What are the legalities of desertion after green card is recieved

[DARUMA07 25]

Dennis,

I don't have any valid advice for you, but just wanted to say that no husband or wife deserves a "....I'll go working somewhere, don't know when I'll be back, can't leave a phone number for you either, I'll see you when I see you...", no matter if it is a cultural thing or not.

You seem to be a very nice person, according to your posts. You were generous, offered to pay for you mom-in-law's surgery, offered a safe home , financial security and your love to your wife....

For the sake of you knowing that you have done everything possible to save your marriage you should try to find and talk to her and find out what her behavior is all about. But if you see that she only used you and your kind heart, you absolutely should protect yourself and take care of your own well-being.

Surely we don't know your entire story. But if everything was like you have said, her behavior is very cruel. No human being who offered nothing but help should be treated in such an hurtful way like she treats you right now, leaving you in limbo.

All the best to you, Dennis! And don't hesitate to post here if you have questions or just need to vent. This community will be there for you.

Thank you! The hardest part of this is being in limbo. That and commiting three years of my life which I can never get back. I feel I'm to old now to start over and I NEVER want to feel this pain again. It is just like when my previous wife died.

Dennis,

Your never too old to start over. I, too have lost a spouse in death. A matter of fact, I lost 2 wives to Cancer. I will be 50 years old this July and I never thought I was too old to find love again. Fortunately for me, I found the wife that I am with now. Remember that you did everything that you could do for this woman. If for some reason or another, you and your wife don't get back together..... Remember one thing! Your life continues and the emptiness you feel now will subside in time. Don't ever give up the possibility that you can find Love again. We all are Deservant to have Happiness... Good Luck to you!!.....

Danny

[Dennis Miller 0]

Dennis,

I don't have any valid advice for you, but just wanted to say that no husband or wife deserves a "....I'll go working somewhere, don't know when I'll be back, can't leave a phone number for you either, I'll see you when I see you...", no matter if it is a cultural thing or not.

You seem to be a very nice person, according to your posts. You were generous, offered to pay for you mom-in-law's surgery, offered a safe home , financial security and your love to your wife....

For the sake of you knowing that you have done everything possible to save your marriage you should try to find and talk to her and find out what her behavior is all about. But if you see that she only used you and your kind heart, you absolutely should protect yourself and take care of your own well-being.

Surely we don't know your entire story. But if everything was like you have said, her behavior is very cruel. No human being who offered nothing but help should be treated in such an hurtful way like she treats you right now, leaving you in limbo.

All the best to you, Dennis! And don't hesitate to post here if you have questions or just need to vent. This community will be there for you.

Thank you! The hardest part of this is being in limbo. That and commiting three years of my life which I can never get back. I feel I'm to old now to start over and I NEVER want to feel this pain again. It is just like when my previous wife died.

Dennis,

Your never too old to start over. I, too have lost a spouse in death. A matter of fact, I lost 2 wives to Cancer. I will be 50 years old this July and I never thought I was too old to find love again. Fortunately for me, I found the wife that I am with now. Remember that you did everything that you could do for this woman. If for some reason or another, you and your wife don't get back together..... Remember one thing! Your life continues and the emptiness you feel now will subside in time. Don't ever give up the possibility that you can find Love again. We all are Deservant to have Happiness... Good Luck to you!!.....

Danny

Thanks very much! When in July is yours? Mine is the 11th. When I was fifty four I found this wife and decided I would try one more time. Now I don't know.

[DARUMA07 25]

Dennis,

I don't have any valid advice for you, but just wanted to say that no husband or wife deserves a "....I'll go working somewhere, don't know when I'll be back, can't leave a phone number for you either, I'll see you when I see you...", no matter if it is a cultural thing or not.

You seem to be a very nice person, according to your posts. You were generous, offered to pay for you mom-in-law's surgery, offered a safe home , financial security and your love to your wife....

For the sake of you knowing that you have done everything possible to save your marriage you should try to find and talk to her and find out what her behavior is all about. But if you see that she only used you and your kind heart, you absolutely should protect yourself and take care of your own well-being.

