Supersmart? Surely one or the other, not both.

But if I missed anything in my summation, I would welcome correction.

I am going to guess there may also be a significant age difference, an educated guess.

I believe you left out the "I still love you and don't want a divorce." However, my leanings are also that the marriage is probably not retrievable at this point, the keyword being probably. I would still want to communicate with the wife before taking any legal action. I would not conclude the marriage was never a valid one but do expect the age difference exceeds 15 years. (not that there's anything wrong with the age difference, just that it's probably one factor in the picture) There are two parties to the relationship and we have no information about how this woman was treated by her husband. (just the facts, not an accusation)

There is an 18 year difference in the ages, which she said was absolutely no problem from the beginning. I am very healthy and active! She was married before to a chinese, same age and she said the men this age are immature and not sincere about a commitment. We were married OCT. 17th, 2005 in China. Her LPR was approved on Oct.22nd ,2007. FIVE days difference. Adjustment classification: IR-6

[Dennis Miller 0]

Dennis,

I have been following this thread since the beginning. I have nothing to offer but to tell you that to "keep your head up and to follow your Heart". We wish you the best!!

THANK YOU!!!!!!

[Dennis Miller 0]

Dennis, I am sorry you are so confused and worried about the situation you are in.

As said in a previous post, your wife will have a conditional card if her card was applied for before the 2 year anniversary of your marriage. This would been in Oct 2007, so if she arrived in Feb that year I imagine you would have applied before 7 months had elapsed and you yourself would have had forms to sign, do you have copies of them so that you can check?

Your wife may not be aware that the card is conditional on your marriage being confirmed after 2 years. There is another application needed that you would need to file jointly, for her to remain here legally if her card gives her "conditional" residence. I know the legalities may have been overlooked as the rules can be very difficult even for those with English as their 1st language to get their heads around.

I hope for the best for your future

There's nothing that says one must stay in the marriage just because one has a green card. So the mere fact that she's left doesn't tell us much of anything.

What we'd need to know is two things: whether her permanent residency is conditional (it's not clear when you married, or if she'll need to remove conditions), and whether you suspect that the marriage was entered into primarily for immigration benefit.

We married in China Oct. 17th 2005. She came to the US in FEb. 2007. We lived happily together for eight months, until she got the green card. At that time she went back to China for three months. Returned to US Feb. 14th this year and one week after returning said she was leaving to go to work in California. Left on the 28th. I paid airfare. She said before leaving that she loved me and did not want a divorce. She has never been affectionate to me. I just feel I was used to get here and get legal and then bye, bye! She has permanent residency for ten years. I don't know if she has to remove conditions as I never got to see the card or letter with it. I did see the notice they sent before mailing it and it said nothing about removing conditions. Thank you for your input!

as said in a previous post, your wife will have a conditional card if her card was applied for before the 2 year anniversary of your marriage. This would be Oct 2007, you would have had forms to fill, do you have the copies that you can check? She

Date of adjustment: 10/22/2007 married 10/17/2005 ! Thank you!

[mnieto 2]

Dennis,

I don't have any valid advice for you, but just wanted to say that no husband or wife deserves a "....I'll go working somewhere, don't know when I'll be back, can't leave a phone number for you either, I'll see you when I see you...", no matter if it is a cultural thing or not.

You seem to be a very nice person, according to your posts. You were generous, offered to pay for you mom-in-law's surgery, offered a safe home , financial security and your love to your wife....

For the sake of you knowing that you have done everything possible to save your marriage you should try to find and talk to her and find out what her behavior is all about. But if you see that she only used you and your kind heart, you absolutely should protect yourself and take care of your own well-being.

Surely we don't know your entire story. But if everything was like you have said, her behavior is very cruel. No human being who offered nothing but help should be treated in such an hurtful way like she treats you right now, leaving you in limbo.

All the best to you, Dennis! And don't hesitate to post here if you have questions or just need to vent. This community will be there for you.

[Boiler 43,684]

Dennis,

I don't have any valid advice for you, but just wanted to say that no husband or wife deserves a "....I'll go working somewhere, don't know when I'll be back, can't leave a phone number for you either, I'll see you when I see you...", no matter if it is a cultural thing or not.

You seem to be a very nice person, according to your posts. You were generous, offered to pay for you mom-in-law's surgery, offered a safe home , financial security and your love to your wife....

For the sake of you knowing that you have done everything possible to save your marriage you should try to find and talk to her and find out what her behavior is all about. But if you see that she only used you and your kind heart, you absolutely should protect yourself and take care of your own well-being.

Surely we don't know your entire story. But if everything was like you have said, her behavior is very cruel. No human being who offered nothing but help should be treated in such an hurtful way like she treats you right now, leaving you in limbo.

All the best to you, Dennis! And don't hesitate to post here if you have questions or just need to vent. This community will be there for you.

Much nicer put than I did, but the end result is the same.

[Dennis Miller 0]

Dennis,

I don't have any valid advice for you, but just wanted to say that no husband or wife deserves a "....I'll go working somewhere, don't know when I'll be back, can't leave a phone number for you either, I'll see you when I see you...", no matter if it is a cultural thing or not.

You seem to be a very nice person, according to your posts. You were generous, offered to pay for you mom-in-law's surgery, offered a safe home , financial security and your love to your wife....

For the sake of you knowing that you have done everything possible to save your marriage you should try to find and talk to her and find out what her behavior is all about. But if you see that she only used you and your kind heart, you absolutely should protect yourself and take care of your own well-being.

Surely we don't know your entire story. But if everything was like you have said, her behavior is very cruel. No human being who offered nothing but help should be treated in such an hurtful way like she treats you right now, leaving you in limbo.

All the best to you, Dennis! And don't hesitate to post here if you have questions or just need to vent. This community will be there for you.

Thank you! The hardest part of this is being in limbo. That and commiting three years of my life which I can never get back. I feel I'm to old now to start over and I NEVER want to feel this pain again. It is just like when my previous wife died.

[Dennis Miller 0]

wow, you know so much! can you tell me my future? I'm a Leo

Some people can turn off their feelings like that, very quickly, others cannot! It seems to me that everyone is getting tired of hearing about my problems so I will stop now. Many thanks to everyone who posted back. I do appreciate it. I now have a much better understanding of what I believe is happening, although I don't like it or deserve it. I will never know how a Chinese woman can loose face by telling her husband the truth if she has done nothing bad. Dennis

Don't let ignorance stopping you from posting here and asking questions. Some people just always have to be supersmart.

Ignorant and Supersmart? Surely one or the other, not both.

But if I missed anything in my summation, I would welcome correction.

I am going to guess there may also be a significant age difference, an educated guess.

I believe you left out the "I still love you and don't want a divorce." However, my leanings are also that the marriage is probably not retrievable at this point, the keyword being probably. I would still want to communicate with the wife before taking any legal action. I would not conclude the marriage was never a valid one but do expect the age difference exceeds 15 years. (not that there's anything wrong with the age difference, just that it's probably one factor in the picture) There are two parties to the relationship and we have no information about how this woman was treated by her husband. (just the facts, not an accusation)

I can tell you that she was treated very, very well. I got her whatever she wanted or needed. She has had all her favorite chinese foods, chinese television, telephone calls to and from China, some money sent to China, new clothes, and much LOVE!