Have you ever gotten into any arguments with your SO during your visa journey ?

[panamania79 2]

Sometimes we would get into arguments over the dumbest things because his family was always in our business.Since I stopped bothering with them,we stopped fighting.

[Jason-Sasha 1]

We would sometimes have tiny spats about silly things. but we chalk it up to the seperation and the anxiety this journey causes. I think it must be normal.

[Fandango 1,439]

Heh, I wanna meet the couple who answers 'no'

[LaL 418]

Heh, I wanna meet the couple who answers 'no'

My hubby & I would be a "no" and we didn't have an easy journey.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

No.

Our arguments started after she arrived.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Productive arguing

1. Stick to the issue in hand - don't bring up previous misdemeanors or other things you've been meaning to say.

2. Don't argue over trivia - for example, arguing whether it was Monday or Tuesday that you forgot the milk. The issue is you forgot, not which day it was.

3. Start sentences with "I" - for example, "I felt annoyed when you..." rather than "You annoyed me when..." And "I would like to go out more often," not "We should go out more often."

4. Don't use absolutes - never say "never", "always", "should" or "shouldn't". They're irritating and often inaccurate. For example, "You never wash up" will almost certainly get a response of "What about when...?"

5. Let your opinions stand on their own merits - don't be tempted to bring in other people's opinions.

6. Try to stay sitting down, relax your muscles and don't forget to breathe - it's much easier to stay calm if you're not pacing around the room.

7. Don't start throwing abuse around - calling your partner lazy, fat or paranoid isn't going to convince them to see your point of view.

8. Be aware of your feelings and tell your partner these as well - saying "I'm scared you don't love me anymore" is likely to get a better response than "You don't act like you love me."

9. Try not to block the conversation - don't interrupt, launch into a monologue or expect them to be a mind-reader.

10. Agree to a code word for time out - if one or both of you feels you're getting overheated it's best to take some time away from each other to calm down before going back to the disagreement.

Remember, who wins the argument is irrelevant if your relationship loses something. Always try to confront the issue - not each other.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

And when the visajourney feels rough with no end in sight, remember this:

[Scott & Lai 12]

Productive arguing

1. Stick to the issue in hand - don't bring up previous misdemeanors or other things you've been meaning to say.

2. Don't argue over trivia - for example, arguing whether it was Monday or Tuesday that you forgot the milk. The issue is you forgot, not which day it was.

3. Start sentences with "I" - for example, "I felt annoyed when you..." rather than "You annoyed me when..." And "I would like to go out more often," not "We should go out more often."

4. Don't use absolutes - never say "never", "always", "should" or "shouldn't". They're irritating and often inaccurate. For example, "You never wash up" will almost certainly get a response of "What about when...?"

5. Let your opinions stand on their own merits - don't be tempted to bring in other people's opinions.

6. Try to stay sitting down, relax your muscles and don't forget to breathe - it's much easier to stay calm if you're not pacing around the room.

7. Don't start throwing abuse around - calling your partner lazy, fat or paranoid isn't going to convince them to see your point of view.

8. Be aware of your feelings and tell your partner these as well - saying "I'm scared you don't love me anymore" is likely to get a better response than "You don't act like you love me."

9. Try not to block the conversation - don't interrupt, launch into a monologue or expect them to be a mind-reader.

10. Agree to a code word for time out - if one or both of you feels you're getting overheated it's best to take some time away from each other to calm down before going back to the disagreement.

Remember, who wins the argument is irrelevant if your relationship loses something. Always try to confront the issue - not each other.

Excellent advice

[gwenneh 7]

Nope. And considering we've been through the visa process twice, I count us as fortunate.

[Jaseball 0]

Nope. And considering we've been through the visa process twice, I count us as fortunate.

No as well.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I've consulted with my lawyer who's told me to decline from comment.

Edited February 18, 2008 by Mister Fancypants

[sj5 4]

Heh, I wanna meet the couple who answers 'no'

Then time for you to meet us.. We never argue about visajourney

[sj5 4]

I've consulted with my lawyer who's told me to decline from comment.

[Krikit 1,163]

And when the visajourney feels rough with no end in sight, remember this:

I Despair.com. I used to have their demotivators on my office walls before I resigned from that position and moved to the US. *sigh* I really never knew how good I had it.

[Teacher Mark 53]

And when the visajourney feels rough with no end in sight, remember this:

I Despair.com. I used to have their demotivators on my office walls before I resigned from that position and moved to the US. *sigh* I really never knew how good I had it.

Yes! Fellow despair.com fans! Those motivational posters make me want to gag. I'm starting to see some common traits among my fellow VJers.

P.S. Thuy and I never argue. She knows I'm always wrong and so do I.