Surely we don't know your entire story. But if everything was like you have said, her behavior is very cruel. No human being who offered nothing but help should be treated in such an hurtful way like she treats you right now, leaving you in limbo.

All the best to you, Dennis! And don't hesitate to post here if you have questions or just need to vent. This community will be there for you.

Thank you! The hardest part of this is being in limbo. That and commiting three years of my life which I can never get back. I feel I'm to old now to start over and I NEVER want to feel this pain again. It is just like when my previous wife died.

Dennis,

Your never too old to start over. I, too have lost a spouse in death. A matter of fact, I lost 2 wives to Cancer. I will be 50 years old this July and I never thought I was too old to find love again. Fortunately for me, I found the wife that I am with now. Remember that you did everything that you could do for this woman. If for some reason or another, you and your wife don't get back together..... Remember one thing! Your life continues and the emptiness you feel now will subside in time. Don't ever give up the possibility that you can find Love again. We all are Deservant to have Happiness... Good Luck to you!!.....

Danny

Thanks very much! When in July is yours? Mine is the 11th. When I was fifty four I found this wife and decided I would try one more time. Now I don't know.

July 13th........ I think you need to go on a drive away from the city to give yourself time to clear your head. Sometimes, just getting away from it all will help you clear your thoughts. What I am saying is for you to take time for yourself so you can have a better focus on your given situation....

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Dennis,

I don't have any valid advice for you, but just wanted to say that no husband or wife deserves a "....I'll go working somewhere, don't know when I'll be back, can't leave a phone number for you either, I'll see you when I see you...", no matter if it is a cultural thing or not.

You seem to be a very nice person, according to your posts. You were generous, offered to pay for you mom-in-law's surgery, offered a safe home , financial security and your love to your wife....

For the sake of you knowing that you have done everything possible to save your marriage you should try to find and talk to her and find out what her behavior is all about. But if you see that she only used you and your kind heart, you absolutely should protect yourself and take care of your own well-being.

Surely we don't know your entire story. But if everything was like you have said, her behavior is very cruel. No human being who offered nothing but help should be treated in such an hurtful way like she treats you right now, leaving you in limbo.

All the best to you, Dennis! And don't hesitate to post here if you have questions or just need to vent. This community will be there for you.

Thank you! The hardest part of this is being in limbo. That and commiting three years of my life which I can never get back. I feel I'm to old now to start over and I NEVER want to feel this pain again. It is just like when my previous wife died.

Sometimes our desire for something to be what we wish it to be clouds our vision to see what it really is. Your perception that you are aging without the right person in your life just could be contributing to the absence of the right person in your life. Relax, enjoy today, be content with who you are, and what you wish for will be given.

[Dennis Miller 0]

Dennis,

I don't have any valid advice for you, but just wanted to say that no husband or wife deserves a "....I'll go working somewhere, don't know when I'll be back, can't leave a phone number for you either, I'll see you when I see you...", no matter if it is a cultural thing or not.

You seem to be a very nice person, according to your posts. You were generous, offered to pay for you mom-in-law's surgery, offered a safe home , financial security and your love to your wife....

For the sake of you knowing that you have done everything possible to save your marriage you should try to find and talk to her and find out what her behavior is all about. But if you see that she only used you and your kind heart, you absolutely should protect yourself and take care of your own well-being.

Surely we don't know your entire story. But if everything was like you have said, her behavior is very cruel. No human being who offered nothing but help should be treated in such an hurtful way like she treats you right now, leaving you in limbo.

All the best to you, Dennis! And don't hesitate to post here if you have questions or just need to vent. This community will be there for you.

Thank you! The hardest part of this is being in limbo. That and commiting three years of my life which I can never get back. I feel I'm to old now to start over and I NEVER want to feel this pain again. It is just like when my previous wife died.

Dennis,

Your never too old to start over. I, too have lost a spouse in death. A matter of fact, I lost 2 wives to Cancer. I will be 50 years old this July and I never thought I was too old to find love again. Fortunately for me, I found the wife that I am with now. Remember that you did everything that you could do for this woman. If for some reason or another, you and your wife don't get back together..... Remember one thing! Your life continues and the emptiness you feel now will subside in time. Don't ever give up the possibility that you can find Love again. We all are Deservant to have Happiness... Good Luck to you!!.....

Danny

Thanks very much! When in July is yours? Mine is the 11th. When I was fifty four I found this wife and decided I would try one more time. Now I don't know.

July 13th........ I think you need to go on a drive away from the city to give yourself time to clear your head. Sometimes, just getting away from it all will help you clear your thoughts. What I am saying is for you to take time for yourself so you can have a better focus on your given situation....

Who can afford the gas to go on a long drive? I get sick thinking about my present situation. Actually, I'm reroofing my house in my spare time and being alone up on the roof gives me time to think. about falling off.

[Dennis Miller 0]

Dennis,

I don't have any valid advice for you, but just wanted to say that no husband or wife deserves a "....I'll go working somewhere, don't know when I'll be back, can't leave a phone number for you either, I'll see you when I see you...", no matter if it is a cultural thing or not.

You seem to be a very nice person, according to your posts. You were generous, offered to pay for you mom-in-law's surgery, offered a safe home , financial security and your love to your wife....

For the sake of you knowing that you have done everything possible to save your marriage you should try to find and talk to her and find out what her behavior is all about. But if you see that she only used you and your kind heart, you absolutely should protect yourself and take care of your own well-being.

Surely we don't know your entire story. But if everything was like you have said, her behavior is very cruel. No human being who offered nothing but help should be treated in such an hurtful way like she treats you right now, leaving you in limbo.

All the best to you, Dennis! And don't hesitate to post here if you have questions or just need to vent. This community will be there for you.

Thank you! The hardest part of this is being in limbo. That and commiting three years of my life which I can never get back. I feel I'm to old now to start over and I NEVER want to feel this pain again. It is just like when my previous wife died.

Sometimes our desire for something to be what we wish it to be clouds our vision to see what it really is. Your perception that you are aging without the right person in your life just could be contributing to the absence of the right person in your life. Relax, enjoy today, be content with who you are, and what you wish for will be given.

Thank you but I have never been given anything. Everything I have ever had or done I worked hard for.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Dennis,

I don't have any valid advice for you, but just wanted to say that no husband or wife deserves a "....I'll go working somewhere, don't know when I'll be back, can't leave a phone number for you either, I'll see you when I see you...", no matter if it is a cultural thing or not.

You seem to be a very nice person, according to your posts. You were generous, offered to pay for you mom-in-law's surgery, offered a safe home , financial security and your love to your wife....

For the sake of you knowing that you have done everything possible to save your marriage you should try to find and talk to her and find out what her behavior is all about. But if you see that she only used you and your kind heart, you absolutely should protect yourself and take care of your own well-being.

Surely we don't know your entire story. But if everything was like you have said, her behavior is very cruel. No human being who offered nothing but help should be treated in such an hurtful way like she treats you right now, leaving you in limbo.

All the best to you, Dennis! And don't hesitate to post here if you have questions or just need to vent. This community will be there for you.

Thank you! The hardest part of this is being in limbo. That and commiting three years of my life which I can never get back. I feel I'm to old now to start over and I NEVER want to feel this pain again. It is just like when my previous wife died.

Sometimes our desire for something to be what we wish it to be clouds our vision to see what it really is. Your perception that you are aging without the right person in your life just could be contributing to the absence of the right person in your life. Relax, enjoy today, be content with who you are, and what you wish for will be given.

Thank you but I have never been given anything. Everything I have ever had or done I worked hard for.

From a "glass is half empty" perspective, perhaps. You have been given health, companionship, family, intellect, two hands, two feet, eyes....etc. If you can rejoice in that which you have, rather than that which you "have not", all those things which seem to be evading you right now will happen of their own accord and in time.( the commitment of another person who will share in your life's journey, for example). But dwelling on the fact that time is running out for you to find the happiness you wished for will stand in your way rather than make it happen on your schedule.

[Dennis Miller 0]

Dennis,

I don't have any valid advice for you, but just wanted to say that no husband or wife deserves a "....I'll go working somewhere, don't know when I'll be back, can't leave a phone number for you either, I'll see you when I see you...", no matter if it is a cultural thing or not.

You seem to be a very nice person, according to your posts. You were generous, offered to pay for you mom-in-law's surgery, offered a safe home , financial security and your love to your wife....

For the sake of you knowing that you have done everything possible to save your marriage you should try to find and talk to her and find out what her behavior is all about. But if you see that she only used you and your kind heart, you absolutely should protect yourself and take care of your own well-being.

Surely we don't know your entire story. But if everything was like you have said, her behavior is very cruel. No human being who offered nothing but help should be treated in such an hurtful way like she treats you right now, leaving you in limbo.

All the best to you, Dennis! And don't hesitate to post here if you have questions or just need to vent. This community will be there for you.

Thank you! The hardest part of this is being in limbo. That and commiting three years of my life which I can never get back. I feel I'm to old now to start over and I NEVER want to feel this pain again. It is just like when my previous wife died.

Sometimes our desire for something to be what we wish it to be clouds our vision to see what it really is. Your perception that you are aging without the right person in your life just could be contributing to the absence of the right person in your life. Relax, enjoy today, be content with who you are, and what you wish for will be given.

Thank you but I have never been given anything. Everything I have ever had or done I worked hard for.

From a "glass is half empty" perspective, perhaps. You have been given health, companionship, family, intellect, two hands, two feet, eyes....etc. If you can rejoice in that which you have, rather than that which you "have not", all those things which seem to be evading you right now will happen of their own accord and in time.( the commitment of another person who will share in your life's journey, for example). But dwelling on the fact that time is running out for you to find the happiness you wished for will stand in your way rather than make it happen on your schedule.

Health, a daughter who doesn't visit me, intellect, two hands, feet,eyes. YES, this is more than some people are blessed with! I have been alone for most of the last four years. Lonliness is terrible, it does things to your head. Companionship-they're all gone. Thank you for your advice though.

Edited March 30, 2008 by Dennis Miller

[nane1104 146]

Dennis,

I don't have any valid advice for you, but just wanted to say that no husband or wife deserves a "....I'll go working somewhere, don't know when I'll be back, can't leave a phone number for you either, I'll see you when I see you...", no matter if it is a cultural thing or not.

You seem to be a very nice person, according to your posts. You were generous, offered to pay for you mom-in-law's surgery, offered a safe home , financial security and your love to your wife....

For the sake of you knowing that you have done everything possible to save your marriage you should try to find and talk to her and find out what her behavior is all about. But if you see that she only used you and your kind heart, you absolutely should protect yourself and take care of your own well-being.

Surely we don't know your entire story. But if everything was like you have said, her behavior is very cruel. No human being who offered nothing but help should be treated in such an hurtful way like she treats you right now, leaving you in limbo.

All the best to you, Dennis! And don't hesitate to post here if you have questions or just need to vent. This community will be there for you.

Thank you! The hardest part of this is being in limbo. That and commiting three years of my life which I can never get back. I feel I'm to old now to start over and I NEVER want to feel this pain again. It is just like when my previous wife died.

Sometimes our desire for something to be what we wish it to be clouds our vision to see what it really is. Your perception that you are aging without the right person in your life just could be contributing to the absence of the right person in your life. Relax, enjoy today, be content with who you are, and what you wish for will be given.

Thank you but I have never been given anything. Everything I have ever had or done I worked hard for.

From a "glass is half empty" perspective, perhaps. You have been given health, companionship, family, intellect, two hands, two feet, eyes....etc. If you can rejoice in that which you have, rather than that which you "have not", all those things which seem to be evading you right now will happen of their own accord and in time.( the commitment of another person who will share in your life's journey, for example). But dwelling on the fact that time is running out for you to find the happiness you wished for will stand in your way rather than make it happen on your schedule.

Health, a daughter who doesn't visit me, intellect, two hands, feet,eyes. YES, this is more than some people are blessed with! I have been alone for most of the last four years. Lonliness is terrible, it does things to your head. Companionship-they're all gone. Thank you for your advice though.

I am sorry that you are feeling so sad and lonely and unhappy right now. Yes, it feels good to have someone special in your life, but don't forget that happiness is not coming from other people, it has to be in yourself. Don't rely on others to be happy or feel good about life.

Keep in mind, if you are happy and in peace with yourself and your life, you will attract others to share it with you.

I really hope you will find that special someone for you, may it be your current wife or someone else, but don't try to find happness through another person, you WILL get hurt.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Dennis,

I don't have any valid advice for you, but just wanted to say that no husband or wife deserves a "....I'll go working somewhere, don't know when I'll be back, can't leave a phone number for you either, I'll see you when I see you...", no matter if it is a cultural thing or not.

You seem to be a very nice person, according to your posts. You were generous, offered to pay for you mom-in-law's surgery, offered a safe home , financial security and your love to your wife....

For the sake of you knowing that you have done everything possible to save your marriage you should try to find and talk to her and find out what her behavior is all about. But if you see that she only used you and your kind heart, you absolutely should protect yourself and take care of your own well-being.

Surely we don't know your entire story. But if everything was like you have said, her behavior is very cruel. No human being who offered nothing but help should be treated in such an hurtful way like she treats you right now, leaving you in limbo.

All the best to you, Dennis! And don't hesitate to post here if you have questions or just need to vent. This community will be there for you.

Thank you! The hardest part of this is being in limbo. That and commiting three years of my life which I can never get back. I feel I'm to old now to start over and I NEVER want to feel this pain again. It is just like when my previous wife died.

Sometimes our desire for something to be what we wish it to be clouds our vision to see what it really is. Your perception that you are aging without the right person in your life just could be contributing to the absence of the right person in your life. Relax, enjoy today, be content with who you are, and what you wish for will be given.

Thank you but I have never been given anything. Everything I have ever had or done I worked hard for.

From a "glass is half empty" perspective, perhaps. You have been given health, companionship, family, intellect, two hands, two feet, eyes....etc. If you can rejoice in that which you have, rather than that which you "have not", all those things which seem to be evading you right now will happen of their own accord and in time.( the commitment of another person who will share in your life's journey, for example). But dwelling on the fact that time is running out for you to find the happiness you wished for will stand in your way rather than make it happen on your schedule.

Health, a daughter who doesn't visit me, intellect, two hands, feet,eyes. YES, this is more than some people are blessed with! I have been alone for most of the last four years. Lonliness is terrible, it does things to your head. Companionship-they're all gone. Thank you for your advice though.

The state of your current marriage aside, if you were looking for someone special, would you be drawn to someone that exhibits needy traits for companionship, or someone that feels he is lonely? All of us feel lonely at times, but what draws others to us, all of us, is a confidence and a joie de vivre ~ that is magnetic! I recognise that this is a difficult time, but try to focus on maintaining a positive outlook on the future and all the rest WILL come

[LadyJane 1]

I second Mermaid's advice- exuding positive attitude and energy will lift your spirits. Smile, even if you aren't right now, and examine how that makes you feel. Doesn't that feel good?

We understand your loneliness, as we all have experienced it to one degree or another, and my advice is do things for yourself first. Do things that make you happy and don't do things for the sake of attracting someone. When you are happy and energetic and positive, things will just fall into place.

We (aka the VJ community) are here for you and I wish you the best of luck.

[pushbrk 12,257]

I second Mermaid's advice- exuding positive attitude and energy will lift your spirits. Smile, even if you aren't right now, and examine how that makes you feel. Doesn't that feel good?

We understand your loneliness, as we all have experienced it to one degree or another, and my advice is do things for yourself first. Do things that make you happy and don't do things for the sake of attracting someone. When you are happy and energetic and positive, things will just fall into place.

We (aka the VJ community) are here for you and I wish you the best of luck.

Loneliness is a voluntary condition best mitigated by doing something nice for somebody, even if it is for yourself.

[mnieto 2]

I am sorry that you are feeling so sad and lonely and unhappy right now. Yes, it feels good to have someone special in your life, but don't forget that happiness is not coming from other people, it has to be in yourself. Don't rely on others to be happy or feel good about life.

Keep in mind, if you are happy and in peace with yourself and your life, you will attract others to share it with you.

I really hope you will find that special someone for you, may it be your current wife or someone else, but don't try to find happness through another person, you WILL get hurt.

I agree with that. Dennis, have you ever tried to do something that has never crossed your mind? For example, I know a guy who thought that Yoga was only for frustrated housewives or esoteric freaks. Then he accompanied a female friend of his to a class for a laugh, got curious, had some classes himself and was surprised how his health started to improve and how his inner balance miraculously became stronger, ever since he has been practicing Yoga. Now he even talks about learning all about meditation. Maybe this sounds funny to you. But I'm just saying that you might find joy in things that never crossed your mind. Sometimes it helps to break out of daily routines and old habits....

[Dennis Miller 0]

Dennis,

I don't have any valid advice for you, but just wanted to say that no husband or wife deserves a "....I'll go working somewhere, don't know when I'll be back, can't leave a phone number for you either, I'll see you when I see you...", no matter if it is a cultural thing or not.

You seem to be a very nice person, according to your posts. You were generous, offered to pay for you mom-in-law's surgery, offered a safe home , financial security and your love to your wife....

For the sake of you knowing that you have done everything possible to save your marriage you should try to find and talk to her and find out what her behavior is all about. But if you see that she only used you and your kind heart, you absolutely should protect yourself and take care of your own well-being.

Surely we don't know your entire story. But if everything was like you have said, her behavior is very cruel. No human being who offered nothing but help should be treated in such an hurtful way like she treats you right now, leaving you in limbo.

All the best to you, Dennis! And don't hesitate to post here if you have questions or just need to vent. This community will be there for you.

Thank you! The hardest part of this is being in limbo. That and commiting three years of my life which I can never get back. I feel I'm to old now to start over and I NEVER want to feel this pain again. It is just like when my previous wife died.

Sometimes our desire for something to be what we wish it to be clouds our vision to see what it really is. Your perception that you are aging without the right person in your life just could be contributing to the absence of the right person in your life. Relax, enjoy today, be content with who you are, and what you wish for will be given.

Thank you but I have never been given anything. Everything I have ever had or done I worked hard for.

From a "glass is half empty" perspective, perhaps. You have been given health, companionship, family, intellect, two hands, two feet, eyes....etc. If you can rejoice in that which you have, rather than that which you "have not", all those things which seem to be evading you right now will happen of their own accord and in time.( the commitment of another person who will share in your life's journey, for example). But dwelling on the fact that time is running out for you to find the happiness you wished for will stand in your way rather than make it happen on your schedule.

Health, a daughter who doesn't visit me, intellect, two hands, feet,eyes. YES, this is more than some people are blessed with! I have been alone for most of the last four years. Lonliness is terrible, it does things to your head. Companionship-they're all gone. Thank you for your advice though.

The state of your current marriage aside, if you were looking for someone special, would you be drawn to someone that exhibits needy traits for companionship, or someone that feels he is lonely? All of us feel lonely at times, but what draws others to us, all of us, is a confidence and a joie de vivre ~ that is magnetic! I recognise that this is a difficult time, but try to focus on maintaining a positive outlook on the future and all the rest WILL come

Thank you, I am trying but the pain is unbearable.

[Dennis Miller 0]

I second Mermaid's advice- exuding positive attitude and energy will lift your spirits. Smile, even if you aren't right now, and examine how that makes you feel. Doesn't that feel good?

We understand your loneliness, as we all have experienced it to one degree or another, and my advice is do things for yourself first. Do things that make you happy and don't do things for the sake of attracting someone. When you are happy and energetic and positive, things will just fall into place.

We (aka the VJ community) are here for you and I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you , thank you all~ you are good people!